Nightglow Chapter 10: The Hell Of It, a twilight fanfic

Chapter 10: The Hell Of It

When Alice reappeared she was carrying the rocking chair from my bedroom nimbly down the stairs. She had to carefully maneuver to clear the low ceiling, but as usual she made it look all too easy; she looked both casual and put together, her delicate elfin features ready for mischief. The girl I'd spent the last hour with had been pushed back to the margins of her makeup, the deathly circles under her eyes safely tamped down beneath pale concealer.

"We're junking this, right?" she asked.

I answered with mock outrage,"So? Is that how it's going to be? Not even pretending that you can't read my mind?"

She waved off my accusation with a dismissive little flick of her wrist, holding up the entire weight of the chair with her other hand, "Maybe my super power is granting wishes, have you thought of that? Maybe that guy in the van was wishing right at that moment that he'd see a topless girl? Face it, I'm basically your friggin' fairy godmother over here, makin' all your dreams come true."

I let her squeeze past me to place the chair by the front door. I felt a little off balance but I wasn't totally adverse to her antics, "You think you're really clever, don't you."

"Oh please, Bella! I'm adorable! Plus, I have so many good ideas for your room! Just you wait."

"I'm not so sure about that," I started, "but look, about just now in the bathroom..."

The too-loud metallic ringing of the telephone in the kitchen startled me out of finishing my thought.

"Hold that for just a moment," Alice cut in smoothly, "you should get the phone first."

The phone couldn't have interrupted me more thoroughly if she'd planned it. It rang again right as I tried to tell her it could wait, and, as if she hadn't heard me, she added, "It might be important? Maybe it's your dad trying to catch you before you head out?"

There was something that felt off about her cheerfulness. It had been that way since she'd come downstairs. Whatever was up, she'd hit on the right thing to say to get me to answer the phone. Her tight smile relaxed a smidge when she saw me turn towards the kitchen.

I grabbed the black handset off the wall and tangled my fingers through the phone cord. As unenthusiasticly as I could muster, I answered it, "Hello?"

"Bella! Oh man, it's good to hear you. I wasn't sure when your school let out so I wanted to give you a chance to get home first." The voice was young and masculine—just last year it had been full of cracks and squeaks but now it had grown into a warm deep timbre.

I couldn't help it, I broke out into a huge smile. Fucking A it was good to hear from him too.

"Mine gets out a quarter after three," I replied, my smile creeping into my voice, "I'm guessing the tribal school keeps you later. Shit, Jake, I'm sorry I haven't called yet."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I wanted to give you a chance to settle in before I started bugging you again. So how you liking being back in Forks? Going crazy from the lack of sun yet?"

I chuckled and cradled the receiver closer, "You would not believe the week I've been having. Would not believe. Man, I haven't been sleeping. And the rain is driving me crazy. There's so much bizarre green everywhere! I don't know, I never thought I'd miss the desert this much."

"Those green things are called plants, Bella, and you'll get used to them. It's gonna be nice and sunny this weekend for the barbecue, so we have that to look forward to."

"Yeah, we should definitely hang out then! Come over early and we'll watch a movie or something before the celebration. What do you want for your belated b-day gift by the way? It seems stupid that I'd miss it by a week like this but that's just how things ended up with the move school-wise."

"It's fine, it's no big deal to put it off a weekend like this. But really, I don't need much. You got a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit sitting around by chance?"

I snorted, "You know I don't have a clue what that would even look like. Come on, what do you really want? I'm making you a cake no matter what, but I want to get you something too."

He paused to think about it, "Just get me something cool the next time you go thrift shopping. Maybe something stupid that I can put up on the wall of the garage? Oh, hey, I nearly forgot, how do you like the truck anyway? The thing's a beast, right!"

It wasn't that Alice had moved exactly, but somehow I felt her eyes on me as I talked. The invisible bubble that Jake and I shared was popped. I looked up and she was standing perfectly still in the kitchen doorway with her head cocked, considering me carefully. She gave me a gentle smile when she saw that I'd noticed her.

It was crazy how fast I could get pulled into Jake's world. He drove away the clinging shadows in my life so effortlessly. Every time we reconnected it was like there hadn't been any time in between.

He was a good two years younger than me and he hadn't hit his height yet. We went to different schools and came from different cultures. I was a homebody booknerd while he enjoyed working on cars and reading comics—on paper we had nothing in common and it didn't make sense that we'd be friends. Given the age difference it was maybe even a little unusual. Goddamn though, I loved that kid. He'd always been there to shoot the shit with me when things were miserable, and we just clicked in that undefinable way. It didn't matter what we talked about or if the other person gave a damn about listening to me rave about books that had been maybe-scandalous two hundred years ago. Or him talk about skateboards. Holy shit do I not care about skateboarding, or skate videos, or playing Tony Hawk, but I've listened to that stuff for hours anyway. Just talking and being that lifeline. Talking at all was enough.

"I love the truck! It runs great. Way better than I could have asked for. Listen, Jake, I've actually got a friend over right now. I am dying to catch up though, so can I call you later tonight or something?"

"You have a friend over? You made a friend? No really, who are you and what have you done with the real Bella?"

I laughed, "It's not that unbelievable. I almost had friends back in Phoenix. Statistically I was bound to attract some kind of stalker eventually. Um, it's Alice Cullen. We're going to go clothes shopping I guess?"

"That sounds totally reasonable, Pod-Person Bella, as it is a well known fact how much you love clothes shopping and how you would willingly go out and engage in such activities with your normal human friend Alice," he threw in a kinda robotic voice at the end there, imitating the kind of schlocky sci-fi stuff I liked.

I bit my lip and stiffled a laugh at that. If only he knew. Oh shit! Actually, him not knowing was going to suck. It was going to be this huge awkward topic to try and dodge, and, when it came to accidentally over-selling my lies, I put the ham in sham.

Could I get away with telling him somehow? There's no way he'd ever believe me. I glanced over at Alice and she must have seen my hesitation because she mimed for me to cover the mouthpiece on the phone.

"So, I should probably let you go," he continued, his easy infectious laughter still lingering in my ear.

I hurried to stop him, "Hold on a second, okay. Alice is trying to get my attention."

