Thank you all! You've all been so great! I appreciate every single comment and PM!

The beginning of this chapter is all about Jax. It's just a small glimpse into his mind right after finding out he was having a GIRL! Eek! I'm still so excited about that! There's some good stuff in this chapter, and I hope you all enjoy!

Jax's POV

He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. His eyes were steel grey and set in stone, but the tears that threatened to spill down his cheek made them glisten in the yellow lighting. Jax couldn't believe the bubble of emotions that had threatened to tear from his throat when he heard Lana announce that she was carrying a girl. He had even gone as far as to slip out of the kitchen in fear that Tara might gauge his reaction. Every single piece of him was conflicted, and he was on the verge of being ripped in half by the fire that burned its way through him. A girl...a tiny, perfect, innocent, scary little girl.

When his boys had been born Jax had been proud. They would grow up strong and handsome, and they'd ride bikes like their old man. Abel and Thomas were rough and rowdy: frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails. That's what his boys were made of. He'd deal with scraped knees, black eyes, dirty faces. Jax hoped that one day he could teach his boys how to build an engine, not to mention their own motorcycles from scratch. They'd be tough guys, bad boys, and with Tara's influence they'd be successful men at the same time. With any luck he'd have the club turned back around by the time they were old enough to prospect, and he'd pass on his father's legacy to them...but a girl, that was a whole different ball game.

His little girl, his daughter, would be the epitome of a princess. He already knew she would be donned in pink with a little rebel twist like her mother. He imagined bouncy strawberry blonde locks curling over perfect apple cheeks, and big blue eyes melting his heart. Her big brothers would protect her and her daddy would break anyone's arm that broke his little girls heart as she grew into a beautiful young woman. Ugh, she would grow up and she would meet someone someday and who knew what would happen then.

Jax hung his head low. Knowing he was having a daughter changed his perspective on so much. Every woman was someone's baby girl. Every woman he had ever used, lied to, or promised false hope to had once been someone else's perfect little apple-cheeked darling. Tara...Jax looked back into the mirror, this time the tears broke loose...Tara had been a beautiful dark haired baby. An innocent child in this corrupt world, and he had taken that beautiful baby under his wing. And then what? What had he done so right for her in the long run? If a man put his daughter through half of what he had put Tara through, just a fraction of what Tara had stayed around and dealt with, that man would be dead in an unmarked grave somewhere outside of the Charming county line.

And what about Lana? He couldn't forget about her. He had taken her under his wing, in a sense, too. Sure it had been only temporary but it had led them both to this situation that was much bigger than both of them. He wasn't sure they would be in this situation in general if he hadn't have pushed her a little in the direction of his bed. She didn't deserve to be thrown into this life of single motherhood. Lana was a good girl. She worked hard, paid her own bills, was always there for Tara and his boys...now, because of him, both girls would lose their best friend. Lana would have to raise their daughter primarily alone. What kind of life was that?

She said over and over that it was okay, that she had chosen to keep their baby and that she accepted what her life would become. Jax wasn't sure if she was saying that to make him believe it, or to convince herself. If he had to be honest with himself, Lana probably knew that she was gorgeous and could find someone to help her. Jax reeled a little. Any man that got with Lana would also be with his daughter: tucking her into bed every night, reading her a story, watching her grow everyday. He hated the thought of his kid calling someone else Daddy but what choice did he have?

He could never be with Lana, and it killed him to think of his daughter potentially growing up to be in her mother's place someday. Even if Tara didn't accept his kid, he could never be with Lana. Not even if Tara left him, took his boys and got out of town. Lana would always be that reminder, that tie to his wife and a constant reminder of how he had fucked up. He couldn't allow himself to just brush this baby aside and forget about her, either. If Gemma had taught him anything, it was that family was most important. His club, his kids, and his wife were his top priorities, in that order...and that just dragged him down even more.

