Kathy

Hypothesis revised: Chances of survival dwindling to zero.

Conclusion: Yours truly is officially creamed.

And before any of you start berating me for giving up so easily, let me say something: Even though I've faced down an Onix which is easily as large as a Charizard, that time I had the type advantage and not the other way round. Plus, a fire-breathing dragon with wings and claws isn't exactly what would inspire confidence in its opponent either.

"So you forfeit," Blue said, looking like he was trying hard not to smirk. "A clever but disappointing choice. Unlike Red, who would always push himself to the end."

"Who's Red?"

"My rival."

"Oh. Do I have a rival?"

He facepalmed. "How would I know?"

"Then never mind." I withdrew with pride my first evolved Pokemon. "Now what do we do?"

"The obvious," he replied, all traces of emotion gone again from his face. "Since we're quite close to Vermillion City, we'll hit the Pokemon Centre and go visit the gym."

"Okey-dokey!" Cheerfully I trotted on through the grass, having learned from Blue a long time ago that wild Pokemon were nothing to be afraid of. Except maybe the bugs, but then again, they're sort of okay. I wondered what Vermillion City would be like.

"Vermillion City is one of the most frequented harbors in Kanto," Blue said from somewhere very close behind me, like half an inch from my ear, and I jumped, squeaking in surprise.

"Gah! What are you, a friggin ninja?" I screeched at him, my heart pounding. Great. First he reads my mind, then he goes all ninja and sneaks up on me. This guy is creepy. I have no idea why he has so many fans.

"In a way, yes," he replied in amusement, falling into step beside me. "If you don't count the fact that I don't have shuriken and I don't climb walls. You can get Koga for that."

"Who the hell is Koga?"

"Fifth gym leader. Master of Poison types."

"Sounds more like 'Toga' spelled wrong if you ask me."

"Don't insult gym leaders you don't know."

"He can't hear me."

"You never know."

I stared at him for a moment. And then I got paranoid and kept glancing around again. But when the city came into view, all paranoia vanished.

"Whoa." I gaped at the bustling harbour that was Vermillion City. There were ships all over the place. Sailors dotted the area, ship crews ran to and fro hauling boxes along. And amongst them all I saw the gym, placed majestically right next to the shoreline.

"So, shall we go straight to the gym or check the place out first?" Blue asked.

Dilemma. Conflict. Indecision. Confusion. You get the picture.

I wanted my gym badge ASAP. I also wanted to explore. I couldn't decide. I mulled it over as I absently handed my pokeballs to the nurse in the Vermillion Pokemon Centre.

Okay. The gym badge was more important. The gym it was, then. "Go straight to the gym."

"Okay. Let's go." Blue tilted his head in the direction of the gym, and started walking.

Something clicked in my mind just then and I stopped in my tracks. "Whoa, whoa, wait a sec. Let's go? I thought you weren't going."

He shrugged. "Well, I changed my mind."

I didn't know how I knew, but I was somehow very sure that he intended to come with me all along. Maybe it was the amused grin on his face.

My face burned. So, he just wanted to freak me out and have fun watching me, eh? Stupid jerk. Oh, did I say that before? Ah, who cares. It was definitely worth saying again.

Stupid jerk.

I didn't know whether to be happy or mad. I wanted to punch him in the face and I wanted to hug him. As it was, I decided on something more evil.

"Ralts, use Confusion!"

It kinda came out better than I expected. Ralts lifted Blue into the air and dangled him by an ankle. Ha-ha! The great Blue... Upside down! And this impossible deed was done by no other than his apprentice, Kathy! Applause!

"Hey, hey! Cut that out!" He struggled, limbs flailing. His shirt turned inside out and flopped over his face, revealing his tanned torso to the world.

It was fun for the first five seconds.

Then Blue remembered he also had Pokemon and sent out Golduck.

"Confusion!" he commanded.

I yelped as Golduck yanked me into the air by an ankle using Confusion. Now we were both dangling upside-down in the middle of the city and people were staring at us.

"Let me down!" I demanded, trying to squirm around and keep my shirt in place. "It's rude to do this to a girl!"

"Serves you right," he called back, smirking. Somehow he managed to keep his dignity and confidence while dangling upside down by his ankle. "Your own fault for messing with me."

"Let. Me. Down." I growled. "Now."

"Let's see you do the same first," he retorted.

"Ralts, let him down," I muttered grudgingly. Stupid mastermind. I hope he falls on his head.

As Ralts let him down, he spun around gracefully and landed on his hands and feet. Whereas I landed with a thump very unceremoniously on my front.

Grumpily, I withdrew my Pokemon and stomped off to the gym. "Hmph. Stupid Mr-higher-and-mightier-than-thou. I'll kick your ass someday. Mark my words," I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that."

"Shut up."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Blue

It just kept getting better and better. Besides being a constant source of amusement, Kathy also gave me lots of ideas on how to play pranks. Muahahahaha.

The gym loomed before us, and my smile faded. Lieutenant Surge was a dangerous man, and I speak from experience. That innocent girl traipsing along before me right now couldn't possibly know what awaited her.

If I had my way, I'd stop her from going, but firstly, I wasn't her dad and secondly, there were no other places where you could get the Thunder badge. Go figure.

