Howard's Love

by Boosher555

Dark fic: Vince is cruelly attacked by an angry admirer, and Howard is left in shock. Will Howard's love be enough to save Vince or will it be impossible for the electro boy to ever heal again? Warning: Contains rape and heavy violence.

10. Chapter 10

Six Months Later

It was a Friday night and Howard had trouble falling asleep. It was only half past ten, and everyone had already gone to bed. It never used to be like that. Normally, Bollo would be out DJ'ing, Naboo would be up, smoking hookah, or maybe doing some shady shaman business that he could never be bothered to share with the rest of them. Howard would stay up as well, trying to keep himself awake by reading a book or watching some sophisticated documentary on the telly. He would normally try and stay awake until – much later at night – he would hear the front door opening and Vince staggering inside, drunk and giggling, falling over random objects in the flat.

But that had all changed now. Bollo was tired of being a DJ, Naboo just wanted more nights at home, or so he said, and Howard – well, there was no need for him to stay up late anymore. Because Vince had stopped going out at all.

For the past six months, Vince had been declining all sorts of invites to both gigs, parties and fancy club openings. He had declined all sorts of requests from old friends, even when they had come to the flat and tried to persuade Vince to come out with them. He had also stopped inviting all the people of Camden back to the shop where some of the most annoying ones amongst his mates used to harass Howard and mess up his pride that was Stationary Village.

Vince refused to spend time with people these days – refused to even answer his phone if he felt like he couldn't trust the person in question. His former overwhelming circle of friends and admirers had been narrowed down drastically. Besides Leroy – who would still try to drag him down to Topshop every now and then – Vince only bothered to spend his time with his flat mates. And Howard in particular.

If Vince hadn't been showing his love and affection for his jazzy freak before, he certainly was now. He did everything with Howard. Spent every hour of every day in his company, and his alone if possible. The odd couple would wake up every morning together in their new double bed, curled up in each other's arms, giggling and greeting each other with almost shy, tender kisses. They would make breakfast together before they went downstairs to open up the shop together as well. They would crimp and mock each other like they used to – but, unlike the times at the zoo, they would now kiss and make up immediately. Especially if one of them seemed to take offense.

To put it briefly, Vince would stay by Howard's side 24/7. And not just because he sometimes still depended on him for help whenever one of his old wounds troubled him. Even after his body healed and he learned how to manage without his pills and Naboo's potions, Vince would still cling to Howard, looking up to him as the great hero who had saved his life and would continue to save it in the future. Vince would hug Howard from behind when he wanted to surprise him and then, if Howard responded well enough, he would hold on to his arm lovingly, like a cat who was looking to cuddle, and press a cheeky kiss to his face when no one was looking. Or even when they were.

Bollo used to grunt and leave the room immediately, even though everyone knew that the gorilla had grown soft enough to approve of his flat mates' openly display of affection. And Naboo – well, he would usually say something like:

"Do you mind? You already ruined my appetite once by snogging at the breakfast table…"

And Vince, he would giggle and be cute as ever as he hid his face in the nape of Howard's neck, blushing like a teenage girl in love. And Howard would see this and feel his heart swell deliciously, and he would enclose the smaller man in a tight embrace and press at least a series of kisses down to his hair or his forehead, making Naboo roll his eyes and leave the room as well.

"Ballbags…"

But Howard knew that Naboo was secretly happy for them. He could tell by the way that the shaman would always indulge Vince whenever he was having one of his routine check-ups and wouldn't stop talking about how great Howard was. Naboo would order Vince to lie down on the sofa so that he could examine the healing wounds and make sure that nothing was infected. He would also prod Vince's chest carefully in order to make sure that his ribs were healed and that there were no pains anywhere.

Vince never knew that Howard used to stand behind the half closed door, eavesdropping on their conversation. The maverick had convinced himself that he was only doing this because he wanted to make sure that Vince was doing better and that Naboo was being thorough in his examination, but in all honesty, he also did it because he quite enjoyed listening to his boyfriend's rants.

"Naboo? Naboo, did you hear me?" Vince would sometimes scold if Naboo was ignoring the things he said.

"Yeah, you were talking about Howard again." Naboo sighed with a lack of interest in his voice. "Vince, please keep still…"

"Yeah, but don't you agree?" Vince would smile innocently and sometimes even bite his own finger, almost flirtatiously. "Don't you think that Howard looks good with his long, curly hair? I can't believe that I never noticed how handsome he was... He almost looks like a pirate. A sexy, dirty one, of course. Do you think that I could get him to wear an eyepatch? That would be genius…"

"Vince, please don't call Howard sexy." Was all Naboo had to say about that. "Now please, stop moving around. We're almost done for today…"

But Vince couldn't be talked out of his fantasies that easily. It was obvious to everyone that he had started idolising Howard in a new way that was quite different from the way that he had admired the older man before. Howard Moon had truly become his knight in shining armour. Howard couldn't really do anything wrong anymore – at least not to Vince. And even though the younger man would still tease and taunt him about his jazz records and his nutmeg cardigans, there was nothing that Howard could do to actually upset him or make them start a fight.

Vince was devoted to him in every possible way, and when Howard stood by the door and listened to the way that the electro boy was talking him up to Naboo, he almost couldn't believe how his life had turned out.

Six months ago, a tragedy had happened and Howard thought that he and Vince would never really recover from it and be happy again. And yet, here they were – laughing and crimping together, deeply in love with one another.

Howard Moon never thought that he would say this – especially not six months ago – but he was eternally grateful. He had never in his dreams thought that he would be so lucky, so happy and so loved.

Life was beautiful, and Vince was precious.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

It was a Friday night and Howard still had trouble falling asleep. How could he sleep with such life and joy inside of him? It felt impossible… Especially when he could feel the warmth of his lover's naked skin so close to his own.

Vince was his, and his alone. All those years Howard had spent alone, feeling sorry for himself and dreaming about having his feelings returned… Well, here he was. Finally. It was almost too good to be true.

Vince had nodded off with his head resting on Howard's broad chest, but now he was being spooned in his boyfriend's arms. He slowly woke up to the sensation of Howard's moustache caressing his naked skin under the sheets as his shoulders and back were covered in tender kisses.

He blinked slowly, smiling to himself. It wasn't unusual for Howard to wake him up like this. It was quite a sweet gesture. It was slow. Sensual, but also cautious – almost as though Howard was scared that he was taking it too far. That he was crossing some invisible line.

Howard was being adorable, Vince decided, as he responded to the kisses by arching his back slightly and moaning happily.

"Mm… Howard." He whispered in delight, his voice throaty and thick with sleep. Howard was slowly caressing his shoulder blades with his tongue, and the tickling sensation sent a rush of blood through Vince's shivering body. "Howard – don't stop…"

"Wasn't planning to." Howard grinned almost wickedly and bit down on the pale, sensitive skin teasingly. "I'm only just getting started, little man."

Vince purred with excitement and practically pressed himself closer against Howard, longing to feel more of his touches. He could feel Howard's warm breath on his neck. Vince closed his eyes and savoured the tickling.

"Yeah, that's right," Howard chuckled, breathing in Vince's ear as he wrapped his arms around the small body, holding him tight, "you're not getting out of this one until I'm done with you."

Vince had turned his head around, twisting his neck and shoulders almost acrobatically, expecting to meet Howard's lips in a searing kiss.

But all of a sudden, Howard had let go of him and pulled back. He had only just heard the words that had come out of his mouth. Oh God what was he even thinking? The last time that someone had been holding on to Vince and told him that there was no getting out of it, Vince had been raped. And now Howard was trying to talk dirty by copying that maniacs sick behaviour? Howard bit his own tongue and gave himself a mental slap…

"Howard?" Vince sensed the sudden change. "Howard, you okay?"

"Yeah… Yeah, sure." Howard held his breath. He didn't want Vince to know how uncomfortable he felt. "Uhm, how about I give you a massage instead, eh?" He suggested smoothly, wanting to take things as slow as possible.

"A massage?" There was a clear element of surprise in Vince's voice. "But I thought we were cuddling?"

"I know," Howard said with a snort, struggling to sound normal, "but you're always saying how I've got magic hands, right? And I just want to make you feel good."

Luckily, Vince didn't suspect a thing.

"Cheers, Howard." He grinned fondly and rolled over to lie on his stomach. "How do you want me?"

"That's perfect." Howard said as he changed his own position in the bed, hovering over his boyfriend. He pulled down the sheets, exposing Vince's naked back. "Can… Can I maybe straddle you a little bit?" He asked nervously. "I just need better access."

Vince suddenly laughed at him. "Silly git, you are! Just jump on, you don't need to ask me."

