(Yeah, it's short. Sorry. Does anyone have any more ideas? Don't own, just the fic.)

Lolita put her head in her hands. "I really did not want to write another one of these." She bitched to the Umbreon sitting next to her. He flicked his tail. "Suck it up. Do you really want to see more Sue-stories?!" The girl shuddered.

"Fuck no. Alright, let's go; the class is waiting indoors." They stepped inside, to where an incredibly nervous and twitchy group of writers stood. Lolita sighed. "Relax. The deaths were all accidental." It didn't help much.

"Okay. Sues. So, the first thing I want to cover is pure pokemon fics. OC is a pokemon, I mean. Being a Sue in this category is kinda hard to do, but... for starters, lose a fight once in awhile, just like with trainers. If they've got a naive personality, make it humorous. Like, 'Oh no, the monster won't hurt us; he just needs hugs!'

And a good sarcastic friend to balance them out is necessary. And if they're a band of wild pokemon, describe a trainer coming across them. Like, it'd be pretty surprising if you ran across a group of wild pokemon, how'd you feel?"

They nodded. A girl waved her hand. "Uh, what about accidental captures?" Lolita shrugged. She thought for a second, changed the song on her ipod, and then said, "Well, okay. But make it a regular catch. Not 'OMG I caught A shining MeW!1!11" She shuddered.

"If you use one in self-defense, cool. But the pokemon you caught is gonna be pissed. So explain that. How does the pokemon feel?" A boy with greenish-black hair asked, "What about an Eevee evolution team?" Lolita looked sheepishly at the fifty-odd Eevee evolutions milling about the house.

"Uh... okay, if you have ONE Eevee at the start, and then just breed that Eevee. And if you're in Sinnoh, use the Trophy Garden. That could work. But make is a very difficult effort to get SIX GODDAMN EEVEES.

By the way, don't forget; save your money to get stones for Vaporeon, Flareon, and Jolteon. And if you choose to use Leafeon/Glaceon, make sure you travel to the appropriate area. If you're not in Sinnoh, think of another place. Like, make up a new stone. Seriously, you got a better idea?" She popped a piece of gum.

"Oh, and by the way... if you fight a gym leader with one pokemon you've trained obsessively, okay. Just make it type-advantage. Like, if it's Brock, but you picked Charmander, teach your Charmander Metal Claw." A girl raised her hand.

"Uh, what about being the grandkid of a professor? If you don't share their last name, or get super powerful pokemon..." Lolita nodded. "What the hell, why not. If it's Oak, however... I advise you to be careful. Gary... well, he's Oak's grandson. And family lines that just pop up out of nowhere are dangerous.

If you set it about fifteen years or so into the future, then it's not gonna matter, because s/he'll be old enough to go on a pokemon journey, and Oak may still just be alive." A boy raised his hand.

"What about Legends like Mesprit? Ones that run?" Loli shrugged. "Whatever. Check the section on actual Legends being captured; it's pretty much the same. But remember, only one shot." She thought. "Okay, well... on canon... I forgot to mention this.

Unless it's a Legend that runs, play your game and figure out what pokemon are in which area. It may seem like common sense, but suethors with ambition or laziness, will stick an Espeon in Lavaridge. Or a Ninetales in Slateport. Yeah." She drummed her fingers on the desk. "Well, I think that's it for today. I'll see you all later!"

As they rushed out, she grumbled, "When I fucking feel like updating."