Chapter 9
Ok, so this chapter is going to be a little longer. I haven't updated in over 2 weeks due to Major Writers Block! But then I got some major encouragement tonight from my Twitter Gals, and I truly appreciate it. So I decided this is MY story and whatever I want to happen, I will make happen and that THIS Twilight World is MINE. I control the characters and happenings here. We are going to take a deep look into Edward's mind now, and get some questions answered! Song inspiration tonight came from Depeche Mode," Nothings Impossible".
"Just give me a reason, some kind of sign Even the stars look brighter tonight
I'll need a miracle to help me this time
I heard what you said, and I feel the same
I know in my heart that I'll have to change
Nothing's impossible
I still believe in love at first sight
Nothing's impossible"
-Depeche Mode
EPOV
I stared out at the dark night sky, so glad the moon was out. Darkness had fallen, and night was my favorite time. A certain excitement coiled in my stomach, and I felt it tighten up. As if the night was my companion, calling to me. I turned my head at the sound of Rosalie's feet skittering hurriedly outside of my bedroom door.
"Edward," she hissed. "Come on with it! I'm hungry!"
I was too. It had been over a week now since we both had fed, clueless as usual as to why we abstained. Well, I knew why I had been abstaining but I had no idea why Rosalie had. Rosalie's impatient feet marched outside my door like a solider awaiting battle.
"I'm coming," I whispered, knowing she could hear me.
I opened the door. Rosalie's eyes turned wide and black, hungry and wild, and ready to pounce.
"Let's go, then." She said softly. She flew to the front door and I, hungry from my week of not feeding, could not help but follow.
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After we had hunted and our hunger was sated, we returned to the apartment. Rosalie candidly still licking her lips like a cat after a bath. She looked at me and smiled. She was high. "That was goooood…" She purred.
I stared at her. Her eagerness seemed perverse. I gritted my teeth and tried to smile at her. "Yes, it was." I admitted. "I'm going to my room."
"Not going out tonight, are you?" She called after me. I slammed the door as a response and walked to the window. As I looked out at the dark night, I thought about Bella. She knew now, what I was. She knew now what I did. She didn't know how I had become this way, or my past history. She didn't know everything. But I wanted her to. I paced the room uselessly. I needed to see her, but I wouldn't go to her until I felt that…that need within me. And it was not the usual need I felt, the need for hot blood spurting down my throat, exploding in my mouth. Not that need, although that need was great. It was that need that made me a creature that could not be explained. I was a strange half-breed. The word vampire seemed over-zealous and glamorous. But it was apt. That IS what I wanted, what I craved. Blood, hot, fresh pulsing blood streaming from a fresh wound, preferably from the neck. I sighed. How could that beautiful woman ever want me, this terrible creature that drank and survived on blood? Thinking of a constant blood flow spurting in my mouth, picturing the red pools swirling in my mind, my teeth grew sharp. I felt my fangs with the edge of my tongue. Only so slight, small razors. White, gleaming and small. They could have been bad teeth to a human with bad eye sight. My vision blurred and I felt the animal within me try to surface. No, No, NO! I had just FED for Christ's sake! I pulled my head down into my hands and jerked my hair, willing it to go away. Then, I felt it. I stood, frozen in the middle of my bedroom and looked at the clock. 2:55 AM. I felt a magnetic pull within my stomach begin to pull.
Bella.
She wanted me. Or needed me. It didn't matter which. I opened my bedroom window, stared at the moon in the sky, thankful it was bright tonight. Not that I needed the light to see, but nighttime is a Vampire's daytime. Our time to come out and play. I leaped from my window to the street, landing gently on the sidewalk as though I were some graceful animal. A gazelle, perhaps. Strong, swift and sure. I ran then, towards the pull. Past buildings, cars, the alleyway where I had nearly killed those two humans who had meant harm towards her (my love) and kept running, unable to stop yet sure of my course.