Howard instantly blushed. That wasn't true. Of course he had had to ask him first. No one was allowed to just jump on top of Vince without permission.

"Right…" He breathed nervously as he straddled Vince's thighs clumsily. "Tell me if you need me to move, though. All right?"

"Yeah, yeah – just get on with it." Vince laughed again. "You promised me a massage, so quit stalling."

Howard smiled silently. Vince trusted him completely, even when Howard was having doubts about his own actions.

"I'm not stalling, baby." Howard brushed some of Vince's long hair aside and bowed down to plant a soft kiss onto his neck. Vince relaxed his body and sighed sweetly.

Howard was watching his own big, rough Northern hands as he began to rub and caress the pale, delicate skin. Sometimes he thought that Vince looked precious and fragile like a porcelain doll, and he feared crushing him with his own bigger, less graceful body. But Vince never said a word about Howard's size. He never complained. He seemed to love and adore every bit of the tall, jazzy freak.

Howard sometimes wondered why. How Vince could see so much in him when other people didn't. But then, he also knew that he and Vince were perfect together. He felt it every day when the two of them were crimping down in the shop, or were fighting over what genre of music to listen to, when they fell asleep on the sofa together at night, watching another Colobus the Crab marathon. He could feel it when he was watching Vince in silence, admiring the pointy, yet beautiful features, admiring the big smile and the sparkly, blue eyes and then feeling a tingling in the pitch of his stomach… And Vince would always notice his staring, and when he did, Howard would look away immediately, feeling mortified. And Vince would grin knowingly, allowing Howard to escape the room in embarrassment. Sometimes, though, Vince would walk up to him and kiss him instead.

That was what Howard loved most about Vince – the tender kissing. The hugs, the touching. Vince was always touching him, leaning against him, using him as a human pillow. He was being so open and honest about his feelings. And then there was his amusement when Howard was being shy…

Howard looked down at Vince's back as the massage intensified. The old scars spelling out the word "whore" were still showing, vaguely. But they would soon disappear completely. Vince never talked about them. Or anything that was related to the rape in general.

It was something for all of them to try and forget. Howard just wished that he was doing a better job. Sometimes he would still wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and with his heart pounding in his chest, because he had seen a glimpse of a hurt, broken Vince in his dreams. A dead Vince that was bleeding all over the floor, not breathing.

Howard would sometimes struggle not to scream. Or cry. Instead, he settled for wrapping his arms around Vince's warm, alive body as he tried to go back to sleep. He knew that Vince knew about his nightmares. And yet, not a word was spoken about it.

Vince interrupted Howard's chain of thoughts as he began to moan slightly.

"Oh yeah, Howard, that's the spot!" He hummed, curling his toes, and Howard was immediately distracted.

"Yeah?" Howard smirked. He liked the idea of bringing his boyfriend pleasure. "I give pretty great massages, don't I? Hence the magic hands."

Vince was purring as Howard massaged his shoulder blades with a firm hand.

"You're genius." The electro boy agreed eagerly. "Harder, Howard! Harder!"

Howard was caught between laughing and gaping in amazement when he saw how Vince was twisting in delight underneath him. Was he being serious? Howard was barely doing anything…

"You sure about that, little man?" Howard tested him hesitantly. "You know I've got powerful fingers."

"Come on, Howard, it feels so good!" Vince moaned impatiently and shivered. "Just give it all you got."

Howard caved and added extra strength to his touches. And as a result, Vince had to bite his lip. He dug his fingers into the sheets, clutching them. Howard almost thought that he was being too rough for a moment, but then he noted the smile that was forming on the little man's lips.

"Oh Howard…" Vince sighed again, clearly not in any pain at all. "That's perfect."

Howard watched his boyfriend grind against the mattress, breathing heavily. It was as though he could feel some sort of energy run through Vince's body. He had regained his strength all right – his spark. Everything that made him so bright, so perky, so charming – so beautiful. Vince was beautiful. Howard couldn't take his eyes off him. He was spell-bound. Just touching his smooth skin sent shivers down Howard's spine.

Vince took in another deep breath of pleasure and Howard closed his eyes, savouring the moment.

Then he opened them again, and he realised why Vince had been moving underneath him like that: Howard looked down at himself and saw that his hard-on was poking Vince's lower back. Since when had he grown an erection like that? Had Vince been able to feel him right from the beginning…?

Howard let out a silent shriek and jumped off Vince's back as though he had just been set on fire.

"Oh God!" He exclaimed awkwardly as he rolled over to the other side of the bed. "Vince – I'm sorry! I didn't even realise…"

But before Howard could even excuse himself, Vince was all over him. Jumping forward to straddle the bigger man's lap, Vince encircled his arms around Howard's neck and pressed their lips together passionately.

"Howard!" He groaned and pressed his body closer up against the maverick's. "Oh Howard…"

The kiss was deep and fervent, and Howard breathed in the sweet scents of Vince's hair products. He was surprised just how great it felt to be touched again and to hold Vince close – it had been so long since the last time the two of them had… had… Howard cursed himself as he felt his own erection grow bigger and throbbing. This had to be wrong. Howard wasn't supposed to get carried away. It was too soon. Vince was going to regret it afterwards. It was all going to go horribly wrong…

Howard almost didn't have the strength to break things up. Vince's lips on his own was something too sweet, too perfect, too seductive. All the memories from their one night in bed together were rushing back to him, and he ached to experience it all once more: The passion, the desire, the lust, the love… Howard and Vince had only had sex that one night, and Howard had replayed that beautiful scene over and over again in his head. He ached to do it all again.

But how could he? Vince was still vulnerable. It wouldn't feel right. Howard was supposed to do the responsible thing. The gentle thing. How could Vince possibly be ready?

Vince must have felt Howard's boner twitch in agony because the kiss almost grew desperate from that moment on. Vince's hands were everywhere all of a sudden; in Howard's hair, caressing Howard's cheeks, feeling their way down Howard's body, trying to bring the two of them closer by tightening their grip around Howard's naked back. Then Vince began trailing his kisses downwards… He moved away from Howard's lips and began to kiss his jaw, then his neck, then his chest, his stomach… Howard knew exactly where this was going. Oh God.

"Vince." Howard took in a sharp breath and pulled away, but Vince's arms were still around his middle. "Vince, wait – please stop."

However, it wasn't until Howard grabbed Vince's hands and pulled them off him, gently, that he stopped.

Vince looked up at him in confusion. Or perhaps it was a look of hurt. Howard looked away.

"Howard?" Vince was still slightly out of breath from the kiss.

"I'm sorry," Howard whispered, feeling utterly useless, "but I don't think it would be a good idea. It's not that I don't want to, believe me…"

"I do believe you." Vince then said and smirked. Howard noticed that he was still looking down at his erection, and it was revealing just how much he wanted it.

Howard smiled apologetically. "Vince, I'm scared." He heard himself admitting. Even if he felt stupid for saying it.

Vince frowned his brow, looking worried all of a sudden. "Of what?" He asked. "Me?"

"Don't be daft, little man." Howard let out a nervous chuckle. "How could I be scared of you? It's just that I'm – I'm scared of, you know… Hurting you."

"Howard, you could never hurt me." Vince reached out and took Howard's hands in his own. "Come on. Please?"

Howard looked away again and shook his head. "No. Vince, you're not ready yet."

"Yes I am!" Vince protested. "Howard, it's been six months. I'm not scared anymore."

"But I am." Howard could barely recognise his own voice. "Please, can't we just forget about it? Just for now?"

"Howard, you're scared of touching me!" Vince spoke melodramatically. "How am I supposed to forget that?"

Howard closed his eyes. This was agony. "I don't know." He whispered.

The room fell silent for a moment. Vince slowly let go of Howard's hands, and so they were sitting on each side of the bed, no longer touching each other.

"Howard, I love you." Vince whispered just before things got painfully awkward.

"I love you, too." Howard responded immediately, meaning it with all his heart.

"You're not gonna break me." Vince then said. "I promise."

"How can you be so sure?" Howard demanded, still struggling to know what was right and wrong. Naboo would kill him if he knew… But did Naboo have to know? And was Naboo even right when he decided that Vince was off limits?

"You didn't break me the first time, did you?" Vince offered him a cocky smile. "Remember, Howard? We were pretty genius together, weren't we?"

"Yeah, we were." Howard agreed, remembering. That night had been absolute magic. The best experience in Howard's life. "Vince, you know how much I loved being with you. But I just worry that this time won't be as good. For you, I mean."

"It will, Howard, I promise! I want you so much." Vince leaned in, eagerly. "How about this. I will let you know if it doesn't feel good, and that way you don't have to worry so much about everything. How does that sound?"

