AN: The abusive violence from Bella's past is mentioned in this chapter. Jasper escorts Bella to Esme's office. He worries about his strong feelings for her, but Carlisle advices him. A little fun.

Chapter Nine: Hi, I'm Bella

Bella, December, 2010

I knew why I was here. I needed this. I needed help.

I couldn't believe that Jasper had witnessed my breakdown and furthermore, that he was more than willing to drive me here today.

I was sitting in the reception area waiting on Dr. Cullen to call me into her office and I was a nervous wreck. It wasn't only at the prospect of opening up about my abusive past, but of what would happen afterwards. How will I move on and start anew? Could I handle things on my own?

I would have to try.

Jasper was sitting beside me, his leg bouncing in anticipation as we waited. I smiled at the move. He has been supportive all morning, but he didn't know the internal struggle I was going through, and I didn't want to burden him anymore than I already had.

He'd showed me so much compassion in the past twenty four hours.

When I messed up with Alice yesterday, he saved me. When I was lost in my mind, he brought me back. He took care of my hand and later that night, he assisted me after a particularly bad nightmare.

"Hello, Bella, it's wonderful to see you again," Esme said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I didn't even know she'd left her office.

"Hi," I said, quietly. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled. "And you? How are you feeling this morning?"

"A little better."

"That's good," she said before turning to Jasper and greeting him.

"Bella, I have to speak with Jasper for just a moment, would you excuse me?"

"Certainly." Esme was one of the kindest women I have ever met. She had a mannerism I hadn't dealt with in a long while. She was treating me with respect, and it felt foreign.

But the Whitlocks and their family were determined to show me a world where this type of manner still existed so I better get used to it.

"She's a great doctor," Mrs. Cope said. "If anyone can help you, it's her."

I smiled. That was good to hear. "Thank you."

Mrs. Cope, as she had introduced herself when I got here this morning, was Esme's secretary. She was a kind elderly woman with a broad smile and a sweet personality. She worked here at Esme's Henderson office while another secretary took care of things at the Houston office, Jasper had explained.

He was amazing.

Esme came back, but Jasper didn't. She smiled and walked over to her office, opening it and gesturing for me to join her inside. And I did.

"Jasper has a shift at the hospital and he said to tell you that he will be back to pick you up when you're through," Esme said, taking a seat behind her desk while I stood on the opposite end.

"Okay."

She looked up at me. "Bella, you can have a seat wherever you feel comfortable."

"Thank you."

I looked around the office at the elegant décor and finding the white sofa so inviting. I moved to it, and took a seat. It was by the window and I loved that.

Esme grinned. "Good. Now, come on, let's get to know each other, shall we?"

"Yes," I whispered, giving her a small smile.

Esme didn't speak; she just sat back, surveying me. "This is a very nice office," I complimented her and she nodded.

My hands were shaking and Esme frowned, glancing down at them. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Nothing," I breathed, trying to sound convincing but failing miserably.

"You're shaking, so I beg to differ," Esme challenged. "Perhaps, if you talk about it, you'll feel better."

"I'm not so sure." I felt like I wanted to talk but I didn't know how.

Ever since the incident with Alice yesterday, I have been jittery around everyone.

Rosalie merely said my name in an excited tone this morning and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I shook uncontrollably. And when I tried to run from the room, I ended up in Jasper's open arms.

I didn't flinch as he wrapped me in his arms while I began to cry. He held on to me until I felt safe enough to let go.

"I know about yesterday, Bella," Esme stated. She wasn't afraid to dig and she was showing me that even though some things would be hard to discuss, we had to push forward. "Would you like to talk about that?"

Looking at her relaxed expression made me feel serene. Esme reminded me of her big sister, Maria. They had so much in common; not only because of their close resemblance, but by Esme's actions. She was as beautiful and straightforward as Maria.

It made me want to trust Esme. Maria has been taking care of me since she helped me back at that gas station, and if Esme was anything like her sister, then I was in good hands.

