In Memoriam

I was offering him everything.

And before he left me, he turned around and looked at me with sadness in his eyes. I still don't know why he would look at me like that.

Hey Potter… make sure to have a little fun, before you go.

You… might never get the chance again.

I smiled at his considerate words, and nodded my head in acknowledgment, which allowed him to finally turn his back to me.

As I watched the amber lines of his body fade away, I couldn't help but feel slightly wistful. I couldn't help but have a single moment, of wondering-

What if?

Could we have been friends Amber Eyes?

Could we have had fun together?

But I quickly shook myself of such useless thoughts, because wondering about something that could never happen, was a waste of time.

Still…

Having a little fun before I die? That wasn't a difficult last request to fulfill, and so as I turned and walked away from Malfoy Manor and the memories it brought with it, I became lost in thought on what exactly I wanted to do.

I absently apparated into an alley in muggle London, near where the entrances to the Ministry of Magic were. And as I stepped out and fell in line with the muggles walking obliviously around me, I couldn't help but become slightly puzzled.

Because I couldn't remember the last time I had had fun. I'd never really had any time to waste on unnecessary things, at least, according to what little memories I had.

Suddenly, a girl with headphones in her ears bumped into the man next to me, and her headphone jack pulled out of her phone. Her music spilled out into the streets for everyone to hear, and my eyes lit up at the upbeat tune. As I watched her blush and scramble to turn off her music, I couldn't help but silently thank her-

Because I had just gotten an idea that needed to be investigated.

~0~0~

I couldn't remember her face.

The memory was fuzzy, as if I was seeing it through a dark haze or through water. If it hadn't been for that song triggering it, then I doubted I would have ever recalled it.

In it, I was pulling a faceless woman up from the floor as the song from that girl's phone played on a beat up radio. It was an American band if I recalled correctly. The woman in my memory commented on this, and on the fact that her father used to listen to it all the time.

I remember liking the song, but also resenting it. Because it was beautiful, catchy, and fun- everything that I wasn't able to appreciate at the time.

A waitress stopped next to me with a smile on her face that looked painful.

"Are you ready for your bill, sir?"

I shook my head, and reached over for the menu I had been hoarding these past few hours, "No, but I'm about ready for dessert now." Her lips twitched like a crack expanding on the pavement.

Chocolate.

I recalled something about chocolate- a man with scars on his face and a gentle smile used to give me chocolate, and I remember feeling warm and grateful. I feel like I used to love chocolate. Maybe it was even my favorite once.

"I'll have the triple chocolate cake... and also the blackberry tart, the strawberry shortcake, and the lemon cheesecake."

The waitress dutifully wrote down my order, and then lowered her pad with a strained smile, "I'll get that order in for you right away sir, but just so you know- my shift is about to end, and a new waitress will be waiting on you from now on."

"No problem, have a good afternoon."

"You as well…"

As she walked away with a frustrated look on her face, I couldn't help but wonder what her problem was.

After all, I was a well-mannered customer who had been sitting here, minding his own business for the past six hours.

Maybe she was irritated because she wasn't going to get a tip from me.

I shrugged carelessly, and then turned my attention back to the phone in my hands. It was apparently revolutionary technology that had recently come out, an 'i phone' they called it.

It had internet access, a music app, and a dozen other things I couldn't even begin to know the purpose of. The man at the store was nice enough to try and explain, but after he showed me how to use the internet and music apps, I hightailed it out of there.

This phone was way too complicated, and after spending two hours having him explain just those two functions, I couldn't help but feel like a small child trying to figure out how letters worked. He helped put money into the 'i tunes' account he set up for me, but in order to do that, first I had to have an email.

I almost wanted to cry after he told me all the steps I had to do just to get some music on my phone- especially after I learned that I needed an email, because apparently everyone had an email, and the man looked at me like I was mentally ill when I mentioned not having one and also not knowing how to set one up.

And then after all that was done, I asked him how to find certain songs, and even mentioned that I knew a few of the lyrics. He said an app called 'You Tube' was my best bet, which was a free music app that didn't need any additional steps past downloading it.

I almost blew off his head when he said that with his salesman smile and twinkling eyes.

That fucking bastard.

After that reveal, I picked out some headphones, paid, and left. But not before cursing him with some very painful boils in some very sensitive places.

