Tricks Aplenty

Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of SotL and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Anything or anyone you don't recognize is something or someone I added to the story.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent me the great reviews. They keep me going and going - this is a huge chapter, but I just couldn't split it. I finished rereading the whole SotL quartet so I hope to stay closer to 'canon' but I'll still add bits and pieces to my versions of the story. Enjoy! :D

"Remember the thieves' sign I taught you," George warned. "And if trouble threatens, use it!"

Alanna hugged him, blinking back stinging tears. "I'm going to miss you, old friend," she whispered.

George's eyes were overbright as he smiled at her. "So much more reason for you to return to me, after you've thought through all that needs thinkin'. Go with my love, Alanna."

-- Tamora Pierce, In the Hand of the Goddess

Kirah

George Cooper, King of the Thieves, stabled his horse and plodded into the back room of the Inn of the Dancing Dove. He was in no mood for entertaining company or for handling the business of his Rogue's Court. Earlier that day, the realm's only lady knight, Alanna of Trebond, and her man-at-arms, Coram Smythesson, began their long journey to find the adventures she had craved since she arrived in Corus almost seven years earlier. George understood that he would not see his purple-eyed friend - the woman who long ago had captured his heart - for quite some time.

Unfortunately, the vision of Prince Jonathan passionately hugging and kissing Alanna before she left on her grand trip to the south kept repeating in the Rogue's mind. Goddess! George knew he should be used to it by now, but that didn't stop him from wishing she loved him that way. He also knew that the noble lass' affections belonged to his royal friend right now. The pain in George's heart was almost unbearable and he wanted nothing more than to wallow in self-pity for the rest of the day.

Rispah, George's cousin and the queen of the Ladies of the Rogue, silently brought him a tray of food. She had been just as shocked as everyone else to discover that their little copper-haired friend, Alan, really was a disguised woman named Alanna. There was quite a bit of chatter amongst her ladies that they always knew something was 'off' about the 'lad' but they figured he just didn't like women. Of course, 'Alan' never showed any interest in men, either, but no one would have made a fuss about it if he had. Rispah still had a thousand questions in her head about this 'Sir Alanna', but she started slowly because she could see that her cousin was not in the mood to talk.

"Here you go, George," Rispah placed the hearty meat stew and coarse bread in front of her weary-looking relative. "Ol' Solom said you've had two bottles of wine already and that you oughta put somethin' solid in your belly. I'd be glad t' send Shelly in to see t' yer needs ... if you want."

"Thanks, Rispah," George muttered, his voice slightly slurred. "But I don't need - or want - a bunch o' motherin' hens squawkin' about me. I'll be fine."

"So ... our little 'Alan' really was ... a girl all along?" Rispah asked hesitantly. "And you kept her secret all these years?"

George glared up at his buxom cousin as he refilled his wine goblet and downed the contents in three gulps. "Yeah, it's been ... an interestin' time. Now it's done and she's on her way. I don't want t' talk about it."

"Alright, cousin," Rispah sighed and patted him on his shoulder. "When you're ready t' stop drinkin' and start talkin', I'll be here for you. I always am." And she quietly closed the door behind her.

Rispah saw that Marek was standing in the dark hallway between the back room and the kitchen. Rispah made eye contact with him and shook her head. Marek knew that now was not the time to give his 'king' the bad news which had just come from Port Cayne. Everyone knew that George cared for his little noble friend, but now that they knew Alanna's true sex, they wondered just how friendly the Rogue had been with the purple-eyed lass. No one was fool enough to ask questions about the whole affair, but Marek decided that now was a good time to remain the Rogue's second-in-command.

Kyprioth wisely chose to keep his distance, also. There was nothing he could say to his vassal that would help - they both knew that Alanna eventually would return to George, but the god also knew that that joyous day would be much farther into the future than George hoped. Kyprioth knew that his presence would only irritate poor George and he was feeling perversely kind at the moment. Instead, the Trickster dispatched two of his feathered cousins to follow the traveling lady knight and then he had lengthy conversations with others of his cousins. No one - except Kyprioth - took notice of the quiet departure of yet another crow as it flew down toward the Lower City of Corus.