As I ran, I thought about the newest revelations to my life. I had met Bella. I had fallen in love with her almost on sight. She was not only beautiful, but as soon as I had touched her in the lone cemetery, the connection had been made. Now, no matter where she was or what she was doing, I would always know when I was needed or wanted, no matter what type of need it was. I thought about what it meant that I was drawn to a human. I had been attracted to them before, but attracted and drawn were two different things. I needed Bella. Craved her presence. And selfishly, already yearned to make her one of us, so that I would not have to keep walking the earth alone with only the company of my self-absorbed and so-called "sister" companion Rosalie by my side. In recent years, I had begun to detest Rosalie's very presence. Her feeding habits had become messy, almost cruel. Since we had traveled together for quite a few years now, it was only natural we would pick up one another's habits. We had decided by some silent truce, to only feed on the weak, the evil, the cruel, the ones we deemed deserving of death. It sounded bad and it may not have only been bad but worse than we thought. Sometimes I felt mindless, while divulging my need but somehow I also felt small corner of my sanity remain while I told myself it was ok because these were bad people, people who DESERVED it. But I could see from the gleam in Rosalie's eyes while she fed, and surreptitiously wiped the blood from her mouth, that she harbored no such feelings. She fed because she liked it. We both did because we had to. I shook my head as I ran, loathing myself.
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At 3:15 exactly, I gripped the sides of Bella's building and began to climb. I felt the skin of my fingertips stick to the side of the building like glue but let loose as I moved. My shoes dug in to the brick uselessly, as my fingers and hands supported my body and did the work of climbing. As I clung to the side of the window, I closed my eyes and thought very hard about not letting go and then positioned myself in front of her window. I opened my eyes. A new entrance. She would have to ask me. I slid one finger on the glass gently. I saw her rise and peek to the window, as I knew she would. She wanted me here, so I would be here. She wished for me to appear and so now I would. I would die for her. She was doing so much to me, she had no idea. I peered into the glass and stared at her. Her ethereal beauty became even more magnified in the darkness and light. I touched the glass, tracing the contours of her face. Invite me Love, I thought. And so she did.
"What do you want?" She whispered.
"To come in," I stated calmly.
She gulped. "Would you like to come in, Edward?"
I nodded, gazing intently into her eyes. She opened the window wide enough. "Come in, Edward. Come in." I climbed through.
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After Bella had passed out I climbed swiftly out her window, once again leaping to the ground and landing softly. I then begin to race, once again trying to out-run myself, out-run this creature that I was. I could not. I ran and ran. Past my own home, past the town. I ran until I should have been tired but I wasn't. I ran until I reached the park. There, I climbed a hill brusquely, until I reached a small cliff overlooking the park. The sun was beginning to come up. I needed to turn and go home. But I couldn't. I sat and watched and suddenly it began to rain. Clouds appeared, very normal for this area of the state. The main reason we had chosen to live here. We don't mind the rain, and being outside in the day is alright but we were unable to be in direct sunlight. A single but strong beam would pierce the skin at first, and a sound like meat frying on the stove (here piggy piggy) would sound, and smoke would rise from our searing flesh. You would have to stand in the direct sunlight for awhile to be burnt completely, but we had seen others of our kind find a way out in that fashion. It was not my plan to go that way, but I did take big risks by going outside in the daytime.
For instance, when I first met Bella in the cemetery, it had been somewhat sunny out. However, I wasn't standing directly in the sun and I had deemed the day dark enough to visit my sister's grave without prejudice from the weather. The sun had come out though, and although I had been spared that day from cooking directly in it, by some miracle it had also began to rain, my saving grace. Something about the rain seemed to make it safer for us. We were unsure as to why. It simply was. I shook my head and climbed a tree, the higher the better, to see the world and feel the rain that saved me from the sun. I thought about visiting Alice's grave that day. I was usually alone in the cemetery, even the animals scattering away from me, smelling a true predator in their midst's. So while the sun shine lightly I stared down at Alice's headstone and wished there was a way to be happy again. I wanted to bask in the sun. Or bake in it. I was coming close to an ending but wasn't sure where. Then I felt it. The Pull. Bella.
When I had looked over at the simple human girl, all reasoning had gone out the window. At first thought, I felt like perhaps the pull was my hunger. I cocked my head, listening to her heart beating, only to discover her short, erratic breaths meant she had been either crying or trying not to cry. The air had felt tense for a second, and I almost readied myself for danger, my instincts telling me to prepare. But there was only this frail girl, with her black clothing and black sadness and beautiful face. She didn't seem afraid of me. I listened to her heart again, to see if I felt or heard fear or perhaps guilt, if she had been doing something wrong. But I felt nothing. I felt something, but was unsure of what it was. And then I had gone to her. After speaking with her, following her, more like stalking her, watching her go to work, home and visiting her family's gravesite, I had learned a few things. But by then it was too late. I was already too taken in by her earthly beauty, the rich dark brown shade of her hair, her beautiful brown eyes. Her skin was white as sugar, and smooth like stone. Begging to be touched. Blood throbbed through her translucent skin, begging to be drunk in. I would not. Her small, lean figure and clumsy human footing only made her more endearing to me. I wanted to hold her, protect her, and keep her safe.
