Quintin and Harris stumbled from the debris of what was once a wall. Barely able to stand, Quintin called out, "Sorry if we're late Chrom, Harris wanted to go flying and I couldn't stop him." He fell to the ground, completely dazed.

"BITCH I'M A DRAGON NOW! WO-HOO!" Harris then collapses to the ground, with his hands held high and a face-splitting grin on his face.

Chrom stared at the two lying on the ground, "... How do I deal with this? Maybe I can just get Frederick to clean this mess." Chrom turned around and called out, "Oh Frederick! Where are you? I need royal assistance!"

A small cloud of smoke brushed past Chrom, and behind him now stood Frederick, "Sorry for the delay, Milord, there were some pebbles I had to remove."

"FUCK YOUR PEBBLES, I'M A GODDAMN DRAGON!" Harris belligerently yelled, still facedown in the dirt

"Frederick, take those two to the medical wing. I fear the Outrealms may have broken them more than they already were."

"Yessir!" With a single heave, Frederick piled the two onto one arm. He sprinted off into the castle, picking any pebble that may block the path.

Chrom sighed, "I can only imagine what our enemies think when they see him. I can't even take us seriously sometimes."

The medical wing was entirely empty as Frederick slumped Quintin and Harris on separate beds. Quintin groaned, "Must you plop? Is there no gentle put down? I just got crushed by rubble here."

Frederick turned to the pained monk, "Ha! That pain will go away with an hour's rest. However, the pain of rebuilding the wall you two broke will stay with you for much, much longer. I shall return when you are rested." The knight bowed and left the two.

"Hey Harris."

"Hey-o."

"Tell me, do I still have a right arm?"

"As far as I can see, yes."

"Good, I didn't want to look down. I felt something rip and I wasn't sure if that was being lifted by Frederick or my arm being removed. Had to make sure."

The two heard humming nearby, and soon Lissa entered. She glanced at the two beds before calling out, "Were the two of you the ones that broke the wall?"

"No, that was mostly me. You know, THE GODDAMN DRAGON!"

"You're a manakete? Woah, that's so cool! Why haven't you transformed in combat yet?"

"2 reasons: One, no one bothered to look at my ears and actually tell me that i'm a Manakete, and Two, I need a Dragonstone to transform, and I only recently got one when Naga felt like informing me of my race."

"Woah. But wait, your ears were normal when I last saw them, what are yo- OH MY GOODNESS THEY'RE POINTED NOW!"

"Lissa, it's ok if you didn't notice. I didn't even see and I have been adventuring with this fool for much longer."

"No, I'm not kidding, they weren't pointed before, and now they are! What happened in the Outrealms?"

"A terrible creation was released into the world, and I prayed to Naga to stop the monstrosity-"

"-so she threw a stone at me and then BAM! DRAGON."

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

Lissa shook her head in confusion, "So you are telling me, that Naga magically just turned you into a manakete?"

"Most likely. Or I'd always been one, and no one bothered to look at my ears."

"Knowing how much you Shepherds pay attention, it's probably the latter. I mean, you didn't even say hi to Kellam when you walked in."

"I-i-it's ok, I don't mind. I get it all the time." The new voice caused Lissa to shriek and jump onto Harris' bed. Quintin quietly cackled as he watched the cleric recover from the start.

"Well done Kellam, thank you."

"No problem I guess, tell me if you need anything else."

"Hey Harris, how you enjoying that new mass digging right into your chest?"

"10/10. Also smells pretty nice. Like apples. And vanilla."

"You gonna calm her down, or are we just gonna let that happen?"

"I dunno, if it makes her stay in my lap, I'm perfectly okay with her staying panicky."

"Sacrificing her poor feelings just so she'll stay on your lap? That's mean. I'd actually scold you, but I did just use her as scare bait."

"Ah, how cruel of you. Here, allow me to utterly abuse my newfound powers and transform into a suitably massive dragon to shield her from your cruelty."

Harris' stone shone brightly as a shell formed around him. The shell cracked, until it burst, revealing Harris' dragon form, curled protectively around Lissa.

Quintin rolled his eyes, "Getting a little stereotypical, aren't we?"

"I shall call her Imouto, and she shall be mine, and she shall be my Imouto. Get in line Chrom."

"I don't think you can just do that. And before you go on about how 'you're a dragon you do what you want' remember that Falchion destroys things like you for a warm up."

"This may be, but while Falchion destroys things like me, Chrom doesn't. Not yet at least. And until then, I can steal his little sister as much as I want! Ahahahaha!" Harris flew out of the medical wing, breaking the wall, with Lissa in tow.

Quintin watched the two fly away to wherever they may go. Chrom walked in to see a large hole in the wall and Quintin staring. He groaned and called out, "Quintin, where did Harris go? And why is there a giant hole in the wall?"

Harris zoomed passed the hole screaming, "AHAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU WALL! NONE CAN STAND UP TO MY SHEER DRAGON-NESS!"

