This is (of course) for all of you who have ever traveled with a small child for any length of time. It's sort of incredible how much tension a crying kid in a car can cause. Say that three times fast. :)
They hadn't been driving long when they had an issue.
"What is that smell?" Vala asked suddenly, wrinkling her nose and looking at Cameron.
"Hey, wasn't me!" he said defensively.
Daniel had a pretty good idea what it was. "Uh, check Ethan's diaper."
Cam groaned. ''Ah, man. I am not changing him."
Daniel sighed and pulled to the side of the road. "Do any of us actually know how to change a diaper?"
Silence reigned.
Daniel sighed again and unbuckled his seat belt. Vala was already working on getting Ethan out of the seat, and when he opened the back door, she readily handed the little boy to him, holding her breath.
Daniel gingerly took him, the smell hitting him in full force. "Where am I supposed to put him?"
"The rear end of your vehicle should provide a suitable surface," Teal'c contributed.
"Dack's cabin?" Ethan asked, looking around the deserted highway in confusion.
"I wish, buddy," Daniel said with a sigh. He looked down at the dusty car with a frown. "Vala, did you keep any of the plastic bags from the groceries?"
"They're squooshed up in your trunk," she said, poking her head out of the car.
"Cam . . ."
"I'm on it, Jackson," Cam said, hopping out and standing ready at the back of the car while Teal'c leaned over and popped the trunk. He opened it and rummaged around and finally came up with a fistful of plastic bags.
"Just . . . spread them out a little, I guess," Daniel said, gesturing at the hood with one arm.
Cam laid a couple of bags out to put Ethan on, and Vala handed Daniel a diaper and the package of wipes that had been in her purse.
"I'm going to change your diaper, okay Ethan?" Daniel warned the little boy before laying him down on the plastic bags.
Ethan stared up at him with a little frown but didn't protest as Daniel removed his sandals and then his pants. He hesitated then, and Cam sighed heavily.
"C'mon Jackson, just get it over with!"
"Okay, okay," Daniel muttered and pulled off the sticky tabs. With Ethan holding still, the process was easier, though Daniel was thoroughly grossed out. Ethan started getting impatient as Daniel tried to get the clean diaper on, and tried to roll away, but Cam restrained him with a gentle hand, and Vala got out of the car and started talking to him about Jack's cabin, even though she'd never been there.
Daniel managed to get the fresh diaper, pants, and shoes back on the little boy, and Vala even had hand sanitizer in her purse, but none of them had any idea what to do with the dirty diaper. They had it tied up in one of the bags, but they couldn't just put it back in the car until they got to a garbage can.
"I say we just throw it in the bushes," Cam said. "It's pretty much biodegradable."
Daniel frowned. He didn't particularly think that was the best course of action, but what other option did they have? He must have pondered it too long because Cam grabbed the bag out of his hands and chucked it as far as he could.
"Geez, people," Cam said, shaking his head and getting back into the car.
Daniel handed Ethan back to Vala so she could get him in the car seat, and they were on their way again.
Not even fifteen minutes later though, Ethan started to get upset. He squirmed around in his car seat, not really crying, just kind of whining.
"What's the matter, buddy?" Cam asked.
Ethan just whined louder and pulled at his seat belt.
"He wants to get out, Daniel," Vala said leaning forward.
Daniel's shoulders slumped. "If we don't keep going now, I'm going to be driving through the worst part of the road in the dark. Maybe he's just bored."
"We shoulda kept some of his new stuff in here with us," Cam said, looking back as if there was some way he could retrieve some of the toys and books from the trunk.
"Daniel, let's stop and get some things out for him," Vala said, stroking the little boy's hair.
Daniel tried to say no, he really did, but Ethan's whines were escalating into crying, and it was making him feel a little panicky. "Okay," he said. "But leave him in the seat."
He pulled off again and popped the trunk so Vala and Cam could get out some toys, and Ethan became even more upset when they got out without him.
Daniel turned and reached a hand back to try and comfort the little boy. "Hey, Ethan, it's okay buddy, Cam and Vala are going to get some toys for you to play with."
"No!" Ethan shouted, and threw his stuffed leopard to the floor of the car, his sobs renewing in earnest.
