Chapter Nine
"Tony, do you think you deserve what Cobb did to you?" Rachel asked him.
She had made daily visits and told Gibbs that it was coming along better than she thought. From the kitchen, Gibbs could hear them talk. Gibbs could see progress and with every step forward, he saw the DiNozzo walls also returning. He could tell that Tony was angry with himself for failing to fight Cobb better. It was stupid, but Gibbs could understand. DiNozzo was a lot like him and they were supposed to handle anything that came their way.
"No, no one deserves that, but I should have lasted longer," he said. "I mean I was only abused physically once or twice as a kid after mother my died and my father lost it, but mental abuse, well, I grew up with that. I've dealt with that my whole life. I should have been able to handle mental abuse."
"Tony, you're not Superman," said Rachel.
"I know I'm not Superman. I learned that long ago," he growled.
Ziva opened the back door and entered the kitchen carrying a box full of Chinese food. Gibbs took it from her and placed it down on the counter. He had hoped Ziva would have taken longer because he didn't want her to hear any of DiNozzo's talk with Rachel.
"Tell me about that," she said.
Gibbs placed his fingers to his lips to make sure that Ziva didn't talk.
"I first learned I wasn't Superman when I blew my knee out and lost a chance at a pro basketball or pro football career. It was then that I decided to become a cop," he said.
"The Kid from Baltimore," she said.
"I couldn't save his sister but I saved him, so I went got my master in criminology while I rehabbed my knee. My football coach put me on his staff, so I went to school for free and rehabbed with the team. He knew I needed the handout because I had been disinherited by my father. You see I had to tell them about that in order to get my scholarship. It was humiliating telling them that I was broke even though my father lived high off the hog. But I got my BA and my Masters and my father never helped me," explained Tony.
"Kate never knew you had a masters," said Rachel.
"I know. Only Gibbs knows and personnel. I need a masters to become a NCIS agent. They changed the rules a few years after Gibbs joined. I graduated second in my class at the academy just like I graduated third in my class at FLETC. In other words, I did better than anyone expected. I even took profiling courses at Quantico," said Tony.
"You don't use those skills too often, do you?" asked Rachel.
"I like others do it. You see I am expected to do certain things and certain things only. When it was just Gibbs and me for a while I did more, used more of my skills, but once we got Kate, she was a profiler, Probie was a techie, and then Ziva, well, she profiles, too. As the team grew, I let others have their playpen," said Tony.
"You put on masks and put up walls," said Rachel.
"I survived," he said, "until Cobb. He got past my defenses."
"And that angers you," said Rachel.
"Of course, it pisses me off. I should have been stronger than that," he said.
"Tony, he tortured you mentally and physically for five months. Don't be so tough on yourself," said Rachel.
"Rachel, I should have done better," said Tony.
"You survived. You should be proud of that," Rachel said. "Give yourself a break."
"I don't deserve one," he said.
"Yes, you do," said Rachel.
Gibbs could sense that Tony was at his breaking point. He grabbed a carton of Steak and Peppers and chopsticks and headed into the living room.
"DiNozzo, I've got some Steak and Pepper for you," Gibbs said.
He walked over and handed Tony the carton of food and chopsticks. Gibbs then turned and looked at Rachel. His expression told her that it was over for today.
"Lo Mein?" he asked.
"Sure," she said.
"Ziver, Lo Mein for Dr. Cranston," he called.
Tony put his carton down and stood up.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom," he said.
He turned and rushed up the stairs to the second floor. Gibbs watched him the whole time. Once they heard the bathroom door slam, Gibbs turned to speak.
"He's angry. I understand that Rachel" he said. "This I can help him with."
Ziva came into the room with the food for Rachel. She hands it to her the waits and listens.
"He won't build things and drink bourbon, Gibbs," said Rachel.
"I know that," said Gibbs. "He'll be angry at himself, but he'll take it out on all of us. I know how that is. I know how bitterness can feed that anger. I can help him."
"How?" asked Rachel.
"I can kick his ass," he said.
NCIS
The Pentagon was the hub of the US military. For the SecNav it was just another stop of his lists of stops during a long day. He stopped there in the morning and did his meetings then left for meetings to return by six for the end of the day. It was six o'clock when the SecNav's SUV pulled up in front of the Pentagon.
One of the security detail with the SecNav got out of the SUV behind his and rushed up to the SecNav's SUV and opened the door for him. Davenport got out of the vehicle.
"Thank you," said Davenport.
He took a deep breath as two more of his security detail joined him.
"Gentlemen, dinner is on me after I wrap up here," he said.
Cobb was just under a mile away. He had a Barrett M82, bolt-action fifty-caliber sniper rifle. He checked his wind gage and took aim at the SecNav.
"I'm thinking either Thai food or Italian," he said. "Which do you prefer?"
"You're the boss, sir. Your choice," said the head of the security detail.
"Good answer," said Davenport.
It was just then that his head exploded like a watermelon being hit by a hammer followed by the pop sound of the rifle being fired. The security detail reacted immediately calling for backup and a grid search but all that was the rifle in Cobb's sniper next. One victim down and one to go.