Jax wished with every fiber of his being that things could be different. He wished he could go back in time. Not just to before Lana got pregnant, but back to before he had accepted the gravel. Back when times were simpler, and the club wasn't involved in such a bloody battle. He was leading his family, his brothers, right to the front line and it killed him a little more everyday. JT's manuscript barely helped him along anymore. His life was all unraveling in a serious of unfortunate events that Clay had started and that he was now responsible for. What was his life anymore?

Jax leaned forward onto his palms, getting closer to the mirror and examining every fine line that seemed mar his otherwise smooth skin. He was getting older, so shouldn't that make him wiser? He was closing in on 35 in a few months and yet he was still fucking up his life like he had in his 20's. He thought of Wendy, then. His poor Wendy. He thought of when he had pumped her full of heroin in attempt to keep her from Abel, and she still remained relentless and came around. She had even earned Tara's trust, and yet he had crumpled her up like a dirty tissue he had shot his load into and dumped her in the trash. What if his daughter became Wendy? A junkie with a serious problem, scooped up by a wannabe prince charming and left pregnant and alone. He had left Wendy to deal with chaos by herself. Looking back now, it had been no surprise that she had pumped her veins full of heroin with a belly full of baby.

It seemed like a bad trend. All three women that were ever loved by him: Tara, Lana, and Wendy...every one of them was left pregnant and alone by him. He was hurt when Wendy had gotten pregnant. He didn't want Abel, at least not at first, and he hated that he'd have to be tied to Wendy forever so he just kept his distance and let Gemma do his bidding. He had wound up in jail with Tara. For 14 months he sat behind bars while she carried, delivered, and began raising their son by herself. Now Lana, thrown into this mess because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. She was carrying his child, and he couldn't even spare her more than a 10 minute conversation every few weeks. Some part of him really did love her. Even though it was just out of respect for the mother of his child, it was still there and he needed to start stepping up as far as being a father went.

His life was in turmoil. The club life was getting bloodier and bloodier every single day, and he never knew when trouble would come knocking again. That didn't stop the timeline of Lana's pregnancy though. That little girl would be in this world in just a handful of months, and as her dad it was up to him to take care of the things that her and her mother would need.

Chibs had approached him a few days prior asking about "Tara's pregnan' friend" and asking if Jax knew what she was having. He brushed it off, but Chibs told him to let him know because he knew some people that ran the storage lot a couple of towns over. He said that he had been over there looking for some things when he had stumbled across a unit filled with baby things for a girl, and the people wanted to clear it out for dirt cheap. Well, Jax figured he'd have to shoot Chibs a message and get the address. He had a few hours free tomorrow.

Jax cracked his knuckles and ran his hands over his face and down his beard. He needed to catch a break very, very soon. The bad days were beginning to outnumber the good ones, and he didn't know how much more he could handle before he broke...

The next day...

*ring ring*

Lana jumped at the sound of her cell phone chirping out the familiar incoming call tone. She had been very focused on the documentary about lemurs on the tv, so the sudden loud noise had startled her. She grabbed the phone and saw Jax's name displayed across the screen. She was expecting his call. It was just the day before that she had found out that she was having a girl, and had told both him and Tara at the same time, so it was no surprise that he wanted to talk to her. She knew that he hadn't called the night prior because of his staying home, but that didn't bother her. If anything it made her happy. Jax hadn't spent the night at home in a few weeks. Instead he'd been sleeping in the little half finished apartment that was attached to the ice cream shoppe. Him, along with Chibbs, Tig, Happy, and Rat had taken up a semi permanent residence after the attack at their previous club house. So to hear that he had spent the night with his wife was actually some good news that she welcomed. Tara and his marriage was still on the rocks, but them spending some time together was a step in the right direction at the very least.

"Hey," she spoke quickly, sitting back on the couch and placing a protective hand on her tummy. "Hey," his voice was low. "I knew you would call when you could," she said nonchalantly. "Always do," he responded. She asked him how he was, and they started a small talk conversation about how much pressure he was under from the club. Lana was a bit surprised that he was actually spilling some SAMCRO business to her, but she didn't say so and instead just told him that things would be alright. They talked for a few minutes about the details of her sonogram, and Jax expressed his concern with having a girl.

