Happy

Chapter 10

My eyes stared forward at nothing in particular. My thoughts wandered, searching for a familiar face. One I never want to forget. A face I can't forget. As I grasp a hold of the warm fingers, I stand up and go to the front door, swinging it open and slowly walking out. My eyes look up to the vast sky, the colors of the sunset astounding me with it's beauty, reminding me of his bleeding eyes, his bleeding heart, his bleeding wrists.

The sky is crimson. The rain will soon come. Rain reminds me of his tears- dammit, everything reminds me of him. I blink back my own rain as I thought of what he said.

"Sorry doesn't change what happened, you could have died." Those were my words; I had not expected his answer.

"That was the idea." I felt as I if I had been slapped again. No- not slapped, it felt as if my heart had been ripped out and torn to small ribbons and was all that remained of what it once was.

The world was so cold to him. Is so cold. I shivered as an icy wind shoved my hair back. It is cold. The hairs on my arms began to stick up as the sky cried. Each clear droplet sprinkled onto my heated skin. My eyes went back to the sky.

The tears caught in my lashes mixing with my salty ones. I know Kakkarot is crying at this exact moment. He will be crying for a long time. All I can do is hope he will get better. I will dry up his tears. I swear I will. I promised I would. I have to hope that he tries too. He can't expect me to baby him. Though I will most likely end up babying him. I sighed as more tears trickled down my face whether they belonged to the sky or me, I didn't know. Maybe they're Kakkarot's . . .

Soon my skin was saturated, so was my clothing. I turned and headed back into the deserted house. Trunks and Goten left to get Kakkarot's things. Which wasn't much. They will be back soon. I should let my tears fall now before they come back and see. But I wiped them away. I will not be weak.

I grimaced as a familiar pain began at my temple, my vision blurred for a moment. I staggered back, catching my balance after a few moments, my knees still threatened to give out. What the hell was that? I blinked my sight back. My hands caught the door handle and slammed it shut. The sound echoed through the deafening silence.

My mind was still aching from what happened, damn headaches. They stared a couple months ago; the pain sometimes was so intense I couldn't move. I found myself overwhelmed with nausea. Migraines. That's all it is. Migraines.

I held my temples and massaged them gently. Each moment the ache seemed to subside little by little. Until it was a dull throb. I dragged myself to the couch and dropped down onto it, resting my head against the plush pillow. Letting my eyes slowly drifted shut, Kakkarot's laugh echoed in my mind, so did his wide grin.

I might have lost him. I might never see that again. I might never hear his soft chuckle. I might have never seen him.

I treated him horribly. I am just as bad as his brat, Gohan. I am just like him. I don't want to be, but what did I do besides spar with him? Nothing. I hate myself, how could Kakkarot like me at all? My eyes clenched, another tear prying it's way out. I wiped it away. Another tear not shed.

I could still hear the sound of rain; it was almost like Kakkarot's laughter. So rare and yet so beautiful.

Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow . . . maybe Kakkarot will smile. The sun will shine when he does. I know it. I sighed as the front door opened; Trunks and Goten came in. They were silent as they crept past me. My eyes cracked open, a small bag in Trunks' muscular arms; Kakkarot's earth name was written in black marker. Obviously written by his dead wife.

Trunks saw my eyes open, a forced smile appeared on his face. He could tell I had been crying. "Hey dad, I'm gonna bring Goku's things to your room." I nodded.

Trunks left the living room, but Goten still stood there. Something was in his hand. He stepped towards me as I sat up. "Vegeta . . ." His bottom lip quivered as he held out the small box. "This is for you." He set the small box in my hands. It was heavy. "There are things for me and the others that are alive. I thought you should see it first."

I eyed the wooden box. It was very old. Words were written on it and small hearts and other shapes covered the surface. "Where did you get this?"

"It was in his drawer. I saw it a long time ago sitting on his dresser but it disappeared after mom . . . died," his words cracked at the end of the sentence. I held back the tears as I saw them creep down his cheeks. "He misses her so much. So do I. So does Gohan." I set the box a side for a moment and he wrapped his arms around me. "Dad's gonna be okay. I know it."

"So do I." I held him tightly and released him. He smiled at me. His smile so much like Kakkarot's.

"I feel better now. You're not as mean as I thought."

"I guess one person can change because of another's pain." He nodded as I said this. It's true. I changed because of Kakkarot's pain.

"I'm gonna go upstairs with Trunks . . . goodnight. I think you should see what's inside. You might not like everything." He turned away from me and disappeared from sight as he went up the darkened stairs. My eyes went to the box that sat next to me.

I grasped it in my hands. The scent of crayons reaching me. Crayons? I eyed it. Kakkarot drew on it with crayons. It appeared to be very old, broken pieces off wood stuck out. I flipped up the small metal clasp that held it together. My eyes immediately saw the envelopes. Names written sloppily across it. Must be Kakkarot's handwriting. I didn't know he could write. Let alone spell my name right. I picked it up the top card, my name written on it and I brought the white envelope towards me. The scent of Kakkarot and wax filled my senses. His sweet scent that I already miss . . .I opened the back of the card and pulled out the piece of paper that was inside it.

To be continued . . .