Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Ten

As Aaron and Hazel sat in the busy A and E waiting area, waiting for news on Jacksons condition, their eyes scanned the room… wondering what happened to the man with the bandage round his head and what happened to the woman who was heavily pregnant and wearing only one shoe as her foot was the size of a melon, there conversation bland at the thoughts of what was happening.

The mood in the air was very sombre, neither one paying much attention to the other

Suddenly Hazel chipped in.

'Aaron? Did you write that letter? You know…like we talked about?

'Yep'! Came the reply

'And?' hazel asked, confused at how Aaron was feeling but annoyed that he felt he couldn't open up to her, as their relationship had seemed to go from strength to strength just as much as his and Jacksons had seemed to be going, but let's face it if he couldn't open up to Jackson, how could he open up to his boyfriends mum?

'And what?' snapped Aaron as he couldn't help but wonder what was happening to his lover

'What did you put down? I mean did you put on paper what you feel? I don't wanna know the ins and outs because that's none of my business' enquired Hazel

'yeah your right it is none of your business, but for your information I have wrote it down, but i hardly make sense when I talk so what chance is there of me making any sense on paper?' barked Aaron, clearly hurting for Jackson, and annoyed at Hazel for interfering

'Look Aaron I know I'm not your mum but there are a lot of people who do genuinely care about you, Your mum does even though she doesn't show it, Paddy, Rhona, even me but I need to be straight with you, Jackson is so in love with you that it hurts him so bad, and the other night when you had the argument, he was devastated that you couldn't put is feelings first for a change, that you didn't even consider how he was feeling, all he wanted was for you and him to have a great night out as boyfriends should, but instead you bring out the tough man act and spoil it! Aaron we know you have had a hard life and I can't even begin to imagine how tough it has been for you, even Jackson will never be able to understand the things you have had to go through…but you need to stop living in the past otherwise it will make your future follow suit, and you need to start letting people in Aaron, you need to let Jackson in, otherwise he's just going to think you don't trust him, and no relationship can last without trust'

Aaron listened to Hazels word and found his eyes welling up with tears

'yeah that's right , you will never know what I've had to go through and the other night when I saw that prick mickey all I wanted to do was go over and kick. His. Fucking. Head. In, get some satisfaction at seeing him hurt the way I did when his dog killed mine, and anyway who died and made you Trisha I don't seem to remember coming to some counselling session?'

Hazel sat back and let Aaron vent his anger, it was better than directing it to Jackson or Paddy who she was becoming increasingly fond of

'What you feeling at this moment? Asked Hazel

'What's sort of a question is that?' replied Aaron

'Exactly what I asked you! What is going through your head right now, this minute?'

'Well apart from wanting you to shut up, I'm thinking about how Jackson is, what's happening to him, what are the doctors dong to him?'

'So are you worried about him?' asked Hazel trying to get a positive response for the direction she wanted to the conversation to go, trying to take her mind off her own worry and fear

'Course I'm worried about him, I love him!' spat Aaron

'So… you do love him then? Well put yourself in Jacksons shoes for one minute Aaron, say you did kick that mickeys head in, and his friends came to give you a little pay back, only with bats or knives or guns, if that was you in there how do you think Jackson would be feeling? If you were being placed on life support before being rushed in for an op to try and save your life, now think of having to feel like that every time you try and get even with someone, that fear has to be pretty intense Aaron and pretty damn hard to deal with when it's someone that you love dearly! And why can't you just tell him you love him? That's all he wants hear from you Aaron, I love you!'

As Aaron sat and listened to the words coming out of Hazels mouth, he began to see it, how Jackson must be feeling, Christ if he himself was feeling like this at the current situation, how must Jackson feel every time there is talk of violence, and settling scores, he must be absolutely terrified! The two friends sat for about fifteen minutes in silence, when Aaron looked at Hazel and said

'I've told him…in the letter… I've told him I love him and I want to try and work things out together, as a couple.'

As he reached into his inside pocket of his jacket to give Hazel the letter, he began to panic, he couldn't find it, he frantically searched his other pockets desperately trying to find the letter that opened up his heart and lay his emotions bare.