"You don't want the toys? Remember the butterfly book? Do you want that?" Daniel tried.
"No!" he screamed, two big tears running down his face.
"It is likely he will become interested in the toys and books once he sees them, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c assured him.
Ethan calmed down marginally when Vala and Cam got back in and started pulling things from the backpack they'd stuffed most of his toys in, but each thing only held his attention for a few seconds, and then he'd push it away and start crying again.
"It's not working," Vala said ten minutes later, sounding close to tears herself.
Daniel was determined not to stop again; they still had about two hours left to go. "Did you try the butterfly book?"
"What are you talking about?" Cam practically shouted.
"The turtle . . . uh, Francis or something," Daniel said, gritting his teeth.
"We've tried everything, Daniel!" Vala cried.
"Teal'c? Any ideas?" Daniel said, still determined not to pull over again.
"It is quite possible he is hungry," Teal'c said, glancing back at the crying toddler.
"Of course!" Vala said. "Poor baby, he hasn't eaten anything all day!"
"Um . . ." Daniel's mind raced to come up with something in his car Ethan could eat. "I think there's a box of Saltines back there somewhere."
"I have some gummy worms," Vala offered, pulling the package out of her purse.
"Crackers would be better," Daniel said with a frown. "I think they're under Teal'c's seat."
Cam was bent in half, rummaging around under the seats. "Aha! Got 'em!" He held up the crackers like a trophy and ripped open the package. "Here you go, buddy." He handed a cracker to Ethan, and the little boy started to push it away, but Cam grabbed another cracker from the package and took a bite. "See? It's good!"
As soon as Ethan realized it was something to eat, he stopped crying and tried to shove the whole cracker into his mouth, getting crumbs everywhere, and held out his hand to Cam for more.
Everyone in the car sighed in relief at the sudden silence the cracker had produced.
"Geez, kid," Cam said, watching the little boy shove crackers into his mouth. "Guess you were hungry."
"Poor baby," Vala said again, still holding the gummy worms at the ready. "We should have thought of that sooner!"
Daniel was thinking along the same lines. How could he be a parent when he couldn't even remember to feed the kid?
Ethan ate almost the entire sleeve of crackers and a bite of one of Vala's gummy worms which he promptly spit out, giving her a slightly accusatory glare. With his tummy full, his interest in the toys and books was renewed and Cam and Vala gladly played with him for the next fifteen minutes. Vala was reading him the Franklin book when Daniel looked in the rear view mirror and saw that Ethan was sound asleep.
"Vala," he said softly, catching her eyes in the mirror and jerking his head toward the little boy.
Vala cocked her head in confusion, pausing in her reading, and turned to look at Ethan. A soft smile slid onto her face as she saw him, his small body completely relaxed, head dropped at what should have been an uncomfortable angle, and mouth hanging open.
Cam smiled at the sight as well, and he grabbed the stuffed leopard and wedged it between Ethan's shoulder and head so the little boy's neck wouldn't be quite so stretched. "There ya go, cowboy," he whispered.
Daniel looked out the window into the daylight and was surprised for a moment that Ethan had gone to sleep so early. It was only a little after six. Then he remembered that on Ethan's planet, it was after ten o'clock, which also meant the little boy would wake up way before Daniel was going to want to.
The rest of the drive was spent in relative silence, besides some quiet arguing about what radio station to listen to before the reception went out. Finally, they made it to the cabin, and even before dark.
Jack and Sam must have heard them pull up, because they came out of the cabin to help unload.
"What the crap took so long? We've had dinner ready for half an hour!" Jack said, smacking Daniel on the back of the head as he got out of the car.
Daniel glared at the back of Jack's head as the General went around to the trunk. "We made good time, considering."
"What happened?" Sam asked, pulling one of Vala's duffel bags from the trunk.
Vala, who was still sitting in the car trying to get all the toys and books back in the backpack, answered. "Daniel had to change Little Daniel, and then he – Little Daniel, I mean – got hungry and bored so we had to get the toys. And," she said, shooting a grin at Jack. "We could have made much better time if I were driving."
Daniel frowned. "That's because speed limits don't mean anything to you, and can you not call him that?"
