A/N: Woah has it really been like… 5 months? Sorry friends I have been super busy with school and having two jobs. I also got Vice President of my sorority? So that's been taking up a lot of time too. But now I have come back and I will finish this and the two other fics I want to write after this one. So stay tuned and have faith in me, your comments about missing this have really warmed my heart so I've really been trying to push it out. Love you babes 3

Chapter 10:

"Wait," Feyre said, "He's the 'reason she died'? He actually said that?" This was supposed to be a serious conversation but Elain didn't feel that way, especially at the scene laid before her. Her sister had a large stack of pancakes laid before her, completely drenched in maple syrup. With her fork, Feyre cut a slice of sausage and swirled it in the buttery syrup pool on her plate before popping it in her mouth.

Nesta shrugged and sipped her coffee, she wore a pair of electric blue leggings. Their pattern waved out like lightening bolts against her legs. Elain stared at the untouched bowl of cereal in front of her. She had insisted on her sister eating breakfast before her morning jog, but Nesta was less than compliant. "Ugh, how can you eat all of that?" Nesta said to Feyre.

"I eat like this," Feyre quickly turned her head towards her older sister, "Because I work out five times a week and I don't get hammered every night." Feyre then turned her head back toward Elain and took another bite out of her pancakes, "Now. Back to this bartender. Did you ask him what he meant by that?"

Elain blinked, swirling her own pancakes around on her plate. She didn't necessarily want to tell them what happened. Because this was her least favorite part of the story. "No. He was in a hurry to leave after that declaration, and to be honest, I was kind of in a hurry for him to go too."

"No joke," Nesta scoffed, "It's always the hot ones that are sociopaths."

"Really!?" Elain exclaimed, finally looking up from her plate, "Always?" Nesta nodded, so she turned to Feyre, "Always."

Feyre shrugged, "They all seem to be at least damaged. But I don't think they're all sociopaths."

"Well that's great," Elain scoffed, "Great that you guys set me up with the hottest guy that you knew was going to be a sociopath!"

"Well what did you expect?" Nesta nearly snapped, "Did you want to hook up with someone quiet who had no skills in the bedroom? The point was for you to gain some more experience."

The youngest Archeon rolled her eyes and looked at Elain, "Ignore her. She's just irritated because she's hungover. Graysen is hot and not damaged. The same can be said about my boyfriend." Nesta muttered something into her coffee cup that sounded a lot like, "are you sure about that?" to which Feyre shot Nesta a warning look, "Funny." Was all she said.

"Listen maybe he didn't mean what he said," Feyre reached out and grabbed Elain's hand, "Maybe you just misinterpreted it."

"Or maybe you didn't. Maybe he is responsible for this girl dying." Nesta said.

Feyre glared up at Nesta, "Aren't you cheerful and optimistic this morning?"

"Well I'm not about to apologize, I don't want Elain to get hurt and it's starting to sound like this guy is capable of doing that."

This time it was Nesta's turn to roll her eyes and sip from her coffee cup, "I just think she needs to find out what he meant, that's all I was trying to say." Feyre said.

A spark of curiosity hit Elain, "Yeah. I want to know," she said.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Elain," Nesta said but Elain wasn't paying attention anymore. They finished their breakfast talking about Feyre and Tamlin, and some guy Nesta had been dating. Some guy named Tomas. After the kitchen had been cleaned, and the dishes put away, Elain gathered her books pretending she was going to go to the library.

It wasn't a complete lie, she was going to go there after she stopped by Illyria. The entire drive over there she had been filled with equal amounts of curiousity and confidence. But this all disappeared when she arrived.

She stepped into the open space of the main room. Elain didn't know how to fill. It wasn't like any other time she had been there. The main room was empty and only a few employees seemed to be lurking about. There was no sign of Lucien at the bar, but she did recognize the girl with silver eyes sitting atop the counter. She seemed to recognize her too, but acted like she didn't care. "Doe Eyes, what are you doing here?"

"Is Lucien around?"

"Nope. Sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah," She said hopping off of the counter, "Called me this morning and asked if I could cover for him." She chuckled a little bit, "Apparently I'm the only one, other than him, that can fend off fights in the bar.

