Disclaimer: If I owned Artemis Fowl, would this be a disclaimer? Think about that. Contemplate your answer.

"Butler?"

The manservant rose to his young charge's voice. Artemis sat on the table, feet hanging over the side and head propped up on his hands. Behind him sat Holly, leaning on a wooden chair. Artemis was quite pale, but there were no visible wounds. Holly also looked rather drained, but was grinning like a (short) idiot.

"'Bout time you got up, sleepyhead." She said with a smirk, rising to her feet. "He's too proud to admit it, but Arty's been worrying about you."

The Arty in question gave an indignant huff and stood.

"As a matter of fact, I have been, as Holly so bluntly put it, worried." He stated calmly, the only display of emotion being his scuffing the front of his left boot on the tile.

The manservant hid a grin, but felt guilty for making his charge worry. And even more so for letting him get shot, 'cause stuff like that kinda digs at you.

Artemis sensed his old friend's concern, and spoke.

"Bulter, it wasn't really your fault. I allowed myself to be lured out, and then allowed myself to be shot. It is as a game of chess, where checkmate could be prevented. Had I predicted my opponent's moves, I could have moved my pieces to prevent this. But as it stands, they have caught us in an unfavorable position, and all we can do now it take the necessary countermeasures." The boy genius sighed, and continued, "We have one advantage now, however, as Opal believes me to be dead. Hence, her guard may be do- why are you staring at me with your jaws agape?"

For the first time, Artemis noticed the stunned expressions of Holly and Bulter. "Is something wrong?"

"Arty, I don't know, 'cause were kinda far away, but form here it sounded like you said, well, Opal. Y'know, the dead one? First victim? Maybe I should get my ears checked…"

"Indeed, Holly," said Artemis, eyes downcast, "Opal Koboi murdered both Unix and Ragby, and almost me. It was an impeccable scheme, because who suspects someone who is no longer in the world of the living? However, she has used clones before, and continues to. We must find her at any cost."

With this new development, dramatic music began to play, rich with soprano tones and violins and occasionally a trumpet."

"What the heck is that?"

"Dunno"

"Oh wait, that's my phone" Holly explained, still somewhat shocked by the perfection of the timing. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a small mobile communication device (henceforth called a cell-phone) and flipped it open.

"Hello? Hello, this is officer Short-"

"Hello there, Holly. This line is private and untraceable, so you have no chance of locating me though it." The voice was young and childlike.

"I'm sooooo sorry about what happened to Arty, but he was the greatest threat to my success, you see? The only one who is smart as me! Or, well, was smart as me." Giggling from the other line sent Holly chills.

"Opal!" she hissed, "You shot Artemis, D'arvit! You… he…" she stuttered, enraged. "I will find you, and you will pay for what you did! By my own hands, if I have any choice!"

More giggling, and a click.

Holly waited a few seconds, glaring daggers at the phone.

"You know, Holly," Artemis said, trembling, "the phone didn't shoot me. Please don't murder it"

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Phew! Sorry I haven't uploaded in, well, (checks watch) FOREVER! I don't know why, but since it's summer I have all of this free time. I discovered the queerest thing: the more time you have, the busier you are… hmmmmm.

But I finally got the new chapter up, emphasis on finally, and I hope that you all like it. Reviews are always welcome, you can even review just to say hi (man, I must be desperate…) or to tell me things I'm doing wrong, 'cause there are probably a bunch… hehe.

Again, shout out thanks to RAHbooks and Artimis Fowl Lover (AFL), and all of my other reviewers. Please, do what your title implies… and thanks!