Howard thought about it for a moment. "I suppose that might work." He pondered. "If you promise that you'll be honest with me." He then added.

"Yeah, yeah – come here, you berk!" Vince went back to kissing him all over, pulling Howard close. And this time, Howard wasn't strong enough to argue with his little man.

They ended up rolling around on the bed, falling in and out of each other's arms, closing the gap between them each time. Vince was lying on top of Howard when he began to trail kisses down the broad chest again, taking his time to do a thorough job. Howard was breathing heavily. Vince licked his nipple and his boner grew harder once more.

Vince was moving downwards. It was only making Howard feel even more excited.

"Do you want us to take things slow?" Vince asked him attentively, looking up to study the look on Howard's face.

Howard knew what this question meant. His breath got stuck in his throat and he couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't want Vince to stop, but he didn't want him to take it too far either… As long as Vince was in control, he was going to be all right. Wasn't he?

Vince grinned, interpreting Howard's silence.

"All right then."

And suddenly, Howard felt a warm mouth closing around the tip of his penis, taking him in. He gasped loudly – then blushed in embarrassment. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. Bloody hell. He never knew that it was supposed to feel so heavenly delightful. Or maybe it was just Vince making everything so perfect. Howard fought back the urge to thrust upwards, but laid back and closed his eyes instead.

"Oh God…" Howard groaned as Vince's lips went up and down his length, his tongue twirling around the head. He had never before experienced such an instant pleasure. "Oh God, yes – yes! Yes! Oh, Vince…"

Vince smirked, knowing that Howard hadn't expected to enjoy anything oral, but now he was practically squirming in delight. He sped up just slightly, just to see the maverick's reaction. Howard squeaked and grabbed the bedsheets, seemingly very close to coming. Vince had never seen a smile that broad on Howard's lips…

He paused suddenly and drew back, just to tease the older man slightly and make him beg for more. And his plan worked – Howard immediately complained and let out a disappointed moan. Vince chuckled and stalled a little longer before bringing his lips back to the tip. But he was too slow. Howard was so desperate for more that he got carried away for a moment and grabbed Vince's head, keeping him still as he pushed himself back inside. Vince immediately gagged as Howard practically hit the back of his throat and, by instinct, he drew back in one swift movement.

"Easy there, tiger." Vince laughed as he coughed a couple of times. It hadn't even been that bad – he just hadn't been prepared for it. "Howard?"

But when Vince looked up at his boyfriend, Howard looked absolutely horrified. His mouth had fallen open, and his eyes were big and wide for a change.

"Oh fuck!" Howard exclaimed in a panicky voice and sat up in the bed, feeling so shocked and embarrassed that he actually thought about fleeing the room. "Bloody hell, Vince, I'm so, so sorry! I don't know what came over me – I didn't mean to do that, I swear! Please, forgive me…"

Vince almost didn't know what to say. Was Howard being serious?

"I'll forgive you if you shut up and put it in me before you fall limp again…" Vince joked and cocked his head charmingly. Just looking at Howard's expression made him struggle not to laugh.

"How can you joke about this?!" Howard spluttered. "Vince, I crossed the line – I completely lost control of myself and you're just making jokes?"

"Calm down, Howard," Vince sighed and rolled his eyes, "you just got a little passionate, is all. That's supposed to happen during sex, remember?"

Howard shook his head. "No – no," he breathed, "this is not what's supposed to happen. I had no right to do it. Vince, I forced myself upon you. How could I do such a thing?"

"Howard, I really wouldn't call it that. You didn't force yourself upon me." Vince's voice was pretty serious this time. It suddenly annoyed him that Howard didn't know the difference. "Forcing yourself upon someone means not stopping when they ask you to. I never asked you to stop…"

But Howard wasn't having it. He climbed out of the bed, not knowing what to do with himself. "I'm sorry, but this was a mistake." He said. "We never should have started anything tonight, Vince. You're not ready. We're not ready… I don't want to ruin what we have."

Howard began to search the floor for his pants, contemplating that he should probably spend the night on the sofa, but Vince jumped off the bed and ran towards him before that happened. He wrapped his arms around Howard's torso and rested his head against Howard's chest.

"Nothing's ruined, you ballbag," he whispered, "I want you, all right? I'm not scared of you. You're always allowed to touch me, Howard. Always. Your touches couldn't hurt me and, you know, it's not like sex is a sin. What that – that man did to me… It was something else. It had nothing to do with sex. It was all about hurting me, he just used sex to do it. But with you, Howard… With you, everything feels so right. So good. I always feel safe with you. So if you don't want us to have sex – fine. I can live with that. But please don't run away from me."

Howard was speechless. He felt how Vince actually snuggled into him, relaxing his body. He realised that he was telling the truth – Vince really did feel safe around him.

"Sorry, baby – you're right." Howard swallowed the lump in his throat. "I shouldn't run away. I guess I just… panicked."

"It's okay." Vince whispered. "Just stay, all right?"

"Yeah." Howard wrapped his arms around the smaller body that was now pressed against him. "Of course I'll stay."

Howard buried his face in Vince's hair. He couldn't help but to smell it, and it was enough to make his cock twitch again. Perhaps the little man was being all seductive on purpose…

Howard pressed a soft kiss to Vince's forehead and ended up carrying him back to bed, just for the sake of a romantic gesture. Vince smiled calmly and allowed Howard to put him down on the mattress. He knew that Howard sometimes saw him as a damsel in distress, but he didn't want him to keep worrying over every little thing. He was all right now. He had healed. He was more in love than ever and he was happy.

"Howard, you don't have to treat me like a victim anymore." Vince whispered and reached out to stroke the older man's cheek. "You don't have to be so careful with me all the time. But still, thank you. I know how much you care."

Howard was hovering over his boyfriend as Vince laid down on his back, not knowing if they were going to sleep or if they were staying up to talk. Howard couldn't help but to smile. He felt like an idiot for being so over-protective. But he just couldn't help it. He never wanted to see Vince get hurt again – not by anyone. He loved him more than words could say.

But at the same time, it felt awful to have Vince offering himself up to him and then having to turn him down. Vince wasn't used to rejection and Howard could tell that it was something that made the little man feel self-conscious. Was it all a big fuss over nothing? Was Howard being an idiot for not listening when Vince told him that he felt ready?

Howard then made a sudden decision.

"You're beautiful." He said as he bowed down to press a small kiss to his lover's lips. "You're so beautiful, I don't know what to do with you."

When Vince didn't move away, Howard took a second risk and laid down on top of him, slowly. Vince didn't flinch or pull any faces. In fact, he seemed to welcome this. Howard took a shaky breath and relaxed his body, making himself heavier. His hand had already seized Vince's smooth, soft hair, and he was running the black locks through his fingers, playfully.

"Aw, Howard." Vince smiled almost shyly, and he looked genuinely grateful that Howard had finally approached him. The two of them looked into each other's eyes, and Howard forgot the world around him. "You're not gonna run off again, are you?" Vince then asked, grinning, but careful not to give him any bad ideas.

Howard shook his head. "No." He pinned Vince's hands down and then kissed him slowly. "I'm all yours. You know I am."

The kiss went on for several minutes, and Howard grew confident enough to not only pin Vince's hands to the bedpost, but also to grind their erections together shamelessly. Vince was moaning and wrapping his legs around Howard's, as though he secretly doubted and feared that he might make another run for it any minute. But Howard didn't.

They ended up having sex for the first time since the incident. Howard was slow and gentle the whole time, being deliberately loving and attentive as well. Perhaps it wasn't as wild and passionate as Vince originally had planned it to be, but he realised that he didn't care. Howard made him feel just perfect. The bigger man had him panting and biting his lip with pleasure, even if he wasn't moaning loudly like the first time they had had sex. But this was a big step for them to take, and Vince was just relieved that it had happened at all and that Howard woke up the next morning, not regretting it at all, but in fact looking like they would be doing that again very soon.

Falling asleep in Howard's arms that night, Vince knew that he had one fear less to conquer now. He hadn't felt any pain – he hadn't been haunted by any traumatic flash-backs. It was all good. Now he had to set himself a new goal. He didn't have to worry about reconnecting with Howard anymore, but, perhaps, it was time for him to reconnect with the world outside his window.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

A few days later, down in the shop, Howard was doing some organisational work on Stationary Village whilst Vince was sitting behind the desk, reading a cartoon. (He once used to sit in the red barber chair when he was reading his magazines, but Howard had noticed how Vince wasn't comfortable on the other side of the desk anymore. It was too close to the entrance and to the world outside). They had had absolutely no customers for hours now, and the afternoon was passing very slowly.

Then the doorbell rang, and even though Howard pretended not to notice, Vince flinched visibly. They both looked up as three of Vince's old friends appeared.

