CHAPTER 10
Logan drove back to the Palm Woods. As he entered the lobby, he bumped into his best buds.
"Hey, buddy. What are you doing home this early?" Kendall asked his friend.
"Oh," Logan started nervously. "My wrist hurt and Dr. Cameron made sure I had it x-rayed and it appears to be sprained badly."
"How did you hurt your wrist?" Carlos asked.
"Oh well … I tripped this morning when I got out of bed," Logan lied.
"No you didn't," Kendall replied.
James and Carlos worriedly glanced at both of their friends.
"I was awake when you woke up this morning and you hardly could get out of bed at all," Kendall said. "You're lying, Logan.
"I'm not," he said.
"Yes, you so are," Kendall went on. "And why were there blood stains on your dress shirt and the towel? Care to explain that?"
Logan nervously bit his bottom lip. How was he supposed to answer that question? Obviously, Kendall was on to something. Think, Logan. Think. You're supposed to be the genius after all.
"Okay, okay," Logan said. "I'll tell you. It's kind of embarrassing, though."
"Spill," the boys all said.
"Dr. Cameron let me do a simple procedure in the operating theatre on my own," Logan started. "I was so nervous about it, but it all went well. I finished the operation all by myself and I was really proud of myself."
"And that explains what exactly?" James asked.
"Wait. The worst part is yet to come," Logan answered him. "We had some extra bags of blood for the patient in case we would need it, but we didn't need them after all. I wanted to help the nurses clean up the operating theatre and you know, clumsy me. I ended up tripping over my own feet and one of the bags of blood fell on the ground and splashed all over my shirt."
"Oh," James and Carlos stated.
"Okay, that might explain the stains on your dress shirt," Kendall said. "But what about the blood on the towel?"
"Oh, that," Logan said softly. "I ended up hurting my wrist while falling on the floor and there were a few cuts on it. They must still have been bleeding when I took a shower at home."
"What about your wrist?" Kendall asked.
Logan rolled up his sleeve to reveal his bandaged wrist.
"It still hurt today during my internship and Dr. Cameron made me have an x-ray," Logan explained. "Turns out I sprained it badly when I tripped the other night. Dr. Cameron prescribed me some anti-inflammatory medication and told me to go home early, because of my injury and because I scared all of our patients to death."
"You do look horrible," James said.
"Yeah, well I hardly slept because of the pain I was in," Logan explained. "And I also thought Dr. Cameron would throw me out of the program because of what I did. But he didn't." A faint smile appeared on his tired features.
"Maybe you should go upstairs and rest for a while," Kendall said.
"Yeah. I think I'll do just that," Logan answered him.
Meanwhile back at the hospital, Logan's supervisor wanted to discuss his pupil's behavior with his college of the psychology program. Dr. Cameron was an easy going, friendly and caring person and he had lots of friends at the hospital. But Professor Turner wasn't one of them! They only spoke to one another on professional terms, as he considered her to be doctor with lack of empathy towards any living creature.
He found himself knocking on her door once again and hoped she would open up now. The last time he had tried to have a conversation with her at her office a few days earlier he had found the door had been locked.
"Come on in," she yelled from inside her office.
Dr. Cameron poked his head through the door. Professor Turner sat at her desk typing away on her laptop.
"Can I help you?" She asked Dr. Cameron.
"I hope so! I've been meaning to talk to you about Logan Mitchell, my assistant," he started.
"What do you want to talk about?" She asked.
"He has been acting pretty strange lately," Dr. Cameron started sitting down in one of the chairs opposite his college.
"Oh," she merely answered getting curious by now.
"He is kind of a shy and insecure young man. We all know that! But his behavior has changed lately! He is withdrawn, flinches whenever you try so much as to pat his shoulder and he zones out regularly during conversations. He has even been on the verge of a serious panic attack a few times. Is he like that during your sessions too?"
"Indeed he is," she said. "Maybe he is not cut out to be a surgeon and he knows that."
"No, that's not it," Dr. Cameron answered her. "He is a damn fine surgeon and a great doctor."
"Well, than we need to work on his insecurities," she said. "He needs to overcome his panic attacks. I'll work on that during my sessions. And I'll keep a close look out for him at the hospital and monitor some of his procedures from a distance. Maybe that way, I'll be able to help him some more."
"That might help. Thanks!" Dr. Cameron said standing up and getting ready to leave.
"Oh by the way," he said. "I've tried to talk to you earlier this week right after Logan's session with you, but as I knocked on the door there was no answer and the door was locked."
"Yes, well," she said. "I only had a short session with Logan that day as he kept zoning out all the time. So I ended up sending him home early and I went home as well."
Dr. Cameron thanked his college for the conversation politely and made his way out of her office.
"Oh, Dr. Cameron?" She asked him.
"Yes?" He answered her.
"Uh .. I haven't seen Logan today and we were supposed to have yet another session. Do you know where he is?"
"I send him home," Dr. Cameron explained. "He looked as pale as a sheet nearly scaring the crap out of the patients and he also had a painful sprained wrist. He'll be back tomorrow."
Logan slept almost all of the afternoon and he ended up feeling a lot better. Due to the medication he got, his pain was nearly completely gone.
He looked a lot better the next day he arrived back at the hospital.
"Logan, I think you are ready to do some more complicated operations by yourself from now one," Dr. Cameron said.
"You do?" Logan asked him a little nervous, but also excited about the new opportunity.
"Yes, I'm sure. As I said before, you're a brilliant surgeon and you'll need the training anyway," Dr. Cameron explained. "You can do this. Remember, there is a job opening waiting her once you've graduated."
Logan blushed.
He was now on call at the ER and Dr. Cameron would only be in the operating theatre with him to keep an eye on him if necessary. Later that afternoon, a serious injured person was brought into the ER and Logan was paged and asked to scrub in.
