I hid my face against R's shoulder, my eyes squeezed closed but my mind unable to block out the terrifying sensation of freefalling. I did feel R take a more secure grip on me, his arms crushing around my body, the wind like a scream in my ears - and then we hit the water. It was as if we'd stepped on a landmine. Even with R underneath me, taking the worst of the fall, the impact was awful. It tore him away from me, even though I grasped blindly for him. Buoyant, I rose to the surface more out of physics than any active direction from me - I don't think I was swimming, I was just reaching for R, trying to see him in the mass of blue and bubbles, then my head broke the surface of the water. I didn't care about my bruised, stinging body or the awful chill of the water clutching me. I spun around in the water, gasping. "R!" He wasn't there. The water stilled somewhat, ripples from our landing spreading out to the water's edge when I spotted him lying motionless on the bottom with his eyes closed and his dark hair floating around his face.
Get him! Get him out!
It didn't matter to me that he didn't need air to live, that being underwater shouldn't have been dangerous to him. My heart knew better. I barely paused to haul in a breath before I dived. My eyes remained wide open this time so I couldn't loose him. Bathed in the blue light from the water, throwing the faint scars on his face into relief, he looked almost peaceful. I wasn't fooled. Catching him around his shoulders, I lifted him with me, heading for the brightness of the sun reflecting off the surface. Drops streamed down my face as we surfaced together and I saw him bobbing loosely in my grasp, his eyes still not open.
"R! R, please!" I took him by the cheeks, leaned in close to look for signs of life. He bobbed dangerously low in the water, and I propped him up by grasping his shoulders. Finally, his head gave a little shake, and he gasped. My hands landed back on his cheeks as he opened his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I demanded frantically, running my hand over his head to brush the hair out of his eyes. "Uh-huh." He breathed back, sounding very much like himself, my hands sliding down to his shoulders and clinging there in sheer relief. "Yeah?"
Now that his eyes were open... it must have been the reflection of the water, because they had never seemed so bright a blue. It wasn't just the colour that held me captive, either. It was the way he was looking at me. He pressed his lips together emphatically and his gaze never once wavered. I could see it now - the love he had for me. Maybe I'd always seen it, and been too afraid - afraid of betraying Perry, afraid for my own safety at first - afraid of acknowledging it to myself. Then R leaned down, no trace of nervousness left now.
You're about to kiss a zombie!
Yeah? He doesn't look so Dead to me. I sneaked a last look at him, his eyes closing, his expression sweet and earnest, and wrapped my hands around the back of his neck to prove it to myself.
I stopped thinking the moment his lips touched mine. He kissed me like there was nothing else in the world. His lips on mine were soft but sure, a hand coming up to press against my back, and despite the coldness of the wind and the water I'd never felt so warm in all my life. I lost myself in feeling him against me, his lips moving against mine, his cheekbones under my fingertips, and by the time he slowly pulled away from the kiss, I knew I'd never get myself back.
I'd forgotten to breathe, drew in a deep one now, studying R's face as gazed back at me. I didn't care about the scars that I could still see tracing his face, the paleness of his skin revealed again now the water had washed away his disguise.
He was beautiful. He was perfect.
"Whoa." That brought that little smile of his back. In mutual agreement he dipped his head towards mine again, and I rose to meet him. Now he was confident, now he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me against him as he kissed me passionately. The forceful way he tugged his body against mine sent a thrill running through me. Every bit of love I'd seen in his face moments ago was in this kiss now.
I dimly felt him shivering, and reluctantly broke the kiss. I meant to say so many things to him. Tell him to get out of this freezing water, that now we were safe he had all the time in the world to kiss me anytime he wanted to. But his eyes caught me, captivated me, robbed me of my speech.
They changed colour. Right there with me watching, the last of the silvery grey swirled, shone brilliantly for a split second, then re-intensified as blue.
I was wrong - his eyes hadn't been bright before. They were now. Nobody ought to have eyes that blue, in the most beautiful shade I'd ever seen - if I hadn't already been falling in love with him, one look at the intensity and devotion in those blue, blue eyes would have done me in. I had never wanted to paint anybody in that moment quite as much as I did R.
I was completely captivated. It was while I was staring into his eyes and watching the small smile appear on his face that the bullet sounded, far too late to react to.
R reared back in the water with a look of astonishment, then clamped one hand high over his chest. I gasped, spun - and saw my father, gun raised, with a dozen armed men behind him.
"Next one's the head." He told R coldly. I moved in front of R at the same moment he ducked behind me, bobbing down in the water. My hand remained protectively on his arm. Dad's narrowed eyes went to me. "Move away from him, Julie."