"What's wrong with him?" The pit of her stomach began to twinge with worry.

The little woman with silver eyes shrugged, "I don't know but he sounded like death on the phone. I'll kill him if I catch it," Elain knew she meant it too. "Hope you don't either," she chuckled and Elain felt her cheeks warm up. The fact that this employee, or friend of Lucien's seemed to be under the impression that they were the type of friends that would share a few things, including a virus horrified Elain.

"Thanks," Elain barely made out, and began to make it back to the door. Slowly, she turned back around to see the small woman occupied with another task. The adventurous side of Feyre came out of her then and she ducked into the kitchen. She thought that she had made herself quite discreet before she ran into another employee. He was the man with long brown hair, it was tired up in a bun and he smelled like aftershave and wings. Cassian, she remembered his name now. He stopped and looked at her with absolute shock before smiling, as if knowing. Elain nodded at him before pulling the latch on the door that lead up to the apartment.

Closing the door behind her, Elain looked up the flight of stairs. She heard minor scuffling around in the kitchen before making her way up there. At the top, she stopped and knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

Elain bit her lip before saying, "It's Elain."

A low groan met her response as he opened the door. The sight of the bed had memories from the previous time she had been there. "I heard you were sick," she said with a small smile.

Another groan escaped from his lips as he stepped aside, turning away from her as he walked back toward his bed. She moved to close the door when he said, "Go away."

Ignoring him, she closed the door behind them, "What's wrong? Besides the fact that you're dying?"

"Let's just say that they toilet and I are suddenly on a first name basis."

Elain's face scrunched up as she took that information in, "How often are you throwing up?"

He shrugged, "I don't know… it's slowed down a bit." Without replying, she moved to the fridge. Opening the contents she pulled out a bottle of Gatorade and poured a small class. She walked back over to the bed and set it on the nightstand. When she looked back at him he almost glared at her, "I told you to go away."

"Here," she said, "Try it. You can't get dehydrated."

He shook his head, "I can't keep anything down."

She quirked her mouth to the side, "Maybe you have food poisoning?"

"I ate the same thing as someone else last night and she's not sick." She didn't know why but the green monster of jealous crept up and formed knots in her stomach. It made her feel possessive, she had no claim on him and she certainly didn't want it.

Setting the glass down on the night stand again she reached her hand out and touched his forehead. It was piping hot against her skin, "You have a fever too."

"You shouldn't be here." This time his voice sounded less spiteful. "You'll get sick too."

"I never get sick," she piped up. "I work at a daycare when I'm not at the flower shop so my immune system has an iron clad contract against diseases."

"Must be nice," He leaned back against his headboard, the ghost of a smile tickled on the edge of his mouth. Despite this she frowned at him. She glanced down at her phone, she had to be at work in a couple of hours but it didn't feel right leaving him this way.

"Do you have a thermometer, so you can check your temperature?"

Lucien cracked his eyes open, "I'm fine. Seriously, you can go. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I've been doing it for years." Then his eyes drifted close again.

She stood there for a moment staring at him. His chest slowly moved up and down, and when his breaths evened out she knew he was asleep again. He still felt hot too. She wasn't completely unaccustomed to taking care of people, whenever Feyre or Nesta got sick in the apartment she was the one to load them up on chicken noodle soup and cough syrup.

Biting her lip, Elain slowly crept out of the loft and five minutes later she was at the drugstore next door. Reaching for a basket, she began filling it with Tylenol, Jell-O, and a couple cans of soup. She grabbed all of these things in hopes that he could at least keep some of it down. And ten minutes later, she was walking back to Illyria. On her way back in she made eye contact with Cassian who only nodded, and a small smile was shared between them.

When she re-entered the loft, the bed was empty but she could hear him in the bathroom. "Are you alright?"

Several moments passed before he opened the door and stepped back into the living area. "Turns out, the Gatorade… not such a good idea."

Elain winced, "Sorry."

His eyes were droopy as he scanned over her, the plastic bags now sitting on the counter.