Furthermore, I wanted to move on.

"When it happened, I didn't see Alice." It was a beginning. I had to start somewhere.

"Who did you see?"

"James."

"Your husband," Esme said.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because of the anger in Alice's voice and how she was blaming me for the iced tea spilling on her dress, when she was the one who ran into me."

"That must have hurt," Esme commented, looking down at my bandaged hands. Jasper had changed them this morning.

"Yes, it did."

"I'm sorry," I shrugged off her apology and she continued, "How did you learn that it wasn't James?"

I had to smile. "Jasper helped me to see that it wasn't."

"That's good…" Esme looked like she wanted to say something else.

"But? It isn't healthy to depend on him, right?"

"Right."

"How do I do it?"

She smiled at my question and got up. She moved from her desk and came to sit across from me in one of the powder blue chairs. "What would you like to do, Bella?"

"I want to close my eyes and not see James trying to kill me. I want to be able to have a good night's rest without a terrifying nightmare causing Jasper to coax me back to reality. I want to live. I want to love. I want to be all I had intended to be."

"By going back," she said simply.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then you'll never truly move forward, Bella," Esme said. "Do you want to?"

"Yes. Desperately."

"Then, let's get started," she said with a smile that I returned.

~~abt~~

Jasper

I went to work in a daze. It was Saturday and since Emmett had to work in my place at the hospital last night, I was now here on the day shift. Carlisle met me at the emergency doors with a cup of coffee and we launched into a conversation surrounding nothing but Bella. I couldn't let her wait until Monday to see Esme so I asked my aunt to come into her Henderson office just for Bella's sake.

"We should talk," Carlisle said with a chuckle.

"We should," I repeated, following him up to his office.

I could confide in Uncle Carlisle. Anything I told him would stay between us unless I said otherwise.

"You feel something for that girl," he casually stated the moment we sat down in his office.

I wanted to lie, because it couldn't possible. Could it? I just met her a few days ago. How in the hell could I feel something for Bella so quickly?

When those thoughts became too much, I finally admitted it out loud. "Yes, but I don't understand it, Carlisle."

"What's there to understand? You feel something for Bella," he stated. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, but what could she feel for me?"

"Friendship, love and all of the above," he stated. "You'd never let him hurt her again, would you?"Carlisle asked.

"Never," I growled.

"Good," he smiled. "Then let's see what happens between you two. Life is funny, Jasper. We never know where it's going to lead us. Mine led me to Esme. Dare I say yours is leading you to the frail girl from out of town?"

He smiled smugly and left me in his office. I hated when he did that shit. But it made me laugh anyways. Carlisle was so much like his little brother, Edward. More than he knew, because Edward would have told me the same damn thing.

But both of them would have been right. Bella was stirring up something inside me. Something intense. I hardly wanted to leave her at Esme's. I had a good mind to wait for her, but Esme sent me away. She didn't condone hovering. She said she wanted Bella to learn to stand on her own two feet.

I agreed, but it still hurt like hell to leave her.

Maybe work will help me. I had to keep it together until Bella's session was up.

Bella

"I loved my mother. And for a long time, I thought that she was the only person who truly cared about me," I said, lying there, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to make out the patterns that the rays from the sunlight streaming in the room was creating.

"What changed?"

"Everything."

"How do you mean?" Esme asked.

I wanted to answer, but couldn't. It was too much, too soon. I couldn't just sit here and tell her my life's story on the first day. I thought there would be other days here in session with Esme and I was looking forward to them, but telling her about my mother seemed like too much at the moment.

Noticing my hesitance, she thankfully said with a smile, "We'll discuss that another time."

I sighed in relief and she chuckled. I felt like I owed her an explanation and she apparently picked up on that. "You don't owe me an explanation, Bella," she said, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"I…I want to…bu…but I can't," I managed to get out.