Not again. Not again! For a second the same panic as earlier returned to me, the fear R was going to be shot. "No!" I lifted my hands up in a calming gesture, grasping for words. "Julie move, now!" Dad snapped.
"Dad - you have to listen to me!" I begged. "I know we lost everyone. I know you lost Mom. But you and me, we are still here. We can fix all this!" I could tell from the hardness of his face he wasn't listening. It only made me more frantic, more desperate to reach him somehow. Words poured out of me like the water rolling down my face. "We can start over - they need our help. Please Dad! Look at him!" I turned my head to R, low in the water behind me - couldn't they see how human he was? He was staring down at the hand that had been over his chest in disbelief.
"He's different! He's-" I stopped. Had I seen what I thought I had? I whipped back around, forgetting about the guns, forgetting about everyone. I placed my fingers against R's hand, which he held out to me as if asking me to explain what was happening. "-Bleeding..." I finished, stunned. Even as I watched, a great crimson cloud billowed into the water from the gunshot wound. I felt like I'd been shot instead. "He's bleeding! Dad!" He couldn't fail to see it now. It was right there in every announcement that he made before a salvage team left the city.
"Corpses don't bleed! Oh god-" I had never been so scared and so happy at once. "You're alive?" I whispered, looking at R's face. Hope was lighting up the new blue of his eyes. "Yeah." He breathed, nodding shakily, and laughter caught between glee and nerves escaped me. "He's alive!" I couldn't turn back to face all those guns, look into the face of a threat when something so incredible was happening. "You're alive!"
Behind us the men shifted, murmurs rising, Kevin's questioning tone among them. He'd seen R close-up, he knew Nora and I, had some measure of trust in us. However, I wasn't really able to concentrate on anything except the dark-haired, soaking wet man in front of me. I cradled his bloody hand, bracing my other palm on his uninjured shoulder to get a better look. "Does it hurt?" I held my breath. After a beat, an unfamiliar sound escaped R. He laughed. "Yeah."
"Sir?" Kevin spoke up. All of the guns were lowered now, and when I caught Kevin's eye, he smiled at me - a smile of relief. The guy Nora had dated was still in there, and our short list of allies had grown. He held his hand out, gesturing for us to come forwards. I led R cautiously, watching Dad. Slowly, he raised his radio.
"This is Grigio. The situation has changed."
I let go of R's hand so the soldiers could help him out. Once I was sure R was being looked after, I went to my father and gave him a hug, soaking clothes and all.
The situation had changed, all right. Now, we had hope. We had Dad, finally, on our side. "Let's get you two the hell out of here."
You two. You two.
I couldn't stay away from R. Once he was out of the water, Kevin began chatting earnestly at him, but I noticed the alarming way R leaned to one side. I quickly went to him, shooing Kevin away, then slid my shoulder under his arm and leaned into him gently, supporting some of his weight. He was still bleeding - we had to get him to a doctor. His eyelids were sliding closed then jerking rapidly back open, affording me glimpses of that shade of blue. I steered him towards Dad's jeep. He moved very sluggishly, and my worry began to increase. The bullet didn't look like it had hit anything vital - shoulder muscle predominantly - but who knew how R's body would react to it? What if his blood wasn't able to clot properly? I slid him into the seat, where he slumped, blinking. I leaned on his seat. "Be okay, R. I'm not losing you, too, understand?"
It was an obvious struggle for him to answer me, but he managed anyway. "I'll be.. okay." I stood up and kissed his lips, cold from the water, pulling back when Dad strode up. I got into the passenger seat beside Dad because it was obviously that's what he expected, but I kept a close watch on R. "Keep your hand over the wound. Apply pressure. We'll get you stitched up really soon, R."
My father looked in the rear-view mirror, then over at me. The tough lines around his eyes had softened. He hadn't looked so at ease since before Mom died. Without saying anything, he held out a hand to me, and I smiled as I accepted. He ruined the moment, naturally, by asking R if he was still bleeding.
No matter how much changed, some things would always be a constant. My father's suspicion was probably one of them, even if he'd thankfully gotten past the shoot-first stage.
R looked almost as nervous to be addressed civily as when Dad's words had been backed up by a gun. "Y-yes." I caught the stammer in his voice.
Wonder if it's because Dad understandably scares the living daylights out of him or because he's still having trouble talking?
Living daylights?
Shuttup.
He's probably not going to be better all at once anyway.
"Good." Dad responded, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Sorry." Funny, he didn't sound it. I sent R and apologetic look. I wished I could explain that Dad was more bark than bite, but considering all the gun episodes I didn't know how successful that would be anyway.
