Wow I really need to stop promising people that I will update quickly because I never do and in fact when I do promise that, it actually just takes me an even longer time to update. So yeah, definitely no more promises of fast updates.

Oh and also, if any of you are reading my other fic "This is not What I Planned" then I'm really sorry but I have to put it on hold because it is impossible for me to write two fics at a time. So I will have to finish this one first before I continue with that one. Sorry.

Chapter 10

Quinn sat in the dark room for at least another half an hour. She just sat there, alone with only her thoughts keeping her company.

She couldn't believe that she had called Santana a faggot. And Brittany too. She had called her two best friends in the entire world faggots! What kind of person did that?

She also couldn't believe that her secret was out. Sure it was only to one person and that one person was her best friend and she had promised to not tell anyone, but it was still out. Someone apart from herself knew that she was not only was gay but also in love with Rachel Berry. And that scared the shit out of her.

So she sat in the room, her thoughts making her head spin and her stomach flip uncomfortably. One moment she would be overcome with guilt over what she said to Santana and then next she would be scared stiff at the knowledge that somebody knew. She just wished she could make it all stop. Make the feelings stop, make her thoughts stop, make the time stop. She wanted to disappear, to run away from it all but she knew she couldn't, and so she gave herself a few more minutes before she sighed heavily and got up.

She stopped off in the bathroom to wash her face and make her look more presentable. If someone saw her now they would know for sure that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks were blotchy and her nose was running. She looked at herself in the mirror and cringed at the sight. I am such an ugly crier!

Sighing she turned on the tap and splashed cold water on her face, dabbing at her eyes and cheeks to try and get them to return to normal. She grabbed a tissue and blew here nose before looking back at her reflection. She at least looked a hair more presentable, though it was still pretty clear that she had been crying.

She decided that she couldn't do any better and so she left the bathroom and made her way back down to the basement.

When she got there she saw that they had stopped the game of spin the bottle and truth or dare or whatever it was called. Thank God!

Now they were all just dancing or goofing around, and Rachel was of course performing a song. There wasn't a stage in Puck's basement like there was in Rachel's and so she was resigned to performing on the floor, but it didn't seem to bother her. In fact she seemed to be enjoying herself very much and Quinn smiled as she watched her sing, and perform, Popular with Kurt.

She looked across the room and noticed Santana watching her. She couldn't bear to look at her, not after what she had said. Not with the knowledge that Santana knew about everything. She just couldn't deal with it. She could not bring herself to look at her into those knowing eyes. Those hurt, betrayed, knowing eyes. She couldn't face that, not now. She knew she would have to eventually, but not right that second, and so she moved her eyes away from Santana and made her way over to where Mercedes, Artie and Puck were talking and sat down next to Mercedes on the sofa.

"Hey girl where did you run off to?" Mercedes asked her.

Quinn smiled at the girl and shrugged her shoulders. "Nowhere, I just needed the bathroom."

"Yeah right, so that's why dashed off at the speed of light?" Artie asked, joining in on the conversation.

"Well yeah, I didn't want to pee my pants!" Quinn joked easily, though she was secretly starting to get uncomfortable. She didn't like it that they were asking her these questions or that they were insinuating that there was a reason why she had ran off. She just wanted them to drop it before she freaked out and got extra paranoid.

Puck laughed at that and added his two cents, "Yeah I totally get that! Once I was really drunk and I almost didn't realise in time, if you get me!"

"Ewww!" exclaimed Quinn and Mercedes together. Artie didn't say anything but he was sporting a rather disgusted expression.

"Anyway, I used the toilet and then I decided to stay up there for a while cause the music's good and it's actually pretty fun!" Quinn carried on with her lie.

"Really?" Artie asked, "I might go up and check it out then. Wanna come with Quinn?"

"Uhh no thanks, I kinda want to sit down and chill out for a while," she replied. There was no way she wanted to go up there and get cajoled into dancing with some idiots while she could be down here watching Rachel Berry sing and dance and laugh and have a good drunken time.

"Oh okay, what about you Mercedes? Puck?" he asked the other two.

They looked at each other and shrugged. "Yeah okay, I'll come up." Puck agreed easily.

"Homegirl is coming too!" Mercedes said as she stood up and laughed with Artie at the self-given nickname.