'What's wrong?' Hazel asked seeing the distress on the young lads face

''the letter I can't find it, it must of dropped out my pocket when I was at the cottage or when I was getting in the ambulance, AH FUCK! Hazel, he'll never know now!

'Don't worry Aaron you will find and if not I'm sure you will be able to write another one' Hazel tried to reassure Aaron

Just as the Hazel finished speaking they heard

'Relatives of Mr Jackson Walsh'

As the two stood up and made their way to the door where the nurse was standing, they both started asking question and overwhelmed by their sheer worry and angst, the nurse laughed slightly and said

'whoa one at a time please, come on I'll take you through to see him and explain what's going on…but please be prepared we have had to place Jackson on life support and ventilate him, for his safety only, he's gotta condit….wait can I just ask who you are first please?'

'I'm Hazel Rhodes, Jacksons Mum'

'And I am Aaron Livesy his…'

The nurse cut Aaron off

'His boyfriend, yeah I know Steve and Neil told us about you when they brought him in said they thought it was actually really sad and heart-breaking how upset you were and shows how much you two must be in love'

Aaron looked at hazel and blushed slightly realising that if others can tell and are not bothered by it why should he be?

'Right Mum and Aaron' claimed the nurse

'Jackson came in via ambulance because he collapsed? Right? So, basically he has a problem called Pericarditis, this is an infection and accumulation of fluid in the layer of the heart called the Pericardium, which is treat with strong IV anti-biotic anti-inflammatory drugs and a device called a Pericardial Drain, basically a tube that goes into his heart to drain the fluid off, the reason he's ventilated is because during the procedure of having the drain inserted under local anaesthetic, he got a bit anxious and had a panic attack his breathing became erratic, he went into respiratory distress which in turn lead him to develop a pneumothorax, which is a part of the lung collapsing, this lead him to develop what's known as respiratory acidosis, which is too much carbon dioxide in his blood and not enough oxygen as the lungs are not able to regulate how much to filter in and out'

'Wait… too much carbon dioxide? Not enough oxygen? Does that mean he could die?' asked the concerned mother

'we caught it pretty quick to be honest and because he's ventilated, we are controlling how much carbon dioxide and oxygen is going into his body, that and he's a fit, healthy 21 year old lad should mean he has everything going in his favour, 'm' not saying bad things couldn't happen, so just be prepared!'

'So how long will he be on the ventilator and how long will he have that peri…card…'

'Pericardial drain' the nurse said finishing Aaron's sentence, slightly impressed that for a young lad he appeared to be taking the situation in his stride

'well he'll be ventilated for as long as his lungs take to re-inflate and his carbon dioxide levels go back to normal and he'll have the drain in for a few days to drain the fluid off the heart, we'll be taking him to ITU soon so you can go and see him if you want?'

'Okay, thank you so much for explaining what's going on!' stated the very distraught mother

As the nurse made her way back to the nurses' station, Aaron and hazel looked at each other

'Do you want to go in first? Alone? I'm sure you don't want me breathing down your neck?' Asked Hazel, sympathetic of Aarons needs and feelings, but protecting of her own

As Aaron stood in the corridor taking everything into perspective he looked at Hazel, well he tried to, he could barely see through the tears that where now flowing out his eyes

'No…I …I…I can't go in there alone, can you come with me' sobbed the teenage lad

'Hey, hey, hey come here, course I'll come in with you, and I'm going to be there for you Aaron, but we have to think positive for Jackson' said Hazel as she pulled Aaron into a tight hug enveloping him with love and tenderness

'Where not going to lose him okay'

Aaron felt safe in Hazels arms but it was hard for him, all he could smell was the soap powder that reminded him of Jackson, a scent of Jacksons aftershave that lingered on hazels clothes from where she had cradled her boy in her arms till the paramedics came, and all Aaron wanted to think about was how he would love to be in Jacksons arms, cuddling on the sofa watching a DVD or just lying with his head on Jacksons bare chest, arm around his waist in their own little bubble talking about their day, instead. he was thinking he may never get those moments again, he may lose to stand the one person he truly loved, the one person who truly loved him and why? All because he was unable to say I love you.

A/N please leave reviews and comments on how your finding the story so far!