"How do I even raise a girl? Boys...they're easy. But girls..." he faded out. Lana smiled, "don't worry, Jax, I think I've got this." "Yeah, look...Chibs knows a couple people that are getting rid of a shit load of things for a baby girl..." "wait," Lana interrupted, her smile fading, "Chibs knows about the baby? I mean, that you're her dad!?" Jax scoffed, "no, he just heard you were pregnant and asked me to tell him what you were having when Tara found out. Says these people have a whole storage shed of pink shit a couple towns over, and for cheap too." She heard him, but she was still a little in panic mode, "Wait, he doesn't think it's weird that you're talking about my pregnancy?" Jax scoffed again, "Chibs is a good guy. He heard you were pregnant and asked what you were having, then he told me about the baby stuff. That's it, Lana. Do you want to go look at shit for the kid or not?" "Yes, I mean..." she started biting at the inside of her cheek "...yeah, of course. I just can't afford much right now." "I didn't ask what you could afford," Jax countered, "I'll pick you up in an hour. I'll bring the truck, and you can pick out whatever you like. Be ready, because I don't have much time."

She didn't have time to argue with him before the line went dead. The soft buzzing indicating his hanging up filled her ear. Jax said Chibs had no idea that he was the father, but Lana could't shake the feeling that something was off. She was so scared about some one finding out about her and Jax that she was always carrying around ten pounds of worry, but this time it was a feeling deep in her gut. It went beyond her intuition. Maybe it was just the fact that every day was another day closer to her due date, and she knew she couldn't push back the inevitable forever, but their was no way for her to get the bad taste out of her mouth. Something was going to happen...

...An hour later Lana was sitting shotgun in Jax's black pick up truck. They were bouncing down a back rode out of town so it was less likely they'd be spotted together. The drive would take them about a half hour or so, and they were filling it with small talk between some Lynyrd Skynyrd and Tom Petty. "How have you been feeling?" Jax asked without glancing in her direction. She shrugged, "I'm alright. I get sick less, but I get tired more often. I'm getting pretty use to being pregnant, though...I'm falling into the swing of things I guess." "That's good...and Doc said everything is alright with the baby?" "He said things look good. Listened to her heart beating with him, and he didn't seem too concerned. I need to go back in a few weeks to undergo amniocentesis and get my glucose checked but..." "what?" Jax asked, cocking an eyebrow in question and interrupting her. "Huh?" she replied, not sure where he had gotten confused.

"What do you have to undergo?" His brows were now furrowed. Lana sometimes forgot that this was the first pregnancy Jax was actually (somewhat) involved in, and that he didn't know what a lot of it entailed. Much like her with her doctor, he would probably ask her a lot of questions. "Amniocentesis? The way my Doctor described it is it's this procedure where they stick a needle into my belly, through the placenta, and then they suck up some of the amniotic fluid around the baby so they can test for abnormalities." Jax looked horrified, "Jesus Christ." She laughed, "pregnancy isn't pretty!"

He shook his head, "obviously not." They joked back and forth for a few minutes before going quiet again. They bounced around in silence, listening to Free Bird until he spoke again. "So, I heard you talking about naming the baby last night..." "Yeah," she started slowly, not sure where he was taking this, "I've been sort of toying around with names. I don't know..." "Any you really like?" he asked, keeping his focus on the road. "She was studying his features to judge his reaction as she answered, "sort of? I, um...I like the name Ava..." he nodded "and maybe Rayna...I don't know. Or maybe Ava Rayne?" He nodded again. "I don't say this just because I'm a biker," he glanced at her smirking, "but I like Harley." "Oh, but not because you're a biker?" He shrugged and smirked again.

Lana glanced back out the window pondering over a few name combinations in her mind and soaking up the moment. They were having a real conversation about their baby. This was the first normal thing they had done since her finding out she was pregnant, and she felt like it was special. Jax's opinion mattered on the subject, so she was willing to compromise with him. This was hard for both of him, and he risked a lot every time he called her and especially now. Taking her to pick up baby things. This was huge, and she truly appreciated it even if she was still unsure about it all.