"Dad, what happened with the Boneys that got into the city? Is everyone..."
"We've taken a few losses, but it could have been a lot worse. The skeletons have been confined to the stadium only, and the..." He eyed R for a moment. "The Corpses are helping us fight them off. With their extra numbers, it's only a matter of time before we secure the city."
I breathed a sigh of relief. R's big friend had come through for us, after all - and I wasn't wrong. It was all of them. Our dreams were within reach now. R didn't say anything, but despite the blood trickling down his front he wore a look of quiet pride.
The hospital was protected by armed guards, but I was relieved to see them. R's head had started to loll. The city's hospital had been set up in a former doctor's surgery since the hospital building itself was well outside the line of the wall. With the addition of an old office block for additional beds, it serviced our enclosed, limited population well as a functioning hospital.
R didn't make a move to climb out of the car once we'd stopped. Worried, I unclipped my seat belt and dashed around the jeep to R's door. I reached for his neck, feeling his pulse drumming softly against my fingers. It wasn't regular, though that, like his speech, could have been his body adjusting or a reaction to the bullet wound. "R?" My worry crept up a notch when he didn't reply. "R, please stay with me."
"I will. Julie." Each word tumbled out on a sigh.
"You promise?" I was trying to keep him talking, dimly registering my father, ordering people around as he called for a doctor and stretcher.
"Promise." I managed to get a grip on my emotions when he replied that. R kept his promises.
He passed out, but I monitored his heartbeat and his breathing for the minute or so until the stretcher arrived. It was, despite the gunshot wound, an amazing thing to comprehend. R had a heartbeat. R was breathing.
"Miss Grigio. We're going to take him right through to surgery." The voice belonged to a doctor with dark brown hair and an open, if lined, face.
"I want to come." I responded on autopilot. He nodded, turning to help two buisnesslike nurses load R onto a stretcher. "Don't worry, Miss Grigio. He'll be fine. Come with us, I've got a few questions before we begin operating."
"Questions?" Once R was up on a trolley I reached for his hand. One of the nurses - a big, mean-looking one, honestly, food was being rationed, how did anyone get that overweight? - glared at me. I kept my fingers locked around R's anyway.
"Now, your father tells me - R used to be a Corpse?" I couldn't help but stare at the doctor. It wasn't what he'd said, but the earnest, matter of fact way he'd said it.
"Yeah... you... you're not..."
"Surprised? Not especially. I always hoped that we would find a cure one day. This is going to mean a great deal to so many people, Miss Grigio."
I reached out to touch his elbow so he looked at me, properly. "R means a great deal to me. Please... please say you'll look after him."
He smiled, and I really believed he would when he nodded. "Theatre's just up ahead. Can you tell me - how long has he been recovered? Has he eaten anything that you know of either before or after he changed?"
"A few days? As for food nothing since, but before..." I trialed off, unable to finish. But the doctor just waved a hand. "I understand. We're going to take him through now, wait out here and I'll send somebody to let you know what's happening as soon as possible."
The doors swung shut on R and the medical team, and I stared at them for several minutes before I drifted back to a chair and sat. Worry over R eclipsed any other thought in my head. Sure, the doctor sounded confident and competent, and he wasn't bothered by R's changing state. But how could anybody predict if R would be okay? What about all the old wounds I'd seen when R showered? Would they get infected? Were there still other bullets lodged inside him? I couldn't stay sitting and sprang up to pace the short corridor in and endless circuit. Dad came to find me, but he was awkward and obviously worried about the situation outside and I sent him to a radio-receptive part of the hospital grounds to organize some recon for stray Boneys. He told me that Nora was on her way, apparently Kevin having decided she wasn't required for any further questioning. When she arrived, she didn't say anything - just hugged me, paced along with me for a while, then drew me firmly to sit down before I even realized my damn boots had given me blisters. I drank the lukewarm black coffee she gave me automatically but I couldn't eat anything. I saw her sneak a packet of carbtien into my second cup. A nurse came out after two hours to confirm my fears that R had two more bullets inside him and they were going to remove them too, prolonging the original surgery.
Dad came back, spoke briefly to Nora and I - he was short with Nora - and reported that there were no longer any Boneys to be found in the city. The Corpses who had aided us were being bunked for the night in halls, headquarters and a factory only being half used, and some of them were starting to display more human attributes - eating, talking, reaching out to one another.
"You were right, Julie, and I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm going to sent parties out to make contact with any further Corpses ready to make the change, and fight more Boneys. They'll be soldiers and our new allies in those parties." It was great news... I just wished R was here to listen. I sent Dad back to headquarters - he hated being inactive. I got that from him.