Quinn waved bye to them and once again turned her attention to Rachel who was taking a bow as she had just finished her performance. Quinn applauded her but didn't overdo it as she didn't want people eyeing her curiously.

"Hey Quinn!" Rachel shouted at her from across the room.

Oh no!

"Quinn! Come sing with me Quinn!" the brunette hollered at her.

She shook her head at Rachel. Quinn may enjoy singing but she didn't exactly enjoy putting on performances for everyone. She knew she wasn't the strongest singer and so she wasn't all that confident in performing in front of people.

Rachel was now making her way towards Quinn and smiling so brightly at her. When she reached the blonde she excitedly said, "Come sing with me Quinn."

Again Quinn shook her head. "No thanks, why don't you go sing a solo?"

Rachel's eyes lit up at the idea of performing a solo. It would be her third of the night. But she shook her head and explained, "No I wanna sing with you! We never sing together and it makes me sad."

She was now pouting at Quinn and the blonde could feel her resolve crumbling. Rachel and her damn pout!

"We've sang together before Rachel. Remember we did that mash up of I Feel Pretty from West Side Story and Unpretty by TLC?"

Rachel smiled happily at the memory of them performing that song.

"Yeah but that was for Glee, I wanna sing with you for fun!" she whined.

Quinn groaned as she could feel herself giving in to Rachel's pleas. She really didn't want to sing right now, not in front of everyone and not with Rachel while Santana was in the room, knowing how she felt. She just couldn't deal with it. But the look on Rachel's face; the silent begging, the pouty lips, the scrunched nose, the hope in her eyes. How could she possibly say no?

"Okay fine I'll si-" she started to say.

"No." the other girl interrupted her.

"What?" Quinn was confused, why was Rachel saying no now?

"I can see you don't really want to sing with me and I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."

"No I do, I was just hesitant because I'm nervous. But I do really want to sing with you," Quinn lied. She really didn't like the thought of hurting Rachel's feelings or letting her down in any way.

"Quinn it's okay. I'm not upset with you or anything," Rachel smiled at her reassuringly. "I just really wanted to sing with my friend, but I totally understand that you may not feel comfortable singing with me in front of all these people."

The way Rachel said it, as though she thought Quinn didn't want to sing with her was because she didn't want everyone to see her sing with Rachel. Like it was the Rachel aspect that would make her uncomfortable made her want to cry.

"It's not because of you. You know that right? That it has nothing to do with you or the thought of singing with you or anything like that. That isn't why I don't want to do this" she said sincerely, hoping that Rachel believed her.

"I know," the girl replied easily.

"Really? Because the way you said it…it was like you thought I was embarrassed of you or something and Rachel I swear that's not the case."

Rachel smiled at Quinn and placed her hand on Quinn's arm. "I know Quinn. I believe you okay? I know that that isn't what this is about. Sure a few months or even weeks ago I would have thought differently but not now. Not now."

Quinn searched Rachel's face, trying to see any signs that she was being untruthful, but there were none and so she smiled back at her. "Good."

"But I still want to sing with you. Not now and not in front of anyone else. Just you and me."

Quinn's mind went straight to dirty places when Rachel said "just you me" and she could feel herself blushing. She discreetly shook her head and tried to focus her mind back to the present.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I would honestly love that!" she replied sincerely, smiling widely at Rachel.

Rachel smiled back, just as wide and then went in for a hug that Quinn was wholly unprepared for.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed as Rachel nearly toppled her over.

"Sorry," the brunette muttered shyly as she pulled back from the hug.

"It's okay, I just wasn't expecting it. You usually warn people before you hug them!" Quinn explained. She had always found it funny how Rachel warned people that she was going to hug them. She did it with everyone, even Kurt. The only person she didn't do it with was Finn. She didn't know why the girl did it but she liked it. She liked that she was so quirky and odd and that she did things like announce to someone that she was going to hug them.

But the fact that she hadn't warned Quinn? Well that damn near melted Quinn's heart. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe Rachel just wasn't warning people anymore, maybe it was a mistake, but maybe, and oh god Quinn hoped this was the reason, maybe it was because Rachel felt comfortable around Quinn. Maybe she didn't feel the need to warn her; maybe she trusted her and felt like it was okay to hug her without warning. Sure it probably had nothing to do with that but Quinn was allowed to hope wasn't she?

