In the middle of the night I hear the shower on and Severus is missing. I sit up noticing the bed in unusual disarray and it smells thickly of lust. Must have had another wet dream. Hell I'm not even surprised as pent up as he is. I hear the shower turn off and I wait for him to return.
He opens the door quietly while he uses a towel on his hair. The nightshirt is fresh and so are the boxers. Unlike the other sleep shirt this one is a short sleeved one. He tosses the towel to some corner of the room and looks up. When he notices me watching him he looks terrified.
It took a lot to get to this step. This isn't the first time I've seen him In his long sleep shirt. This isn't the first time I've seen the jagged scars on his wrist. The fear in his eyes says otherwise. He's frozen unsure of how to respond. He's caught between his normal cynical retorts or running.
"Don't look." He finally says. It comes out strangled. I stand up and step closer to him and that familiar fight or flight instinct fills his eyes. This is a pivotal moment. I can't look away. I back him into a wall and his breath comes out shaky. It would be erotic any other time.
"Don't be afraid." I need to remember how unstable he is. I can't come off to strong, but I can't appear detached. His eyes are watching me. I lace my fingers into his and he's to busy watching me to notice. I turn his hand so that I can see his wrist. Angry slashes line the top of the dark mark. I deliberately kiss each one. I go to the other arm and repeat the steps.
"Why are you doing this."
"Because I want to. Let me do this." I unbutton his shirt and he stops me nervously. He isn't even trying to conceal the fear.
"What are you doing now." His voice is frantic. I shush him.
"I promise I have no intentions of removing your boxers. At least not tonight. I will not do anything to hurt you. Give me a chance." Before I can undo another button his hands stop me.
"They get worse. I know you know that, but I do not want you to see them." I kiss his hands and push them to his sides.
"Severus, it will be okay." His eyes are clinched shut and I kiss his cheek. "Open your eyes. I want you to see what I'm doing." His face is flushed a healthy pink. When I remove the rest of the buttons he immediately shivers. From his upper left shoulder to his bellybutton zigzagging scars form barriers. He's still hesitant. I start at the shoulder.
"I know this one is my fault." He doesn't know how to respond to my admission of guilt. My tongue grazes the imperfection. I know his eyes are back closed, but I don't prompt him to open them again. His skin is cold and still slightly damp from the water. My tongue follows the road with open mouth kisses. His knees are shaking as if he will collapse any moment. My hand is on the outside of his thigh. He opens his eyes briefly when I pause. "I'm not going to take advantage of you." I separate his knees from each other and softly touch the burn on his inner thigh. This action startles him. "I know I teased you because of this one." I press my forehead against the blotchy skin. "I'm sure this hurt a lot."
"It wasn't a big deal. Just an accident." He's looking away. Not meeting my eyes. I kiss the spot three times.
"Don't lie to me Severus. I know this was done to you on purpose. And I know it hurt bad." I kiss the spot a last time before he has the chance to push me away. I try to turn him around and he fights me.
"Enough Black. I don't know what you're game is, and I'm not interested in finding out."
"Severus. I'm going to kiss every scar you have." I kiss his cheek then I kiss his chest. "I don't care how long I have to wait for you to turn around, take your time. Do whatever you have to in order to come to terms with this. I care about you, and I will show you." He doesn't have the energy to struggle against my hold.
"The ones on my back," He doesn't finish. I press my lips against his and he relaxes slightly. My hands relax on his hips. The nightshirt is pooled at his feet. I nip at his neck then pull away.
"Turn around for me." His face is paper white but he nods.
"You don't have to do this. Once I put the potion on they aren't noticeable." My tongue follows the 'F' carved into his back and he shivers. The 'a' is next and I pepper it with the same attention. I can see the slight tent in his boxers, and I can see the fear in his eyes. I dot the 'g' with feather light kisses before moving to the next word. His palms are flat against the wall in front of him while I show the same treatment to every carved letter on his back. "I don't want you to force yourself."
"I'm not." My arm wraps around his front and I softly stroke him through his boxers; his legs start shaking until I question if they can hold him up. I finish with his back and kiss the center one extra time. All the while I'm encouraging his hips to thrust into my hand. It doesn't take much encouragement he's already whimpering.
I pull my hand away and his legs immediately clinch shut. His mouth is tight and his ears are glowing.
"Come lay in bed Severus." He doesn't need any more prompting. He lets me continue kneading his erection through the thin cloth, but then he stops me.
"You won't. You promise that my boxers will stay on."