I paid with transfigured money, and was somewhat regretful to the fact that it was a permanent transfiguration. Because if those pounds had turned back into newsprint, I wanted that bastard Jerry to take the blame and get fired.

But I digress, boils on around his pelvis and arse should be a sufficient enough punishment for wasting my time I suppose.

As I opened the You Tube app and typed the lyrics of the song I remembered in the search bar, I couldn't help but curse the 'touch screen' with every fiber of my being; because my fingers kept clicking the wrong letter every other letter because the damn keyboard was so fucking small.

… why did I suddenly feel like an old man?

Ignoring the mysterious feeling, I continued to struggle with the phone in my hands, and grinned when it finally pulled up the results I wanted.

After my first success, navigating the app became easier, and I spent the next few hours exploring the music I had apparently been deprived of my whole life.

From what I could recall, there were only a handful of bands in the Wizarding World. And after spending my day exploring the 'You Tube', I couldn't help but pity them and their limited music variety.

I'd become a bit of a music snob these past few hours apparently, and my favorite band so far was a group called Muse. They were interesting to listen too, though not quite as upbeat as I was looking for.

I glanced over to where the manager was arguing with someone over the phone, and smiled a mischievous little grin.

For the past six hours, the music that played in the cafe was not coming out of their speakers.

After I had short circuited the speakers with my magic, I subtly replaced the existing radio station with myself. My magic strummed through the air and filled it with the music I was hearing through my headphones.

Quite a few of my song choices had turned out to be either incredibly horrible or quite scandalous (that's what I got for clicking on the 'recommended' videos under the ones I was watching), but still...

The look on the Manager's face as they tried to change radio stations, or shut the 'system' down, was priceless.

I think this is what fun feels like.

~0~0~

When I was little, my cousin Dudders or whatever his name was- was obsessed with comic book heroes.

My Aunt wasn't enthusiastic about it, but she had to admit that she preferred him watching movies like Superman and Spiderman over the popular TV shows like Supernatural and Charmed.

Science and aliens were after all, at least somewhat logical- and not nearly as nonsensical as magic.

Hypocritical bitch.

But that was besides the point, now, the reason why this line of thought was relevant to my current situation, was because of something that almost all superheros had in common.

And that was a badass entrance.

They had tragic backstories, lots of moments becoming stronger, ect.

And looking back on all those stories I had glimpsed through the vent of my Cupboard, I found that they were in fact quite similar to my own.

But unlike them, I'd never had a badass moment in my life. It was quite disappointing actually.

Most of my life I spent reacting to the given situation- reacting to other people getting their moments- and maybe it was the energy drinks talking, but as I walked through the muggle department store and added another pair of pants to my cart, I couldn't help but feel like it was time to right this wrong.

My Master was the King of badass entrances and exits in my opinion- and while I couldn't hope to imitate his mastery, well… it still felt right to honor him in a way.

I confounded the Fitting Room attendant to allow me to take my mountain of clothes into a Fitting Room, and then spent the next few hours humming a catchy pop tune I had stuck in my head as I tried on various outfits in order to find the perfect one.

I had never experienced anything like this before. I had never been allowed to leisurely go through things and decide what I liked- what I preferred. Everything I owned and did in my life was either required, necessary, or picked out for me. This-

This was nice.

I almost felt…

… like I was allowed to be human.

~0~0~

I started keeping track of time again.

After meeting Ivan, I found myself with a newfound sense of purpose, and a reason to keep track of time. After all, what I was planning required the sands of time, and it wasn't like there was an unlimited supply in the world. I was still mourning the fact that I couldn't find more on my journey through Egypt.

As I walked by a newspaper stand, I took a moment to note the date. Today was May 20th in the year 2009, almost exactly two years after the so called 'Final Battle'. Almost two years since the death of Lord Voldemort.

Ignoring the twinge in my chest at the thought, I turned my eyes away from the damning date, and took a moment to look above the buildings and admire the reds and yellows that painted the sky.

The colors of this sunset were beautiful, and it was incredibly strange to realize that this would probably be the last sunset that I would ever see. I smiled a small smile, and my thoughts wandered back to Riddle Manor, where the sunset would be falling below trees instead of white washed buildings. I couldn't help but pick up my pace, eager to see my last sunset from there instead of here- but after I slid into the nearest alley to apparate home, I couldn't help but pause at the sight of something further in.