He flung the towel back into the bathroom with a sharp move. Her gaze drank up the influx of his muscles, how taut his arms and torso was. Even sick as a dog, he looked strong and powerful, sexy as hell. She mentally shook her head because now was most certainly not the time to have such thoughts. Especially with his little admission the other day, she wasn't sure if she should be making any of those observations anymore.

"You came back," He finally said standing before her.

"Yeah," Elain said as she was beginning to unpack all of the plastic bags.

She whipped her head around when she heard him chuckle, "And you went shopping."

"Yes I did. I just got some things that you needed." He went to lay back down on the bed but his eyes never left where she was.

He watched her through his droopy as she ripped open the package that held a thermometer. "You bought me a thermometer?" She nodded, "Why are you doing this."

Elain stopped and shrugged, "I don't know," She gazed over at him and locked eyes, "I guess because you need someone." She moved closer to him and placed a cool rag on his forehead.

It was a simple truth, but the words between them hung in the air. Before moving her hand, Lucien reached out and grasped her wrist. He expelled a heavy breath, and opened his mouth to speak. And then quite suddenly he shut his mouth, as if remembering how sick he was. Too sick to handle her-or anything that was between them. "Thank you," was all he managed to say before leaning back against the cool pillows and drifting back to sleep.

"Yeah I'm sorry," she found herself saying to her boss on the phone an hour later. "She's way too sick." Elain paused and listened to her manager, "Thanks for understanding, I'll see you on Saturday."

Elain hung up the phone, feeling slightly guilty about the last minute call.

"I'm guessing I'm the 'she' you were talking about."

She swung around on the barstool she had been sitting on, "You're awake!"

He pressed down on the mattress and lifted himself up on the bed. Propping himself back against the pillows that bunched against the headboard and rubbed his eyes, "How long was I asleep?"

"Almost an hour and a half."

"And I didn't get sick, that's one good thing. Maybe I can drink something now." He glanced to his left and saw that the glass from earlier was missing. He swung his legs over the bed and began to walk over to her.

"Oh no don't get up." She grabbed two caplets of Tylenol and handed him another bottle of Gatorade.

He nodded at her, "Thanks. You really didn't have to miss work for me."

"Too late- and besides I got some studying done."

He nodded and eased up to his feet, instantly towering over Elain. He cracked a grin when he hand reached out to stead him. Even if all of that bare inked skin made her pulse jump a little, she still remembered both nights. Both in her apartment and there. "What are you doing?" She said slightly blushing as she lowered her hand. "You need to stay in bed."

That half grin lifted her spirits even more, "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be okay, Mom." She stepped back again and blushed even more at the motherly comment. But that didn't stop her from watching him as he moved toward the bathroom. His strides were less swift than normal, and at the bathroom door he turned toward her, "You can stay if you want to." He nodded to where her text books were displayed on the living room table, "You can study here."

Elain nodded as her stomach did a crazy flip. He turned back and shut the door to the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on came a few moments later. And before returning to her books she quickly changed the sheets on the bed. Something he noticed almost immediately when he walked out, "You changed my sheets?"

He looked almost confused as she replied, "You were sick… I just thought it would be nice if you had some fresh sheets."

He stared at her solemnly. Like he was trying to figure out. A puzzle piece gone missing, and her smile faded. Because she couldn't afford to let him figure her out because she hadn't even figured that out yet. Just when she thought things were getting to where they needed to be, she got a call from Dad telling her how everything went to hell when her mother died. Her dad had never stopped to ask her how she felt, how she was dealing with everything. Other girls dreamed of castles, but she dreamed for a cloak of invisibility.

There was only one irrefutable truth in Elain's life. Only one thing she knew for sure was going to work. It was Graysen. Graysen was good. Normal. That was the plan.

"Thanks," he said breaking her away from her thoughts, "For doing this, being here."

"Want to try and eat something?" she said moving to the kitchen, "I have chicken noodle and Jell-O. I think I saw some crackers in the cabinet."

"I might be ready for some Jell-O." Elain took one from the fridge, and handed it to him. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a spoon. As his spoon dipped into the bright red gelatin he looked at her, "Did you eat already?"

