FMP Fan Fiction

Wo Futari De

by Esoteria

Chapter 9 (final)

Warning: This chapter contains explicit (not sexually explicit, just explicit) descriptions of romantic matter. Still very much PG-13, but it will not appeal to all readers. You have been warned.

----

Hmm… where is this? Wasn't I just here?

Kaname looked around a bit. Sun was pouring into the comfortable if unfamiliar room.

"What's wrong? Is something bothering you?"

The voice was familiar. She whirled around. "Sousuke?"

It was almost an exclamation, said with some incredulity.

He made a concerned noise. "You really are acting strange; perhaps you should lie down again."

Lie down again? She struggled to mentally catch up. Wait, this place was… this was the dream I was having… I think. Wait, if it's a dream, how am I…?

On reality's side, Kaname was feeling the force of her sleeping body trying to wake up.

No! I won't! She concentrated on her dream's environment. Don't give up, Kana! Get back in!

Once securely in the false world again, Chidori speculated. This must be that 'lucid dreaming' Kyouko was telling me about.

There would be time for analyzing her dream state later. Right now there was a blissful environment to be had.

"Kana?"

She jerked back suddenly. Not only was Sousuke much closer than he had been a moment ago, he had just called her "Kana." There was no more mistaking this for reality.

"Kana, you really aren't acting yourself…." A look of concern, accompanied by an odd confidence, came from Sagara.

"No… no, sorry, I'm fine." She was uncomfortable. It felt like she was talking to a different person.

There was a long pause.

"Could… could you call me… Chidori… again?" She added suddenly "Just for awhile! I… I don't know why…."

Sousuke's hand crept around her waist. He smiled at her knowingly. "Of course… Chidori."

The way he had said it made her gasp slightly. This confidence he had… it was fitting, somehow… showing that tactical coolness in another realm…. She felt his hand slide around the small of her back. He smelled good… very good. Kaname had already forgotten she was in a dream. She moved towards him under his hand's guidance. Her body came dangerously close to touching his. He was gazing at her, but she couldn't look back. It was too much. Her heart couldn't take this kind of stimulation.

"Hmm… I think I get it…," said he, while silently licking his lips.

"Get… what…?" Kaname's voice was sheepish, words were barely coming out. This was a level of anticipation she hadn't felt before. It was consuming her. She blushed red.

While her heart rate sped to unprecedented levels, Sousuke's hand left her waist, while his body stayed within centimeters of hers.

Just when her curiosity brought her to finally look up at him, Kaname felt her wrists bound. Suddenly, Sousuke had seized both her wrists. With a single motion she felt the room turn and her back hit the wall roughly. She was pinned, her right arm held near her ear, the other behind her back against the wall.

It was his trademark military precision. He had taken her totally off guard, and put her into a completely submissive position without giving her any time to react, and most impressive of all, without inflicting any pain whatsoever. Chidori looked back at the gaze of Sagara Sousuke, now more confident than ever. She bit her lip… what he would do next she had no way of knowing.

Sousuke drew nearer, his body brushing hers slightly; enough to make her involuntarily lean slightly forward.

"It appears I was right, Chidori." He spoke softly, but without any hint of error, and with intensity she'd never seen him show her. She saw his entire focus on her, not to be distracted by the sun pouring in from the side, or anything else in the room. She felt her self-consciousness driving her wild, knowing how he was looking at her. Somewhere deep in side she knew how strange and unnatural this circumstance was, but Sagara had so wholly entranced her that she could not pull out of the feeling. Eagerness took over once more as she asked herself. Why won't he do it? Why won't he just hurry up and kiss me! He knows that's what I want!

"S—Sousuke… I… Nnn…." She resisted his grip to no avail. She pulled away from the wall towards him, stretching ever closer but never quite close enough to meet his lips.

This is exactly what he wants… he wants me to beg for it… to make me tell him I want his kiss….

It would be infuriating if it weren't intoxicating. Chidori knew no words for the burning in her chest, or the level of excitement she was getting out of fighting against her own pride. He was right there….

"Wait… Sousuke… couldn't Wraith be watching us?" She turned her head to look out of the window.

In the meantime, Sousuke had silently put his mouth to her ear. "Mmm… I hope he is."

His proximity and exhilarating words nearly pushed her over the edge. She gasped for breath while Sagara pulled back slightly so that she still couldn't touch his lips.

Kaname was now refocused on her target, with the added thrill that someone could be watching them from afar. She quickly remembered her dilemma. Ahhh! I can't… I can't just… say it… when he's right there… waiting for it!

"Nngh…" She closed her eyes to try to help fight it, but all it accomplished was to intensify her other senses. His scent was strong. She could feel his breath right there at her lips. She could hear the rustling of her clothes against his firm but painless grip. She felt his forearm pressed against hers behind her back.

