Written 04/26/2015

Idea: Madara has always had nightmares.

Characters: Fem!Madara, Fem!Hashirama, mentions of Izuna and other Uchiha siblings.

Pairings: Fem!HashiMada

Warnings: Nightmares, and mention of vomiting.

Madara had always had nightmares, for as long as she could remember, starting from when she had been very young.

Her first nightmare that she could recall had been of the first battle she had ever seen up close. She had barely been four, and had been one of many Uchiha children sent outside of the camp to scatter traps around to catch any enemies sneaking up on them unawares. Then, a force from another clan (Madara could never remember which one it had been) had shown up. She had watched in silent horror as her cousins were slaughtered, as she hid in a hollow underneath a tree. She had promised to herself then that she would never, never be that weak ever again, and would never again watch helplessly as her family died right before her eyes.

She had dreamt of that day for years, even as she had trained, and fought, and trained, and fought. That overwhelming feeling of helplessness haunted her at night, no matter what she did.

The next nightmare, had come after the first of her younger brothers had died. She had been helpless once again (Always so useless, her father always told her. Useless, useless, useless-), forced to watch as her youngest brother died at the hands of a Senju, who had then grinned at her.

She stood over his dead body, glaring coldly down at him as she cut off his head, watching it bounce away with grim satisfaction. She had been eight, and never forgot the scream of her eight year old brother as he had died.

She never dreamt of the deaths of her youngest two brothers; the twins, they had always, always, done everything together. Were born together, lived together, and then they had died together. She never dreamt of it, because she had not been there. She hadn't been there for them. (She had been lying, half-dead in their clan's infirmary, too busy fighting the gods for her own life, to fight the Senju for her brothers lives. She had been ten and had a punctured lung, several broken ribs, and nobody had expected her to make it, but she had and her brothers hadn't. It just wasn't fair.)

The nightmares kept coming and coming, adding up over the years, blending into each other as the years passed.

Helpless, her brothers dying, her mother dying as she futilely attempted to bring a sixth child into their war torn world only to be taken from it herself, all of the many many times Madara herself had nearly died adding up over the years, finding out Hashirama was a Senju and had as much Uchiha blood on her hands as Madara had Senju, her father's death, more and more battles where she fought off death at every corner, getting her Mangekyo Sharingan, Izuna's death, Hashirama killing herself, the village burning, Hashirama dying and Madara being uselessuselessuseless-

Madara's eyes shot open, blazing red as she stumbled her way out of the bed, tangled in the sheets and sticky with cold sweat, falling onto her hands and knees on the floor with a gasp. She was dimly aware that she was shaking as she tried to keep her gasping breaths quiet enough to not wake her lover. Her stomach rolled and rebelled as she recalled the flashing images she had seen behind her eyelids and it took all she had to make it to the bathroom before she vomited.

Footsteps sounded behind her, and a hand bearing gentle healing chakra was placed on Madara's forehead, soothing her as her stomach finished emptying itself. Hashirama lightly hugged her as the Uchiha took a few deep breaths.

"It's alright love, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. We're safe in the village." Were the words being murmured into her ear and Madara managed to drag in a shaky breath, leaning back against the Senju as her eyes faded back to black. They sat there for a few more minutes before Hashirama shifted.

"Are you alright to go back to bed now?" She asked gently, and Madara nodded stiffly, getting a soft smile in return and a calloused hand pulling her up to her feet before Hashirama's arm was wrapped snugly around the shorter woman's waist.

"Come along then, we have a few more hours before we need to be up." Madara was silent as she let her lover lead her back to the bed where the Uchiha curled up, tugging the blanket snugly around her shoulders before she was dragged towards Hashirama, her face tucked underneath the Senju's chin.

"Sleep now love, I'm here."

Madara slept.