I screwed my eyes tight shut as I thought of what had transpired in Bella's bedroom last night. I couldn't hear her thoughts precisely; more so I could feel her feelings. I felt inside that Bella had wanted me to touch her, to hold her and then I felt…she had wanted me to kiss her. Staring down at her thin white face, watching her strawberry mouth as it neared so close to my own, all I felt inside was a yearning and the slight awakening of lust. True, sexual lust that had lain dormant far too long. As I stared down at her luscious mouth, I breathed her scent in and as soon as I smelled the blood pulsing through, felt the warmth of her body so close to me, the creature had awakened. I glanced down at her again and her eyes were closed, her mouth open to be vulnerable, expecting for my lips to meet hers. I could not. If I got my mouth near her I would kill her. I had already threatened that once but not truly meant it. My fangs jolted down, wanting to bite down on something and my vision went blurry. I hissed into the air. I would NOT do this. As her eyes opened and she saw the monster so near her, I know the last thing she saw were my red eyes before she passed out onto her bed. I fled.
Now, as I perched upon the tree branch, I thought about sweet, beautiful Bella. I thought about the life I couldn't give her. And then about the life that I COULD give her. If she wanted that. For nearly 300 years of my life I had been this thing. I had lived nearly my enter existence in hiding, with no mate and no companion except Rosalie and an occasional friendly visitor, another of our kind. We didn't socialize with others much. But through fights over territory and food Rosalie had always had my back but she wasn't the type of companion I had wanted. She wasn't Bella. Now that I knew about her I knew I would be unable to stay away from her. If my heart could beat it would beat faster at the thought of Bella with her white face and darkened beauty, shoving her fangs down into the soft meat of a neck, drinking in the life essence I so craved. I needed her in this life, with me. I would go to her and tell her exactly what I wanted, and what I thought should transpire. Tomorrow night. I smiled to myself, some of the first smiles in years that had crossed my face and they had all been recent. I felt like Bella was not only rescuing me from my own fate, but that I had been searching for her for years and just now finding her. I knew now I could never, never let her go.
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The next night, I stood in my bedroom once again, waiting for the moon to rise. I had wanted to go out today but had opted to stay home and rest. Rosalie had paced like an angry cat in the living room, watching me, speculating. I could feel curiosity and a little anger seething off her. I scoffed out loud. Jealous. I blew her off and thought about Bella. I couldn't wait to see her. Around 9:00 PM I could wait no longer. I walked out in the living room and out to the front door. Rosalie sat on the couch unmoving, watching the television. She watched me as I was about to exit and she stood. "I'll come too," She said, moving swiftly over to where I was.
"I'm not going to feed," I said, trying to shut the door. She stopped it suddenly, slamming it so hard and quick it almost broke in half. Her face was determined.
"Edward." She warned. "Don't do this."
I shoved my arm up against the door, pinning her up against it. "Do what?" I asked through gritted teeth.
She hissed and in one swift movement was underneath me and then behind me. "You're fucking around with that human. I will NOT let her fuck this up. I want to live here longer and don't feel the need to be chased by an angry mob because YOU have an infatuation with her." Her teeth gleamed and she positioned herself as if to fight. I shook my head sadly.
"Rose, just leave it. You're becoming pathetic. Nothing is going to happen. Now stay here. I'm going."
She growled at me. Her nails became claws. Yet she did not move from her stance, knowing my very words and presence emanated the truth. It was too clear. We could not lie to each other. Unfortunately. I shut the door on Rose and her angry presence.
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When I arrived at Bella's apartment, I heard commotion inside.
"I already told you, I DON'T know -" Bella's voice was high-pitched and afraid. I suddenly heard a sharp slapping sound of a human hand hit skin and a something heavy hit the floor.
"We can MAKE you-" a man's garbled voice said.
