I apparated us and it was a challenge since Gin kept giving off protest on not liking the blindfold.
"Harry I hate this blindfold I can't stand not knowing where I am let me take it off." I held the blind tight and just chuckled.
"Patience my love, you are safe with me." I led her to the balcony that overlooked the beautiful gardens, flowers were one of her favorite things. I had planned originally to go to some island with her but her parents knew the place I was supposedly going to take her and wanting no one to know. I knew she would love this place better and that the ocean was a pop away. I positioned her on the balcony so she saw the beauty in life the life we created. I pushed her hair off of her shoulder before I gave her shoulder a kiss and let the blindfold drop.
"Welcome to British Columbia. Love" Her hand went to her mouth at the breath taking sight in front of her. You could see a mountain range in the distance, A lake and the gardens the hotel kept up.
"This isn't the Caribbeans. Where is British Columbia exactly?" I let my arms snake around her waist and just rested my head on her shoulder.
"Where in Canada love, I wanted a place where no one from your family will find us." She turned to me with a gleam in her eyes.
"Why plan on having your wicked way with me." I shot back, those weren't my intentions. She sauntered her way up to me.
"I... not my... Plan..." I fumbled for the words then she laughed. I was so confused.
"Harry, you would never do anything I didn't want you to do, I know you by now although your reaction was quite funny." She reached up on her toes and kissed me. I gave into the pleasure of such a simple kiss. It felt like a blinding white light before my eyes, something that would send me to the afterlife and back. All in all it was a heart stopping kiss.
"Wow." Was all I could articulate when she moved away, I felt like a fool all I could say was wow. Gin looked down blushing biting her bottom lip. When she did that it was a bit exciting she looked to cute when she did. I shook my head trying to shake away the cobwebs from my head. I walked to her and gently took her hand before I led her over to the chair where she sat on my lap. She always likes it when I was telling her everything.
"You remember how you want me to tell you everything?" She looked into my eyes as if seeing it a joke.
"Yeah." I gently took her hand.
"I brought you out here, to show you the beauty in the life we created. I know you feel bad over Draco, I can see it in your eyes. But love I know all to well how that feels, you were working on adrenaline and fear, seeing me the way I was. It was in no way your fault. You need to smile, you know I love you Gin, but seeing you hurt is breaking me. I've seen you hurt way to much and just want to see you smile." She laid her head on my chest.
"I want to especially after all he did to me, but he was still human and I killed him." I lifted her head so her eyes looked into mine.
"I killed Draco's father with my bare hands all because he wanted to get to the ones I love. I killed Voldemort, he may of been a horror but he still had parts of a soul, if you look at it I killed him seven times..." Here's the real question I really wanted to know. I lowered my voice.
"Do you see me as any less of a man for killing people?" She held back tears.
"No." Came her quiet whisper.
"So then how can you not live I don't see you any less of a woman."
"But I can't forgive my self." I held her hand.
"A wise lady told me, why brood it doesn't suit you. Gin you are one of the most wonderful people alive, please don't let this war take the last person I love." I lowered my voice to a whisper.
"There are so many others you love."
"None like you though, everyone else love is different, it won't shatter my heart. Sirius my parents, Remus, Tonks. They sacrificed them self's for me and every time I sleep I see Tom killing them again and again. I worked so one day I could have a life where I didn't have to fight every minute." I stood and walked her out of the hotel and across a couple fields before I hit a lake.
"Look at your self in the water. Look at your reflection what do you see." She walked over then hit her reflection as if she never wanted to see it.
"I look dirty, how can you love me? Tom tainted me and killing Draco just cracked me. You know what he did to me?" She screamed and recounted the whole chamber of secrets, how Tom used her. I just sat there and listened while she got the thing that was always weighing on her. The thing she could never forget. She slumped and I went to her.
"You feel exactly like I do. I see you and I see beauty but I look at my self and see the horrors of my battles with Tom..." I told her the whole story of the seven hocruxes and the encounters and relived all my nightmarish times in my life, telling her the whole story and telling her things I never told even Ron and Hermione.
"I wonder how you can love me? When I am a broken man, I don't deserve you, but I need you." She sat there stunned.
"How can you think you don't deserve me its the the other way around." I sighed she wasn't grasping the point.
"No, the point I'm trying to get at is we both see our reflection as tainted but we cant keep living by his rules other wise we will never live and he won. Personally I don't want to see him win. Gin you deserve me more then I would ever know and I love you so much that the words I love you don't... no can't express how I feel." She leaned over and on me.
"I know, but how do we move on."
"We live Gin, its all we can do. We can't focus on the bad when there is good. You taught me that."