Two girls were being dragged away from the mouth of the alley by two men, and a woman was walking next to them with a satisfied and self-righteous look on her face. Both of the girls were screaming what I assumed to be each other's names, they had bruises blooming around their eyes and jaw, and I watched with wide eyes as they were thrown to the ground and the group of three began kicking where their defensive positions couldn't protect them.

"Disgusting!"

"Flaunting you're unnaturalness for anyone to see-"

"You deserve this!"

After listening to their disgusted remarks and their self-righteous speech, it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened. I had heard similar speeches in the past after all.

Those two girls were-

"Faggots!"

"Why don't we give you a taste of what it's like to be with a man, hmm? Maybe that will fix the sickness in your brains." Both of the men started laughing as they grabbed the girls by their kicking ankles, and forcefully spread their legs.

My eyes dilated in fury, and before either of them could so much as touch to zippers on the girl's jeans, the men were flying backwards and colliding with a brick wall. I didn't bother being gentle with trash like them, and so when my magic stretched out and noticed that their hearts were no longer beating and that their necks were snapped, well...

As far as I was concerned, there were a few less pieces of trash in the world.

"Wh-what the bloody hell?!"

Their companion quickly backed away, her face pale with fear- and the look of utter horror on her face when she spotted me, made it clear just how terrifying my expression must have been.

Of course, I couldn't feel the dark oppression my magic had tainted the air with- the pressure that was crushing the woman and forcing her to her knees. For her, it felt like gravity had multiplied tenfold, and that soon she would be forced onto her stomach, and then she would be crushed into paste when she had no room left give.

I also didn't notice how dark the alley had become with my negative emotions staining the air; as I sucked out all the positivity, warmth, and hope that was around me.

The woman's breath began to fog when she breathed out.

"D-demon! DEMON!"

I walked down the alleyway, a simple stride like I was walking down a park path and not going to deliver death upon someone.

The two girls had crawled towards each other, and were now holding one another with shaking arms as they cowered against one of the alley's walls, and watched me with uncertainty and lingering terror in their eyes.

My gaze never left the woman who was straining to stay on her hands and knees, and now that I was closer and could see her face-

I couldn't help but feel a stab of hate in my gut that caused her to scream as the pressure increased and cracked the bones in her arms and knees. I forced her to lie on her belly and prostrate before me.

She was too young to be her- too young and not nearly as thin or ugly-

But she looked enough like the woman who beat me - starved me - the woman who laughed when Uncle brought down his belt and spilled my blood on her carpet that she would force me to clean-

She looked enough like her, that I knew there was no way I would let her live, even if she wasn't a part of this vile situation.

"I might be a monster," I whispered as I squatted down next to the nameless woman's head, and reached out to grab a handful of her hair near her scalp. I wrenched her head back, my grip merciless and my glare steady as her screams pierced the air, "I might even be a Freak, but the one thing I am sure of in this world, is that my love for my Master is more natural then breathing."

I turned my head to look at the two girls shivering behind me, and gave them a small smile as I thought of my Master. I looked at them, and I could see a glimpse of what him and me could have had- I thought of how we could have been tangled together like that, protecting each other on an instinctual level.

"Loving him could never be wrong, and if you say that it's wrong simply because we're both men- " I heard one of those girls gasp as I turned my demonic eyes back to the insect struggling in my thrawl, heedless that her survival was an impossible goal she could never reach.

"Then I'm beginning to think that you are in fact the monsters- because you know NOTHING of love."

The sound of her screams were lovely as my magic speared through her eyes, up her nose, and into her ears. I ripped apart her brain in chunks, and slowly dragged them through her orifices even as her body spasmed because I made sure to keep her brainstem perfect and undamaged throughout the entire process.

I heard one of the girls throw up behind me, and I also heard them start sobbing. I couldn't be sure if it was because of me or the trauma of their attack- but in the end it didn't really matter to me.

I dropped the woman's mutilated face to the dirty ground, and stood up while casually wiping the blood that had splattered onto my hands onto my jeans. My rage was sated, and I didn't bother glancing back at the girls as I turned and apparated away.

I had a sunset to see after all.

~0~0~

It really was beautiful.

Worthy of being the last one I would ever see.