Cam, who had been working on getting a very limp Ethan out of his car seat, now had the little boy nestled against his shoulder. "Kinda works though, Jackson."
Daniel decided to ignore his team mates and moved around to the back of the car to get his bag.
They all made it inside, managing to get all the bags in one trip. Jack and Sam had already brought in the portable crib and booster seat and they were waiting in the living room.
As they walked into the cabin, the smell of hamburgers hit them, and Vala stopped in the doorway and breathed in the scent deeply. "Mmmm! I am starving!" she declared.
Jack dropped the bags he'd been carrying and looked around at the various backpacks and duffels. "Let's get some of this stuff squared away and then we'll eat."
"Sleeping arrangements, sir?" Cam asked.
"I figure Carter and Vala will share a room, and that leaves the four – well, five of us," he corrected, looking at the sleeping little boy in Cam's arms.
"I call Teal'c," Cam said immediately, casting an apologetic glance at Daniel. "Big Daniel snores and Little Daniel pukes."
"Will you please stop calling him that?" Daniel sighed.
"Okay, fine. Me and the Daniels will take the other room, but you two get the bunk beds," Jack said, pointing at Teal'c and Cameron.
"That is agreeable, O'Neill," Teal'c said, inclining his head.
"I call top bunk!" Cam said.
They all gave him a strange look. "What?" he said, half-shrugging as one shoulder was occupied by a small head. "I always wanted a bunk bed."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Let's just get the stuff up here so we can eat."
They set up the portable crib first so Cam could put Ethan down, and Daniel carefully tucked a blanket around the little boy and got the new baby monitor running before going back to get his and Ethan's bags.
When everyone had the bags in the appropriate rooms, they all migrated to the smell of the hamburgers in the kitchen.
"I'm impressed, Jack," Daniel said as Jack plopped a hamburger patty on his plate.
"Oh?" Jack replied, a grin growing on his face.
"Yeah, I didn't know you could cook something not on the grill."
Jack took a good-natured swat at Daniel's arm with the spatula, nearly knocking Vala's paper plate from her hands.
"Hey!" she protested, balancing the plate again.
Jack grinned at her as soon as he finished glaring at Daniel. "Sorry."
Daniel watched them, finding a seat at the table. He rolled his eyes, but had to admit to himself that this was the most relaxed and happy he'd felt all day. It was nice to just sit down and pretend it was the old days with all his team members, past and present.
And yet . . . He glanced at the baby monitor sitting on the counter with the realization that he missed the excited chatter Ethan had kept up all day. He hoped the little boy wasn't too hungry or thirsty; he hadn't had anything to drink all day. He was probably dehydrated by now! Daniel was about to get up and get some water for Ethan, but a gentle hand on his arm stopped him.
"I'm sure he's fine, Daniel," Sam said, sitting next to him with her plate of food. He looked at her, wondering how she'd known what he was thinking.
She smiled and read his mind again. "You were staring at the monitor."
Daniel ducked his head, a little embarrassed that he was so transparent. "I was just thinking he's probably thirsty."
"He's asleep, silly," Vala said, sitting on his other side.
"Yeah, but he hasn't had anything to drink all day," Daniel replied, frowning.
"One day isn't gonna kill him," Cam said, joining them at the table.
"We can give him lots of juice and food tomorrow!" Vala exclaimed, squirting a disturbing amount of ketchup onto her burger.
Daniel grimaced at the ketchup overload. "I'm kind of afraid to feed him. It's probably Earth food that made him sick."
Teal'c sat down next to Cam. "It is my experience that children are extremely adaptable. I am certain young Ethan will be fine."
"Yeah," said Jack, taking the last remaining place between Teal'c and Sam. "You're just worried he's gonna puke on you again."
Daniel shot him a glare. "Well, I'd like to think I'm a little more concerned about Ethan. He is –" he stopped. He'd been about to say "he is my kid after all," but it didn't sound quite right. "He's . . . just a little kid." His attempt to cover it up failed miserably. He could tell from the expressions on his friends' faces that they had heard what he hadn't said.
The awkward silence was broken by Vala squirting mustard onto her burger with a loud, unpleasant sound. Cam turned to her and raised his eyebrows, and she smacked him with an indignant, "what?" It was enough to break everyone back into their usual banter.