"Ava Harley..." Lana said somewhat unsure, but loving how it sounded out loud. She turned away from the window to face him. "Jax," he glanced at her but kept his focus primarily on the road, "what do you think about Ava Harley?" He repeated the name, "Ava Harley," before a genuine grin broke out across his face. He looked at her again smiling, "Ava Harley...I like it." She smiled then. It was settled. The first major decision they had made together about their baby was decided. Lana patted her belly lovingly. "Ava Harley" she whispered, "I love you already."

Two hours later...

Lana carried in the last bag of baby clothes while Jax man-handled the pack and play and bassinet in one haul. Chibs hadn't been lying when he said there was a lot of baby things up for grabs. Sure, some of it was un-salvageable, but they had walked away with half a truck bed full of items she would need for Ava. Aside form a crib, changing station, and diapers, Lana was well on her way to being prepared for baby.

At first she had casually looked around, feeling guilty about not having the money to buy things herself, but Jax had taken initiative and had begun loading the truck himself. He had slipped Chib's friends a couple of bills and they had left them alone to take as mush as they wanted. She had tried to protest but of course he wouldn't here her out.

"Just set the rest of it over by the chair" she said, pointing to the corner where everything was piling up. "I don't have room yet." He sat things down, and Lana followed him out onto the sidewalk. He mumbled something about having to get going, and how he had some things to handle at church that night. "Church?" Lana was a little confused. Jax nodded, "it's what we call important club meetings. They're held in our chapel, and what's decided in there is what stands. Only patched members get to be present and their votes are the only ones counted." "Wow" she said, "there's so much I don't know about..."

Jax laughed, "yeah, and I'm gonna keep it that way, a'ight?" Lana just shrugged, "I guess...I just thought there might be rules I had to know about now or..." "Rules?" Jax asked, looking amused, "why would you need to know what our rules are?" She thought for a moment, "because of the baby? No? Do I sound stupid?" Jax shook his head and pulled her in for an unexpected hug. "You've got nothing to worry about darlin', you'll be fine. Don't worry about anything," he said over the top of her head, holding her to his chest. Lana allowed herself to relax against him. This was her friend, and he was assuring her that she would be alright. She was grateful for everything that he had done today, and she said so as her head was pressed against the cool leather of his cut and tucked under his chin.

"Naw, don't thank me...look, I gotta go now. I'll check in when I can." He let her go, calling back "take care of Ava!" over his shoulder and smiling. Lana felt warm, even though the grey clouds overhead made it cold outside. Jax was really trying, and she couldn't appreciate it more. She was still dreading the inevitable, but for now she would let herself enjoy the new things she had picked out for the baby, and enjoy a day of no drama. She relished in the name they had picked out for their little jelly bean. She had really enjoyed her time spent with Jax, and she didn't want to spoil it by allowing herself negative emotions.

Lana waved as he pulled away before turning and heading back inside to do a load of baby laundry. Neither of them had noticed the black SUV parked a little ways down the road. It had driven by as they were embracing in a friendly hug, and had immediately pulled to the side of the road a few doors down. It wasn't every day that the driver took the route past Lana's house, but an accident had forced the truck to go the few blocks down and around on its way home. Coincidence or just sheer dumb luck, Gemma tapped her perfect nails on her steering wheel and pursed her lips. Jax knew better than to keep secrets from her...

UH-OH! Queen B knows something is up with her little Prince! What do you think is going to happen next? Do you think she'll confront Lana? Jax? TARA!? That would be a disaster, eh? The juicy bits are just getting started!

What about little Ava Harley?

I really hope you're all still enjoying my writing. I love hearing from you, so please review and/or send me a message! A few of you PM me regularly with questions, ideas, fan theories...I love it! I do my best to respond in a timely fashion, and love hearing from you guys! Reviews are equally appreciated! I love the ideas!

Thank you all again for all of the support! I'll post the next installment SOON! Xo. ~Harlow