He was excited as he scrubbed in with his supervisor.
"You'll do great, Logan," he said. "I did ask Dr. Turner to keep an eye on you too during the procedure."
Logan nearly froze. She would be watching him operate on a patient. He swallowed nervously and he felt his hands start to tremble.
"Let's do this," Dr. Cameron said.
Logan sighed and went inside. He peeked upstairs to see 'her' standing there watching his every move with her cold piercing eyes. Logan felt exposed all over again even though he was wearing scrubs.
The patient was wheeled in and Logan tried to concentrate fully on his job. He asked all the right questions and started the procedure. But he felt her piercing eyes on him all the time and it made him super nervous. All of a sudden, something went wrong …
"Dr. Mitchell, the patient's blood pressure is dropping quickly," one of the nurses said.
Logan panicked. He was trying to think what was possibly going on, but he was so nervous by now that he failed at thinking clearly.
"Dr. Mitchell, you have to do something now," another nurse said. "We might lose the patient otherwise."
Logan couldn't react. His whole body was trembling and his sight was all blurry. He knew 'she' was loving the fact that he was screwing up.
"Dr. Mitchell. Logan. Focus. We need you to do something, now. Snap out of it. Do you hear me?" Dr. Cameron said.
He shook Logan's shoulders, but nothing helped. He knew he had to intervene before things really got bad.
"Get out! Get out right now!" He yelled at Logan as he pushed the frightened young man out of the way.
Logan hurriedly left the operating theatre and went into the locker room. He pulled off his green shirt, his hat, his gloves and his mouth mask and plopped down on one of the benches. He really made a mess of things now! He made a crucial mistake which could cost a person's life all together and he got kicked out by his supervisor. He was indeed a total failure! Logan ran his hands through his damp raven black hair and let the tears run freely.
He sat there for what seemed like hours on end just crying until he officially ran out of tears. Suddenly he felt two hands on his shoulder. Logan looked up with a tear stained face and red, puffy eyes.
"Logan. Care to explain what happened in there?"
It was Dr. Cameron who had put his hands firmly on his assistant's shoulders.
"I … uh … I .. blacked out," Logan said his voice trembling with all of the emotions. "I just didn't know what to do anymore and I just lost it. I .. uh ... I .. killed .. someone." He ended up crying again and buried his face into his hands.
"No, Logan. You didn't kill anyone," Dr. Cameron said. "It was a close call, but I could save the patient's life."
"I'm such a failure," he cried out.
"Logan, look at me. Right now!" Dr. Cameron said.
He hesitatingly did as he was told while tears were still running freely down his pale cheeks.
"You're not a complete failure! You are a wonderful doctor. And you're only human! Doctors and surgeons make mistakes too. We just have to work on controlling those over active nerves of yours. Stop blaming yourself, Logan. The patient is alive and well thanks to you!"
Logan dried his tears as Dr. Turner walked into the room. His breathing immediately picked up.
"Dr. Mitchell," she said. "I've witnessed what happened to you in the operating theatre and we really need to talk about that during our private session. Come with me, please."
Logan locked eyes with his supervisor and he read pure terror into the boy's eyes.
"It's alright, Logan," he said patting the boy's shoulder softly. "You won't get in trouble! You won't get fired. I promise you that. But you need to talk about what happened, so you don't end up doubting yourself. You'll be alright!"
Logan nodded his head, stood up and followed Professor Turner to her office. He dreaded already what would be happening to him. The hallway to her office was empty as usual. She pushed Logan inside the room and locked the door again as usual.
"Well, well, my little screw up," she smirked. "You certainly blew it in there!"
Logan's eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears again within minutes.
"Don't you dare to cry! You've done that enough already and it won't help you. I guess I'll just have to punish you extra today for screwing up," she said.
Logan's heart hammered away in his chest. She roughly pushed him against the wall. As soon as his back hit the wall, Logan whimpered ever so softly. His back still hurt.
"Well, handsome," she whispered in his ear. "As a special punishment today, I'm going to record our little session on camera."
Logan froze. Things couldn't get any worse. She roughly kissed him on the lips making him gasp for air afterwards and she ran her hands all over his body. Then she walked over to her camera.
"This is it," she said to the frightened young man. "You'll do as I tell you. Got it?"
Logan nodded his head softly.
"You'll strip ever so slowly and sexily in front of the camera," she stated.
Logan felt awful. He hated how she just loved to watch him get undressed. She had no right to make him do that and abuse him like she did. He so badly wanted to shield his body from her eyes and the camera, but she was a vicious person. Logan already suffered last time, when she beat him with his own leather belt. So he just endured her 'session' once again.
As usual she ended up hurting him again and Logan knew she really did that on purpose. As time went by, Logan hated his own body more and more. He never ever got rid of the feeling of being dirty all the time and he couldn't even wash the feeling away anymore. Now that she also taped her 'session', he felt even worse.
After she was done with him, he eagerly wanted to get dressed again and get out of the office.
"What do you think you're doing?" She sneered.
"Getting dressed." Logan's voice was hardly above a whisper.
"Did I tell you that you could?" She sneered hitting him hard in the face.
Logan shook his head nervously and rubbed his sore cheek.
"So, that means you're not done yet," she answered him as her eyes roamed all over his body.
Logan felt very uncomfortable and ended up shielding his body from her view.
"Stop covering up," she said viciously. "We're going to have a little photo shoot. You'll do all the posing and I'll take the pictures. The only thing you won't be needing is a change of outfit."
Logan never ever felt so worthless and used in his entire life. Pass out. Just, please pass out. But he didn't and he ended up posing for her camera like she made him do. It was as if his mind let go of his body at that moment and he watched his body act from a distant. It almost made him sick to his stomach.