Quintin turned to the baffled lord, "We found out something about Harris during our adventure, and he's on a bit of a power high."

"And that something would be that… he's a manakete."

"Got it in one. Man, we should make you the head detective of the Ylissean Police Force."

A guard burst through the door, "Milord! Dire news!"

Chrom sighed and turned to the guard, "What is it now?"

"The Duke of Themis, his daughter has been kidnapped!"

"Damn. Quintin, let's go rally the Shepherds."

"Shouldn't we tell Harris what's going on?"

"He's a big dragon, he can figure it out when he sees the rest of the Shepherds marching off. Now come on, most people are probably at the dining halls."

Chrom pulled Quintin out of the medical room and went off to the hall. Jogging to catch up, Quintin called out, "What about your sister, she's still in the clutches of Harris."

"It's probably best if she doesn't exactly know what this mission entails. I can't imagine what she would be like if she knew."

"She gains enough strength to magically become a war cleric without a seal."

"You don't know how seals work, do you?"

"Sure I do, you just have to be level ten or above and bam, you can use a seal."

"W-wha?"

"Hey look! The dining hall! isn't that where we needed to be?"

Chrom took a deep breath, "I hate this part, having to make some crappy speech." He forced the doors open with little regard to ceremony. The doors swung open and collided with the walls creating a loud bang, grabbing hold of everyone's attention. The lord inhaled again, "Shepherds, we have work to d- screw the speech. Maribelle has been kidnapped. We are saving her."

The Shepherds answered with a mighty cheer and began preparations immediately. While loading the caravan, Frederick skeptically watched Quintin. After some time, Frederick finally called out, "You made miraculous recovery for how little time you were in there. We didn't even send a staff in to help you two."

Quintin placed the box he was carrying and shrugged, "Plot convenience. What am I to do about it?"

Frederick scowled even harder, "I don't quite understand what you are talking about. I feel that's the best answer I'm going to get from you though. Carry on."

"Fantastic pun, Fred. A+."

The caravan was soon loaded, and the march began. Harris had yet to land though, drawing many complaints from Chrom. "Why is he up there with my sister for so long? What could he even be doing? I thought manaketes could only stay in that form for so long. When is he goi-"

"Sweet Naga Chrom, shut up!" Rebecca finally interrupted Chrom's utter nonsense, causing him to slump slightly. "Thank you. Here's the simple solution. Virion, give me your bow."

"Anything for a sweet lass such as yourself, but might I inquire why?"

"I'm going to deliver a clear message to Harris to get down here, now." Rebecca pulled a small piece of fabric out of her pouch and tied it on the arrow's tip. "Miriel, be a dear and light this, would you?"

"Fascinating, drawing the attention of a dragon by using their native breath. I must record this fo-"

"Miriel. Fire. Please."

The mage nodded quickly and summoned a light flame onto the fabric. Once the arrow fully caught, Rebecca aimed directly into the air and launched it. The flame flew upwards, before being plowed over by a brilliant blue fire ball. The familiar form of Harris flew to the ground and landed in front of the march. The column of flame erupted, and there stood Harris cradling Lissa in his arms. Rebecca tossed the bow back to Virion, "Glad you could make it, lizard."

"Glad you're still a shit shot Ginger. Who knows what might have happened had you actually managed to hit the dragon currently carrying one of the three living members of the Exalted line."

"Shit shot? I was just getting your attention. I'm not going to be the one to fight a dragon with dinky arrows."

"You keep telling yourself that. Now, let's get to it shall we?"

Chrom drew the attention of Harris, "Could you put my sister down now?"

"You'll have to pry her from my cold, dead talons Chrom."

"I have a sword that can do just that."

"Yes, but it is a sword. And I can fly."

"I can get a wyvern."

"I can melt the wyvern."

"Well I can ge-"

Rebecca slapped the two men simultaneously, "Alright you two. We get it, you are both hung like a horse. It's ok to back down sometimes."

"No Rebecca, I'm hung like a dragon."

"Far more information that I truly needed, thank you Harris. Now that I have Lissa in my hands though, I guess it really doesn't matter." Rebecca gently placed the cleric back onto her legs.

"Wha- when did you manage that?"

"You were making some crummy dragon dick joke, and I saw my opportunity. You were wide open for the steal man."

"...you've won this round Rebecca, but I will have my REVENGE!"

"I'll quake in my boots until then, shall we be off?"

Chrom nodded, "Yes, please. Maybe the march will bring some normality back to me. Or at least as much as the rest of the Shepherds will allow."

The Shepherds moved at an incredible pace, making their destination by nightfall. Robin called to make camp until morning, should anything turn sour.

Everyone was gathered at a central fire, relaxing and telling various tales to pass the time away. Currently, Virion was babbling away about one of his heroic adventures. While everyone was enthralled by Virion's grand tale, Quintin snuck off and pulled Harris along with him. Once out of earshot from the rest of the crowd, Quintin stopped and turned to the mercenary, "So, we really need to discuss something rather important."