"I understand," Esme smiled. "Bella, remember that these sessions are for as long as you want them to be. So if you don't feel like talking now, it's fine. I can wait. Would you like to stop here?" she asked. The care in her voice made more tears fall, and before I knew it, I was full blown crying.

Jasper

"Mrs. Calvin, please remember that lobster is not for you, Ma'am. Please, be careful with your allergies," I warned Mrs. Calvin after treating her. I gave her son her prescription, while Mrs. Calvin invited me to church. She told me that there were a lot of eligible young women in there for a young, handsome, single doctor like me to meet.

I smiled and politely thanked her for inviting me.

After leaving the exam room, I found Carlisle and told him to cover for me, I was heading for lunch.

That was partly true.

I was hungry and I hadn't taken a break since I got here this morning, but mostly, I wanted to check up on Bella. After picking up enough lunch for myself, Carlisle, Bella, Mrs. Cope and Esme, I went to Auntie's office.

Mrs. Cope smiled as I walked in, teasing me about checking up on my little friend. She winked as she said that and I ducked my head and blushed. She was right. I was here for my friend.

I offered Mrs. Cope her lunch and she thanked me as Esme's office door opened. But when I saw a crying Bella walk out, I nearly lost it.

Esme shot me a glare before I could say anything as she hugged Bella and then said when they parted, "So, day one."

Bella smiled back. "Day one."

She turned to me and gave me a watery smile. "Hi, Jasper."

"Hey."

I gave Aunt Esme her lunch and thanked her for seeing Bella. She winked at me over Bella's head. "You're more than welcome and please remember what I said." Another glare and I internally rolled my eyes. I knew what she wanted. Aunt Esme had warned me off before I left for work this morning.

Let Bella heal. Don't offer help unless Bella asks. Don't goddamn hover!

But would I heed those warnings?

Fuck no.

After she and Bella set up their next appointment, I escorted Bella out to my truck; opening her door for her and helping her in to my truck, and then jogging around to my side and hopping in.

Bella had a small smile on her face and looked like she wanted to say something. "What?" I asked with a light chuckle, reaching for the lunch bag and pulling out a sandwich, offering it to her, then taking one out for myself.

She took it, fiddling with the wrapper and not meeting my eyes as she said, "This is a big truck."

I laughed at her statement while trying to think of the right thing to say about my Ford F150 pick-up. "I love these types of trucks," I replied after a while. "They work for me. I can use them for work on the ranch and to get to town. They handle heavy loads real well."

"Oh," she whispered before taking a small bite of her food.

"You don't like big trucks?"

She looked terrified for a minute before she started stumbling over her words to explain that she liked my truck and then apologizing if she'd said anything wrong. She sounded so damn near an emotional breakdown and I hated that. I liked the girl that wanted to learn things, but I'd help the one that was afraid.

"It's okay, Bella. I want to hear your opinion."

"Really?" She was looking at me like I had grown two heads.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Bella, I'd love to hear what you're thinking."

She let out a sigh I didn't know she was holding. "Thank you…for everything."

"You're welcome," I smiled and watched her take a small bite of her sandwich.

I started the truck after biting into my own sandwich and drove off. "So…?"

"Yeah," she said, reaching for her drink.

"I've got to head back to the hospital and I've got a problem."

"What kind of problem?" I was hoping like hell Bella would go along with this. If I could get Carlisle to cover for me and I could get out of there a little early.

"I didn't want to take you home just yet," I said. "I kinda wanted us to hang today."

"Why?" she asked, like it was a foreign thing for someone to want to spend time with her. Bella was beautiful and smart. Who wouldn't want to spend time with her?

"Because my house is empty; or should I say, my fridge is empty." She actually chuckled. That was good. I was hoping that would work. I thought that if I went about it in a professional manner – since she would be working from my house – it would make Bella feel more comfortable.