"I promise that I will not make you do anything." He nods quietly. I lift him into my lap and softly grind against him. He lays his head on my shoulder as his nails dig into my back. But I don't mind. My hands are on his hips encouraging him to return my movements. "Did you have a good dream love?" He nods into my shoulder. One of my hands tangle in his hair. "Tell me what it was about." His head shakes erratically. "Come on Severus. I'd love to hear about it. Was I in it." The nails dig deeper when he nods.
I can feel his erection sliding against mine and the need to kiss him is overwhelming. It takes a lot of coaxing to pull his head from it's hiding place. I lift his chin slowly to look him in the eyes. His lip is being bitten roughly to quiet any sounds. His eyes are hazy. But he lets me kiss him. I take the abused lip between my own and suck gently. As always he tastes like sugar.
His hips meet mine in need. I kiss him feverishly and when I pull away to breath I notice the still dark hickey on his neck. It only arouses me more. I lay him back against the bed and clime on top of him. He can't hide the fear. My calloused hand is rough against his cheek but he doesn't seem to mind.
"It's okay. If at any point you want me to stop just say so. I won't be mad." I kiss his chest where I can feel the pounding heart. I find his neck and create a few more reminders that he's mine, he does the same. His hand wanders between us and he presses his palms into my chest. I'm waiting for him to push me away, but he doesn't. His long skilled finger glide over my sweating chest and when the pad of his finger grazes my nipple I actually moan.
I'm not sure if this arouses or frightens the shaking potion professor under me. I softly bite his ear.
"What did you dream about?" I whisper. I hear him gasping.
"Embarrassing."
"You dreaming about me is erotic, I want to know what I did to you or what you did to me."
"Embarrassing." He mumbles again. I lift his legs and he wraps them around me. Instinctively I grind against his entrance to which he throws his head back and moans loudly. I bite down hard on his ear and then suck it into my mouth.
"I want to make you feel good. I want to live up to your fantasies. Tell me how to please you Severus." I latch onto his neck leaving a nice red mark.
"You were touching me." He starts slowly.
"Keep going." I don't look at his face because I know that would only make this more difficult for him.
"It wasn't the first time we had.. you know." I lick the new mark in encouragement. "You were fingering me and it felt good. I wasn't afraid." I kiss along his jaw line. "And then I was sucking you and you tasted good. I wanted to. You didn't make me do it." I kiss his jugular while softly sucking his Adam's apple. I can clearly see a wet spot from precum in his underwear and every part of me wants to lick it. I thrust against his entrance while his hands fling down to stroke himself. "And then you were inside me. And it felt so good. I was so full." His eyes are clamped shut and the faster he strokes himself the faster he talks.
"Do you want me to be inside you one day. When you're ready." He nods feverously.
"I was so happy. And I felt so safe and loved. Never felt like that before." My hand lays on top of his and I make him stroke himself faster.
"I love you Severus."
"No more." He says in-between moans. "Got to stop or I'll.."
"I want you to cum for me." I stroke him faster. "I want to make you feel good." His hips thrash erotically from pleasure. "And I want to make you feel happy." I can feel his dick twitch through the cloth. "And I want to make you feel loved." His breath comes out in gasps. "Because I do love you Severus." He screams slightly as his body spasms. Shallowly he thrusts into my hand as he rides the course of his orgasm. Still gasping I lay him back on the bed to watch his hips continue to spasm. "I love you Severus." I say while laying next to him. I kiss his temple. "It's late. We should go back to sleep." He looks at me and timidly looks down.
"You're still hard." He says quietly. I hear myself sigh.
"Yea. But I'm not going to ask you to do anything." I gently stroke his hair. "It's not a big deal." He's not looking at me.
"Are you sure." The words are whispered.
"Severus. Do you want to touch me." His mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out. The forth time he opens his mouth and then closes it back I pull his lips to mine. "Severus. I want you to touch me. It's been a long time since I was able to get off and I want you to make me feel good." His cheeks are already red. "But I don't want you to feel obligated or forced. I'm willing to go as slow as you want.
"I can touch you?"
"Severus. You're my boyfriend. Yes. You can touch me. As much as you like." His hands are shaking, but his eyes look eager. His first touch is hesitant. Half- hearted strokes. His thumb lazily circles outside of my underwear. They are too tight. I want to pull them down, but I don't want to startle him. His eyes are focused on his hands. My hand plays with his hair. "Severus, can I take my boxers off. They are really tight." I can see his ears glowing when he nods. His eyes stay closed as I slide the material off my hips. When he finally opens his eyes they look different. They are glazed over and entirely to enticing.