I covered the mouthpiece with my free hand and turned to Alice who had ghosted closer to me across the hideous green linoleum floor.

"Who's Jake?" she asked as neutrally as possible. She looked unusually serious, like she was working out a puzzle of some kind.

"Jacob Black, Billy's son. He's the one who did all the work on my truck," I shrugged. "He's my best friend maybe. We've sort of known each other since he was born."

"I see," she mulled it over, "that's somewhat convenient actually. You two are close, huh. Would you say he's someone you could confide in?"

She was acting strange; I didn't like it. I was struck by a protective feeling towards Jake.

"We're real close. I could probably tell him anything. Hey, what's the matter? Are you jealous? We're just good friends and all that. It'd be too weird if we dated I think. You shouldn't worry about it."

She looked at me with a blank uncomprehending expression, "I wasn't worried about it. I want to talk to him, I think. Do you mind?"

Before I could say much of anything she'd glided forward and pressed herself tight against my side. Was this really okay? I offered up the handset and she rested her forearm on my shoulder as she scootched in so that the phone was positioned between our faces where I could listen.

"Hi! This is Alice. I'm going to be taking Bella out this evening," suddenly she was all pep and sugar when she spoke, her cold calculations submerged within her honeyed voice.

"Uh, hey. I'm Jake. And yeah, I know who you are. So, that's great I guess? What's up?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to correct you is all. I'm not Bella's normal human friend Alice. I'm Bella's cold one friend Alice Cullen! It's an easy mistake to make, so don't worry about it."

That got a laugh out of Jake but I could have throttled her. What was she playing at?

He whistled through the receiver, "I'll admit, I'm impressed! I didn't think you all knew the stories we told about your family. They're not something I put much stock in; hopefully you're not too offended by a bit of local color like that. Now, what can I do for you, miss Cullen?"

She smiled innocently and I tried to get in a more comfortable position for us both to huddle around the phone. There was a lot of Alice pressed against me and I found I didn't half mind it.

"Actually I just wanted to remind you that you're bound by treaty to not tell outsiders about me and my family. Bound on pain of death," she said in a sing-song, "and that includes Bella. Or really, specifically, I'm concerned about Bella. I don't want you two taking a companionable walk along the beach and having the whole sad story coming out."

Jake came back hard in my defense, "Is that a threat?"

Alice shook her head, something only I could see, "No, it's a reminder that you have a duty. We both keep each other's secrets. That's the agreement! You weren't there to sign it, and neither was I, but we're both still going to keep it."

"What secrets? The tribe doesn't have any secrets? Look, sure I know about the treaty, it's ancient news, but the only way any of it matters is if what you're saying isn't total crap."

Alice turned a little so she was almost facing me and I felt her free hand slip under the bottom of my hoodie and shirt. Cold fingers gently raked across my bare tummy at just the right speed to be totally intolerable.

Through my distraction I faintly heard her say, "I've got my claws on your best friend though. Maybe you should give it some thought?"

I grabbed for her wrist, giggles forced from my lips, "Get out of there, you! Come on, that tickles!"

She evaded me and my eyes widened as a frigid little digit intruded on the sanctity of my belly button. "Oh! None of that now! Your hand is freezing."

She let me pull her hand out before it became too much for me, before my knees buckled and I started to lose it laughing. I grabbed wildly for support and ended up grabbing her arm and having her put the phone to my ear.

Jake sounded worried, "What was that Bells? What did you just say?"

I held onto the phone and pulled away from her, "It was nothing, Alice was just being a little shit is all."

"You said her skin was cold?"

I let out a sigh and looked over at Alice for help. She held up her hands as if to signal her innocence

Guess it was up to me, "She was tickling me to get a rise out of you, and yeah, her touch could generally be described as blighted and icy. She knows it gets to me enough on its own, so she'd have to be an absolute monster to add in tickling as well. Three days! I've only known her three days, Jake! This is the kind of week I'm having."

He sounded a little incredulous, "There's so much about what you just… You know what, no, never mind. I guess you really did make a friend. Huh, so, how about that?"

"Yeah? I guess I did. It's kind of great actually. Well, it was awful at first but then it started being great? Alice is a blast, and being around her kind of makes me look forward to this next year of school in a weird way. Like, the idea that I might actually have a future of some kind is still pretty novel, ya know, given everything with my mom."

"About that, Bella, can I talk to you alone for just a second? Like for real alone."

I looked up to try to locate Alice and heard the closet door out in the hallway slam. Alice walked into the kitchen doorway looking smug and wearing a white sun hat of mine from long ago that she'd found God knows where. She curtseyed at me in her cute spring outfit, "I'll be out in the yard, so say whatever you need to. Things are going to work out Bella, I just know it. Now, don't leave me waiting too long, ok?"

I turned my attention back to Jake, "You're in luck, she's just stepping outside now. I'm sure you have questions."

"Not really, it all makes some kind of terrible sense in a way. If anyone was going to stumble into something stupid like this, it'd be you. I, just, if this is some kind of joke, then now's the time to point and laugh at me, because I'm starting to buy into it a little. You're not a good enough actor to pull this off, so I'm leaning towards you thinking this is real."

"You mean about her being a cold one? Nah, we're both being serious. I've seen enough weird shit so far that I'm positive it's true. She doesn't have a reflection; you can't fake that kind of thing."

"She's outside, right? You're sure she actually left the house? As long as she did you should be safe for now."

I peeked out the window and she was kicking apart the rocking chair on the curb with childlike enthusiasm. She turned and waved at me with a little hop as soon as I looked for her.

"Yeah, I can see her out on the lawn. But, I'm telling you, I'm safe with her no matter what. Between her and her brother, I've spent like four and a half hours alone with them today. If they were going to drag me off into the woods I think they'd have just done it already without all the preamble. Honestly, they seem kinda lonely and isolated if anything. And their people skills seriously suck! Man, what am I even doing?"

Jake sounded serious and a little upset, "I'm sorry, but this is kind of like if you told me you'd made friends with a Frankenstein. I'd tell you that's nice but it's a real dumb idea in general to take it shopping. Or like, let it tickle you. That girl could probably tear you in half with her bare hands if the legends are true."