"Oi – Vince mate!" One of them shouted loudly and grinned. "Where have you been?"

"Yeah, mate, we haven't seen you in ages!" A second one added.

"You never answer your phone anymore when I ring you," the third guy butted in, "did you lose it or something?"

Vince was too taken aback to even speak. He and Howard exchanged nervous looks, but there was no way out of this one. Questions were being asked and answers had to be made up.

"Uhm… Yeah." Vince lied nervously, not knowing what else to do. "Yeah, I lost it. Can't find it anywhere, that bloody thing. Sorry, Connor."

Howard was looking down in the floor awkwardly. He didn't blame Vince for lying. He just hoped that his mates would be thick enough to actually buy it.

"Bummer." One of the lads said, looking confused. "Have you tried ringing it? From another number, I mean."

Vince let out a shaky breath and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, I've tried everything!" He tried to sound as casual as possible. "Guess I'll just have to wait for it to turn up."

The three mates were now walking around in the shop, picking stuff down from the shelves, touching and inspecting whatever they found interesting. Howard shivered inwardly – he didn't like it when people he barely knew invaded his privacy like this and left their finger prints all over the place. He prayed to God that they would at least leave his precious Stationary Village alone.

"So how come you haven't been around for so long, mate?" One of the guys asked Vince, walking up to stand by the desk. "Rumour has it that you've been avoiding everyone in Camden. That you have barely left the flat. Are you ill or something?"

"Yeah, Vince, it's so unlike you. You're beginning to make us worried about you. Are you ill, seriously?"

Vince looked pale and uncomfortable now. Almost as though he really was ill.

"I'm fine!" He squeaked, close to revealing himself. "Honestly, everything's fine, I've just been… busy. Really, really busy. Too busy to leave the shop, most days."

His friends didn't really seem to buy it. Howard was still trying to avoid looking at any of them. This was bloody awkward.

"Are you sure, mate?" The fellow named Connor asked sceptically. "I mean, you don't look too good. Your cheeks have lost their colour and all."

Vince shrugged again. "I've always been pale." He said. "It's the new look, anyway. The best look. I'm the Shoreditch vampire, remember?"

"Nah, it's gotta be more than that, Vince," Connor argued, "you've got a wrinkle between your eyebrows. Like you're bothered about something. You've never had any wrinkles before. Are you sure everything's all right?"

"Well, all the work I've been doin' in the shop gives me headaches." Vince explained, even though it was painfully evident that the shop hadn't been busy at all. "You know that I sometimes get migraines when I work hard. That's all. In fact, I kind of need to go upstairs and, uhm, take my pills for it. I really wish I could stay and catch up with you guys, but it's only getting worse…"

Vince quickly excused himself, said goodbye to his friends and escaped upstairs. Howard watched the three guys exchange confused looks, but they soon decided to give up on the idea of persuading Vince to come along with them. They quickly left the shop, disappointed that none of their questions about the prince of Camden had been answered.

"Laters, Harold." One of them nodded, closing the door behind them.

"It's Howard, actually…" Howard corrected him awkwardly even though they had already left. He knew that most of Vince's friends didn't really like him or notice him, but he didn't mind. Sometimes it was better to be anonymous.

Howard decided to close up the shop early so that he could go upstairs and check up on Vince. It wasn't like any customers were going to show up, anyway. He felt sure that Naboo wouldn't mind. But just as he was locking the door, he noticed that Vince's friends were still standing outside the shop, smoking cigarettes. He could hear them talking, even through the glass.

"I don't believe any of it," Connor said to the others, "this isn't like Vince. He would never stay home to work in the shop. He hates working."

"Yeah, he's really changed. He isn't acting himself at all."

"He's been weird ever since he and that jazzy freak got involved."

"Harold must be the most boring boyfriend in the world. I don't know what Vince sees in him. He's probably the one who forces him to stay home every day."

"Nah, that's just what any relationship does to you." Connor said. "It makes you all old and boring. Look at Vince – he doesn't even go to gigs anymore. His boyfriend has sucked all the fun out of him."

"And to think that he used to be the funniest one in the group… Such a shame."

Howard stepped away from the door, not wanting to hear another word. Oh God, he felt so sorry on Vince's behalf. He knew that Vince's friends were wrong and didn't know the real story, but they did have a point after all: Vince did used to be all fun-loving and outgoing. He used to enjoy gigs, clubbing, getting drunk and dancing at his friends' parties… He didn't do any of that anymore. Not because of his and Howard's relationship, but because of what had happened to him. His confidence had been shattered. He didn't know how to enjoy himself anymore.

It was breaking Howard's heart to realise all of this. He had never wanted Vince to change. He had never wanted for him to quit everything that he used to enjoy. He was beginning to wonder if Vince really was as happy as he claimed to be? Was it possible that he was merely pretending to be happy just to keep Howard from worrying?

Vince seemed more than happy to be with Howard, but perhaps he didn't have to give up on his old life. He was still young and popular, after all. He had friends all over Camden asking for him, missing him. Howard wanted to be selfish and keep Vince to himself, but it didn't feel right.

He had to help Vince rediscover the abandoned parts of the life he had had before. He had to help Vince get out more so that he could enjoy himself and meet people again. It was part of Vince's person and Howard couldn't allow him to quit his social life.

Step one: Talking Vince into leaving the flat.

Howard left the shop and walked upstairs to find Vince and ask him if he wanted to go out for dinner tomorrow night. But as he reached the bedroom, he found Vince sitting on the bed, crying his eyes out. Sobbing because his friends had been able to feel the change in him. He was officially no longer Vince Noir, rock n' roll star. He was just someone who had been hurt, broken and defeated. He was just the shadow of his old self, and the realisation was terrifying him.

As Howard sat down next to him, Vince pressed his face to Howard's chest and threw his arms around him desperately. Howard shushed him and padded his back, soothingly.

"It's okay, baby." Howard whispered. "You're okay."

"I've lost all my friends," Vince wept sorrowfully, "they all think I'm a freak now."

Howard managed to make his little man stop crying eventually, but he felt like he understood Vince's fears. He didn't want to say goodbye to his social life, even if his mates could be well shallow. But he didn't feel ready to go back out there. Not yet. It was too much.

The world was a scary place sometimes.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Howard did manage to ask Vince out for dinner eventually. And luckily, Vince agreed.

"Is it going to be casual, Howard?" Vince asked him almost nervously. "Where is the place? What should I wear? Oh my God, I have no idea what to wear – I haven't been out in ages!"

"Not to worry, little man." Howard soothed him. "You've got many lovely outfits. You must have at least five favourite shirts, so why don't you just pick one of them and wear your drainpipes?"

Vince fell silent all of a sudden, and his face dropped notably. "I-I don't know…" He hesitated. "I don't know if I should be wearing my old outfits. Not outside, I mean. People might look."

Howard couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But Vince, you love your outfits! And you love it when people admire what you're wearing. Remember all the compliments you've had in the past?"

Vince almost flinched at this. "Yeah, well, I don't want to attract attention." He muttered solemnly. "I don't want people to look at me anymore. Just you, Howard."

Howard realised what Vince was trying to tell him. He didn't want people noticing him and approaching him again. Not after what happened last time he was given a little too much attention.

"Oh, Vince. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you into something you don't want." Howard apologised awkwardly. "It's just – well, you look so good in those outfits. I miss seeing you like that. It's your style. It's so… Vince Noir. The man I love."

"I know. It's okay." Vince said, hugging his boyfriend. "Thanks, Howard, but I don't know if I'm ready to go back to my sparkling outfits. Not yet. But I still want to wear something that you like. I want to look pretty for you."

"I always think you look pretty." Howard said and placed a kiss on the little man's lips. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you get yourself some new clothes if you don't feel like wearing your old ones? We could go down to Topshop this afternoon and find you something. It's on me."

"What? Really?" Vince's eyes glowed with sudden excitement, and it was making Howard's heart skip a beat. "Aw, thank you Howard!" Vince tightened the hug and gave the jazz maverick a loving squeeze. "I can't believe you want to go to Topshop with me! You've never offered that before!"

Howard smiled – this was the reaction that he had hoped for. Oh, the old Vince was still there.

"You're welcome, baby. I want you and I to enjoy a good night out together. I think you miss going out just a little bit."

Vince shrugged. "I don't know. I've just enjoyed spending time with you." He said. "But this is going to be genius, Howard! We can find you something to wear in Topshop as well!"

"Thanks, little man, but I've already got that sorted." Howard announced proudly. "I found my old tweed jacket in the closet. You know, the nutmeg one. I think it would look good with my brown sandals."