She shrugged, "I grabbed a late lunch and snacked on some crackers while you slept so I'm good."

He took a small spoonful, "They could make you anything you want downstairs, it's wing night."

"That's okay," she said with a small smile.

He spooned another small bite of strawberry Jell-O into his mouth. The muscles in his jaw feathered as savored the artificial taste. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again," He finally admitted, "Why are you here?"

Elain swallowed and rubbed the side of her arm, "After what you said the other night, I'm not surprised you thought that."

He looked up then, his gaze slicing through her, "So why are you here?"

Alright, so this was how it was going to be. Open and complete honestly. They didn't care about how blunt they were with the other. So Elain opened her mouth and stood true to that, "What did you mean, when you said that you were the reason that she was dead?"

"Just what I said."

Lucien looked up and saw the concerned look etched on her face. Not exactly for this woman she didn't know, but for him. "So… you hurt her deliberately?"

That was when his lips twisted into a harsh smile, "Do you want me to make it sound less wrong? Do you want me to tell you it happened some other way, that I'm some other person? Is that what you want, Elain?"

"No that's not what I want."

"Then what do you want?"

"For you to be honest with me!" She shouted. Her words echoed throughout the loft and ended with such harsh silence that you could hear the people downstairs talking.

He pushed himself off of the counter and strolled back over towards his bed, "I'm never going to lie to you Elain. I'm not going to lie and convince you that I'm some clean, good, shiny guy like that doctor you're going to be with."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," Elain said taking another step forward, "I just want the truth."

"What does it even matter?" he said over his shoulder, "We don't need to share each other's persona life. We don't need to dig that deep into each other's truth. That would just make what we have… complicated."

Elain blinked at his words. He was right, of course. She didn't need to know him, not really.

"Would you kill the light," He asked once he had crawled back into his bed.

"You're going to sleep?"

"I'm still exhausted, so… yeah." He lifted his head up, "Are you staying?"

She swallowed again and looked down at her pile of books, "I think I'll just go." Lucien held her gaze for a moment longer before nodding and plopping his head back against the pillow. As she gathered her things she felt his eyes fall on her, and once the final book was in her bag his voice stopped her, "Or you can stay. Whatever you want to do."

Looking back at him, her eyebrows were scrunched at him, did he want her to stay? It almost sounded like he did. Gradually, she set her books back down on the table and moved toward the bed. She looked at him dead in the eye as she kicked her shoes off and climbed in beside him.

She eased toward him. His body radiated heat in the bed and she steadily inched closer to him, burrowing the tip of her nose into his back. He smelled so clean, fresh, from the shower.

Elain couldn't hold back a giggle when he protested at the icy feel of her nose against his spine, "Your nose is freezing sweetheart!"

A grin spread wide across both of their faces, and even though they couldn't see it. They could feel it against each other. "How about my feet? She said wedging them between his calves.

He hissed at the contact, "You need to get some socks."

She laughed lightly, "You have a fever, maybe this will help."

After a moment he rolled onto his side so that he was facing her. His russet eyes scorched her, probably spiking her temperature too. His hand found her arm and his fingers stroked up and down it leisurely. Seductively. Even sick, he was still seducing her. Maybe he didn't even realize it, it's just what he did. Who he was, and he knew how it affected her.

Elain watched as his eyes drifted shut, and without opening them he murmured, "I like the sound of your laugh. It's real and genuine. A lot of girls have this fake laugh. But not you."

She snuggled closer toward him, her own eyes drifting shut too, "I like your laugh too." She whispered feeling cozy in their own little cocoon.

"Yeah?" He cracked a crooked smile. Elain reached up and rested her palm against his flat chest. He let out a sigh as if it was someone relieving. "I laugh more since you came around." He whispered quietly before finally drifting off to sleep.

It left Elain, however, frowning. Because he must not have laughed at all before because as of that moment she didn't think he was particularly jovial. Still, she held him through the night just as he held her back. Her head was tucked underneath his chin, arms surrounding the other, like a lifeline. She didn't fall asleep until she felt his fever break around 1. Then she relaxed and fell into sleep beside him.