"NO!" Bella's scream was thin and high, very panicked now. Anger, hate, fear, anxiety was coming out from this apartment like a mist, seeping through. My fangs slid down and my eyes turned red. I hissed and with banged swiftly on the door. "BELLA!" I roared.
"You little bitch! Ungrateful little bitch!" Another woman's voice was seething with anger and lack of control. What the hell was going on here?
I heard Bella whimper. "Ed-Edward?" hands pushing shakily against the hardwood floor, scrabbling to get up and walk. "Edward!" She sobbed. "Please help me-"
Suddenly, I heard the slight change in the wind direction as someone grabbed her legs and swiftly jerked her up, pulling her by the legs. Her fingers made a smooshing sound against the wood and I heard her begin to cry. "No, no!" I heard the delicate snap of a fingernail breaking from her trying to maintain her grip on the floorboard. I felt nothing, saw nothing, only heard anger and rage in my mind. I lifted my hand once more and pushed the door open. The lock snapped and broke as the door swung open. The scene in front of me was un-real. A man easily three times my size was holding Bella by the legs. An older, well-dressed woman was waving a gun, a pistol it looked like, in the air, madly.
"Make her sign it! MAKE HER!" the woman was yelling now. I closed my eyes for a split second and felt all the bad feelings coming off of her. She disliked Bella immensely (stupid little bitch) yet knew her well. What the fuck was happening here?
"BELLA!" I yelled again. The man and woman both looked up at me this time. Bella was dangling from the man's hands like a fish out of water.
"Edward! Please-" she gasped.
I roared again, an empty animal sound, with my fists clenched at my side. I paced back and forth madly, venom pooling in my mouth, hissing openly into the air, purposefully showing them my fangs.
"What the FUCK!" The man shouted, staring at me.
I roared again, and slammed my hands on the door jamb, breaking splintering it. "LET ME IN!" I yelled, knowing I could not come in until I was invited. This was the most helpless, angry feeling in the world. I saw nothing but rage and could feel death already coming for the other two in the room.
The woman stared at me, "What the hell are you?" She half-asked and half-yelled.
I stared at her intensely, "Let. Me. Come. In." I spat the words out as calmly as I could.
The man dropped Bella and she landed smoothly on her stomach, grunting as she did so. 'COME IN! EDWARD YOU CAN COME IN!" She screamed thinly, before her eyes closed and she passed out.
I entered the apartment slowly, staring down at them. I closed the door calmly behind me, locking it. The two stupid humans were staring at me in shock and unable to move out of fear. "Felix!" The woman screamed. "Stop him!" Felix, deciding he wanted to live another day, turned on his heel and ran into a back bedroom, slamming the door. I started to go after him immediately, then decided to grab the lady's gun and shoving her hard back into a kitchen chair.
"You," I spat at her, venom now dripping down the sides of my mouth like honey. "Stay put. You are going to die. Soon." I heard Bella's bedroom window open and the smooth breaking sound of bone as Felix's heavy body hit the pavement. Not hearing anything else, I turned back to the bitch. "Now," I said, climbing back up into her face again, mewing like a cat. "You were saying?" She gulped.
"Please-"
Those were the last and only words I heard from the woman as I perched on her lap like a bird and bit her neck deeply, feeling the blood seep into my mouth, dark and delicious.
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A/N: Well? What do you think? Please Read, Review and Recommend. I really like this dark Edward; he is so much more forceful and aggressive than his Twilight counterpart. Stay tuned to find out what happens next!
I have a few story recs' to spit out here so here we go: "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by Jenny0719 is a GREAT story! You will love this! .net/s/5473838/1/
Also, "Thankful" By one of my all-time favorite FanFic Authors, Sydney_Alice, is a hot, sexy story of Edward and Bella that started out as an O/S but ended up being a couple more chapters. Enjoy! .net/s/6436199/1/
Please don't forget my girl PhoenixFan1, who has the awesome story of E & B called, "Who Says You Can't Have It All" read here! .net/s/6202913/1/
Looking for an A/H story? Try "Instructions Not Included" by SexylexiCullen .net/s/6145729/1/Instructions_not_Included
These girls are on Twitter and have provided awesome support to me! I also want to thank Wheather79 on Twitter for being so sweet and I love talking about music with you! Please R&R and you can follow me on Twitter as well atwendyherrington. Thank you for reading! I'm trying to get a rough draft down tomorrow for chapter 10!