Vince shook his head, disbelievingly. He couldn't hold back a laugh. "Oh, you jazzy freak!" He teased, but Howard could hear the affection in his voice. "Come here."

Howard bowed his head, and the couple shared another kiss.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

At Topshop, Vince was admiring a tight raven-black satin shirt with long, elegant sleeves, and a lovely fur coat to go with it. (Fake fur, of course – after all, he was still a zookeeper at heart). Even though he would normally have picked something more colourful, more sparkly and glittery, he knew that he would still look nice and elegant wearing this. Black always suited him. It reminded him of how cool it had been to be a punk for a day.

Howard seemed to like Vince's choice when he showed him the clothes. He had tried them on in one of the changing rooms, and they fitted him perfectly. Howard almost couldn't keep his hands off him, and when Vince had returned to the changing room to get out of the clothes, the maverick had almost followed him inside that small, confined room just to watch.

"You can watch all you want tonight, baby." Vince smirked as he left Howard standing on the other side of the curtain. "Why don't you try something on in the meantime? I found that white shirt that might look good on you."

Howard took a look at the shirt that Vince was talking about.

"Really? You think I'd look good in it?" Howard asked him. "You like white?"

"Well, it's better than brown." Vince grinned. "Come on, Howard, just try it on. If you don't like it, you don't have to buy it."

Howard shrugged. He guessed it wouldn't hurt to be a little adventurous for once. He grabbed the white shirt and went into one of the changing rooms himself, hoping that at least the shirt wouldn't be too tight. He thought that everything in Topshop was ridiculously small-sized.

Vince finished changing first, and so he decided to wait for Howard by one of the smaller sections of the shop. He hated to admit it, but it still felt weird for him to be out among people. Especially so many of them. He kept looking over his shoulder, praying that he wasn't doing anything to make people notice him. Whenever he thought that someone was giving him a look, his heart nearly skipped a beat and he wanted to run back to the changing rooms so that he could hide.

However, all of a sudden it was too late to do that.

"Oh my God, look! It's Vince!" He heard a voice almost yelling behind him. "Hey, Vince! Here, mate!"

Vince turned around to see a small group of friends that he once used to go to gigs and parties with – and, unfortunately, Topshop as well.

"Oi, mate – long time no see!" A tall guy said.

"Where the bloody hell 'ave you been hiding?" Another one said.

"You look good!" A blonde girl added.

"Vince!" A girl with red hair exclaimed as she hugged him. "It's so good to see you again."

Vince smiled almost shyly, trying to hide behind his fringe. He almost didn't know what to say to these people. He hadn't seen or thought about them in ages. They used to do everything together, but now it felt like he had moved away from all of that.

"Nice to see you, too," he grinned, avoiding eye contact with any of them, "funny running into all of you here in… Topshop."

He felt awkward. He didn't mean it at all. It wasn't good to see them. It should be, but it wasn't. He didn't feel ready. He felt like his friends could read the shame and embarrassment in his eyes…

They all chatted away happily, telling Vince what they'd been up to, asking him why he hadn't been out in so long, inviting him to all sorts of events.

"It's my sister's birthday tomorrow," one of the guys said, "you should come to her party with us."

"There's this new gig at the Velvet Onion next week," one of the girls told him, "wouldn't it be cool if we all went together? We could go clubbing afterwards…"

"Oh yeah – maybe…" Vince hesitated. He didn't feel like doing any of that – not at the moment. But he had never learned how to say no to these things.

"We better be going," the tall guy said, and Vince felt instantly relieved, "but give me a call, all right mate? Talk to you soon."

Vince pretended to like the idea, and he waved goodbye to the small crowd, still feeling awkward. But then, one of the guys stayed behind to chat. Now that Vince was alone with him, it was obvious that something was on his mind. His name was Jamie, and he was a rather good-looking bloke. Vince had even made out with him once, at a party. They had both been drunk and giggling a lot, but Vince had regretted it and backed out of it and they hadn't talked about it since.

Now Jamie was looking at him, almost suspiciously.

"I haven't seen you since you started dating your friend with the moustache." He said. "Is he the one who's been keeping you at home?"

Vince was taken aback by the question. "No. I mean, I don't know… Me and Howard enjoy spending time together." He then said.

"I bet." Jamie snorted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Vince was eyeing him nervously now.

"Oh come on, Vince, you know what I mean. Howard's clinging to you. I bet he doesn't even have other friends than you."

"He does – he totally does!" Vince blurted out, feeling outraged. "He's got that Lester Cornflakes character… The one who likes jazz and is always yelling at pigeons."

Jamie started laughing at this. "That old creep? Yeah, I'm not surprised. He and Howard are a fine match."

"Howard's not a creep!" Vince snapped.

"Hey, come on, mate, you know how I've always felt about him!" Jamie said loudly. "It's like I've always told you, Howard's not good enough for a fashionable guy like you. He's just holding you back, and here's your proof that I'm right: He doesn't allow you to spend time with your better-looking friends and have fun. He just wants you to himself."

"That is not true!" Vince heard himself yelling. "Howard's good for me – he doesn't hold me back. He never told me not to see anyone else, I made that decision myself!"

"I don't believe you." Jamie taunted. "Come on, why don't you just dump him already? You could find someone better. Someone younger, handsomer… Someone with a fashion sense."

"Hey, I don't need someone with a fashion sense. I love Howard just the way he is – and he's not old and ugly like you say!" Vince felt like biting the head off his mate. "You just don't understand him. You don't see how genius he is."

"Genius? Vince, you must be joking," Jamie began laughing again, "come on, how about this. I'll take you out tomorrow night and I'm gonna find you someone nicer – if you're absolutely sure that you want to be in a relationship, that is."

Vince was so horrified that he could barely put two words together. "How dare you?" He exclaimed almost hysterically. His friends had always joked that he sounded like a woman when his voice got all high-pitched, but he didn't care. "Howard's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him – I owe him my life, actually. And if you dare say one more word about him, I swear it's the last you'll ever see of me!"

Vince looked furious – his cheeks had gone red and he was practically spitting. Jamie had to take a step back. He couldn't believe that he was being yelled at like this. He had never before seen Vince this upset over nothing.

"Oi, easy mate – I was only joking!" He tried pathetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't know… I didn't know you felt that way about him."

"Well I do!" Vince spat once again. "I love him, so you better leave him alone. Go on, spread the word! If anyone else has a go at him, I'll come at them like a ragamuffin from the streets!"

"Vince, please, don't you think that you're overreacting just a little bit?"

"No! Howard Moon saved my life, so of course I'm not overreacting!" The words just flew out of Vince's mouth before he could even stop to think.

Jamie nearly froze for a moment. "What do you mean he saved your life?" He asked, confused as ever.

Vince hesitated. "I had an… accident. And Howard was the one who made sure that I pulled through." He knew that this was a pretty poor explanation. "So there is nothing I wouldn't do to defend him."

Jamie was actually beginning to look worried now. Vince was so upset that he was shaking, and his friend was giving him a sympathetic stare. He opened his mouth to say something when, suddenly, Howard appeared out of the changing rooms, having heard absolutely everything.

"Howard?" Vince spun around, looking confused as though he had forgotten that his boyfriend was there. When the two faced each other, Howard could see the frustration painted all over the little man's face, and it made him feel horrible.

Jamie chose that moment to simply run out of the shop, apparently feeling too embarrassed to face Howard after everything that had been said.

Vince nearly wanted to run after him, just to make him apologise face to face, but he was quickly forced to give up on the idea when Howard laid his hand on his shoulder.

"Vince, it's okay," the Northerner soothed him, "never mind him."

Vince groaned and massaged his temples tiredly. "Oh God, Howard, tell me you didn't hear…"

"Every word." Howard nodded. "Vince, I don't care about anything he said. You defended me. And that means the world to me. Thank you, love."

"Bloody hell, Howard, don't thank me!" Vince hissed exhaustedly, struggling to hold back the tears. "How could I not defend you? I mean, if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be alive… I owe you everything."

Howard sensed how Vince's emotions were taking over, and he pulled the young man in for a hug. He didn't care if they were standing in the middle of Topshop and everyone was watching them.

"You don't owe me any more than I owe you." Howard whispered and pressed a kiss to Vince's face. "But still, it feels pretty good to have someone sticking up for me."

Vince sniffled, fighting back the tears bravely. "Howard?"

"Yes, little man?"

"Can we go home now? I don't like all these people looking at us…"

"Sure thing." Howard smiled a little sadly. "Let me just buy you those clothes first. They are lovely."