"I wonder how long it'll take to spread - the cure." Nora leaned back in the chair beside mine, pushing another coffee into my hands. "Do you think we'll ever get back to how we were?"
I knew she meant people as a whole, not the small group that I called family and friends. But still, I pictured her and me and Perry and Kevin a year ago. Perry still happy, without the burdens he'd carried right to his grave. Kevin more carefree and less of a twit, before he shouldered too much responsibly. Me... well, me naive, longing for a world beyond the wall without a thought to what the cost might be. And Nora... well, Nora never really changed. It was just one reason why I loved her.
"No, Nora. It won't be like it was. We'll do things differently. We'll be different." Nora held my hand, and we sat in silence, waiting for news.
"Miss Grigio? He's out of surgery. It all went well - come on, we've found him a room. This way." I bowed my head, half in relief and half because the exhaustion I was fighting was catching up with me. R, wheeled by on the trolley still out cold, was stitched up and still looked pale. I held his hand again, and after Nora pulled a chair for me into R's tiny room, I fell asleep holding it.
He didn't wake up the next day. Nora came again in the late afternoon and Dad dropped by with more progress reports. Nora suggested I get a nurse to check a purple-coloured bruise that had appeared on my arm but I waved her off. I didn't really feel any pain from my minor scrapes from the battle. Instead I fretted about R, obvious to the buzz of activity when nurses came and went. Still over-tired from yesterday, I fell asleep sometime in the evening, half in my chair with my upper body resting curled on the bed by R.
I didn't open my eyes once until I heard the knock at the door. I checked on R, who's hand was underneath my face as I lay propped up on his narrow bed. His chest rose and fell peacefully, but he didn't show any signs of waking. Nora must have left after I'd fallen asleep last night since it was just him and me.
A familiar face was standing on the other side of the door. "Julie." He greeted me, then smiled a rusty smile and held out his hand. "Didn't.. intro-duce. My name is... M. Or now it's... Marcus."
I reached out for Marcus's hand. He felt the same temperature as R had when I'd hugged him on my doorstep - not quite human-warmth yet, but getting there. "Marcus." I repeated, and there was pride in the way he squared his shoulders and nodded. "Come in and see R. He hasn't woken up yet."
Marcus peered at R and grunted. 'He looks... terrible." He snorted. I had a feeling Marcus and Nora would get on famously. "He okay?"
"He will be." I believed it, looking down at how peacefully R lay - sleeping, not passed out. Karl, his doctor, wasn't sure how long it would take his body to respond to surgery and anesthesia. He was the most advanced of the Corpses in the rejuvenation stage, so there was no precedent. Karl had warmed me it could take a while for him to take up, and told me multiple times not to worry.
Don't worry, yeah right. It isn't his boyfriend lying in that hospital bed, potentially dying just as he got his chance to live.
"Marcus, can I ask you something?" He turned his greyish eyes to me. "Did you know R... before?"
"Before... airport? No. R turned up... one day. Coul-dn't say how long, time... difficult." Marcus waved a hand a little stiffly. "Was always... a good, friend, loyal." He gave R's shoulder a clumsy pat. "Things are... better now, Julie. Thank you... for... giving him, a chance." He was serious, something I thought Marcus might not be too often. But I nodded, and even reached out to give his hand a quick squeeze. I hoped that R would wake up then, see the threads of co-operation spreading further than just him and me, but his eyes remained closed. Marcus told me he'd come back to visit soon.
As the morning faded into afternoon a nurse came in to check on R, assuring me that he was recovering really well and it was likely the fact he hadn't woken up yet was due to his body still adapting. The second nurse was grimmer and snapped single-word answers to my questions, vanishing out of the room rapidly. I made an impolite gesture after then, then turned back to R to ran my hand over his forehead, smoothing his unruly hair down. "I'm here, R. All the craby nurses in this hospital won't change that. Wake up soon." I pleaded. "You promised, remember?"
About an hour later, I thought I felt him stir. I snapped back to attention, my head lifted from the side of his hospital bed to scan him anxiously. He looked the same as before I'd dozed off - pale, faint scars, dark shadows under his eyes. "R?" I asked softly, standing up so I could see his face properly.
He shifted very slightly, then his eyes opened. Familiar but unfamiliar eyes. "Julie?" He asked hoarsely.
