Okay, so im back again :D. i had this chapter, and the next written up ready to go 3 days ago. until my computer desided to do a system restore coz it got a virus or something. Unfortuantly that last 'safe' point was before i'd written those chapters so they went poof! I've re written them into this one chapter, mostly because i couldn't remember all i wrote, so i hope you like it! R&R :D
Stephanie was nervous; she was lying with Hector in bed, which was not unusual. Nor was the fact that they were naked, but the issue was that he touching her.
"Hector I'm not sure about this."
"Just relax Sweetness"
A few more minutes and Steph was still as stiff as before.
"Honey, I'm not going to hurt you, just try to relax okay?"
"Hec, maybe this is too soon. You know Sally said we shouldn't push it."
Steph tried to roll away but Hector kept her still.
"Baby girl, you have been avoiding this for too long. Now RELAX!"
Steph tried to relax, but her mind too her back to yesterday and her last therapy appointment. Hector had decided to sit in with her and Sally, her new therapist, as he wanted to discuss an issue he thought was important. Apparently the fact that she had not had anything close to a sexual encounter since her attack was 'unhealthy' and the fact she hadn't even noticed was 'avoidance'.
It all started 3 days ago when Ranger kissed her. At first it had been amazing, the slight brush of lips that send tingles through her body, but then it deepened and that had stolen her breath away. Quite literally it turned out as she had had a panic attack and fainted.
It had been 6 months since she got out of the psych ward. Stephanie felt that she was back to normal, in fact she felt better than normal. There was more of a glint in her eye and she could smile just because.
Her first therapist helped her a lot, but the issue of Hector had been a white elephant and Stephanie couldn't continue to see her. She had helped a lot in sorting out her past issues, especially her early life and her parents, as well as the after math of the attack but the constant disapproval of her marriage and 'dependency' on Hector was a beginning to feel harmful. The Therapist had been very traditional, their meetings held in Bobby's Office and documented both in writing and recorded, their talks were clinical and held little warmth.
Sally on the other hand was very freeing. He was a tall broad man that liked to dress as a female. It might have been a little bit shocking the first time but Stephanie liked how self-assured Sally was, he liked the way women's clothing made him feel, its wasn't outrageous or attention seeking, to him if felt natural and he liked it so he did it.
They sat in her and Hector's apartment on the couches and talked to each other; while the sessions were recorded it wasn't as obvious. Plus there was always a comfort food available, chip, chocolate and ice-cream were her constant therapy companions. Sally was also very positive towards Hector. It wasn't traditional but it wasn't bad, and it helped both people so it worked, was his attitude. It might have helped that he wasn't very traditional and could understand that 'normal' wasn't everyone's cup of tea but there wasn't anything wrong with it. He was also great with helping Stephanie in her new relationship with Ranger, loving to hear all the details and commenting with helpful suggestion and great advice. It was less draining to work on her issue that way, instead on an hour of straight out focusing on her most vulnerable secrets.
The relationship between Ranger and Stephanie was blossoming. In the past 6 months the two had gone out quite a bit. It stated as almost a friendship; gentle teasing in the office, lunch dates in his office, coffee breaks together in the break room. Then they started going out; to the park on a nice day, to lunch on a quiet day, to a museum when it showed one of Ranger's favourite artists. It was nice, and Stephanie felt herself falling in love with him. Which was scary as, other than Hector, she had never really felt love before, not to mention she had been let down by every person who claimed to love her, again bar Hector.
The panic attack had simple highlighted something Hector had been trying to point out to Stephanie for a while now, she wasn't fully healed yet, even if she could function fine.
"Stephanie, please relax! I think I might have broken a finger with how tense you are."
"I'm just not fully comfortable being touched Hec. I never really was."
"You never used to have a problem with me, so stoped avoiding the issue and relax! It's a massage sweetness, nothing to be so scared of. Sally said you needed to get used to male contact again."
After another 5 minutes of hector's prodding, she gave up.
"It's just not working" Stephanie managed to flip Hector of her back, unto the bed "I'm going to shower this oil off, then maybe we can just go to sleep?"
"Want me to join you? The oil might be tricky" he asked
Stephanie smiled to herself, Hector was trying so had to be supportive. He truly wanted her to be whole again and that made her happy. It wouldn't be the first time that they showered together, when they lived at Mama's house the hot water tank was tiny and you pretty much needed to combined showers. Stephanie realised that they had drifted apart while she was away, and she was truly happy that since she had been admitted to the hospital they had gotten their closeness back, at least emotionally.
"Nah it's okay, I think I can manage to get this stuff off me. Why not wash your hands and then get ready for bed?"
"Okay sweetness, just remember I love you"
"I love you too Hec"
It was in the shower that Stephanie was finally able to relax. She lathered a wash cloth with soap and went to work getting the oil off her body. She let her mind wander, thinking about the disaster that had been that massage. She realise that Hector was right, she hadn't had a sex drive since she recovered, which was quite a difference to before, hector might be gay but he knew her well and she enjoyed the nights they spent together. She thought about Ranger, the man made her heart swell. She enjoyed every minute she spent with him. Loved the way he looked at her like she was so important and every time he held her hand or put his arm around her she felt safe. She wandered what it would feel like if it had been his hands gliding over her back.