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

That same night, the couple was seated in a romantic restaurant, enjoying a nice dinner together. And luckily, Vince was in a much better mood. Howard had talked him into doing his hair and putting on his make-up like he used to before, and Vince had to admit that it felt good to be out in public again, carrying out the true style of Vince Noir. It felt good to make an effort. Especially because he knew how much it pleased Howard. Howard couldn't take his eyes off him. With the elegance of the black satin shirt, the black eyeliner and the root boosted, big hair, Vince felt like he was finally being true to his old self again.

And Howard – Howard was looking so wonderfully handsome, Vince thought. He had ended up buying that white shirt that Vince had recommended, even though Vince had told him he didn't have to. But it suited him brilliantly. He looked like a perfect gentleman, and Vince fell in love with him all over again.

He was smiling at Howard from across the table as they were eating their desserts and sipping their wine.

"Thanks for doing this, Howard." Vince blushed slightly. With the candle lights and the music playing in the background, this was perfectly romantic. "I've really enjoyed tonight. You look really great, by the way."

And then it was Howard's turn to blush. He wanted to play it cool, especially because Vince was smiling at him like that, but he couldn't quite keep himself from grinning like a stupid teenager. Was this flirting, he wondered? Oh yes indeed, sir!

"You look absolutely stunning yourself, Vince." Howard could feel his palms becoming sweaty. Even though he and Vince had been a couple for about six months now, he still hadn't learned how to cope whenever Vince was taking his breath away. "You're very beautiful. And that shirt, I mean… It looks amazing on you, love."

Howard admired how the fabric was hugging Vince's lean frame. The shirt was skin tight, sexy, black and classy. He bit his lip hungrily, and suddenly he just wanted to finish his dessert and take his boyfriend home. He wanted to remove the shirt and be reminded of all the beautiful, soft, milky white skin that was underneath it…

Vince read Howard's predatory look, and he smirked knowingly. Oh, this was going to be a fun night.

As the couple were leaving the restaurant, walking arm in arm, they were suddenly stopped by a voice yelling out for them to come back.

Howard turned his head around, eyeing one of the waiters by the restaurant entrance.

"Hey, sir!" The male waiter called. "Your wife forgot this fur coat!"

Barely caring that he'd been mistaken for a girl again, Vince gasped: "Oh my God, how could I forget my new coat?"

He immediately ran back for it, followed by Howard.

"Cheers, mate!" Vince sighed with relief as the waiter handed him the furry coat. He put it on immediately.

"You're welcome, pretty lady." The waiter – a short, fat bloke with an American accent – grinned. "I left my phone number inside one of the pockets, just for you." He winked.

"What?" Vince wasn't sure that he had heard him right.

"You're welcome to call me any time you feel lonely." The waiter winked again, suddenly grabbing Vince's hand. "I think you'll find that I'm good company."

Vince struggled to silence a scream. The minute that the waiter had reached out to touch him, something inside him snapped, and he had now switched to panic mode. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not again. He wasn't supposed to let strangers touch him… He knew what that meant.

"What are you doing?" He gasped, struggling to pull his hand back. "Stop that!"

But the American waiter didn't let go before he had kissed and licked his hand suggestively.

"Mm, what a sweet, delicate hand you've got…" He hummed. "You're like a princess."

Vince froze. That was it. He was not allowing this to happen all over again. He began to scream and pull away desperately. He had had enough of crazy freaks. He just wanted to escape and run back to the Nabootique, lock the doors and hide under his and Howard's bed…

Vince had closed his eyes when he heard Howard shouting from behind him:

"LET GO OF HIM!"

Half a second later, Howard delivered a punch that sent the waiter staggering backwards, clutching his face.

"My eye!" He cried. "You idiot, you hit me in the bloody eye!"

Vince's jaw dropped, and he looked over at Howard; his boyfriend was towering over the waiter furiously, threatening to punch him again if he ever got near Vince.

"I'm sorry!" The waiter cried, cowering back. "I'll never do it again. I'll leave your pretty wife alone, I swear!"

Howard's angry little eyes were staring him down, and he looked like he just wanted to kick him.

"Come on, Howard!" Vince said, grabbing the maverick's arm. "Let's go."

Vince started to run, practically dragging Howard with him. He was just desperate to get out of there and get away from people – especially before Howard lost it and delivered more punches. The two of them ran all the way home, not stopping until they reached the Nabootique and had locked themselves in the shop.

They were both panting and out of breath.

"I can't believe you did that!" Vince gasped as he regained the ability to speak first. "You punched him right out, Howard! He didn't even see it coming. You came at him like a Northern bullet…"

Howard's face was dead serious. "Yeah, well, he was bothering you. He wouldn't let you go." Howard was defending himself even though he didn't have to. "How could I just stand there and watch?"

Vince bit his lip. "Thanks, Howard. You really came to my rescue and defended me."

Howard tried to shrug casually. "Well – you defended me earlier today. We stand up for each other, right? That's what we do."

Vince smiled. "Yeah, but it was cooler the way you did it. You really are my hero."

He walked up to his boyfriend and placed his arms around Howard's middle. The couple looked each other in the eyes for a moment, and Howard raised both hands to hold Vince's head gently.

"I'm yours." Vince smiled lovingly. "No one else can ever have me."

Howard returned the smile. "You are mine." He agreed.

Vince could feel a tingling in his stomach. He knew what was about to happen in a moment or two.

"I am fucking yours." He grinned mischievously and pressed himself closer up against Howard, seductively.

Howard leaned in 'till the tip of his nose was almost touching Vince's. "You… are… fucking... mine." He whispered in a deep voice, bringing Vince's head even closer to his.

The next thing, the couple had engaged themselves in a deep kiss that was sweeping Howard off his feet and making Vince's knees go soft. They were biting each other's lips, tearing at each other's clothes, staggering towards the stairs. In a matter of seconds, they managed to enter their bedroom and shut the door behind them.

Howard picked Vince up and threw him down on the bed eagerly. Then he hovered over him, pausing to admire the beauty with the raven-black hair, the big blue eyes and the touchable skin, and those narrow, fuckable hips…

"Come on, Howard," Vince begged, squirming on the bed with excitement, "I'm yours – so claim me!"

And so he did. As Howard mounted him like a wild beast, Vince threw his head back and held on to his broad back, enjoying the sensation of hot, naked skin against his own. Howard reached out for the lube without wasting another second, and soon he was pounding into the body beneath him.

Vince moaned and spasmed incoherently as Howard was moving in and out of him, as if trying to fuck him through the matrass. Finally – FINALLY – Howard was no longer scared to touch him and to lose control. Oh, it was even wilder and even more passionately feral than Vince could ever have dreamed of.

Howard pulled out and flipped him over so that Vince was lying on his stomach, picking him up as though he didn't weigh anything at all. Vince bit his lip, adoring Howard's strength. Howard then hoisted Vince up to his hands and knees, raising his arse in the air at the same time. Before Vince even knew what hit him, Howard was all the way up inside him again, ploughing him, penetrating him, hammering himself further into him even when he was already balls-deep. Vince's fingernails dug into the sheets, and he gasped and panted breathlessly. Howard's big, rough hands were holding his hips in place, but he was soon reaching forward until he was able to grab Vince's hair carefully. Vince let out a surprised, but excited yelp and consequently, Howard clasped his free hand against Vince's mouth, silencing him.

"You like it when I pay attention to your hair, baby?" Howard groaned and chuckled. He enjoyed seeing Vince like this. He enjoyed feeling brave enough to do these things, and to be able to pleasure his boyfriend.

Vince couldn't answer with Howard's hand over his mouth, but instead, he began to lick Howard's fingers affectionately.

Howard smiled and bend down to press a quick kiss against Vince's shoulder. Then he sped up his pace as he pounded into the smaller man vigorously. He removed the hand from Vince's hot lips and moved it down to pump his cock instead. And this action had Vince crying out loudly and dropping down to his elbows, barely able to hold himself up as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

Vince came first, yelling out Howard's name unintelligibly. He could still feel Howard moving around inside him, and his body began to shiver from all the sensations. He managed to hold himself up while Howard thrust into him almost frantically, but as soon as Howard came – crying out with delight – Vince collapsed exhaustedly, and Howard flattened down on top of him as well. The couple laid there for a moment or two, panting for air and feeling the sweat drip off both their bodies.

Then Howard pulled out gently, and Vince moaned, sounding just a little disappointed. However, Howard didn't intend to break the bodily contact – he bowed down to kiss Vince's forehead, letting his fingers play with the black locks of hair for a moment. Vince rolled on to his side and purred happily.

"I love you, Howard." Vince grinned. "Look at me, I'm a sweaty mess but I don't care. That was the best sex I've ever had. I love you."

Howard smiled down at the "sweaty mess" that he had created. Vince was looking up at him with those big, shiny blue eyes. His hand now let go of his hair and went down to caress Vince's face instead.