I… I can't… take any more….

"Sou—Sousuke… k-…ki-…." She opened her eyes to see his intense, loving, and altogether arrogant gaze when she said it. "Kiss me!"

She gasped after saying it, sure that he would appease her and connect. His lips were now less than two centimeters from hers, but she couldn't lean any further forward, though she tried anyway. At last he moved.

He swept down to the side of her neck, kissing her there several times, while transferring his left hand's grip on her wrist to a spread palm, fingers entwined with hers against the wall. She whimpered slightly at the sensation: a mixture of elation at the contact and dismay that he had resisted her will yet again. When she felt prickly facial hair against her cheek, she caved.

"Wha—What do you want me to say!"

She was answered by a gentle nip just below her jaw bone, followed by a few more kisses. His grip on her other arm loosened slightly. "Hmm…" He stalled long enough to drive her anticipation to peak level again. His voice was muffled, and he paused to tease her with another peck here and there on her neck when he spoke, to which he received a small whimper each time.

"You just... outright… told me… to kiss you..." He stopped his intermittent kissing to look straight into her eyes again. "That didn't seem very polite, so I decided to take it upon myself…" he paused and took a deep breath. "…as to where I kissed you." And with that he went back to her neck to kiss again, occasionally brushing his tongue along her skin in the process, tasting her.

Kaname's voice was entirely lost to her now. She inwardly begged him to stop the torture. Outwardly, she managed "Why… are you teasing me like this?"

Suddenly Sousuke stopped his attack. Slowly he moved back in front of her.

"Do you really need me to answer that, Chidori?"

He was right; she already knew what the answer would be. The traces of his kisses and grazes of the tongue chilled her skin as they evaporated while her very soul seized in excitement at the thought of hearing the coming words. Sousuke was now moving closer… he pressed his chest against hers as he put his mouth up to her ear. Kaname trembled, barely noticing him releasing his grip on her left wrist entirely. He didn't need to hold her down anymore… her pride was long gone, replaced by the desire to be—she shuddered when she realized it—dominated.

She felt his chest push a little closer. "It's because…," he whispered.

Kaname took a breath through her nose and swallowed. Here it comes….

"It's because… you want me to."

Her exhale seemed to last forever. The words sent a tingling sensation down her limbs. She was frozen still when she heard Sousuke's mouth open and felt him drop a bit, his arms now resting on her shoulders. He slowly drew her earlobe into his mouth with the tip of his tongue and bit on it gently.

I can't take it… not there! I definitely can't survive that… I'll explode…!

"Enough!" She said without moving. "I'll say it… Sousuke…."

He stopped the assault on his new target and waited.

Chidori spoke softly, "Can… can I whisper it?"

She could feel him grin next to her ear without even looking. Knowing the tremendous satisfaction he must've been getting from finally breaking her almost brought some of her pride back to the surface. But she quickly remembered what she was waiting for.

"Yes, you can…," he paused. "…This time." Sousuke waited in his position for her to say the unspeakable words.

Kaname swallowed hard, the reward that was so close at hand making her heart thump so loud it could be heard a few meters away. "Sousuke…," she drew his name out in her whisper. "Please… kiss… me. I'm…" she swallowed hard again. It's so close, Kaname! She had to pour everything into it. "I'm… begging you… to kiss me… now… please." The last word could barely be heard.

Sousuke made no reply, instead bringing one hand down to her waist, and the other up to gently cup her cheek. Still unable to move, Kaname looked at him intently, waiting for the beginning…. He stroked her cheek once with his thumb before pulling her into him with the other hand.

Their bodies made full contact: All of her remaining breath escaped and she breathed in once more as she watched his lips open slightly.

He tilted his head and kept moving forward. Kaname let her lips fall open to match his.

He's not stopping… he's not stopping…! Time froze as he drew her gently toward him with his other hand. He's not… stop—

Kaname's eyes opened. Sagara wasn't there. She looked down. There he was...

…Reality settled in unfavorably with Chidori. She realized that not only had the past several moments not happened… they had been a dream which she initially knew wasn't real. Beyond that, there lay Sousuke, the polar opposite of the one… The one who just… just…. Kaname blushed so much it was hot.

She scrambled away from the sleeping Sagara, falling off the side of the bed and taking most of the sheets with her.

Having been disturbed from his rest (and his former pillow), Sousuke sat up in the bed, looking around.

"Hnnn?"

Kaname found herself hiding from view on the other side of the bed, somehow hoping he wouldn't notice her or the pile of sheets she was under.

Sousuke immediately noticed and uncharacteristically crawled over to peer down at the lump of sheets.

"Uhh… Chidori…?"

"Haaa?" It was an unfriendly sort of grunted response.

"…We are not being shelled, you need not take cover."