George woke up feeling as though his head had been slammed into the inn's back wall a few too many times. He was paying the full price for his foolish decision to get mind - and heart - numbingly drunk the previous night. From the position of the sunbeams streaming through his shutters, George could tell that he had slept well into the afternoon. He did not remember coming back to his private rooms, nor did he recall how he got undressed and into his bed, but he was very grateful that someone - probably Rispah - had seen to his safety. He knew he still was not fit company for anyone, but the Rogue also knew he couldn't afford to be incapacitated for any more time than he already had taken.

Rolling over and pulling his covers onto his bare shoulders, George noticed a small black crow sitting on the inside ledge of one of his windows. The crow cocked its head to the side and looked directly into the thief's bleary hazel eyes. Its deep amber-colored stare was slightly unnerving and George actually jumped when the bird cawed at him.

"Go 'way, birdie," George grumbled bitterly. "T'ain't nothin' t' see here. No need for chaperonin' me anymore. You oughta be flyin' south if you want t' see ... somethin' worth seein'."

"Caw! Caw! Caw!" the crow sounded like it was chastising George, who was in no mood for a scolding - especially not from any 'cousins' of the Trickster god. The thief whipped out one of his small daggers and flung it at the bird. He missed and his target merely flew up to the rafters of the room and cawed at him some more. George glared up at the noisy pest and then looked at the place where his dagger was stuck through a black feather and into the wood of one of the shutters. He sighed and threw back his covers to get up and retrieve the blade, but then the strangest thing happened. The crow swooped down, pulled the blade free with its beak and took off through the open space in the shutters. All that was left behind was a shiny black feather.

George groaned as he splashed water on his face and put on fresh clothes. He knew his head would be pounding fiercely until he could make some of the special tea his mother, a healer woman, had given to him for occasions such as this. At first he wanted to stomp down the back stairway to announce that he was still in a bad mood, but he changed his mind and he quietly descended the stairs in his normal way. That was how he overheard Rispah and Marek's hushed conversation.

"I think I'd best wake him soon," Marek's voice was a hoarse whisper. "Two more reports from Port Cayne came in this mornin' and I shouldn't keep 'em from his majesty any longer."

"I know, I know," Rispah's husky whisper had a hint of worry in it. "It's just that ... well ... you know he drank all of five bottles o' wine last night. I dare say he'll be fit only for arguin' and complainin' tonight. I think we should let 'im sleep a bit longer."

"I dunno," Marek gulped audibly, "When 'Fingers an' me was puttin' him to bed this mornin' he kept mutterin' her name over an' over."

Rispah swore softly and whispered, "I'll go up, then." When she turned the corner to head up the stairs, she bit her own fist to keep from screaming as she came face to face with the scowling George. She backed away from him and grabbed Marek's sleeve so the man couldn't slip away. The thief's eyes widened when he saw the dark look on his boss' face.

"Ya heard us, didn't ya?" Marek closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Well, at least you're awake."

Marek waited for a tirade that never came. When he opened his eyes, George was leaning against the back wall with a resigned expression on his face. The King of the Thieves pointed in the direction of the back room. Marek and Rispah obeyed his silent commands to sit and waited to hear what George would say. They were surprised and tried not to show it, but George had known how his two closest 'advisors' would react before he began to speak.

"First, I want to thank you for takin' care of me last night - or this mornin' or whenever it was," George started slowly, wincing as the pounding in his head grew more intense. "I can't promise you that I won't behave badly in th' future, but I'll try t' keep my binges short." He smiled ruefully at them, and they cautiously returned his smile. "I want you two to know what I can tell you about our little friend, Alanna. She and her twin brother, Lord Thom, switched places when it was time for their trainin' because she wanted t' be a knight and he wanted t' be a sorceror. You've seen what a good fighter she is and, well, her brother has just become the youngest Master Sorceror ever. They're quite a pair. Anyway, Alanna told me and my mother th' truth a long time ago and we agreed t' keep her secrets until she earned her shield."

Marek interrupted him, "But George, Alan - er, Alanna - came 'round here all th' time. 'Twas him ... uh ... her ... who brought th' prince and all those other noble friends o' yours down here. How did you pull it off right under our noses?"

"As you know, the lass is a clever one and she has a powerful instinct for survival - just like we do. Over time, I taught her street-fightin' and all manner of useful skills she'd never learn at the palace." George sighed, ran his hands through his hair. "I think everyone just saw what they wanted t' see and Alanna was able t' hide in plain sight."