"Come on, Jake, we've been over this. It'd be a Frankenstein's monster, not a Frankenstein. And you all must have made the treaty because they were safe enough to be around, right? Please, just be with me on this. I need someone I can talk to about this, because it's exciting but it's also fucking overwhelming. I know with all my heart too that I don't want to stop. I can trust in you to watch out for me, right?"

He was torn, "You're killing me Bells. What I should do is call your dad and try to convince him or something. Wait, he fawns over Alice doesn't he? Fuck. I'm not even sure how I'd convince anyone since I almost don't believe it myself. I should try and stop you. I could at least tell you everything. I mean everything. I don't give a fuck about the treaty. I think you've actually already heard the stories when you were younger, but I guess they didn't mean much back then."

"Sorry, I really don't remember. Just leave it alone for now and be there for me, like you always are. I'm going out shopping with Alice. I don't want to know what a cold one is. Her boyfriend Jasper is going to drive us. We haven't really talked about it, but we might end up hitting up Port Angeles if there's nothing local worth getting. I'll be home by nine and Charlie already knows I'm going."

"Call me every hour," he demanded, "please, just to make sure you're alive and safe. There's not much I can do, I can't even legally drive to come rescue you if you go that far out, not that it would stop me, but I can do this at least. At least for tonight. This whole thing is fucked and it's a lot to take in at once. I'm going to trust you Bells, so please, for your sake, I hope you know what you're doing."

My heart soared, "Thank you Jake! When I get home I'm telling you everything about my week. And I'll call you every hour until then, I promise. I mean, the three of us are just going shopping, what could even go wrong?"

I heard him groan and slam his head against the wall on the other end, "Why would you even say that!"

Alice was waiting for me when I stepped outside. She was standing beneath the tree where she'd killed the bird, creeping shadows muting her cheery outfit. She looked beautiful and ethereal; somehow the gloomy weather suited her. I couldn't imagine her living in the sunlight and heat back in Arizona.

She was on the defensive right away, her voice sharp "As the son of the hereditary chief, Jacob was always doomed to know about us. That's why I told him. Or really, he already knew, he just didn't believe, so I got his hackles up for you. I did what I needed to do, I think," she paused and some of her confidence faltered, "tell me, did I do the right thing?"

"Yeah, everything's fine so long as I provide hourly proof of life. Can I borrow your cell phone for the evening?"

She smiled, reassured, and handed it over, "A small price to pay, all things considered. That could have gone much worse, believe me. Now, shall we?"

She hooked her arm through mine and we started off towards the sporting goods store.

The wind had lurched back to life and it haltingly pushed us on our way but otherwise it was a remarkably quiet afternoon. Alice filled the silence by rambling about herself, which was a nice change from our game of questions.

The major thing I found out was that she was addicted to the show America's Next Top Model, a fact that was almost alarming in its normalcy at first. She was excited that each cycle had been better than the last, and that the most recent one was a tour de force of trash TV. In particular she was jazzed that the contestant who won the last one, Eva, was the shortest of the girls competing. Apparently 6'7" is short for a model, which is still a little taller than I am.

As I listened to her rattle off facts about the show I realized three things: first, that she knew a hell of a lot about the reality of the fashion industry versus its portrayal on the show. She talked about the first cycle as being the most revealing and critical of the unglamourous, grueling life of a low grade model, as well as the petty meanness and sadism that could be found in some of the industry's primadonnas. Frankly, she was talking like someone who had lived through fashion week, which she joked was really more like fashion month, instead of someone who'd just read about it or seen it on TV.

Second, I realized that she was, in a round about way, hinting we should watch the next cycle together when it started airing again in the spring. Or maybe, like, start watching an older cycle right now on tape? Like I said, she was not being direct, but her, me, and America's Next Top Model were certainly some kind of plan in her head.

More alarming than the thought that I might very well end up watching a reality show about fashion was the fact that there were no animals to be seen anywhere. That absence had been part of why it had felt so quiet at first. Even in the winter the birds still talk to each other, except for today apparently. Squirrels perch on branches, rabbits hide in plain sight, dogs watch through neighborhood windows, and nature moves. Or, it should.

Now that I'd noticed it, I was able to watch as far down the block a pair of rabbits raised their little bunny noses high into the air, froze for just an instant, and then took off running frantically southward across the empty field and through the RV park towards the relative safety of the woods. The wind was at our back; all of nature was terrified of the thing that I was walking with.

Alice noticed my concern and took my hand in hers, "You spaced out there. Everything all right?"

I ran the ball of my thumb back and forth between her joint and knuckle. Her hand felt dainty and fragile in mine, even if I knew it wasn't true. I was grateful for the contact; it was only Alice after all.

"Everything's fine," I answered, "I'm just still getting used to things, I guess. Say, by the way, have you ever worked as a model or something? Your whole family gives off super model vibes. I get that it's a weird question, but fashion seems to be, well, a passion for you."

She squeezed my hand and gave me a soft-sad, vulnerable smile, "I'd be lying if I said I had no connections to the industry, but no, never as a model. I'll never be a model."

I was instantly sorry I'd asked. Oh shit. How fucking oblivious could I be? I'd been listening but I hadn't been paying attention.

She collected her thoughts and tried to explain it, and, as she did, the usual lark-song of her voice warbled with a note of bitterness, "I'm not really photogenic, and, even if that wasn't true, there's just no such thing as a four foot ten model. I dress them all in clothing that I love, and I even taught Jazz how to strut a catwalk as a spot of fun, but no matter what I wear, or what I design, it's not much better than playing pretend. I mean, what's the point of fashion for a life lived always out of the limelight?"

"Ouch," I winced, "You're probably the most elegant person I've ever met. You're already way beyond my level; I can't imagine you ever feeling like you don't measure up. It probably sounds lame, but what you do matters to me! And I'm sure it matters to Jazz! So, it's not pointless."

Her fingers intertwined with mine, digits sliding softly tip to tip. She shook off her sadness like water gliding off of scales, the outside world forgotten again by a girl that the world forgot.

"Want to hear a secret?" she grinned up at me, "Sometimes I get jealous of Rosalie. If I had her looks and her stature and I was human, I'd storm the fashion world, I just know it. It'd be an awful bloodbath of poise and grace."