I was laying on freshly cut grass in the backyard of Riddle Manor, a gentle smile on my lips as I pretended that He was laying next to me.

I could almost feel his warmth against my side as we laid there and watched the last of the crimson streaks fade into violet and indigo.

I sighed when I felt the cold breeze against my skin, and with it, the illusion of my Master's warmth faded. I sat up, suddenly too cold and too alone, and turned to look at the undisturbed grass beside me with empty eyes.

Tomorrow.

I'll be in your arms tomorrow Master.

After repeating this mantra several times in my head, I was able to fortify my heart against the ache that pulsed through my body.

I stood on unsteady legs, and took in the sight of the garden around me as the crystals that framed the pathway to the Manor lit up automatically in the semi-darkness of the evening. The nearby fountains also had several stones that lit up, and it cast a magical glow on the once muggle garden- like something straight out of a fairytale.

Riddle Manor had extensive grounds, and I had spent the past month or so trimming back the overgrowth, and turning it into a true garden. There was a section for herbs at the back of the house, near the conservatory, as well as a small orchard of apple trees past the show garden with its fountains and perfectly arranged flower beds.

I didn't bother turning it back into the no doubt prim and proper garden that was artificially perfect in every way- instead I kept the wildness, encouraged the ivy growing up a corner of the house, and the pretty weeds that were strangling those 'beautifully fragile' flowers.

It was wild, savage, and above all- beautiful.

And the renovations on the grounds were only a part of all the changes I had made.

After taking some money out of my Gringotts account, I had traveled to not only Egypt, but also to several other countries in search of the various creatures whose blood I needed. While in Germany, I came across the dwarves.

It was after I had hunted down an illusive and annoying as fuck Bavarian Erkling, that I stumbled upon them in the middle of building a summer home for some rich pureblood whose name I didn't bother to learn.

After asking some apparently dumb questions that had the dwarves muttering some unflattering things about 'ignorant half-blood foreigners', I learned that Germanic dwarves were very famous architects. It turned out that every pureblood worth their galleons in western Europe, had their manors commissioned by them.

When they mentioned this, I couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting to Riddle Manor. It wasn't a masterpiece of architecture, and every single inch of it was devoid of magic, save the impromptu potions lab I had created, and the study my Master had modified.

But I didn't need much, those two things were enough for me. I had spent enough time in the muggle world to know how to cook for myself in a muggle kitchen, and how to use light bulbs.

But in that moment, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen to the Manor after I left, and the thought of some unworthy wretch touching the things that once belonged to my Master-

It made me see red.

I blinked away the murderous thoughts that whispered through my mind, and thoughtfully watched the dwarves continue working while shooting me dirty looks- obviously wanting me to leave them to do their work in peace.

The Manor itself really didn't mean much to me, my Master had hated it on principle after all, but I couldn't help but wonder in that moment… what would it have looked like if it was a Magical Manor.

This thought stayed with me after I apparated away, it stayed with me until I found myself wandering Germany's Magical Alleys in search of the dwarves home offices. It wasn't quite a whim, more of an idea that I wanted to fulfill-

Because while I didn't like the thought of any outsiders dragging their unworthy feet into my Master's Sanctuary…

Well. There was someone in this world who wasn't an outsider.

After curiously browsing through several dwarven companies, I found one that satisfied my needs. After all, I didn't want a new manor built- I just wanted to renovate one (and luckily for me, the dwarves lived in a neutral nation that was not held back by something as petty as criminal history- much like the goblins).

And now Riddle Manor, once an extravagant (but still muggle) home, was now 'officially' foreclosed on, and hidden behind wards that would have made the founders of Hogwarts proud.

The dwarves respected my wishes to keep most of the original floorplan, but otherwise, they changed nearly every aspect of the house. They expanded the rooms, commissioned magical appliances, lamps, and these beautiful crystals that lit up the grounds at night.

They also added a Library, a proper Potions Lab, a dungeon under the house, and a Conservatory where I decided to keep some magical plants.

It was a perfect Sanctuary, a little slice of heaven which I was proud to have created.

And as I walked up the pathway to Riddle Manor, toward the kitchen door that was right next to the herb garden, I couldn't help but smile as I noticed the Servant's House in the corner of my eye. It wasn't too far away, and it positively gleamed under the artificial moonlight. I had the dwarves tear down the old shack, and replace it with a new servant's quarters that would accommodate any future house elves.