"Uh, um, uh, sure, I guess."

"I know for sure I'm doing everything in my power to, 'influence' the love life of certain people. I figure if I do it, you should have some shot at it too. So, who's it gonna be?"

"O-oh. Um, well, I-i don't know. You can't just ask someone that out of the blue. We've only been here for a few weeks. That's hardly enough time to get to know someone well enough for… that."

"Harris what are you… oh. OH. No, I'm not talking about us getting our dues. I'm talking about setting other people up."

"Oh thank the gods. I really didn't want to have that conversation with you right now. Uh, I don't really know. I like a lot of the pairings, so you'll have to tell me what you have planned so I can give some input."

"You really have to ask what I'm doing? Really? The very first pairing I ever did, Robin and Tharja."

"Pfft, no you fool, I figured that much. I'm asking about the other pairings you have planned. And don't tell me there isn't any, I know you've at least planned something out."

"I mean, I haven't really thought about anyone else. I think Naga mentioned she had them planned or something."

"Well? Is he full of shit, or not?"

"I might've."

"...gee, thanks for that oh-so-vague answer. I dunno who I want to get together."

"You could help Gregor out, mercenaries need to stick together or something, right?"

"I mean, he's Gregor. He doesn't really need much help. He slays enough puss just by standing there. If anything I should probably help Inigo, gods knows he needs it."

"I… can't really argue with that. Wouldn't that really be more fatherly duty though? I mean, you could be his father. That's not the point though. Who would you pair him with?"

"Well, he is the only good pairing for Morgan, so probably her."

"Shouldn't we clear that up with Robin first? I'm sure it'll be just fine to explain that he'll have a kid from the future just show up out of nowhere, he'd be perfectly fine after that."

"...or, now, listen, this is kind of a stretch, but, just maybe, we could not do that, and have him find out for himself. And it's not really up to Robin, it's up to Inigo and Morgan. And me. Because all the other pairings are shitty."

"Well, can't argue that logic. So yeah, if Naga tries to keep her pairings as they are, we might run into trouble. I don't know, but we could be facing a shipping war with a divine."

"Well, if worst comes to worst, we could just pull a "Lucina Reacts" and flood their rooms with aphrodisiacs and hallucinogens."

"... I want to comment on that, but that's spoilers for not even our own work. Eh screw it, that didn't work for them, what makes you think it will work for us?"

"Because Inigo and Morgan aren't as horribly awkward as Lucina and Robin are, and they're teenagers."

"... you do realize you are trying to get exactly what Inigo wants, instead of setting him up for any sort of actual relationship?"

"Psh, you really think I'm going to let him bang Morgan like that? You know, the girl who I still haven't convinced myself that she isn't my daughter. I'm going to set the fool up, the aphrodisiacs and whatever are for people I care less about/a last resort."

"You are going to have a real complex about that when she comes, won't you?"

"You're damn right I will."

"What happens if you get your own daughter before her though? I got it, you name her Morgan too. Calling it right now."

"Pfft. Naw...Probably not at least. I'll spoil them both equally. I shall be Cool Uncle Harris, and I shall give dragon rides to all."

"'Cool Uncle Harris' sweet Naga could you get anymore soccer dad?"

"...I mean, I could wear a soccer jersey and make the Ylissean cup a thing."

"Oh my could you imagine Chrom playing soccer?"

"What are you two talking about?" A new voice rang through the air, causing both to spring into the air. Slumped on a tree was an unarmored Kellam. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Quintin quickly recomposed himself, "So how long were you there exactly?"

"Oh not long, Frederick was all worried that you two disappeared, and he sent me to find you. I was glad to get away from Virion's ever-great tale of wonder."

"Is that really still going on? We've been out here for a while, and this isn't right next to camp."

"Oh yes, when I left he was 'just getting to the most gallant part.' I almost keeled over laughing at that."

"Right. Back to camp?"

Kellam removed his weight from the tree and headed towards camp, "If we walk slow enough, we might just get there in time for the final entry in the saga."

A/N: Q: I thought to myself, "Maybe we can get through an action scene in this chapter." Then I started writing, and banter happened, and I just can't bring myself to be serious right now. Figure hold that off to put in a scene I wanted to happen, and not write some crappy fighting.

H: I'm slightly happy Q decided to end it here, as i'm slowly losing my ability to type/think.

Q: Assuming he ever had it to begin with.

H: diiiiiiiiiiiiiick

Q: 3

H: the sleeps are 2stronk for banter, finish the AN

Q: you know that first week in August? Yeah, I'm not doing anything involving things at my house at all. Really great that I can always guarantee not writing, but can't keep a consistent posting schedule to save my life.

H: fuckin' busybody

Q: I think that's all I have for now. As always, get ready for me taking far too long to post some not worth it chapter. See ya!

H: Bye readers! Please, if you enjoyed this chapter/chapters/story, please leave a review telling us how you felt about it.