I tried to answer thoughtfully, determined not to put my foot in my mouth again, "She might just be the most beautiful woman in the world, even I can see that, but if you looked like that I don't think I could ever approach you. You're perfect how you are right now. What I mean is you're just right for me, and I wouldn't trade you in for any other Alice."

I watched the small dark forms of field mice scamper across the road ahead of us, fleeing in the other direction.

"Good, that makes me happy," she beamed, "besides, Rosalie's got it the worst of any of us as far as that sort of stuff goes."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, everyone's got a person or two they wouldn't mind being, but as vain as she is, and as proud of her looks, she'd give that all up in a heartbeat if she could just have a child of her own. She'd trade places with just about anyone. Her and Emmett have talked about adopting, but they'd run into the same kind of issues I'm having cozying up with you, and eighteen years is a long time to beat the odds. If it ended in tragedy she'd probably shatter and never recover. In truth, that heartbeat that she's waiting for will never come again. That's the tragedy of Rosalie."

The wind felt colder. The dry field next to us felt more barren. There was nothing to say to that and we walked the rest of the way in silence. I wished, not for the first time, that Alice's hand on mine could warm that uneasy chill.

Alice stopped us in the parking lot in front of Pacific Pizza, a squat unassuming building a stone's throw from Newton's Outfitters.

She did an exaggerated finger-gun motion at the restaurant's row of windows, "I know Jasper is in there waiting for us. Sooo, I've been looking for a chance to to mention it, but Jazz and I don't keep secrets from each other. We tell each other everything worth telling, which is generally very little in a sleepy town like this."

I flushed thinking about the things she might mention about this afternoon. "Everything, huh?"

"Yes, but! I'm going to break the news about how much you know very slowly to him. Like, over the whole next week I think. So, try not show off? Ok? I want to ease him into it so he doesn't freak out or decide he's failing to properly protect the family."

I nodded, "Thanks, I guess I can appreciate that."

"As a species we're not that good with rapid change, we always need the slow movement towards a tipping point first. The bigger the change the longer the lead time before a sudden shift."

"Huh," the more I heard about them the less human their minds seemed, "in that case, what was happening with you before I showed up?"

She gave me a sly smile, "You're a clever one, aren't you? For now, I think Jazz could use some cheering up. Did you happen to notice the necklace he was wearing earlier?"

"You mean the one his Machi gave him?"

She looked genuinely surprised, "He told you about that? Well, that saves me explaining at least. That person, they were very important to him. I can see him sitting inside and it looks like he changed his clothes but he's still wearing that necklace."

I squinted but I couldn't spot him through the dark windows, "He's brooding is what you mean. Probably sitting in front of an uneaten plate of breadsticks and picking at them"

"Right," she chirped, "so, what I want to do is something to honor their memory but also to bring him back to the present. It'll be easy, just go around the building from the north and then mimic what I do when you bump into us at the south corner. It'll be fun!"

I looked at her skeptically, "Wait, why do I need to go around the building for that?"

Instead of answering she stared at the building with a dazed look on her face. I felt her hand in mine go slack. I let go and rubbed my fingers for warmth. After nearly a minute I snapped my fingers in front of her face, "Alice, why do I need to go around?"

She came back with a start, like it had only been a second of distraction, her smiling confidence covering over the missing gap, "Well, so you're moving against the wind when you approach, silly. He relies on his talent too much to track people by their emotions, but you'll slip by undetected. Plus, I'll provide cover for the noise you'll make. You'll totally take him by surprise!"

"I'm officially confused, so how is this a good thing?"

She deftly took my purse from me and if it hadn't snagged for a second I almost wouldn't have noticed the movement, "Ambush games are kind of a cold one thing. He might be impressed if you can pull it off. Now, no more questions. Go around, surprise him, then copy what I was doing. He's about to notice me so I need you to get moving now for any of this to work."

She dropped my hand and blew me a playful kiss as I ducked behind a white car and shuffled along, crouched over, towards the corner of the building where she'd pointed. The trip around the perimeter was enough time to realize how stupid I looked doing this, and that I had no idea if I was moving too fast or two slow to make this half-baked plan of hers work out. Alice was always one step ahead, but sometimes I felt a little left behind.

As promised, they were dead ahead of me on the sidewalk as I rounded the south corner of the pizzeria. I felt like an exaggerated cartoon character as I crept forward, but it was working. Alice did a little curtsy towards Jasper and playfully kicked at a stray rock from the planter in front of the building. Jasper's broad back was to me and he was wearing some kind of fitted shirt in a soft gray or lavender color with faint pinstripes, a conspicuous lack of a jacket, and black suspenders.

Before that moment I'd have said that the hypothetical wearing of suspenders would be a hardline deal breaker for me, but damn it, he actually kind of made them look good. Faced with this reality, could I cope? Was I actually still attracted to a man despite the presence of suspenders? Oh God, what was I becoming?

I must have scuffed my shoe against the ground or something during my distracted and farcical musings because he started to turn his head towards me, only for Alice's nimble fingers to appear on his cheek and turn his face back towards her, probably for a kiss. That reflexive ghost of a movement was enough to send my heart drumming out a staccato pitter-patter of excitement, of anticipation. This time would be different. I was hunting him. I was going to get him. I had him in my sights and I just had to control myself until I was close enough.

They assumed a position facing each other that I couldn't see as I inched along the side of the building. I heard her say, "Mari mari futa Jasper," which was easy enough to remember.

My heart almost hurt with the tension. Patience. Patience. How could he not hear it stammering away like gunfire? I was bungling this but he didn't turn around.

He answered her, "Mari Mari kure Alice," his tongue fitting roughly around words that were definitely not Spanish. A Chilean greeting then? That would fit with what I'd been told.

It was about this point that I stumbled on a rock and lunged forward in desperation. So close.

To paint the scene here, It was a completely clean sidewalk and there was only one small rock on it, the one Alice had kicked towards me. The odds against it were astronomical. I just had time for two thoughts. One, was, that somehow, in some inexplicable way, she had set me up. The second was the delayed recognition that sneaking up on Jasper might be a terrible dangerous idea.