"What's she gonna do now?" Rispah asked. "She can't just roam around forever ... can she?"

George sighed. "Alanna's a practical lass. She knows our rogue ways and she'll be able t' stay safe wherever she goes. My mother taught Alanna how t' be a lady - though I doubt she'll use those skills much in her travels. I hope someday she'll return t' us, but until then, I'll not speak of this again. And hear me now; I'm not t' be bothered by any other ladies. My mind is set. Do you both understand?"

Rispah nodded and patted George on his hand. Then she excused herself to get him something to eat - along with his special tea. Marek also nodded, but stayed put because he knew he had to break all the bad news to his boss sooner rather than later. Brokenhearted or not, George needed to know about the troubling reports from Port Cayne and other places. There were also several new thieves and rogues about town and Marek wanted to give his boss his impression of their abilities and their impact on their court. Just as in any kingdom, the work was never done.

Mithros came to the Great Goddess and asked her how her various plans were going. He knew that the mortal realms faced grave dangers in the near future and he was preparing warriors for their upcoming battles. The god was quite pleased with the skills and dedication of the most recent groups of knights to come out of the Chamber of the Ordeal. His sister's Chosen One and her royal partner were progressing nicely.

"Is the Guardian of the Jewel in place?" asked the Great Goddess. "It has been a long time since we needed him."

"Yes, he's ready," replied Mithros. "And Yama says that her vassal also is in place. When your Chosen One travels east, she will run into him there."

The Goddess nodded. "Good, good. Everything is coming together nicely. The Cat tells me that Alanna of Trebond has become one with the desert peoples and that the Conté heir will join her there soon enough. He will become their new Voice of the Tribes."

"Excellent! That will be a great help," Mithros approved. "If he can maintain unity within his borders, the new king will have many victories."

"I only wish it was not going to happen so quickly," said the Goddess. "I see many hardships in the days to come."

"What about our meddlesome brother and his pesky vassal?" Mithros asked. "They have interfered too often. Do we need to restrain them?"

"No, Kyprioth is up to something, but it has nothing to do with our plans." The Goddess sighed. "His mortal is suitably distracted for the time being. I hope the thief will be ready - and understanding - when my Chosen One needs him."

Mithros nodded slowly. The King of the Thieves was a 'royal' in his own way, but no one could guess what mischief the Trickster had inspired. There was only so much the Conté heir could give to the lady knight, so Mithros joined his sister in her hopes that the Rogue would be able to fulfill his role well and faithfully when the time came.

George immediately took note of the tall, raven-haired beauty that walked toward him at the Inn of the Dancing Dove near the end of the evening mealtime. Every other man noticed her, too, but they all deferred to the King of the Thieves. It had been a long time since George had shown any interest in any woman, and he knew his court was watching him carefully. The fact that this new woman had arrived so soon after Alanna's departure raised suspicions in George's mind. The fact that the woman shined so brightly in his Sight gave him other suspicions. The fact that the woman's bronze skin seemed to have a faint feathered pattern underneath its smooth surface confirmed to him that this woman most likely was the 'distraction' Kyprioth had mentioned. George smiled and stood up to confront her.

The exotic-looking woman wore her black hair short and spiky and she had oddly familiar, amber-colored eyes, which were rimmed with kohl. She had high cheek bones and a thin nose, but her lips were full and lush and her smile was as dazzling as the sun's rays reflecting off the surface of the ocean. The woman's garments were all black, except for the multicolored sash tied around her waist. Six earrings dangled from each of her well-tanned ears and the small gold and ruby nose ring in her left nostril identified her as a Carthaki pirate's woman.

"Tell your cousin that I don't wish for any 'distractions' at this time." George fought to resist the woman's intoxicating scent of spices and the sea. "I have important work t' do right now. Please, just ... go away before I become more ... upset ... than I already am."

"There is no need for you to be upset, George Cooper," the woman replied in a sultry, foreign-sounding voice. "I am called Kirah, and while Kyprioth did ask me to come to you, I keep my own counsel. I merely wish to speak with you because you seem to be so ... interesting."

In his Sight, Kirah was dazzling and she radiated a sensual energy to which George, and every other male in the room, was quickly drawn. There was something else, too, but George found that he suddenly could not form a rational thought. Without warning, Kirah placed her palms on either side of George's face and kissed him full on the lips. The King of the Thieves was so startled that it took him a moment to fight against giving in to some very basic urges that he didn't want to feel at this time. Hoots and whistles sounded from around the room when the dark-haired beauty finally ended their kiss. George was speechless with shock.