And it worked. "Sure, I'll stay," she said, biting into her food, making me do an internal cheer that she was eating. The sooner I got her to a healthy weight, the better.

"That's good," I replied, shutting up for the rest of drive to the hospital while taking comfort that Bella enjoyed the silence as much as I did.

There, of course, was another reason why I wanted her to stay at the hospital until I was ready to leave. I didn't want to part with her just yet. Something inside of me was screaming for me to take this girl in my arms and never let go.

We arrived at the hospital and I brought her to Carlisle's office to finish our lunch. We casually chatted and I learned about Bella's ambition for the culinary arts. She had such a passion for it. It was great, watching her open up about something she loved.

"You can do just about anything with food, can't you?" I asked, throwing away our trash.

"I just love cooking so much, Jasper," she said, running a hand through her luxurious hair; filling the office with her delicious scent. "When I cook, I'm out of here. I get lost in what I'm creating and it makes me happy."

"That's good, because I'm always happy when I'm eating." I teased her. "So, whenever you need a taster, you know who to ask." She laughed at my offer.

"That's good to know."

Carlisle came in and I gave him his lunch. He thanked me and got to talking with Bella. He wanted to know how she has been since her visit to the hospital and Bella answered every question he had with conviction and mirth.

It was wonderful to hear her laugh. I didn't want her to stop.

Carlisle and I left Bella a little while after that. Carlisle told her she could play a couple of online games to occupy her time or read one of his many books until I was ready to leave.

She agreed.

But heading back on the floor with Carlisle was hard. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to stay and talk to her some more. Bella was such an interesting girl. So sweet and smart.

"You'll be back with her before you know it," Carlisle said as we walked out of the trauma room. We'd just handled an emergency and as soon as I was finished, all I could think about was Bella and wanting to go to her.

"I don't know what the fuck is happening to me," I expressed. "She just got into town and I feel like I've known her forever."

"You're falling, Jasper," Carlisle said. "That's the best explanation I can give you. You're falling for her. But…"

"I know," I cut him off, saying. "Aunt Esme warned me. I've got to be careful with Bella."

"But don't deny your feelings in the process, Jasper," Carlisle said. "It'll eat you up inside."

I nodded and we got back to work.

Work ended later than I would have hoped, but Bella was a trooper. When I went to get her from Carlisle's office, she was so engrossed in her game that she didn't even see me.

"Having fun?"

She jumped a little and giggled. "Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"It's fine. I came to pick you up."

"You're finished?"

"Yeah, sorry I took so long."

"It's fine. You have to help others, Jasper." She passed me with a smile and didn't flinch when our bodies brushed up against each other.

I was speechless and silently followed her out to the parking lot after we found Carlisle so she could tell goodbye. She was in such high spirits.

At my truck, Bella got in on her own after I unlocked it. Hmm, independent, I liked that!

I started the engine, and turned to her. "So, where to?"

"Well, you need food and I need supplies," Bella said, tapping a finger against her chin while her eyes are on me. I was supposed to be figuring something out here.

Then as if a light bulb went off in my head, "Okay," I chuckled and shook my head. "Let's go to the store."

Bella laughed as I drove off.

The drive to the supermarket didn't take too long. It was one of the things I loved about Henderson. Everything was within my reach.

But when we got out of the truck, Bella looked up at the megamart nervously. "What's wrong?"

She was staring straight ahead. "It's just…I guess I'm a little nervous. I knew how to get in and out of the store back in Cali, but I won't know anything here. I'm really starting over."

"So you're nervous and excited?" I prompted.

"Yeah!" She laughed, the nervous energy gone. "It's amazing. I'm really starting over."

"Yes," I whispered and Bella met my eyes, trapping me in her hypnotic orbs. "You really are."

Bella stared at me for what feels like forever, before she finally broke the spell we were under and walked off with me not far behind.

We entered the store and I went to grab a shopping cart, bringing it back to her. "Alright, darlin'…" Bella laughed at the sentiment, although I meant it; more than she knew. "Let's have fun."