I don't know what I expected, for him to take a swipe at me most likely, but when my fingers brushed impotently against the loose fabric of his shirt bunched up from his belt at the small of his back he jumped like a cat. What I mean is that he didn't hop slightly away from me like you'd expect. Instead, he leap up and slightly forward with a choked off cry of fear. His landing was rough and jittery, not graceful like most of his movements, but after that he used his momentum to pitch forward and place his left hand on the sidewalk and whip his body around to face me—a move that by all rights should have ripped his palm to shit. He ended up in a defensive crouch with one hand on the pavement and the other raised to defend himself. To go with the startled cat simile, if he had fur, his tail would be all poofed out right now.

I finished stumbling after him and caught myself on the side of the building without stepping on my skirt and making things worse. As soon as he saw it was me he stood up and made some dusting off motions at his waist, as if his dignity were still intact. I have to admit, my still pounding heart thrilled at it. Both at having turned the tables on him, a small taste of power, of fear, and also at the small hint of a smile of admiration that played across his face. Next time, I'd do better next time, but this was still a win.

Alice meanwhile was sitting on the sidewalk laughing her ass off. I glanced at the restaurant windows to my left and saw the curious faces of some of the girls in my class watching us. No one I knew, thankfully, but I was sure this whole scene would make its way to Jessica and Lauren before the end of the day.

Without a word Jasper stepped up into my space and took my hands in his, intertwining our fingers and holding our hands up together level with my heart. What? I could just about die from embarrassment. Alice laughed even harder when she saw my expression.

Oh right, the greeting! I took the initiative and mimicked the words I'd heard from Alice, "Mari mari futa Jasper."

He pulled back slightly in surprise, and if he had any color at all I'd have said he went white at my words.

"Mari mari lamnien Bella. The word you should be using is lamnien; to the Mapuche all people are brothers and sisters, and that's what that word means. My Machi taught me this greeting; generally, I try not to forget the things she brought into my life."

Alice had stood and she cut in and took my hands from his with a dancer's grace, replacing his fingers with her own.

We exchanged greetings using the word lamnien, which seemed to put Jasper at ease. I was tempted to use "kure" for her instead, but it seemed like it might be a word like girlfriend or betrothed, and even as a joke I wasn't sure I wanted to throw that around with her now that I knew better.

"Well it's a nice greeting, but, a little intimate I'd say."

"It is, isn't it?" Alice chimed. "But it's more than that. In Chile, amongst the Mapuche, to be greeted like this is to be acknowledged as a person. As a family, we're often shunned or ignored in Forks, we're the un-people in the room, so it's soothing to do this and know that you see us Bella."

Once again Alice had killed the conversation in the most lovely way possible. The was an awkward lull where none of us knew what to say. Beyond that, this was the first time that all three of us had really hung out and there was a strange intensity in the air as we figured out where to start. I took a chance to examine Jasper's outfit from the front: in addition to the odd shirt and the suspenders, the look was completed by steely gray slacks and a black studded leather belt. Instead of a tie he'd opted for that same silver collar from before.

"That's a good look on you," I said, wincing at my own earnestness.

Alice gave me a toothy grin, "It's Vivienne Westwood from her autumn & winter collection for this year. It hasn't been the best year for men's wear, but my buyer found me some good stuff."

"You're really serious about this stuff, aren't you?" I asked.

Jasper ran his hand through her spiked up hair affectionately, "I'm afraid she is, but we all love her for it. As much as we might complain, she certainly brings some much needed color into our lives. And I don't just mean about the clothes. With that in mind, I think we promised to get you a coat."

She darted forward and looped her arm through mine while the more languid Jasper took up the a cautious distance on the other side of me.

Alice looked me in the eyes and said very seriously, "Don't worry Bella, it might just be retail shopping, but you're still in good hands."

Shopping with Alice was shockingly fun! Back home with my mom I'd learned to dread buying clothes. She was agonizingly slow, made terrible suggestions for what I should try on, and never helped me make up my mind. Her idea of who I was always overwhelmed reality. We got along in other ways, but I dreaded going shopping.

I never felt like I looked good. I'm skinny-fat, small chested, and even now after puberty I still haven't picked up the art of buying things that actually hang right on me. When I got old enough I started just buying the same things year after year and opting for T-shirts and other things that could just safely be too big on me. Clothing I could hide in.

Everything Alice brought me I loved. It was all the right size, in colors I liked, and when I put on a coat she'd spin me around and tell me what she liked about it. It all looked like me. She didn't measure me or anything, she simply stated I was about a size two and then went at it.

Her lack of focus and her over-enthusiasm dragged the process out a bit, but at the same time the tedious uncertain parts were mysteriously missing. There was no shifting through whole racks of stuff that all looked the same to me, instead she kind of danced around the small clothing area, pulling things from the overstuffed fixtures that she knew I'd respond favorably to. The more things I tried on the more definite her selections became.

Jasper generally hung back, but if something looked nice on me he'd tell me so. It was a little hard to take and I kept protesting, but his straightforwardness was also sort of refreshing.

We all quickly settled on a bright red rain jacket for me that was pretty plain except for a thick white bar running horizontally across the front and back. I thought Alice was going to fight me on it, but instead she looked pleased and said it was the one. It was on sale for about thirty dollars, which I could live with.

Alice scampered out of sight to go try her magic with the winter coats. Not that I needed one all that badly since there are only a few days a year here where it gets super nasty out. She was aggravatingly insistent about getting me one, even going so far as to conjure up far fetched hypotheticals, like asking me what I would do if I went camping in the mountains without a coat and got snowed in and developed hypothermia. What then, indeed? It was patently absurd, but still she was doing me a favor in a way so I was inclined to humor her.

Jasper stepped up next to me and patted me on the back hard, "Since we've got a moment in private, I suppose I should congratulate you. I didn't think you had the guts, but no hard feelings from me about it. I didn't really want you to do it and it makes things a little awkward, I'll admit, but I'd like to think I can be a mature adult here and just say welcome to the family."

I looked over at him, he was standing much stiffer than normal and he looked like he didn't know where to put the hand he'd just touched me with. Eventually he pushed a golden lock of hair out of his face and stuck a thumb through his suspenders. I wanted to reach out and swat his hand away.

"Jazz, what in fuck's name are you talking about?" I snapped.