With that, Chidori's figure collapsed onto the floor under the sheets, one leg twitching slightly.

"Ugh… reality indeed."

(End of Wo Futari De)

----

Postscript

----

Well, friends, that does it for the romance volume. I guess the first thing I need to do is apologize for the relatively short length of the eighth and ninth chapters. I was originally going to only write eight, and Kaname's dream would be part of that eighth chapter. However, with the intense nature of what is now chapter nine, I figured there'd be several people who would prefer not to read it at all, and just consider the shorter version of chapter eight to be the end of the story. This is fine, of course. I briefly attempted to at least break the 2000 word mark on both chapters, but I found myself seriously just padding the chapters, and I don't want to get in the habit of slowing down the story for the sake of word count.

I also need to apologize for the rating I submitted. While nothing in this story constitutes an "R" rating, it's not really PG-13 either. I would expect that anyone under the age of 16 would find the violence, and chapter nine, rather explicit. While I would like to have rated the story more accurately, a mature rating is, in my opinion, more misleading. Higher ratings tend to suggest that there's explicit material over the entire story, and that's just not true here.

While on the subject of content, I'm also aware that I'm probably going to get a few reviews or e-mails telling me it's cheap to use a dream to entertain my (and possibly the readers') desire for a very romantic scene. To that I have but one response: You're absolutely right. And that's why I consider chapter eight as much an end to the story as chapter nine. However, I had a blast writing the entire story, and nine is no exception. To those that are truly upset about chapter 9, I'm sorry. I'm aware that the content here was dangerously close to what could daringly be called foreplay, but we all have those kinds of dreams occasionally, right? Kaname's dream and Sousuke's nightmare are no different from our reality, I think. shrug

Allow me to once more thank all my readers and reviewers. While the number of hits or reviews on this story may not be very impressive by this site's standards, to me the response I received was tremendous, and I never expected my work to be enjoyed by as many people as I hope have done so.

As for future volumes and releases, please refer to my profile for details, as I hope to edit only that and the foreword as news changes. But for now…

Sousuke Sagara will return in…

"Hitosawagase"

----

Response to Reviews

----

I've received several reviews for WFD; most being quite complimentary (Thank you again… I'm so not worthy…; ;). I have received reviews from a reader that was critical, and I'm also extremely thankful for that. Because I believe his/her concerns are quite valid, I think they, and my response to them, deserve to be posted.

--

I thought it was nice that Sousuke tucked Kaname in--cute.

To be honest, though, I have never been a fan of dream sequences in stories. We all know that Sousuke would be devastated by any harm/death dealt to Kaname. We also know that Sousuke is obsessed with safeguarding her physical well-being. For the purposes of plot/character development, I thought the dream was a little unnecessary, and kind of a cop-out.

I would have enjoyed a scene in which where we could watch Sousuke watch Kaname, listen to how he felt about lying underneath her (even if it was under a bed) or learn something new about the characters. Maybe Kaname has something hidden under her bed that is extremely interesting?

Still, I really enjoy the way you write Sousuke and Kaname's points of view. The things they think and do are really true and full, so I give you 5 stars on that!

Okay, I know I wrote about how I didn't like the dream sequence in the last chapter, but since this chapter is about what happens in relation to the dream, I have to follow up with a little more (negative) criticism:

I just can't imagine that Sousuke, as paranoid and war-minded as he is, would be as shaken as he is depicted in this chapter. Sure, he's a little tightly-wound about security, but he's also an extremely analytical person and is very conscious of his surroundings. Since he realized he was dreaming in the previous chapter ("something was wrong" and "he wasn't even lying down anymore" indicated to me that he understood this was a dream), I would hope that a chicken-shaped alarm clock would clue him in that he was now conscious. Just my two cents.

I DO like that Kaname pulled him into bed, however. Rawr. And I think that you have a great knack for Kaname/Sousuke dialogue.

(easysecond, reviews, 02/27/06)

--

Excellent criticism, thank you on both counts.

Regarding chapter 7:

I had originally intended to have them both unable to sleep, both being so close to each other but having an obstacle between (the bed). Specifically I was aiming for the symbolism here of how their two lifestyles were the only things holding them apart: Sousuke having to be "under the bed" (metaphorically) all the time and Kaname having to "stay in the comfort of the sheets" metaphorically again.

I felt at the time of writing these chapters (this was probably late November) that having such a scene at this time would have several negative effects.

1) Both characters have been heavily introspective over the whole story. While you and I may enjoy reading more of this, I feel that other people are ready for some more chapter 3/4: things actually happening.

2) Both characters are extremely exhausted. Sousuke has just found himself in a rage he never knew he had in him before. Kaname is still under the side effects of the tranquilizer. Both have been in a very heavy rainstorm for hours in early fall. In Japan, this means they're pretty cold (though I admit I failed to properly send that message in the text). Loss of heat is just one more thing adding to their exhaustion. This reason was probably the most significant when I sat down to write the chapter: these characters are hardly in any condition to keep reminiscing, even though that's the intent of the story as a whole.