"Hmm ... it is as I thought," Kirah smiled mysteriously and walked away. Other men called out to her begging for a little taste of what she gave to George, but she ignored them all and asked to be seated at a table on the opposite side of the dining room from George.

George knew he was blushing as he shook his head to clear his thoughts and he wondered what that kiss was all about. He didn't want to waste any more time pondering it, though, because he had too many other things on his mind. He did not like some of the newer thieves and rogues who had begun to operate in Corus, especially one named 'Claw' who seemed particularly nasty. George had decided to keep the man close by so that he could watch him and try to figure out his game. Rebel rogues still were causing trouble down in Port Cayne and George sent Marek there to obtain better information. He had been reading a coded message from his second-in-command when Kirah walked in.

The thing that bothered George the most was that he had not heard from Alanna since she left and he was beginning to worry. Kyprioth had promised help in the form of his feathered cousins, but there had been no word from them, so the thief sent two of his most trustworthy people down south to find out if she was alright. George was in a foul temper and no kiss from a mysteriously alluring woman was going to change that. Finally, he excused himself from the main dining room, so he could work in the back room in peace.

Kyprioth, disguised as a rich old merchant, sauntered into the room and smiled vainly as men glared at him when Kirah beckoned him to her table. The exotic-looking female pirate gazed at him for a long time without speaking a word. Anyone passing by the couple might have mistaken them for long-time lovers. They both waited a while for the other patrons to stop looking in their direction. The evening's supper crowd still filled the room and there were enough conversations going on that the divine companions could speak a bit more freely. Kirah sipped her juice and twirled a small dagger on the tip of her thumb.

"Well ... what do you think?" Kyprioth asked quietly, leaning forward to continue their ruse. "Will you do it?"

"No. He's too disagreeable and it would be a waste of my time," whispered the strangely beautiful woman as she continued to gaze into the god's sparkling eyes. "It is as you said before - the thief truly loves the Goddess-touched one. He still broods over her. I cannot turn him now, cousin. I will not try!"

Kyprioth absentmindedly pulled on his beard. He considered the 'woman' sitting at the table in front of him. Kirah was one of a few of his feathered cousins who occasionally chose to live among the mortals - as a mortal - for long periods of time. Sometimes she wandered about in crow form and other times, she became this intriguing woman who continued to draw stares from all of the inn's male patrons. Kirah had spent the past thirty years as the devoted companion of a Carthaki pirate. Although she was a member of the First Flock, she had chosen to stay in human form for most of her lover's life. Now that her mortal mate had passed into the Peaceful Realms, Kirah was searching for a new adventure.

"Kirah, cousin, I know George is a bit out of sorts right now," Kyprioth soothed, "But I think you could be very good for him - and he could be good for you, too. My dear sister assures me that it will be a long time before George may have the desires of his heart. You said you were looking for a new adventure - a worthy challenge. The King of the Thieves is a worthy challenge for you - he's intelligent, good-looking, and handy with a blade ..."

Kirah slowly shook her head and replied, "You are not listening to me. That man is deeply committed to the one woman - it was all there in his kiss. Why should I try to seduce him? What would be the point? And ... what is your rush, cousin?"

"The time George owes me grows very short and I would like to see him happy before I leave him." Kyprioth waved around his jewelry-laden hand in a gesture that was supposed to look nonchalant, but the crow-woman knew better. "You can take care of George better than anyone else I know. Your brothers said they would spy for him, but they are too easily distracted - they haven't sent back one report yet and George had to send out his own mortal spies! It's quite embarrassing. Now I have very important matters to attend to elsewhere and I don't want George to think I've abandoned him completely."

Kirah chuckled and said, "Your thief told me to tell you that he had important work to do, too. What is with all this important work, eh? When was the last time you played in your sea or relaxed from all your scheming? When will you take time to enjoy all the sparkly things in the world, cousin?"

"Believe me, I'll do all that soon enough," replied the annoyed Trickster. "I simply thought you might enjoy George's company for a while." Then he lightly slapped the table and changed tactics. "Alright ... don't seduce George. Just stay with him, be his friend, be his spy. All I'm asking now is for you to help him not to be lonely while he waits for his love to come to him. That's all."