"I'm just trying to be upfront is all. Don't know if she told you this, but she'd never actually been with a woman before. I can see the appeal of you, so I can't entirely fault her choice."

I let out a hard breath of surprise, "I know you were worried about something happening, but you've got the wrong idea. Nothing happened."

His eyes narrowed, "I don't think I'm being too hasty here. You both show up late, in new outfits, freshly showered, wearing each other's clothes even. And, to top it off, you've both got the fading scent of arousal clinging about your legs."

"Wait, what? Both of us? No, no, no, I get how this looks, but..."

He smiled beautifully, and he was equal parts inspiring and menacing, "But nothing. I wasn't a newborn yesterday. I just said I'm fine with it, so don't try to bullshit me."

I'm sure my jaw had a stubborn cast to it because after a few beats he sighed and pinched his nose. For being something of a man's man he could be surprisingly prissy in his less guarded moments.

"Fine," he said, "I'll concede the point if you say you two weren't making the beast with two backs, but I'm sure something happened and that it wasn't all that innocent. For one thing, you're both radiating an intimacy that wasn't there an hour ago. I'm the emotions guy, remember? And besides that, you haven't stopped smiling like a dork since you showed up."

"Come on Jazz, I'm all smiles all the time. You know me," I lied through my teeth, to comical effect.

Some of the tension, the possessiveness, left his gaze and he cracked up a little, "Normally one only smiles like that after getting laid, but I'll allow that you might be something of a late bloomer."

That prick. Well, I mean, he wasn't totally off base with most what he'd said… "Ok, so if I'm smiling, maybe it's 'cause I trounced you! How did that fear taste earlier! In your face!" My deflection was painfully obvious, but bless his heart he actually let it drop. It wasn't a disagreement I'd been expecting to have and I was glad to avoid digging myself in deeper, but still, if that was really his response to suspected infidelity on Alice's part, he was actually kind of a classy guy about it. It really had been something more than nothing after all.

He laughed and, without thinking, he ran his hand over the braided side of my head in a motion I'd seen him do to Alice. Nearby I saw a chubby middle aged woman unconsciously veer off course while looking at the racks, going the long way around us without realizing there was anything she was avoiding.

As for me, I kept glancing at those fucking suspenders of his. Something about them, and how they were paired with his ornate sliver collar, well he almost looked like someone who'd stepped out of an old photo or something. A man lost halfway between the wilderness and the modern world. I wondered what color his eyes had once been. I hoped they'd been blue.

He sounded wistful, "Its been a long time since I was caught off guard; I was wondering where you were but I didn't think you'd dare to try it. I'll have to get you back for that. And, next time, you should do it without Alice cheating for you. What was the problem, you couldn't make it the last five feet on your own without giving yourself away?" he sneered slightly but his eyes were still playful. "Still, it was, it was really nice. You're surprising, it's one of your good points."

I grinned and fidgeted with a random sweatshirt on the rack next to me, "You said you could see my appeal. Does that mean I can start fishing for compliments?"

He seemed to weigh what to say to my teasing, "That depends. I meant it in a good way when I said it, about seeing your appeal, but if I'm being honest there's a rather more unfavorable take on things that comes to mind. Do you want the pleasant version or the cruel one first? They're both the truth."

"Cruel," I said very quietly, supremely embarrassed at actually admitting it. I wouldn't get much out of the pleasant one, while a safe dose of cruelty might be something I could cling to and perversely feel better about my worthlessness.

"Ok, so, I'm sure I mentioned our cousins in Alaska, the Denali sisters. People with our medical condition need to be careful about who we associate with but they're basically a bunch of nymphos, that's their whole thing, so they've got this whole list of criteria that they look for in a potential lover."

My shoulders drooped, "Oh, that doesn't sound good."

He patted me on the back again, softer this time, "Cheer up, you're an excellent candidate. You're lonely and isolated; I know because Alice tried to find anyone in school who could tell her about you from before you stopped visiting Forks and no one knows you. You're also hesitant to confide in others or bother them with your problems; for instance, I know you didn't tell Charlie about our first meeting in the lunchroom since I haven't got a phone call from him telling me to stay away from his daughter or he'll fucking shoot me."

"I can't imagine Charlie ever saying something like that. Maybe, just maybe, as a joke, I guess."

"Yeah, well, he already did tell me that a while back, those exact words, but I think he's softened towards me since then. Anyway, next on the list, you have a disregard for your personal welfare and a willingness to ignore red flags. You're here with us, so 'nuff said about those things."

"Har har," I pretended to laugh. He kind of had a point though. Like, even that little quip about Charlie was a red flag if I thought about it, but I just couldn't muster the concern for some reason.

He put his hand on my neck casually and I felt a surge of sympathy that was clearly his, as opposed to him trying to alter my own emotions. I guess that lack of alarm really was mine then and not a manipulation. Fuck, his power was a headache to deal with in some ways.

"Finally," he continued, "they suggest that finding someone just emerging from a long depression is the best. Those people have enough just energy and motivation to be stupid while staying manageable and they often display a gulping sad lust for life. How's life been since you decided to get away from Arizona?

"Tanya, one of the three sisters, has a rather overbearing interest in my proclivities and presumes rather too much, but her exact words were, 'Jasper, you should try looking for someone only slightly broken so they don't get needy and boring too fast, the best bets are lonely bookworms and the crying artistic types, but not one so wilting that it's a chore to talk to him.' Now, I know Alice wouldn't ever think this way, but you have to admit from a certain perspective you're the perfect pick for a friend."

I brushed his hand off and the sympathetic feelings vanished mercifully, "A perfect victim you mean, don't you. So what? I'm just a gentle sheep bumbling around with the wolves? A lamb for the slaughter, if you can even be bothered?" My words burned with all the venom I could muster.

He looked horrified at my outburst, like genuinely unnerved. I was getting used to our back and forths and it was alarming to see him falter, especially for no reason like this. He slunk back, bumping into the clothing rack behind him and nearly topping it over. If his hand had come away wet with blood from touching me he could not have looked more agitated. It was starting to freak me out a little in turn. Jasper was a cool customer and this wasn't like him at all.