"Are you sure that it's not just my dick that you love?" Howard teased him friskily, and Vince pulled a face, laughed and pretended to kick him.

"Look who's all cocky now!" Vince mocked him and shook his head, grinningly.

"Howard Moon, Sex God." Howard suggested proudly, and his face lit up like he had just come up with something brilliant. "How does that sound?"

"Ridiculous." Vince snorted. Sure, he loved Howard. But he would never stop teasing him whenever he said something daft. Howard needed someone to tease him, that was just how they worked.

"Yeah well, I'm still able to make you moan out my name!" Howard teased back, prodding Vince with his elbow.

The couple ended up kissing once more – sloppier this time. They both laid back down on the bed, feeling absolutely spent. Howard pulled the duvet over both their bodies when he noticed the goosebumps appearing on Vince's skin. He was starting to feel a little cold himself. Under the covers, Vince snuggled into him and Howard held him close, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Another blissful week went by in the Nabootique. Vince continued to ignore invites and requests from old friends as he still didn't feel ready to return to his social life. He just wanted to spend his time by Howard's side, living the safe and peaceful life of an ordinary London shopkeeper. Which was fine by Howard.

But Naboo on the other hand… The shaman soon began to grow tired of seeing the happy couple's faces anywhere he walked in the flat. Howard and Vince were inseparable; they ate together, showered together, worked together, did the dishes together, watched the telly together – and they slept together – loudly – every single night. It was really testing his and Bollo's patience. The shaman and his familiar were used to a quiet night's sleep, unless Vince came home drunk and needed to be guided upstairs. But even when this was the case, they still used to be able to sit at the table and eat or smoke in peace without having to watch their flat mates tongue each other.

Naboo decided that it was time to separate the two of them. Just a little bit. As long as Howard was there to protect him every minute of every day, Vince would never grow out of his fear of the world outside his window.

Naboo walked into the kitchen one morning where Howard and Vince were sat, not eating their breakfast, but poking each other and giggling like teenage girls.

"All right, you two," the shaman stood in front of the table to get their attention, "I've had enough of this. You've grown too dependent on each other and it's now so bad that you're refusing to spend time with other people."

"Aw, come on Naboo, that's not even true!" Vince moaned. "I was watching the telly with Bollo just yesterday!"

"Yeah, but you only agreed to do it if Howard could join ya." Naboo told him off. "Bollo complained to me afterwards, said he didn't want Howard around every time you and him do stuff together."

"Oi!" Howard butted in. "What does he mean he doesn't want me around?"

"Stay out of this, Howard." Naboo merely ignored him. "Vince, you can't depend on Howard like this. It's not good for ya. You used to have so many friends. Remember how fun that was? You've got to stop hidin' in the flat every single day. Otherwise you'll turn into… Well, Howard. And I can't have two Howards living here."

"Oi!" Howard protested again. "I've got friends as well, I'll have you know! Nothing wrong with copying my lifestyle."

Naboo just rolled his eyes. "Whatever! Vince, I'm serious, you know. You will go out with your friends tonight and spend some time apart from Howard, or I'll ring everyone you know and have them come here to pick you up. Your choice."

"But – but… Naboo, I can't!" Vince exclaimed, sounding almost frightened. "Not tonight! I mean, me and Howard were gonna write a new crimp an' everything."

"Well, Howard can't make it tonight either," Naboo insisted, "because he's going to spend a night out as well. I guess he'll be going to that Lester Cornflakes' place. I don't see any other options. You've really got to meet some new people, Howard."

Howard was now sulking, insisting that Lester Corncrakes wasn't his only friend, but Naboo wasn't having any of it.

"It has been decided," the shaman said, "and don't you dare contemplate on staying at home instead, because me and Bollo will be ready to kick you out of the flat."

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Around eight o'clock that evening, Naboo made sure that Vince was all dressed and ready to go. The electro boy had complained that he didn't know what to wear and that his makeup didn't look right, but that was obviously just an excuse.

"But Naboo, I don't want to go clubbing," Vince tried one last time, "those places are always so crowded, and people get well grabby when they're in a dark room together."

"Don't be ridiculous, Vince," Naboo lisped, "just stay close to your friends and you'll be fine. You've done this a million times before."

Naboo had inspected Vince's fading scars one last time before letting him go, prodding them to make sure that there was no internal pain. The shaman knew that he no longer had to worry that Vince's health was in trouble, but since he was actually sending him out of the house, he had better make sure to double-check everything.

Vince's group of friends picked him up in their car, and Vince kissed Howard's cheek one last time before going with them.

"It's going to be okay," Howard had soothed him, "you'll be fine, Vince."

"I guess." Vince had sort of sighed. "I just wish that you could have come with us."

"I know, but," Howard hesitated, "Naboo really seems to think that it's important for us to spend a night apart. Maybe we should just get it over with."

Howard watched Vince walk out the door to meet his friends, and as they all drove away together, Howard couldn't help but to feel slightly worried. What if it was all too much for Vince to handle at the moment? What if he had a panic attack, or what if someone tried to come on to him again? Howard preferred being there to watch him and to make sure that everything was okay. But Naboo had said that Vince used to be just fine on his own and that he had always known how to look after himself. Howard just needed to give him some space so that he could be given a chance to prove his independence.

Howard was also kicked out of the flat, so he went to spend the night with Lester Corncrakes, like he had said he would. Lester seemed happy to see him – well, maybe not see him, but at least to have Howard around again.

"Howard Moon, you crack me up!" Lester laughed breathlessly as he put on one of their old favourite jazz records. "You were the last person I ever pictured to be in a relationship."

"Yeah? Why is that?" Howard asked him, trying not to take offense.

"You know, men of our age don't just go out there and find themselves some nice eye candy! With one foot in the grave, what's the bloody point of falling in love?" Lester joked, slapping his thighs with laughter.

"Yeah, well, we're not actually the same age, are we now, Lester?" Howard sulked. It was nice to be with a friend again, but he sure hadn't missed the insults.

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

Inside a trendy club in Dalston, Vince returned from the dancefloor, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Were these clubs really supposed to be this hot? And had these places always been this crowded? He didn't remember. He had been dancing with his friends for some time now, and it had been great fun – until the dancefloor had become too crowded and Vince had accidentally bumped into another man. Vince had apologised awkwardly and the man had just given him some sort of wink. Vince panicked and made it back to the bar, not wanting anything like that to happen again.

He bought himself another flirtini before settling down next to a small group of girls that he knew.

"Vince!" Yelled the girl with the red hair that he had also bumped into in Topshop, and she hugged him again. "I'm so glad that you're here."

"Good to see you again," one of the other girls agreed and raised her glass to welcome him, "you've been gone for far too long."

"Everyone's been asking about you." A brunette girl added. "Where the bloody hell have you been hiding?"

An hour later, Vince was still sitting at the bar, drinking flirtinies and talking to the girls. In fact, more girls had joined the group now, and they were all looking at him with eyes full of awe and excitement as Vince was telling them all about his and Howard's relationship.

"Howard's the best thing that has ever happened to me," Vince told them truthfully, "he always looks out for me, and he's really gentle. He's really big and strong, yeah? So he sometimes picks me up and carries me to bed if I've fallen asleep on the sofa."

All the girls were aww'ing and padding Vince's arm, eager to hear more about this Howard Moon.

"He always cups my face when he kisses me. And even though he's got a moustache and no dress sense whatsoever, he's still really handsome." Vince blushed. "He's got small eyes like a shrimp, but they're chocolate brown and really pretty. That's how we work, big eyes and small eyes."

Admiring Vince's blue ones, the redhead placed her hand on Vince's knee. "It sounds like the two of you make a really perfect couple." She said. "You have to bring him one day so that we can all meet him."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Vince told her, "see, Howard really hates places like this. The only music that he'll listen to is jazz, and he doesn't like staying up later than eleven o'clock."

"Well," one of the other girls added, "then we'll have to meet him somewhere else."

"Yeah," Vince smiled, "I think he would really enjoy that."

"Oi – Vince mate!" One of his male friends called all of a sudden, returning from the dancefloor as well. "Catching up with the girls, eh?" He grinned and winked suggestively.

"Stop winking, Peter," a blonde girl told him almost defensively, "Vince has been telling us about his boyfriend, and it's well romantic!"

"Oh, enough with the romantic nonsense," Peter said, "come on, Vince, let's go have another dance. Let me buy you one more drink, mate."

Vince finished his talk with the girls, promising them that they would all meet Howard really soon, and he went back to dancing with his other mates. Peter brought Vince a colourful drink, and as they were drinking and dancing, Vince could feel himself loosen up.