"Umm anyway since you're not singing with me I think I'll go find someone else to sing with!" Rachel announced, dragging Quinn out of her head.

"Oh okay," she replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"What's wrong?" clearly she hadn't succeeded.

"What? Nothing!" she lied. She couldn't exactly tell her that she was upset because she had wanted Rachel to stay with her instead of running off and singing with someone else. Especially if that someone turned out to be Finn.

"Are you sure?" Rachel persisted.

Quinn smiled at the diva and replied honestly, "I would love it if you went and sang something. I missed all your other performances so I definitely want to make up for that."

It wasn't a lie. She really did want to hear Rachel sing and watch her perform. It was one of her favourite things to do and even though she may be disappointed that Rachel wasn't going to stay and talk with her, she would be more than happy to watch the girl put on one of her outstanding performances.

Rachel's face lit up at Quinn's comment and she smiled goofily. "Okay! You know I would never refuse an opportunity to perform and I would definitely never say no to someone's request to hear me sing. Let me just go find Finn so we can do a duet together."

"No!" Quinn shouted.

Rachel jumped and looked at Quinn in bewilderment.

"Uhm I mean, it's just that…uhh…well Finn doesn't look all that capable of singing right now. I mean he seems a little drunk and I doubt he would be able to sing with you without messing up somehow, because of how drunk he is and you don't uhh you wouldn't want that right? You wouldn't want your performance to be ruined like that!" she explained, blushing furiously at how stupid she sounded.

Rachel looked over to where Finn was and frowned when she saw that he was dancing, well she thought it was dancing but it was hard to tell with him, and laughing uncontrollably at something that Kurt had said. She sighed and nodded her head. "I suppose you're right. He does look rather intoxicated and while I too am rather tipsy I feel that he would not be able to perform in that state like I am able to do."

Quinn nodded her agreement and felt relief flood her body. Sure, Rachel and Finn singing a duet wasn't the worst thing in the world and it wasn't something that was rare either, but right now Quinn just did not feel like she could cope watching those two being all cute and couple-y.

"Okay well I've already sang with Kurt and Puck isn't here, I think I'll ask Tina to join me," Rachel told Quinn.

"Why don't you just sing a solo?" the blonde asked before Rachel moved towards Tina.

Rachel looked back at Quinn and seemed to think about it before replying. "Well I could do a solo but I thought that it would be nice if other people got to perform as well. Plus people get tired of my solos and I don't want to ruin the party!"

"I can honestly say that I don't know of a single person in the world who would get tired of hearing you sing a song Rachel," Quinn blurted out before thinking it through properly.

Rachel ducked her head shyly and smiled slightly before looking up at a very embarrassed Quinn. "You really mean that?" she asked.

"Uhh well yeah. I mean your voice is really…it's really special and mesmerising and beautiful and so yeah I don't think anyone in the world would get tired of hearing it. Even Santana and Mercedes, with all their complaining, don't really get tired of hearing you sing," Quinn told her, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible and not give away just how much she really loved hearing the girl sing.

Rachel looked at the blonde for a long time, long enough to make Quinn uncomfortable and have to fidget in her seat and look away from the piercing brown orbs a few times.

"Thank you Quinn. That…that was really really sweet!" she whispered.

Quinn didn't say anything; she just smiled at the brunette and shrugged as if to say "it's nothing".

"Okay well I guess I'm going to go and perform a solo now," Rachel said, breaking the serious and sincere feeling that was hanging around the two girls.

"Okay well enjoy yourself!" Quinn laughed and waved as Rachel made her way towards Santana and Brittany who were drunkenly singing song that no one recognised to one another.

Rachel chose her song from the collection and patiently waited for them to finish so she could have her chance to shine. When they were done she applauded them, even though they had been atrocious, and smiled warmly at both of them.

Brittany smiled back but Santana just rolled her eyes as they handed over the mic and went to get some more drinks.

"That was a beautiful song Brittany and Santana," Rachel lied into the microphone. "I know I have sang a few songs already tonight but I have it on good authority that no one gets tired of hearing me sing, so…" she left the end of the sentence hanging, trusting that everyone would get what she was saying.

"Whoever told you that is a liar hobbit!" Santana shouted from across the room.

Rachel simply ignored her and looked over at Quinn who was sitting where she had left her and said, "This song is dedicated to my good friend, Quinn Fabray and while it may not exactly be one of my favourites, it was the only appropriate one I could find to express my feelings right now. So here you are Quinn!"