NCIS
Vance called Gibbs and his team in for a conference. With the death of the SecNav, NCIS was tasked with assisting the FBI with capturing Cobb and Gibbs was his best investigator. Since there was no way he was leaving Ziva alone to guard Tony, Gibbs had them come with him. When they arrived at NCIS, Tony became sullen and silent. Gibbs had Ziva take Tony to Ducky then had her check on EJ, since Davenport was her uncle.
Getting into the elevator wit Tony Ziva stopped the elevator before they got to Ducky's level. He kept his eyes cast down staring at the floor.
"You are angry," Ziva said to him.
"Hmm," was his answer.
"Are you angry with me?" she asked.
He didn't answer.
"Cobb sent up a video stream of what he did to you. I watched as he talked to you about me and Ray. I know that bothered you, so I ask again – are you angry with me?" she asked.
Finally, Tony looked up and stared at her. His sea green eyes were dark with anger. Ziva stared back at him. She was going defiantly to get an answer from him.
"Tell me – are you angry with me?" she demanded.
"I'm angry with myself."
"That is silly. You did nothing," she said.
"Exactly," he growled.
"Tony, Cobb is a monster. There is nothing you could have done. It is amazing that you didn't try to Vance. You fought what he had done to you and you won," said Ziva. "You won, Tony."
"I loss, Ziva. I didn't win. I loss me," he said.
She saw sadness now mix with the angry. Slowly, she reached up and touched his face. When the skin of her hand made contact with the skin of his face, he flinched. Ziva's heart cracked at the thought that her touch caused him pain. She pulled her hand away.
"I need you to know this, Tony. I don't love Ray. I discovered this when you were taken. When you were gone, I realized that I can't live without you, either. I love you," she said.
"Don't. I'm not worth it," he said softly.
"Yes, you are. You shall see," she said then started up the elevator again.
In silence, they walked into autopsy. Ducky was making a pot of tea and Jimmy was gone.
"Ahh, Ziva and Anthony. I sent Mr. Palmer to get us scones, Anthony. We are going to have tea," said Ducky.
"You don't have to go out of your way, Ducky," said Tony.
"Yes, I do. You are my friend," said Ducky. "Ziva, Jethro called and asked that you go see EJ."
"I'll go now, Ducky," she said then turned and left.
"Sit, Anthony," said Ducky.
Tony sat down at the chair beside Ducky's little desk. Ducky poured them each a steam cup of Earl Grey Tea. He then added cream and sugar to Tony's tea.
"How has your talks with Dr. Cranston been going?" she asked.
"Fine," he said.
"Anthony, I know you. When you have to talk about yourself, it is far from fine," said Ducky. "How are you doing?"
"Angry, Ducky. I'm angry," he said.
"First, let me tell you something, you should be. You should be angry at Cobb, at what he did to you, at the pain and humiliation he caused you, but you should not be angry at yourself. You are a victim. Don't be angry at you," said Ducky.
"I couldn't fight him," said Tony.
"But you did, Anthony, and once you've recovered from this horrific experience you will have defeated him," said Ducky.
"Defeated him," repeated Tony.
"Oh, yes, and once you realize that you'll be ready to go back to work and catch the bastard," said Ducky.
"Do you really think so, Ducky?" he asked with hope in his voice.
"I know it, Anthony," said Ducky.
NCIS
"Fornell has nothing. The man took the shot from a mile away with a Barrett sniper rifle, a 50 caliber," said Vance.
They sat at his conference table. Gibbs sipped at coffee.
"He'll want to be up close and personal with he kills Cruz," said Gibbs.
"Cruz is a safe house under guard by the FBI," said Vance.
"Too bad they won't let us use him as a goat to catch the lion," said Gibbs.
"I know," sighed Vance. "Then there is me."
"You're safe, Leon. DiNozzo was supposed to kill you, but he didn't. Cobb is going to let you be until he can get hold of DiNozzo again. He'll want his protégé to kill you," said Gibbs.
"You seem to understand Cobb," said Vance.
"I've finally got a sense of his style. He'll want DiNozzo back," said Gibbs.
"We won't let him have him," said Vance.
"Over my dead body," said Gibbs.
"How is DiNozzo doing?" asked Vance.
"It's rough for him but he's resilient. He's had to be with his life. He'll be fine, Leon," said Gibbs.
"Do you need extra security? EJ has asked for time off. She wants to spend it with her family. I have the feeling she'd like to forget about Cobb. He's taken a lot from her," said Vance.
"Ziva and I can handle it," said Gibbs.
"Even though I want you to work with the FBI to find Cobb," said Vance.
"Keep Cruz hidden and safe and Cobb will come to us, Leon," said Gibbs, "and I'll be waiting."
"Sounds like Cobb won't stand trial," said Vance.
Gibbs smiled and took a sip of his coffee. He stood up.
"I'm going to find Ziva and grab DiNozzo then go home. Stay frosty, Leon," said Gibbs.
"You, too, Gibbs," said Vance.