A sapling blocked our path. Kathy glared at it, and tried to squeeze around it. Which ended in an epic fail. Obviously she's too fat.

"Stupid tree," she muttered. "You just have to block every place I wanna go, eh?"

I couldn't help smirking. "There's a HM for that. Cut. Your Grovyle should be able to learn it." I reached into my backpack and pulled out a shiny disk. "Here." I tossed it to her.

She stared at it. "What's a HM?"

"Hidden Machine," I replied. "Now teach it."

She turned her stare on me. "You're giving it to me?"

"Nah. Just lending."

"Don't they vanish after using?'

"HM's don't."

"Okaaay." She sent out Grovyle and handed it the disk. There was a brief glow, and when it faded, nothing seemed to have changed. Grovyle was still holding the HM Cut.

"Okay, give it back." I grabbed the HM and slipped it back into my bag. "Now," I addressed Kathy. "Tell it to use Cut."

"Um... use Cut on that tree!"

Grovyle spun around, its arm disappearing in a blur of speed as it slashed the tree. For a moment, nothing happened.

"Aw, it didn't-" she started, and the top part of the tree slid sideways with a perfectly straight severed line. Kathy's jaw fell open.

"Wow. That's awesome."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Go on."

She withdrew Grovyle and trotted towards the door.

I followed her closely as we entered the gym, eyes wide and ears pricked for any sign of traps, ambushers, et cetera. Surge was an ex-soldier, and there was no knowing what he could have up his sleeve. There could be trip wires, smoke bombs, ambushes...

Okay, okay, I'm paranoid. But I'm only doing it for Kathy. There's nothing like a defenseless chick to make you keep your eyes peeled.

…

I meant 'chick' as in 'baby chicken', not 'cute girl', okay? Don't get me wrong. I hate being gotten wrong.

The gym was deserted.

At least, the common room was. But beyond the wall, where the gym leader's room was, I heard voices.

"This is not going well." I heard Lt. Surge's gravelly voice. "That boy Red is interfering with our plans. We're being hindered from our purpose by a mere kid. I say we dispose of him."

A chill ran up my spine. Red was in trouble.

"Easier said than done, Surge," came a woman's voice I didn't recognize. "You, of all people, should know that a boy like him will not easily be defeated. And of course, there is the matter of that rival of his, who I hear is quite formidable in his own right. Things will be complicated if we interfere."

"But we cannot let the kid continue!" Surge protested. "He will lay our plans to waste!"

"I shall deal with him when he comes. In the meantime, stay low and watch for other problems," the woman replied. "I will-"

Kathy chose that moment to ask really loudly: "Who's there?"

I clapped my hand over her mouth, but the damage was done. The conversation came to an abrupt halt, and silence reigned.

Then…

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" The woman said, walking into our line of sight, Surge close behind her. She looked young and slim, her long dark hair falling past her waist. "Visitors, Surge?"

"Challengers, probably," he said, eyeing us up. "And unfortunate eavesdroppers." His eyes fell on me. "Well, if it isn't little boy Blue. You're Red's rival, aren't you? Long time no see." He glanced at his companion. "May I?'

"I'll leave that up to you. But dispose of them." Upon saying that, the woman sent out a Kadabra. "Teleport!"

She vanished, leaving the two of us with an evil ex-soldier. Surge cracked his knuckles, grinning. "To what do I owe this visit? If I remember correctly, I do have a score to settle with you, too. That little brat Red will have to wait."

"I'm not here to battle you, Surge," I said stiffly. "Merely to supervise."

He glanced at Kathy, who was staring at him curiously. "Oh, so this little squirt wants a Thunder badge, eh?"

Being the dense kid she was, she nodded eagerly.

Surge threw back his head and laughed. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty intimidating when he's about twice your height. "You? Challenge me? I thought it was pathetic enough when your little boyfriend and his rival came challenging. But you?" He laughed again.

I admired Kathy for what she did next. She was either really brave or really dumb.

Probably the latter.

"You're dumber than I thought if you think he's my boyfriend. He's not. Now why don't you give battling me a try before you jump to conclusions, fatso?"

Surge stared at her for a moment before roaring in laughter again. "I like you, kid. You've got pluck. Too bad you don't have the power to back it up. I could take you down with half my arsenal, easy."

"Bring it on, then!" she taunted. "You said it yourself. If I defeat half your arsenal, I get the Thunder badge. Trapinch, go!"

Surge smirked. Obviously he didn't think much of that handicap. To him, Kathy probably wouldn't survive his first Pokemon anyway. Honestly, I thought the same.

But actually, I was more worried about the unspoken consequences should she fail. I didn't think Surge would just let her go if she lost. And I didn't like what the woman said previously.

"Dispose of them."

xxxxxxxxx

A/N:

S.O.R.R.Y. Had lots of work and the connection went berserk for some reason. Hope you guys stay with me.

Oh, and if you like crack-up-laughing comedy, I recommend you check out 'Opposites Attract' by my pal Mystic Ghost. It has a bit of romance thrown in, too. It's based on the Johto map, so it can also serve as a basic walkthrough.

Peace out, Kakashiz