"No, you're different. Not like the rest. I only mistook you for prey before we really met." He sounded a bit desperate, like he'd walked himself off a cliff in the dark and he was trying to find something rushing by to grab onto. I don't know who he was trying to convince. I certainly wasn't buying it.

"No Jazz, I'm just a regular stupid human girl. I'm not especially remarkable and there are plenty of other girls out there like me. Even in my own life I don't think I'm main character material, I'm more like a stock character that you'd find anywhere."

He looked at me with pleading golden eyes, "Shit, I'm such an asshole, aren't I? I just wanted to congratulate you about Alice. Warn you that we're monsters. You're… you deserve the courtesy. Bella, we're manipulating you. Given what we are, I don't think we can help it. Just… I want you to see through us? I don't want you to think we're taking advantage of you. What good am I if I can't at least protect you from myself?"

I hit him on the shoulder with my purse, hard enough to jostle him but with no real malice to it, "Damn it Jazz, you really are an idiot. I know you're both too good for me. I get it, I'm completely at your mercy here and this whole thing is super unbalanced. You're both probably using weird mind powers on me and I'm a babe in the woods. There, that's the ugly truth and it's making you uncomfortable. But fuck, I don't care. I just want to have a nice time today and pretend we're all great friends and shit."

For some reason he smiled and stood up straighter again after me giving him a hard time. I guess it reassured him somehow that things weren't that bad. Maybe it was how casual I was acting around him. I'm sure it's not something he's used to from strangers.

Alice came out of nowhere from behind me, "Hmm, so, your appeal… Bella is very pretty and very nice. She's smart and brave and she smells so good."

She actually rubbed her cheek against mine, cold flesh sliding against my own. Her words were almost a purr.

"How long have you been there," I asked quietly.

"Long enough. You two weren't exactly being discreet. Do you believe in fate, Bella? Because, sometimes I toy around with the notion," her words were rapid-fire, totally unconcerned about the two of us being complete morons in front of her.

I breathed in Alice and calmed down, somehow my fingers found hers again, "I got my palm read once and learned that I was fated to pay thirty five dollars at the end of it. Does that count?"

She wrinkled her nose but otherwise didn't acknowledge my sass, "Well, about fate. So, even if there is another girl out there who is fun and not scared of us and who has a complementary talent, she's somewhere else in the world and you're here. Isn't that good enough? Not everything has to have a big reason, sometimes things just are. We met, I like you, and that's how things are. Some other hypothetical girl out there doesn't have any of that and couldn't step into your place."

I glanced over at Jasper, seized by a sudden odd urge to finally go grab him by his dumb fucking suspenders. I almost did without thinking, but I couldn't quite work out in my head what to do to follow that up and if I did it we'd just end up standing awkwardly face to face with nowhere to go. Alice gave me a very strange look. Trying to be nonchalant I asked him, "So, what about you?"

"I think I promised I'd say something nice too," he took a big white winter coat from Alice's grasp and held it out for me to step into, "so, here it is. Your appeal is that you are too damn stubborn to think of being scared of being vulnerable. Life has given you a lickin' I'd imagine, but you just keep right on going and your smile always reaches your eyes. I certainly can't match you there."

"You really don't know how to do low intensity, do you?" I let him help me into the coat and he tenderly pulled it around my shoulders.

Alice stepped forward and zipped me up with deliberate slowness. Both of her hands ran up my front and in that moment the whole world dimmed down. Newton's Outfitters disappeared into blackness. The clothing racks and shelves near us got gray and hazy. The only things that were crisp and clear to me were the two of them and Alice's hands pressing their way up my torso.

She grinned at me, her elfin features bright with enjoyment, "When he was first courting me he said that he envied my unsulliable innocence. I think what he really meant was that he thought I was super cute and he very much wanted to kiss me. Jazz is a simple man at heart, but he just can't spit it out sometimes, so don't let his demeanor fool you. Now, how do you like it so far?"

"It's perfect, Alice. I really think I might want it."

I should have gone to a mirror or something, but Alice had taken a long time picking this coat, and that meant it was probably everything I could ever want in a coat. I was starting to understand what Jasper meant about it being silly to bet against her. Besides, as long as I didn't move she'd keep touching me, and I could really use it right now. I felt safe and warm, sandwiched between them. The coat was perfect, I didn't even have to look.

The coat wasn't perfect. Or rather, it was too perfect. It was poofy and down stuffed, it was Calvin Klein brand, and it was also two hundred fucking dollars. Alice didn't understand the problem when I told her I couldn't buy it even though I loved it. Then she didn't understand why she couldn't just buy it for me instead. She pulled a crumpled handful of hundreds out of the bottom of her backpack and tried to thrust them in my direction.

I tried to spit something out about being raised poor. About how many hours I'd worked after school for minimum wage cleaning rooms at a shitty hotel back in Phoenix to try and save a little money for college. Something about how deeply uncomfortable I was with the thought of money entering into this relationship in any way. Money coming between us and spoiling something good.

I don't think a word of it got across to her. She was literally from some alien reality where money didn't mean anything special and had nothing to do with things like getting enough to eat or having protection from the elements. She started saying something about Jasper's outfit, about the cost of it in comparison to the coat, when there was a sudden spark of recognition in Jasper's amber eyes. He put his hand over her mouth and muffled her before she could blurt out something that'd make me feel truly shitty. Then he told her he'd explain later and he delicately took the coat off me and apologized for the both of them, all somber and serious like with a barely contained ghost of a smirk at the situation.

She was so upset about letting the coat go, way more than I was to be honest; she kept just saying it was perfect. I felt bad. I might have caved a little and told her she could buy me things after all, as long as they were less than fifteen dollars. I'd wanted to say ten, but I was pushing myself a little. Oh, how quickly I'd come to regret that.

Once that was settled she waved her hand dismissively and said to the both of us, "That was the only winter coat worth seeing here. I didn't realize cost was a factor. The next best one that she'll actually buy is in Port Townsend and after that there's one in Sequim."

I wasn't all that familiar with those cities but I knew they were past Port Angeles, "Eh, what the hell, I'm game! Sorry if this is a dumb question, but can we make a trip like that in time?"

Alice showed me all her pearly whites and I was struck by what an awful lot of teeth she had, "The good news is there's a Goodwill in Port Townsend and that's where we're going. It's only an hour away so we can make it easily. The bad news is you aren't going to be happy with my driving and Jasper will have to hold your hand."