His hand grips me firmly and strokes me slowly. Entirely to slow but blessedly pleasurable. He's sitting on his legs. His long fingers feel amazing squeezing my shaft and slowing pumping me. He smiles slightly when I twitch in his hands. His hand is hypnotic. It slides up and down squeezing every so often. His thumb will circle the crown for a moment and then join the rest of his hand around my shaft. I watch him rub his index finger against the slit gathering up a little precum. I watch that finger softly press into his mouth. I watch his hand travel down to stroke his growing erection. His eyes close tightly for a moment and then his hand returns to stroking me.
I find myself thrusting involuntary, but he doesn't seem to mind. His erection slides against my leg as he strokes me faster. Occasionally he licks his lips or whimpers. His gliding hand is still to slow and before I can stop myself I'm groaning in need.
"Severus, please I need more." I close my eyes and lay back.
"Yea." He quietly says. He slides off of me to my dissatisfaction. I hear him breathing shakily and it only excites me further. I lay in bed with my eyes closed for a while with no movements. Just as I'm wondering if he will continue I feel a heat encircle my swollen dick. I don't bother holding back the moans. The pleasure is so intense I can't keep my eyes open. A flat tongue presses against my shaft while a hand holds my hips down.
"Severus." My hands grab any strands of hair I can. I can feel him moaning around my shaft. "Merlin your mouth is so hot." Holding my eyes open is a challenge, but every moment they are open I'm greeted with the image of thick long dark locks bobbing up and down. A while back I wouldn't have believed this could be Severus or that I would want it to be.
He takes my length entirely into his mouth and I can feel the back of his throat. I force my eyes open. I want to see this. I want to watch him. His eyes are clinched shut; his cheeks hallowed. His back is curved and I can clearly see the scars. His bottom is in the air, the boxers are gone. A very large toy is inside him though it's off. A remote lays innocently beside him. Even from my position I can clearly see his erection. He's long, though not very thick. He looks bigger than me. Though not by much. He whimpers occasionally.
My fingers softly press against his back encouraging him. When his tongue presses against my slit I see stars. Beside him I grab the remote and turn it to the second setting. It immediately whirls to life and slowly thrusts into him. The shock makes him gasp, but when moans accompany it I turn up the setting.
The toy thrusts wildly into him and every buzz has him whimpering and swallowing more of my dick.
"Fuck Severus. Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" I watch his ass twitch around the buzzing toy. "Your mouth is so hot. Your ass is so hungry to be filled." He whimpers as I talk. His dick twitches. "I'm going to fill you one day." I lay my hand on the back of his head encouraging him to take me deeper. He does. He lets me thrust into his mouth while his hand reaches back to fuck himself harder. "Are you always so horny. Or is it just for me. How many times have you pretended I'm the one fucking you." I pull his mouth away from my dick and kiss him hard. He opens his eyes and they are clouded with lust. "Fuck you're so beautiful." His eyes are wide and unbelieving. I pull him close to me and he wastes no time stroking us together. His long fingers easily grab both of our cocks and slide them together.
"Feels good." He moans out. He's spasming against me.
"Severus. I want to use the toy on you." He looks down and nods nervously.
"I trust you." He mumbles quietly. I kiss his head softly.
"Tell me if you want me to stop." His hips are narrow and feminine. He twitches when I grip the vibrator. "I love you Severus." I push it deep inside of him and pull it nearly out. I repeat this several times gaining speed. I slam it into him harder and harder as he strokes our cocks. I can feel it slamming his body against mine, but he doesn't protest. He starts meeting the thrusts and taking them full on. "I knew you'd be amazing in bed. You're so restrained. I knew you'd be insatiable." He's gasping.
"Can't help it. Wanted you. Long time." He screams slightly and I'm worried I did something wrong. "Again. There. Please." Those simple one word sentences might as well have been begging coming from him. His body goes limp against mine unable to stand up to the pleasure. I can feel gentle vibrations shaking all of his body. So close. "I'm gonna. Gotta stop. or I'll." I slam it in deeply and hold it against his prostrate. He whimpers sweetly. "Sirius. I'm gonna cum." He looks at me with lust filled eyes. Those dark expressive eyes beg me for release and I can no longer hold my own. I groan loudly while molding his body against mine. Reflexively I thrust against him while slamming the toy deeper inside of him in and out fast. "Sirius. Gonna." The sentence is left unfinished as his body shakes on top of mine. I feel our cum coating the lower part of our bodies. I rub his back softly while pulling the toy out of him.
He doesn't move for a while and it isn't until I hear soft content snores that I realize he's asleep.
"If this is you when you're nervous, I'm excited to see how you'll be when you're comfortable."