"I'll point them out and you'll pick them up," she instructed.

"Got it, Ma'am." She laughed again and walked off.

All through our shopping adventure, I was a pain. I was determined to be a troublemaker and Bella was my unfortunate victim. But she handled me well. She didn't put up with my crap and when I got out of hand, she actually disciplined me. It was great to see!

"Jasper, put that back," she warned when I picked up the Febreze Air Effect and sprayed it on her. "Jasper, quit." I sprayed it on myself making her laugh some more. I loved that sound.

"I like this," I said, throwing the item in the cart and Bella pointed at the Odor Eliminator also. "You know, I wasn't really paying attention when Sue would use these."

"All you knew was that the house smelt nice," Bella said.

"Yeah!"

We went on to the detergents and then food. By the time we were at the cashier, I had a shopping cart full of food and supplies.

I could see the cashier eyeing me, fluttering her eyelashes at me as Bella unloaded the cart. But I had no eye for the girl at the register. I only saw and wanted Bella.

After paying for everything, I lugged it out to my truck, and loaded it up.

An older couple, walking by, stopped and greeted us. "It's really nice of you to help your wife," The elderly woman said.

Bella look mortified and while it pained a part of me that she did, I understood why. She had been through so much.

"Why, thank you Ma'am," I quickly said to the elderly woman as she smiled sweetly at us. "I try to help when I can."

She looked at Bella as her husband smiled on. "Listen here, girl, don't let that one go."

Bella surprisingly nodded. "I won't."

Just hearing her say that, even though she was being nice to the elderly couple, gave me a glimmer of hope.

Maybe. One day.

On the drive home, I reassured Bella that the couple must be from out of town because everyone probably knew I was single again by now.

She nodded, smiled and then shrugged. "Just an honest mistake."

"Yes, it was." But did I want it to be?

For now, yes, but if there could be a future with Bella sticking around, then no. I wanted Bella Swan.

We went straight to my house when we got to the ranch. I drove into the garage and we got out and then I started to flip on the lights. After lighting our path, I went back to the truck, unloading it.

Bella helped.

"You don't have to," I tried, carrying three bags to the kitchen.

"No, I don't," she countered. "But I want to." I smiled and went to get the rest.

Together, we packed everything away while I joked around making her laugh until a yawn left her.

"Whoa, someone is tired."

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "I guess so. I better head over to the main house."

It saddened me that she has to go. A part of me wanted her to stay over at my home with me. But I didn't want to scare Bella by voicing that idea.

"Why don't you take a seat?" I told her, pointing at one of the stools at the kitchen island. "I'll just pack these away and I'll be back to walk you over there."

"It's okay," she smiled. Oh, if only she knew that I wanted to follow her everywhere she went. Bella was doing to things to me that no woman had ever done. I felt so close to her, and it was scary at times. What will I do if she was unable to return these growing feelings?

"No, I insist," I countered, leaving that thought for another time. "Just gimme a minute and I'll walk you over."

She yawned again and softly giggled, moving to the island and taking a seat. "Okay then. I'll wait."

I dashed to the laundry room, and stacked the shelves with the laundry supplies. I practically ran from the room, coming to a stop on my approach to the kitchen. I took a deep breath, relaxing myself, and entered the kitchen only to smile at what I saw.

Bella was fast asleep.

I don't know how long I stood there, until a tiresome yawn left me too. We could head over to the main house when we woke up. I was light sleeper. It will just be a nap for me.

I lifted her up, reveling in how good she felt in my arms and carried her upstairs to the guest bedroom closest to my room. I whispered 'good night' and left her there.

Another yawn left me as I trot to my room. Walking in, I pulled my scrub over my head, and threw myself down on my bed, face first.

"I'm just closing my eyes for a moment," I thought, and as I dozed off, all I could think about was, Bella's smile.