Then he noticed Jamie walking towards him. Vince hadn't seen him since the incident in Topshop. He wondered if Jamie had even told anyone else that Vince had been yelling at him.

And just like that, Vince began to miss Howard really badly. When he thought back on the time when he and Jamie had once kissed on the dancefloor and flirted heavily, he knew that that wasn't what he ever wanted to go back to. None of his flirts had ever made him feel happy, but just a hug from Howard could make his day. Howard made him feel safe and loved. Howard didn't just kiss him and then ignore him the next day. Howard was the real deal.

"Vince," Jamie was now standing right in front of him, trying to pull Vince away from the crowd, "can I talk to you for a moment?"

Vince followed Jamie outside the club where it would be much easier to talk. Vince didn't really fancy talking to Jamie after that embarrassing fight the other day, but he was sick and tired of running away from everything and everyone.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry." Jamie told him when they were alone and the music wasn't bothering them anymore. "I crossed the line the other day. I shouldn't have said those things about Howard when I know that he's your boyfriend."

Vince was trying not to sulk. "No, you shouldn't." He agreed. "But I lost my head too, I suppose. I didn't need to yell like I did."

"You were angry. You had every right." Jamie fell silent. Then he added: "I just can't stand the thought of you hating me, Vince. We used to be so close. I really am sorry for upsetting you."

That was it. Vince couldn't help but to smile. "It's all right." He gave Jamie a flashy grin. "Let's just put it behind us, yeah?"

The two friends gave each other a quick hug, but then Jamie said:

"Listen, mate, I gotta ask you… Is it really true that you had an accident that could have killed ya? And that Howard saved your life?"

Vince pretty much froze at these words, but he knew that it was his own fault for ever telling Jamie about this.

"I won't tell anyone," Jamie then told him as Vince hesitated, "I promise."

Vince nodded. "Yeah, it's true. The thing is, I kind of… got hurt, and it was really bad. It left me ill for a long time. Look, I'll tell you about it some day when I'm ready. But Howard really did save my life. I do owe him everything."

"In that case, I feel even worse about what I said." Jamie looked down at his feet, awkwardly. "Listen, mate, I gotta tell you – I've noticed that you've been looking pretty uncomfortable all night. Like you don't really want to be here."

Vince shrugged. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed seeing all his friends again. He just sort of wished that he could have brought Howard with him. He still didn't feel right walking around on his own.

"It's my first night away from Howard," Vince admitted, "ever since he saved my life, it's been really difficult being apart from him."

Vince sometimes hated himself for being so honest. He dreaded that Jamie was going to make fun of him now, but there was no laughter whatsoever.

"Then don't be apart from him." Jamie said in all seriousness.

"What?" Vince looked up confusedly.

"I can tell that you really love him, mate. I think that you two are lucky to have each other. If you're not ready to be apart from him yet, then don't be." Jamie offered him a sincere smile. "Don't waste your evening here, Vince. Go home to him. I'm sure he misses you, too."

Vince fought back his emotions as he leapt forward and threw his arms around Jamie.

"Cheers." He said in a slightly shaky voice. "Thanks, Jamie, I really needed to hear that."

Jamie smiled and padded his back. "If I had had a Howard to go home to, I would have done the same thing." He said.

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In the meantime, Howard had just left Lester Corncrakes' place. He knew that he had left embarrassingly early, but he just had that feeling in his stomach that he wasn't truly enjoying himself. He had spent every minute just looking at the clock – which, thankfully, Lester hadn't been able to see him do – and he had found himself just wondering, worrying, what Vince might be doing, who he was with and if he was enjoying himself.

Basically, he couldn't stop thinking about Vince, so he decided that he might as well go back to the flat and wait for him to come home later. Maybe he could watch some telly and keep himself busy that way.

Just as Howard turned around the corner and walked towards the Nabootique, though, he saw the figure of a young man in high heels, wearing a sparkly jump suit, coming from the opposite side of the street.

"Oh my God," Howard spoke to himself quietly, and then he called out, "Vince!"

The younger man looked up and caught sight of the jazz maverick immediately.

"Howard!" He gasped.

And just like that, Vince was running towards him. Howard stood ready to pick him up and embrace him laughingly, twirling him around in the air for a second. Vince held on to him and rested his forehead against Howard's chest, savouring the swelling, happy sensation in his own.

"Howard, what are you doing here?" He heard himself asking with astonishment in his voice. "I thought you'd be at Lester's all night!"

"And I thought you'd be in some fancy night club with your friends." Howard merely laughed.

"Well, I was, but…" Vince found himself blushing.

Howard paused and pulled away momentarily as he took a serious look at his boyfriend. "Vince, are you okay? Did something happen? Did anyone –"

"Howard, stop, I'm fine!" Vince smiled up at him. "It was all good, but… To be honest, I missed you too much. And then I met Jamie again, and he apologised and he was being all nice, and he was the one who told me to go find you because I shouldn't waste time being apart from you…"

Vince paused to watch Howard's reaction. Howard was looking happy to hear this.

"I like Jamie a lot better now." He smirked.

"My friends really want to meet you, Howard." Vince said. "I've been talking about you so much to them. I think they are going to invite you to come along next time. And then I won't have to go out on my own anymore."

"Sounds good to me, little man." Howard said sincerely. "I'd love to meet your friends."

"So why are you not at Lester's?" Vince quizzed him eagerly. "He didn't die, did he?"

"Vince!" Howard said with a hint of blame in his voice. "Lester's doing just fine, thank you very much. But honestly, well… I missed you too. And you were all that I could think about. I didn't even feel that happy when we listened to all the jazz records."

"Howard, do you not like jazz anymore?" Vince gasped.

"Don't be silly, of course I do." Howard was cupping Vince's face in his hand. "But it wasn't the same. I didn't feel ready to be away from you. And you know, Lester's an old man. He's not as funny as he used to be. He was… He was falling asleep in his chair after just one hour."

Vince couldn't keep himself from laughing, but Howard didn't mind.

"I don't care," the Northerner said, "because it meant that I got to come back and see you."

Howard was caressing Vince's cheeks now, and Vince was leaning in to his touch.

"How lucky." The electro boy smiled coyly.

"We are very lucky." Howard murmured.

He leant forward and caught Vince's lips with his own. Vince moaned and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his neck. It felt weird to stand outside, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the street and make out with Howard. But Vince didn't even care if anyone saw them. It felt wonderful. It felt safe.

"Let's get you inside." Howard whispered after about a minute's time. "You're only wearing that suit, you must be freezing."

HVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHV

It was about two in the morning when Naboo and Bollo parked their carpet outside the Nabootique and went inside the flat. They had just come back from a meeting with the other shamans, and Naboo felt well ready to smoke some hookah and then go straight to bed.

"You think Howard and Vince are having a good time on their own?" Naboo asked his familiar as he was making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen.

Bollo had entered the living room as he wanted to watch some telly before bed, but now he was walking in the kitchen with a slightly awkward look on his face.

"Uhh," the gorilla grunted hesitantly, "Bollo think Harold and precious Vince are having a good time. But not on their own."

Naboo frowned. "What do you mean not on their own?"

And then the gorilla guided the shaman towards the living room, pointing to the two limp figures who had fallen asleep on the sofa, under the blankets, with the TV still lighting up the dark room.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Naboo cursed under his breath, but before he had the chance to shake the two ballbags awake and yell at them for not going through with the plan, Bollo laid his giant monkey hand on his shoulder and shushed him.

"Look!" Bollo whispered and pointed again. "Harold and precious Vince happy."

With the blankets wrapped around their bodies, Vince was curled up in Howard's lap, resting his head on the older man's thighs. Howard had an arm draped around the young man's waist in an almost protective manner, holding his body as close to him as possible. They both had that peaceful look on their faces which revealed a genuine happiness – a satisfaction with letting things stay the way they were. It was like watching two children, stubbornly holding on to their favourite person in the whole world, not intending to let go no matter what other people said.

This was warm. This was good, and it felt just right.

And perhaps, they didn't really need to let go, Naboo thought. So what if Vince was depending on Howard and they both struggled to even spend one night apart? As long as they worked together, they didn't need to worry so much about working on their owns. Who cared about other people and whatever opinions they might have? This was something vulnerable, but precious, and Naboo realised that he would never do anything to change the nature of a relationship that had been built on such a solid and strong friendship.

They obviously belonged together, so why not allow them to fall asleep together on the sofa, in their home, away from cynics and potentially harmful people out there? After all, the world could be such a cruel and heartless place, and if you could find protection somewhere, it was best to seek it.

As he and Bollo turned off the TV and went back into the kitchen without waking them up, Naboo realised just how lucky Howard and Vince were to finally have each other.