Without realising it, her hands had spent a little too long 'washing' her breasts and she could feel a flutter with in her. She almost dropped the wash cloth in surprise. She was getting aroused she realised. She started laughing at herself, had it really been that long that she almost didn't realise what those feeling were? The surprise had drenched the flame and it was gone but she was still giddy. In a deep down part of her mind she had thought herself broken, that she would never be able to feel those feelings again.
She got out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around her as she left the bathroom. Hector was back lying in their bed, and as she slipped into the bed she rested her head on his chest.
"Thank you Hec"
"For what baby girl?"
"For helping me. For loving me. For being you."
"I'm not sure I helped." Hector replied confused.
"You have. I think that maybe yours weren't the hands I needed." She blushed and dug her head deeper into is shoulder. He chuckled.
"Would those other hands just happen to belong to a handsome man, who dresses all in black and who you have been avoiding for 3 days?"
"Maybe" she mumbled, then yawned
"Tomorrow, you should talk to him."
"I will, night Hec."
"Night my wife" Hector replied, knowing that soon she wouldn't be that anymore and while that idea scared him to his core, he was comforted with the knowledge that she would never leave his side. Sally had been helping him to deal with other issues as well. When the time came he would give up his bride to another and hopefully be the one walking her down the aisle.
The last few days had been tough on her, he thought with a sigh. Ranger had been panicked when she had fainted, rushing her to Bobby and calling him to stay with her. Hector knew Ranger blamed himself, and while Stephanie had been avoiding him in her embarrassment, he had been letting her in his. Both felt it was their fault, both were wrong. Hector shook his head at the pair of them. He and Ranger had developed a strange friendship over the last 6 months. They worked together to help Stephanie, talking about things that she had done that had made her happy or sad, helping each other to support her and celebrating together after every milestone. At time their friendship was strained, Hector did not want to let her go, and Ranger had to deal with the fact he wasn't the only man in Stephanie's life but overall they had settled into a pattern that Hector hoped would last a long time.
Hector was also so very proud of the woman Stephanie had become. She was different, stronger and more self-assured, but that made him happy. She no longer submitted easily to him as she had done in the past, which was a source of pride in him, thought it did frustrate him too. Her smile was more, her eyes were brighter and her laughter was more warming than ever and what was more important their relationship was stronger. He hugged her sleeping form closer as he thought of everything he nearly lost. Tomorrow he would find Ranger first thing so they could talk, and maybe he could threaten. He still had issues with the thought of another man touching Stephanie, but he was working on it, and God help Ranger if he hurt her.
Ranger was sitting in his apartment thinking. Like he had been doing every night since the disaster of a date happened 3 nights ago. It had been going great. They had been to dinner at a nice home style restaurant, not overly romantic but no screaming children and tormented parents either, also no drunks or sleazy men waiting in the wings and making Steph feel uncomfortable. He had notice that Stephanie hated outright sexual actions, whether it be verbal or suggestive.
The last 10 months had been the best and hardest of his life. Binkie's betrayal was a shock to his system, but the depression that had lay over the building had been draining and watching the light slowly leave Stephanie's eye was hard. Her overdose had stopped his heart, as well as giving him the kick up the butt he needed to find his balls and go and talk to Steph. Since her return things had be both good and bad. Watching her rebuild herself was amazing almost like seeing a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. They had been getting closer which was what he wanted but it was hard on him too. He was a tactile man, used to fulfilling his wants. She was uncomfortable with being touched, though he had a little success, now able to hold her hand and put an arm around her and he was working on wrapping his arms around her, it was hard to keep himself in check.
He was furious with himself for kissing her like that. The first kiss was tantalizing. He could see in her eyes it affected her as much as it did him. He had meant for the second kiss to be soft as well, but when she leant, just that little bit, into him he forgot about that, lost in the feeling, and pulled her into his lap, arm encircling her and his lips crushing down on hers. Then she fainted in his arms. He hit his fists into his head. What an idiot. No wonder she had been avoiding him, sending him shy little smiles every now and then but keeping her distance, he felt like her too had betrayed her.
3 days without her though and he missed her. Tomorrow he would go and see Hector, see if he had any ideas on what he could do to make it up to her. For now, another cold shower and night of restless sleep.
SOoooOOoooOOoo what did you think? Where they any parts that didn't make sence? Any area's that jumped around a bit? Who thought they were doing the nasty at the begining? :P please leave a review, i love to hear your thoughts and it helps me see what parts are meaningful and what parts have flopped which helps me be a better writer. In other news, if you've read my "i need a favour babe" challange pieces (a thank you to all who took that challange) i might have a sequel to one of then coming up.