I woke up with my arms wrapped tightly around myself and the little teddy bear the Joker had left for me. My back hurt, my neck hurt, and I swore off sleeping on the floor ever again. I needed to find or steal myself a mattress so I wouldn't have to share the Joker's bed anymore. I wasn't sure what had given him the impression that our developing "relationship" had given him the right to look at me like a piece of meat, but I wasn't going to put up with it. I wasn't stupid. I knew, of course, that I had to stay in his home. I was no longer safe by myself; that boat had sailed. However, that didn't mean that I had to sleep in his arms. As I sat up and looked out the window, bleary-eyed, at the morning light streaming through the grimy kitchen window, I realized that if I wanted to get to class I would have to go back down to the bedroom to fetch some clothes.
I didn't turn on the light and felt my way carefully down the stairs, trying to remember where the squeaky places were so I could avoid them. When I got to the foot of the stairs I was startled and almost lost my balance. The Joker was sitting on the edge of the pile of blankets that was his bed, and looking through the darkness straight at me. Shadows played on his face as the very faint light glinted off his eyes. I looked back down and started squinting to look for my clothes in the darkness.
"I didn't sleep," he informed me.
"Well you can take a nap now. You can sleep all day if you want to. I have to get to class," I said.
"Are we going to talk about this?" he asked.
"I think I made a pretty clear point and you already apologized. There isn't really anything else to discuss," I told him. I got down on my hands and knees to scramble around for a shirt. Why hadn't I put my things back in my bag? Suddenly the light clicked on, almost blinding me. I turned around to see him standing by the light switch.
"You look funny," he said with a smile. I smiled back and grabbed a t-shirt and jeans, now easily distinguishable among the blankets and rugs.
"After class I want to go out looking for a mattress. Where would you suggest I start?" I asked him. He looked hurt.
"Another abandoned place nearby where I used to live. I'll get it for you," he said.
"Okay," I said, smiling again, "Thanks." I stood up and stood there in silence for a few seconds. I set my clothes back down and I approached him, tentatively reaching out for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and enveloped me in his warmth. I hadn't realized how cold the kitchen had been.
"Be safe," he said, "and hurry back."
"Gotta shower first," I said with a laugh. I picked up my clothes and went back upstairs. After I got out of the shower and dressed I went back down to say goodbye, but he was passed out asleep on his bed. I smiled, turned the light off, and left for class.
I saw Robert on my way there. The way he was walking, I could tell he was still sore. I wondered if he had bothered to go to the hospital and, if he had, what excuse he had given them for his injuries. I wanted to say hello to him, not as his Queen of Diamonds, but as Amber. I couldn't though. I'd never known him as Amber, and I had a creeping feeling he would recognize me.
After class, I hurried back to my new home. I didn't regret the way I had acted, but I was anxious to make things right between the Joker and I again, and hoped that he was interested in the kind of relationship in which he could show me respect. But then again, who was I kidding? He hadn't signed up for another romantic partner, just a partner in crime, someone to understand and support him. Maybe I was okay with that.
When I got back, true to his word, the Joker had retrieved a mattress for me. He had placed it in the middle of the bedroom and stacked several blankets neatly on the foot of my new bed. The pillow and teddy bear from the night before sat perched at the other side. He was fast asleep on his lump of blankets again. I couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty about his sleepless night and wondered what exactly he'd been pondering for so long. I sat on the bed and pulled out my lecture notes to study for a test. To make it less boring, I set the teddy bear down in my lap and pretended to explain the material to him. I went over everything I thought I'd need to know until I was sure I had it down. Then I looked up and saw a very amused looking Joker sitting cross-legged on the floor watching me.
"Did you know you were talking to the teddy bear?" he said with a grin.
"Out loud?" I asked, cringing. He nodded.
"It was very fascinating. I didn't know your teddy bear was studying biology. What's his name?" the Joker asked.
"Oh, I don't know yet. Maybe I'll name him Jack!" I said with a laugh.
"No," said the Joker.
"No?" I asked, "Why not?"
"If you wanted to cuddle with someone named Jack you should've…" he cut off and got up, then stormed across the room.
"Should have what?" I whispered.
"Nothing," he snapped, "Jack's a horrible name for a teddy bear. Why doncha name it Robert?"
"Oh my god," I said, "Joker, you're not jealous, are you?"
"Shut up," he said, glaring at me. I got up and put Jack the teddy bear on the bed, and then walked over to Joker. I reached up to touch his face and got slapped so hard I fell to the ground. "Don't touch me," he growled.
I got back to my feet and said, "So what do you want, a submissive little slave? Is that what you want?"
He looked taken aback and said, "You have some nerve talking to me like that."
"What are you going to do, kill me? Slap me around some more? Is that why you want me to listen to you, because I'm afraid you'll hurt me if I don't?" I demanded, "Well I'm not afraid of you. Do whatever the fuck you want, I'm not going to be your little plaything, and I'm not sacrificing my self-respect so I can beg and plead for your forgiveness every time I piss you off." He pulled out a knife and came at me, putting it up to my neck, but I didn't flinch. "Do it!" I screamed.
He put the knife down and said, "Name the fucking teddy bear Jack if you want to." He sat down on his bed again.
"I will," I said.
"Is biology your major?" he asked.
"No, my major is engineering," I said.
"What do you want to be when you grow up, Joyce?" he asked. I started laughing.