"R. You're awake, it's so good to see you." I was so happy see finally see him responding I couldn't stop grinning. It couldn't have fooled R that much, since he caught my hand weakly and blinked up at me. He never used to blink much as a Corpse - like the still surprising bright blue of his eyes, it was a welcome change. "You l- look tired." The concern in his voice touched me. Here he was, after being shot (not to mention coming back to life) and it was me he was worried about.
"I've been here for two days. You took a long time to recover after your surgery." I carefully brushed his collarbone, where a surgical bandage was visible.
"Surgery? They d-did surgery... on me?" He looked a bit lost and my worry returned full force. The effort it took him to speak, the tired lines around his face - he hardly looked any better than before he'd woken up. I think a childish part of me had wanted him to leap out of bed and sweep me off my feet, magically better again the way he'd shrugged off bullets when he'd been Dead. This bedridden, exhausted and injured R was a difficult concept to grasp. "They took the bullet out. You remember what happened, right?"
"Boneys, soldiers, fight-ing. The plane. Yyy-ou, mostly." He flashed me a smile, and that was what did it. I began to cry, alarming R. "Hey. Julie?" He reached for my face, and the way his fingers fit along my cheekbone calmed me slightly, assuring me that he wasn't going anywhere. "J-Julie? Tell me - what's - wrong?"
It took me several attempts and another gentle touch, like a nudge of encouragement, from R before I could answer him. "What's wrong is that you nearly died. You only just... just... you're alive now. You have to stay that way."
"Ju-lie." His voice was stronger, even if it was shaky. "I'm not dying. I'm living. Because of you." It was impossible not to believe him, the words like a physical remedy of relief. "You restarted my heart. It's yours. If..." He froze for a moment, looking almost as scared as me the past few days. "If you want it."
If I wanted it?! I made a half-tackle onto his bed, as best I could without landing on top of him and hurting him, and hugged him. "You're such a cheeseball. Yes." He hugged me back and we kissed briefly, a sweet little echo of the passion from the fountain. R wrapped his long arms around me, shifting over as best he could to make room for me on his tiny little bed. Having to lie pressed up against him wasn't something I was about to argue, though I was careful not to put any weight on him.
"Are you okay?" I thought it was another comment on my tired looks - I could have used some of Nora's makeup about now - but R had found the bruise Nora had commented on yesterday. "A few bumps from our impromptu wrestling match with the Boneys. Don't try to make me out to be the hurt one, you have the bullet wound." I put my head on his good shoulder. For a while he was quiet, and I wondered if he'd gone back to sleep, since I couldn't see his face from here. Then he posed a question. "Nora? M?"
I propped my elbow on his pillow so I could see him as I replied. "Both okay. Nora was here last night, and Marcus this morning. He remembered his name on his way here." R gave a small, tired smile at that.
"He's close to coming back to life, too, according to the doctors. Nora got locked up for the rest of the night for threatening Dad, but Kevin let her out in the morning. To be honest, I was kinda glad it kept her out of trouble that night. Dad opened the city to the Corpses, though that term doesn't really fit anymore, who helped us fight off the Boneys. He's led two trips already out into the Dead Zone to fight off the Boneys and find more almost-Living."
R began to nod off a while after I finished explaining. I enjoyed the simple happiness I got from watching him, cute and sleepyheaded, even opening his mouth in a small yawn. "Hey Julie? I think... I'm tired."
"That's not surprising. Go to sleep, R. I'll be here." I stroked his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Promise."
His head slumped down against mine, so that I could feel the light touch of his breath on my face. My tense muscles had relaxed, finally, my mind at peace. My eyes closed, and in the few seconds before I fell asleep I reveled in the sensation of R at my side, his heartbeat steady against my elbow.
You could wake up and find all this is a dream, the unwanted cynic in my head informed me.
No. I might need him, but the world needs us. There's so much more we have to do.
How can you be so sure?
Because there are some things in life that you just know. Now shuttup. I'm going to sleep - and just you see. R will be there when I wake up.
A/N - Thanks so much for all your reviews everybody! We've only got one last chapter of this fanfic, and then I'm on to 'Next to Me' and don't worry - I'll begin writing it straight away.
I have another question for you all, hopefully some of you are American or know a bit more about the country and its cities - this is where my Aussie upbringing is falling short. Where exactly do you think Warm Bodies is set? I figure it has to be somewhere American, because both Nick and Teresa do American accents. I know it was filmed in Montreal, but I get the feeling it isn't set there - not just because of the accents, but Jonathan Levine specifically mentioned that ariel shots of the city in the movie were digitally altered so it wasn't an exact carbon copy of Montreal. Why do that if you were making the setting Montreal?
-Cough- You all know by now I get carried away. Thoughts appreciated!