The blonde choked on her drink and turned big hazel eyes on Rachel. The brunette just smiled a small sincere smile at her before moving to turn the music on.

Quinn watched, mesmerised and in shock, as the song began to play.

Did that really happen? Did Rachel just dedicate a song to me? It did didn't it? Rachel Berry just dedicated a song to me, to Quinn Fabray! In front of all these people, in front of her boyfriend! She is singing a song dedicated to me! I can't believe this is happening.

But it was happening. It really was. Rachel Berry was about to sing a song that she had dedicated to Quinn. The blonde was sure her heart was about to burst out of her chest and her smile was going to split her face. She didn't even know what song was playing; she couldn't even hear the music. All she could hear was Rachel's words, echoing through her mind again and again. "This song is dedicated to my good friend, Quinn Fabray. Dedicated. Good friend. Quinn Fabray"!

And then Rachel began singing and as always Quinn was pulled out of her thoughts and away from her surroundings and all she could hear and see and register was Rachel. Rachel singing the most beautiful song she had ever heard. Rachel singing for her, a song she had dedicated to her.

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you

Quinn knew this song; it was that Bruno Mars song. Quinn was hardly the biggest Bruno Mars fan, and she guessed neither was Rachel, but this was one of the only songs of his that she actually liked. And anyway, Rachel could have sang her a 50 cent song and Quinn would love it!

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Now that Quinn thought about it, this was a beautiful song. It was simple and it was quite cheesy, but it was beautiful. And the fact that Rachel would choose this song to sing to her? A song about how she would always be there for Quinn and she knew Quinn would always be there for her, because they were such good friends? It made Quinn want to cry. Happy tears of course!

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Every day I will remind you

The thought of Rachel singing to her as she fell asleep made Quinn's heart swell and her chest ache. The thought of being able to call Rachel when she needed help and Rachel would be there made Quinn smile and feel a weird sense of relief come over her. As though she had been waiting for this for so long; waiting for someone to say to her "I will always be here for you. No matter what. And you can call me if you need me, no matter where you are or what time it is or how much shit has gone on between us, I will always come to get you because we are friends and you can count on me." The blonde felt tears prick at her eyes and she blinked heavily a few times, forcing them away. She didn't want to seem upset by this, she wanted to smile and be happy and show Rachel that this meant the world to her.

She brushed away the few fallen tears and looked back up at the brunette who was looking right at her as she sang.

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go
Never say goodbye

She smiled at the girl and shook her head as if to say "I can't believe you did this!"

Rachel smiled back and then turned her attention to the "audience" as she continued to sing. Quinn kept watching her with a smile plastered on her face. Her misty eyes moved away from the diva for one second and she caught Santana watching her. This time she didn't look away. Did she still feel scared? Yes. Did she still feel guilty? Of course, she didn't think she would ever stop feeling guilty. But now, with Rachel singing a song dedicated to her, she felt just a little bit braver. Just a little bit more hopeful. And so she kept her eyes locked with Santana's, hoping that the girl wasn't so angry with her that she would snap at her or attack her, not that she would blame her. She just hoped that their friendship wasn't beyond repair.

A few seconds passed and Quinn began feeling a whole lot less brave. She was about to avert her eyes and accept that what she had done was unforgivable when she saw Santana's lips twitch upwards. It wasn't a smile but it was something. And Quinn would take it. She would take it with both hands and hold onto it for as long as she could.

She knew this didn't mean their friendship was fixed and she knew Santana was probably going to make her life hell for a couple of days, but it didn't matter because she had seen the twitch. She had seen the slight twitch of lips and the almost there smirk and she knew. She knew things were fixable. And so she smiled a small smile at the Latina before moving her eyes away, trying to show the girl that she understood. That she saw the peace offering but that she also knew that she had to give Santana her space and some time before things could be okay again.

She moved her eyes back to Rachel who had almost finished her song and she felt her face splitting smile come back. Santana didn't fully hate her and Rachel was singing a song dedicated to her. Things were going to be just fine.

As always please review and tell me what you thought because your reviews and your input are what keeps me going (thank you so much to every single person who takes time to review btw).

Also, I finished this at like 3:30am so if there are loads of mistakes I am really sorry!