Kirah sighed and flipped the dagger over until she balanced its point on the tip of her finger. Suddenly, a large hand reached out and grabbed the little knife's hilt.

"I believe this blade is mine." George's voice sounded amused, but his eyes were narrowed as he stared at both Kirah and Kyprioth. "How did you come by it?"

"Ah, George, my friend," Kyprioth smiled and patted the chair next to him. "Come sit and talk with us. I believe you've already met my cousin, Kirah - Kirah Crow - most recently of the Carthaki vessel, Jamillah."

George reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a shiny black feather. He bowed low in a courtly gesture and held it out it her. "Ah, yes, Mistress Crow ... I believe this is yours. I apologize for any distress my actions might've caused you th' other mornin'."

Kirah chuckled softly and accepted the feather from George. "My cousin told me that you were smart, but surely you did not learn such manners from him."

"Despite my chosen profession, my ma did raise me right," George admitted and sat down between his 'guests'. "So ... what brings you down to the Lower City, Mistress Kirah?"

The crow-woman looked sideways at the Trickster and then turned her amber gaze toward George. "Please, just call me Kirah. Apparently ... I have much to say to you. Is there someplace where we may speak privately? There are too many curious eyes and ears here for my liking."

George raised his eyebrows in surprise. He considered his back room, but he didn't want to chance anyone 'accidentally' bursting in on them. A mischievous twinkle brightened his hazel eyes as he thought of a better solution. The Rogue pressed a gold coin into the Trickster's palm, yawned and stretched and made a big show of retiring for the evening. He knew that his court would think exactly what he wanted them to think - that he had negotiated with the rich 'merchant' for an evening with his exotic woman. George stood up, pushed in his chair, and leaned over to whisper into Kirah's ear.

"We both know that you know how t' let yourself into my private rooms," he said. "Finish your 'performance' here with Kyprioth an' then join me upstairs. I really do want t' hear what you have t' say, but I don't want any funny business, understand?"

Kirah smiled at her cousin while she pretended not to watch George slipping away through the crowded room. Kyprioth's smile looked positively wicked as took Kirah by the hand and escorted her toward the back of the inn. Members of the Rogue's court nodded and winked knowingly at one another. It was good to see that their 'king' was back in action.

Up in his private quarters, George glared across the small table at the Trickster god and his crow-woman cousin. Kirah's face was serene, but Kyprioth's scowl matched George's. The Trickster was not happy about Kirah's refusal to distract George through seduction, but he was somewhat satisfied that his cousin was willing to stay near George and look after him once the Rogue's time of service to the Trickster was completed. George definitely did not think he needed anyone to 'look after' him - especially not someone who might try to keep his mind off of the woman he loved.

Honestly, George had almost forgotten that he had been serving his debt to Kyprioth for nearly six years. Soon he would be free! George felt good for the first time since Alanna had left. Unfortunately for him, neither Kyprioth nor Kirah would let George refuse the crow-woman's offer to stay with him for a while - they just needed to work out the terms of her extended visit. George demanded that he be allowed as much privacy as he desired. Kirah declared that she could come and go as she pleased and that she would spy for George only when she felt like doing so. The Trickster disappeared in an aggravated huff once they all came to their mutual understanding.

The crow-woman's voice was full of compassion as she spoke to the thief, "Do not be too hard on Kyprioth - he means well. The gods are very different from us. My cousin ... cannot ... understand love ... the way we can. I know what it is like to love someone the way you love the Goddess-touched woman. Dinesh was the Carthaki pirate with whom I shared a nest for many turns around the sun. I did not wish to be with any other male - mortal or crow - for the entire time he lived. I only returned to the Flock after my mortal went with the Dark God."

Eventually, Kirah won George over when she offered to help him understand the ways of a woman's heart. George was amazed at the insights Kirah possessed. The Rogue grudgingly acknowledged that it was nice to know that the Trickster wanted to take care of him in his own way, even though the crow-woman's presence was certain to cause some trouble until his people got used to her. Kirah suggested that she could spend more time as a crow than as a woman, if that would make things easier for George. Then the new friends talked and laughed long into the night as Kirah entertained George with stories of her life as a mortal and tales of her adventures as a pirate.

No one commented the next day when George requested a perch for a large bird to be placed in his private quarters.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this super-long chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Thanks! :D