Daniel leaned back in his chair, taking the good-natured teasing every time he glanced at the baby monitor and doing his best to ignore Vala who kept insisting he "eat and keep his strength up."
They finished dinner and retired to the living room where Jack started a fire. Cam, Vala, and Teal'c sat down on the large rug and started a game of Uno. Jack claimed his armchair and Daniel sank down into the huge leather couch next to Sam and stared into the flames.
"You look tired. You okay?" she asked after a minute.
He turned toward her and forced a smile onto his face. "I honestly don't know."
She patted his arm and smiled back. "Everything will work out."
Daniel couldn't quite understand how she could say it with such certainty, but it did make him feel better. "Thanks."
They fell silent, warm and full and comfortable, enjoying watching Cam, Teal'c, and Vala play Uno; Vala kept trying to cheat and Teal'c always managed to call her on it. Daniel glanced over at Jack and caught him staring into the flames with a slight smile on his face. Probably thinking up the best way to get everyone to go fishing tomorrow, Daniel thought.
The fire and the Uno game eventually died down, and they'd fallen into light-hearted conversation. Cam was now squished on the couch next to Sam, Vala was leaning against the couch, her shoulder barely touching Daniel's leg, and Teal'c was cross-legged on the rug. Everyone was quiet, pleasantly sleepy and basking in the comfort of each other's presence, when a sudden cry sprang from the baby monitor. Before Daniel could dislodge himself from the deep couch, Vala jumped up.
"I'll get him!" she cried, dashing down the hallway.
"Vala –" Daniel managed to get out of the couch and follow her, leaving the rest of his teammates to exchange eye-rolls and smiles.
By the time Daniel got down the hall, Vala had picked Ethan up out of the portable crib and was stroking his hair and swaying from side to side. Ethan was already calmed down, just whimpering a little around the thumb in his mouth, his head resting on Vala's shoulder.
Daniel stopped in the doorway. Vala was so focused on Ethan, she didn't notice him for a minute, and he found himself enjoying the rare opportunity to see Vala stripped the mask of flirtation and pride that she usually kept firmly in place. She finally noticed him and narrowed her eyes. "What?"
Daniel realized he was smiling and quickly dropped the expression. "Uh . . . nothing."
"I said I would get him," Vala whispered, still stroking the little boy's hair.
"I know, I just . . ." he shrugged.
Vala didn't reply, just turned her attention back to Ethan.
Daniel stood shifting his weight from foot to foot, debating going into the room. "Okay, well, I'm just going to . . ." He gestured toward the living room.
Vala acted like she hadn't heard him, so Daniel turned and started to leave the room, but Ethan's head popped off Vala's shoulder.
"Dano!" he said around his thumb.
Daniel stopped and walked hesitantly in the room. "I'm right here," he said, unable to resist resting a hand on the little boy's back. Ethan laid his head back down on Vala's shoulder and gave a little contented sigh.
Daniel and Vala avoided each other's eyes despite their close proximity, and finally Ethan's breathing deepened and his thumb fell out of his mouth.
"I think he's asleep," Daniel whispered, giving the little boy a final pat before taking his hand from his back. Vala ignored him.
"I'm just gonna . . . go."
She didn't even glance in his direction as he walked out the door and headed back down the hallway. He reached the living room and found that Cam and Teal'c had already headed off to bed, and Sam and Jack were conversing in low tones. Sam looked up as she heard his soft footfalls and smiled. "Everything okay?"
"Oh, um . . . yeah. Vala's just . . . um, I'm going to go get ready for bed I think," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and already heading back towards the bathroom.
"Daniel." Sam's voice stopped him, but he didn't turn. "Do you want to talk about . . . anything?"
He swiveled half-way, just enough so that his friends could see his forced smile. "No, I'm good."
There was silence and Daniel could feel both Jack and Sam's eyes on his back. "I guess . . . we'll see you in the morning then," Sam said quietly.
"Goodnight," he said. He met Vala coming out from his and Jack's room, and she deemed him significant enough to say goodnight before disappearing into the room she was sharing with Sam across the hall. He shook his head and crept into his dark room to grab his bag and then headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.