My eyes softened at the memory of huge blue eyes, and colorful socks. His name was Dobby, I remember that. He died protecting me- not because of who I was, but simply because he was loyal to me.

He cared about me.

I knew this to be fact, and I was also beginning to think that he was the only one who truly cared about me in the past. He was the only one who had never abandoned me.

Him and my Master.

I walked into the kitchen to find that the roast was still simmering where I left it that morning, and absently sent out a tendril of magic to fetch a bowel from the cupboards while I dug into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I pushed the 'shuffle' option on the music app, and set the phone on the counter as I scooped up my dinner and sat at the small table situated in the corner by the stove. Just a place where someone could grab a snack, without having to eat in the formal dining room. I ate here every day…

It was so quiet without Amber Eyes.

I tried to drone out the silence with music, but it still haunted me as I walked through the empty hallways of my Master's Manor, and I couldn't help but be uncomfortably aware of the fact that my Master had never walked down these hallways- had never seen the garden I created under the moonlight, or eaten food that I cooked for him.

But there was one place in the Manor that I had not allowed the dwarves to touch.

It was my Sanctuary, and I liked to think that maybe it was a Sanctuary for my Master too.

This was the chair he sat in, the table he worked at, and the theories he wrote out.

I smiled a small, content smile as I straightened up my Master's work at the table, pretending for a moment that he was the one who had left it like this, that he was simply out for the moment and that he would be back soon.

My days were full of small lies like this.

But after tomorrow, I won't have to pretend anymore.

My smile became brighter, more genuine as I turned to the table where my bottomless pouch sat. Amber Eyes had generously gifted me his old one, a pouch connected to a cord that would go around my neck. Its vast space was full of all the materials I had gathered for the ritual tomorrow.

I let out a happy hum as I opened the pouch, and began sifting through it to make sure that everything was where I left it. After I triple checked that it held everything on the list that Amber Eyes and I had written, I reluctantly reached into my pocket, and pulled out the final two items on the list that I had fetched earlier that day. My hands shook around one of the items, and I quickly stowed it into the pouch without daring to look at it too closely.

Tomorrow.

I.. I will deal with it tomorrow.

Swallowing back the raw want in my veins, I tied the cord around my neck, and caressed the soft fabric of the pouch before tucking it under my shit, and letting out a shaky sigh.

My eyes glazed over for a few moments, knowing it was there- knowing that my Master could have been next to me if I just used it-

Tomorrow.

My eyes came back into focus, and I sniffed back the tears that wanted to fall as I tried to smile and assure myself that everything would work out. That I would see my Master again- that all this work that Amber Eyes and I had done was not worthless.

That I could have a chance to right the wrongs I had done.

Swallowing back the bile in my throat, I focused on something more positive- because everything was going to work out. I focused on the memory of the other Master's pretty violet eyes. I thought of his cute little smile, and the promise that Amber Eyes had made me before he left.

They were the only good things left in this broken world.

And this was my last gift to both of them.

Normally, going back in time would cause this future to cease to exist- after all, I'm rewriting the past so a new future was going to be born.

Maybe it would have been kinder to not do this, but I couldn't help but want to leave this timeline alone- leave it unaltered so that Amber Eyes could live out the life he wanted without a Master (though I couldn't understand his want to be free of my Master, I respected him enough not to judge him for it), and so Ivan could have his chance to rule.

Because I knew my Master well enough, to know that outside of me, no one who could threaten him would be allowed to live.

I adored that little cherubim, and so I decided to instead create an alternate timeline instead of simply rewriting this one. My final gift to the two of them.

Of course, the Master who I ended up saving wouldn't really be my Master, just a version of him-

But I think that might be for the best. Because after all, there would be a different Harry Potter in that timeline- one that still contained a Horcrux.

And I refused to share my master with anyone.

Anyone.

I would kill my past self before letting him touch My Master.

...

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I am so sorry for this late upload, my computer literally crashed in the middle of uploading my chapter here, and this is the first time I've had reliable access to a computer since.

But no worries, I'll still be writing on the next chapter in my notebook while I wait for my computer part to come in the mail. Thank you so much for your patience, I really hope you guys like this chapter in spite of the wait.

I can't wait to read your comments! :D

Have a great day everyone!