I understand your criticism of the dream environment. A dream, however, allows an author to do a lot of things he couldn't in reality. This has advantages and disadvantages. The advantage in this case was that something was happening: an exciting (if in a bad way) series of events including lots of symbolism in the environment, Sousuke's position, and many aspects of Kaname's death itself (most prominently the fact that she dies on top of his dismantled weapon). I also felt like this dream was a more vivid way of relaying Sousuke's increasing concern for his own inadequacy. The disadvantage to the dream is that a reader often downplays its importance because it does not occur in reality. I felt like a lot of the symbolism in his dream was clouded by this fact, and for that I'm disappointed with the result.

Regarding chapter 8:

I may need to edit chapter 7 if you felt he knew he was in a dream. I intended for the reader to understand that Sousuke did not feel that he was in normal surroundings, not that he knew he was dreaming... if that makes any sense. I.e. literally "something is not right" here and nothing more. As for his reaction, we know that he is in a state of emotional unrest. We also know right from the start (episode 6 or 7 of the first series, as I recall), that when it comes to Chidori Kaname, Sagara does not act in his normal, tactical manner. Specifically I'm referring to him prioritizing her safety over the entire class when he goes to rescue her in the airplane hijacking incident. For that reason if nothing else, I have to disagree that Sousuke's reaction after waking up from his dream is uncharacteristic. However, since you believed he knew he was in a dream, the criticism certainly still holds water. I will look into updating chapter 7 after I finish posting.

Finally, yes: "rawr" is exactly the kind of feeling I had when I first wanted to create a situation of them being asleep in the same bed. It was actually this desire that helped me decide to have them fall asleep quickly and for Sousuke to have a nightmare, because I could think of no other good reason for Kaname to pull him in.

Regarding chapter 9, which you have not read yet:

You may find it not to be to your liking. I believe you'll enjoy the content, but not the setting. I'm not, however, changing the setting in light of your criticism, though said criticism is much appreciated. I'm sure you understand why that is, though.

Thanks again!

-Eso-

PS- I am copying and pasting this message so that, awaiting your approval, I can tag it to the end of one of the chapters so that those with similar concerns may read it.

(Esoteria, PM, 02/27/06)

--

I see your points! I admit that I'm partial to the whole "introspection while nothing is actually HAPPENING" style of fiction, which is why I may have felt disappointment with the dream sequence. I did think about how exhausted they were when they went to sleep, which is why I understand why you didn't have either of them stay up any longer than they did.

Noting your points about Sousuke's reaction, I agree--he's not at his most rational when it comes to Kaname. Though, it would have been fun if he had dismantled her chicken clock and searched her for injury.

On chapter 9 (which I hope to read soon!), I honestly feel relieved that you won't be changing anything on account of my input. I want to see what YOU want to write, not what I want to see.

And, feel free to copy/paste away!

-Case

(easysecond, PM, 02/27/06)

----

Just to reiterate...you write beautifully, I have no complaints in that department.

This last chapter is no exception, but the use of a dream plot ploy does feel almost anticlimatic...especially after the more tension filled chapters you had earlier. I guess I just feel like it needed a little more pow! at the end (even subtle understated pow) rather than the dream sequence. That said, however, there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself, but as an ending it leaves me wanting more!

...and wanting more is both a very good and not so good thing all at once. But easysecond is quite write - that's how you want to tell the story. Keep that, that's good advice! Now I am rambling...

Anyways, I am looking forward to more of your work!

(sciathan file, review, 03/01/06)

--

Your input, as always, is much appreciated. I too felt the ending was not as solid as I had originally hoped. This is, in part, due to the very long time it took for me to start writing chapter 9 after I had finished 8 (actually, as I mentioned before, chapter 8 was supposed to be the end). Significant changes will be made for the alternate ending, and it will pick up where chapter 8 left off. Large portions of chapter 9 may be used, I haven't decided yet. All I can say for now is that I do intend to write another chapter. And fear not, this is not due only to discontent readers. I want a different ending as well, and there are one or two things I want to do with the second ending. But you're both right. An ending is one of the most powerful, most important parts of a good story. Unfortunately it's also one of the hardest parts, and thus shouldn't be rushed, as Chapter 9 was. Anyway, please look forward to it!

(Esoteria, PM, 03/01/06)

----

I hope that this discussion is helpful to readers.

It is worth noting that since this discussion with easysecond occurred, Chapter 9 has been posted (new) and Chapter 7 has been edited for clarity.

If anyone else posts similar reviews I will consider putting them here in an update. It is unfortunate that this site does not allow for replies to reviews to be public.