"Let's blow something up," I suggested.
"What?" he asked.
"Let's blow up something really big," I said.
"My last two gigs have both been explosions," he said," No."
I sighed. "Fine, let's do something. I want to get out of the house tonight, with you."
"We should lie low until Robert's story hits the stands," the Joker suggested. I pouted at him. "Okay, we can do something little," he said with a glint in his eye, "We could mug someone or something?"
"Let's commandeer a bus," I suggested.
"Hmm? Like a school bus? I've done that this year already," he objected.
"A cab?" I asked.
"Too clichéd. Car jacking, really? Besides, you don't even have a good outfit yet. Oh, of course! Your outfit! We need to do that anyway. I'd say it's time for you to meet my tailor!" he said with a grin.
"You have …tailor?" I asked with a laugh.
"Sure! Where do you think I get all of my classy duds, Walmart? He's a real nice guy. Name is Frank," he said.
"Frank as in Franklin?" I asked.
"Frank as in Frank," he corrected me.
"I'm calling him Franklin," I announced.
"Fine. Put on your makeup and your ratty old dress and let's go," he said. I got ready in a hurry and when I'd come back out, he'd slicked his hair back for the occasion.
"How do I look?" I asked.
"Horrible. Let's go fix it," he said. He stuck out his elbow and I wrapped my arm through his.
"Oh, will you escort me? What a gentleman!" I said with a laugh. We slunk into the night, hardly noticed on the quiet street where most of the lights were already out. "So your neighbors have no idea we're here? I mean, you think they'd notice," I said.
"Our neighbors," he corrected, "and if you noticed the Joker slinking around, would you investigate or close the blinds?"
"Well, I might not be the best person to ask here, but I get your point," I said with a smile.
"Your face is red," he pointed out.
"Yea, I tried to cover it up with makeup the best that I could, but that's probably going to bruise," I said.
"What is?" he asked innocently.
"You slapped me again," I reminded him.
"Oh," he said. We walked in silence for a few seconds before he asked, "Why?"
"I'm not sure exactly. Maybe because I wanted to name the teddy bear Jack?" I suggested.
"I don't think that would be it," he said.
"That's your name isn't it?" I asked.
"Yes," he told me, "Jack Napier. But don't tell anyone that, obviously."
"I won't. Can I call you Jack?" I asked.
"Not in public," he said.
"So I can in private?" I asked.
"No," he said.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because you're not in my bed anymore," he said. When I looked shocked he asked, "What?"
"That was blunt," I remarked.
"Maybe so," he admitted. A streetlamp flickered.
"Are we almost there?" I asked.
"Patience, Amber," he said.
"No, you can't call me that anymore," I said.
"Why not?" he demanded.
"You're not in my bed either," I said. He laughed, and it echoed around the empty street. "Where the hell are we going? All these houses look abandoned."
"We're going to Frank's house," he said.
"I know that. Where is Frank's house?" I said.
"Where we're going," he said.
"Careful, you're starting to sound Riddler-esque," I said. He hissed at me.
"No, that's Cat Woman," I joked.
"Very funny," he said.
"I thought so," I told him.
"We're here," he said. The light was on in a second story window. This house was just as dilapidated as the Joker's, and yet somehow less friendly.
"Is he expecting us?" I asked.
"No, he's always up late," the Joker said, "That's how we met." We climbed the porch steps and the Joker knocked, then opened the door. He released my arm and headed up the stairs, and I had no choice but to follow. Frank was far less intimidating than his house was. He was fat, middle aged, and comfortably settled in his armchair reading a book. "Frank, I'd like you to meet a friend. This is Queenie." Frank looked up at me.
"Oh, of course, you're the Queen of Diamonds. I had a hunch you two would know each other," he said, "Welcome. What may I do for you?"
"My friend needs a new outfit. Actually, she needs a whole wardrobe. This old dress is all she ever wears," said the Joker. Frank stood up and set his book down on a side table. He started circling me, and I felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
"Do you want to stay in dresses?" he asked me.
I remembered what the Joker had said about climbing and running and said, "No, I need to be able to move."
"Well, of course," said Frank, "You're an associate of the Joker's, I assumed as much. I can make dresses you can move in. Or more accurately, bodysuits that appear to be dresses. Leave the technical to me; just tell me what you're looking for aesthetically."
"I hadn't given it a lot of thought, honestly," I said nervously. He stopped walking in circles and looked at my face.
"Walk me through how you decided to do your makeup this way," he said. I glanced at the Joker, knowing I would have to fudge the details a little to avoid embarrassing myself.
"Well I wanted it to be obvious that I was connected to the Joker, but I didn't want to be the female version of him. So I went with the white the match his skin tone and used one of his colors, purple, for the eyes. For my symbol I went to the card deck and since diamonds are red that's the other color I was working with, but I ended up doing just the diamond on my cheek in red," I explained.
"Why don't you wear lipstick?" he asked. I didn't know what to say that wouldn't sound pathetic.
"I don't need to draw attention to my lips," I said awkwardly.
"You not wearing lipstick is what does that. People are programmed to expect a tone change at the lips so that's directly where the eye is drawn when they see you," he told me, "Alright, I know what I need to. Come back in a few days for the first outfit and I'll keep going until you stop me."
"Thanks Frank," said the Joker, "Come on Queenie. Let's go home."