Something about her expression made me want to look for an emergency exit, but instead I let myself be marched up to the front so I could pay for the lovely little crimson rain jacket.

We called Jake from the car and put him on speaker phone. A retelling of my triumphant jump-scare victory over Jasper was quickly overshadowed by car talk between Jacob and Alice about what she was driving. I'd thought the car was like rental-car quality nice, stylish but nondescript, but I hadn't really paid attention. Everything about it was extra smooth and modern looking, sure, but from the interior of it I wouldn't have guessed it a car worth getting excited over.

Apparently it was something called an Aston Martin Vanquish that they'd borrowed from Edward because he was out of town. Apparently it was hot shit according to Jake. Alice did her best to field his exuberant questions, only occasional deferring to Rose, who wasn't here, as the one who would know.

Jasper had opted to sit with me in the back seat, which was a curious choice. The section of empty space between us felt momentous. Apparently he was a motorcycle guy and he was as left out of the car talk as I was. I found myself wondering just how far away Port Townsend was. Then, when we hit Fork's city limits, everything crystallized into a moment of horrible realization.

The speedometer crept up to 120mph, Alice laughed at something Jake had said, and Jasper took my hand and asked if I wanted him to keep me calm. We were in a high end vehicle. 120mph and we'd be there in an hour. Well crap.

"Hey Alice," I cut in, "I realize you're insane and everything, but you're not actually going to drive this fast the whole way, right? Because, I can't decide which is worse, dying in a fiery wreck or getting pulled over by someone that Charlie knows."

"Relax," she said, clearly thrilled to be cutting loose on the highway, "I'm not going to get pulled over. I've got cop-sense!"

Jasper leaned in as if to comfort me and said under his breath, "Just so you know, she wrapped her Dodge Viper around a tree last month. That's why why we had to borrow a car today. But don't worry, I'll catch you if we crash. She really is a good driver though."

From the front seat, "I heard that! Bella, for your information I only crashed because I wanted see how fast I could push the Viper and it just so happened that an indecisive old man was crossing the road at the same time. I ended up in a situation where my only options were which tree I was going to crash into. Even I can't pull a miracle out of my butt at two hundred miles an hour but at least I didn't hit him! Compared to that, this is nothing! We're practically crawling along!"

From Jake, "You walked away from a crash like that? That's hardcore. Jesus, you all are some hardy goddamn abominations."

Jasper had a shit eating grin, "That's what my mama always told me and my brothers, but that was a long time ago. Still, dealing with the dumb cattle here in Forks aint so different than it was back then."

I tried to sink into the leather seating and let this whole thing pass over me like a nightmare.

"Those dumb ho'kwats are my friends, well some of them. So, bring it Bela Lugosi!" Jake yelled over the speaker, sounding delighted "You two are so on!"

I wanted to cheer for Jake but we were barreling down twisty ravines cut between solid walls of forest on either side. A single deer in the road could total our car at these speeds. Had it rained today? Were the roads slick? I couldn't remember. My mouth felt bone dry.

Alice's competitive streak was showing, "Good, if I get pulled over I'll let you drive any car we own that Rosalie won't kill me for borrowing, but if we get there without incident I get to buy Bella a 'welcome to Forks' gift!"

"Deal," I croaked on Jake's behalf, happy to give her the incentive to get us there alive.

"How you holding up, Bells?" Jake's voice reached me, a hint of real concern behind his jovial demeanor.

"Never better. I've never puked inside a luxury vehicle before, so I'm looking forward to that. You should be here Jake. I don't think I've ever gone on a road trip for flimsier reasons and that sort of thing feels like it'd be up your alley."

Alice glanced back at me with concern and I wanted to seriously yell and scream at her to keep her eyes forward. I tried to think back to driver's ed. At these speeds, even with perfect reaction time and top of the line breaks, our stopping distance was probably about two football fields. I don't care what kind of supernatural tricks she had up her sleeve, physics is still an unrelenting bitch and it would kill us with a cold twist of its numbers.

Alice's tone was more subdued as she returned her attention to the road, "Hey, we'll call you again in about an hour Jacob. Bella looks kind of stressed. I think she could use some soothing music and a chance to relax right now."

Mercifully, we said our goodbyes. Once the call had ended I turned to Jasper, "Do you actually need that seat belt you're wearing right now?" Alice hadn't bothered with hers again.

He shook his head softly, still waiting on a go-ahead from me.

"Good, then get over here and put me in my happy place or something. I guess once again I didn't ask enough questions before agreeing to this, but that's on me."

"How do you want me?" he asked, actually being attentive. I was ready and prepared for him to start talking mad shit again since that seemed to be his style when he wasn't being all quiet and withdrawn, but for now he was just acting helpful and considerate. It was disarming and I though again of how easy it would be to get taken in by his honest face. You could easily mistake him for a decent person. Good thing he didn't try that with me.

I pulled him close to me when he unbuckled and forced him scoot over and put his arm around my shoulder. It took an attempt or two to get comfortable, since the car had awkward bucket seats. I just about ended up sitting in his lap when everything was said and done, but as I explained it, it was going to be impossible for him to keep me relaxed for a whole hour if he was sitting there stiff as a board instead of relaxing with me too.

Alice plugged an iPod into the dash and "I Wanna Be Sedated" boomed out of the speakers. Jasper eased the zipper open a little and slipped his hand down the neck of my hoodie to my collar bone so we'd have skin to skin contact beneath my tank top. Suddenly I was fine. I was better than fine. I was blissed out, like that feeling after getting a good shoulder rub by a friend, where you just lay there in relief and think about how getting up or going to sleep are both equally delightful ideas. It was like that, but I was totally awake and aware. I felt a steady anxious pressure that had been growing all day lift off of my shoulders and trickle down my spine. Jasper felt sooo good next to me.

I glanced over to him and I'm sure I had some kind of dopey look of happiness on my face. He did his best to stay impassive and coolly face forward, but his eyes flicked towards me more than once and that made me very happy.

None of us were in the mood to talk much, I was too relaxed, while Jasper and Alice were both concentrating wholly on their tasks. Alice told me a little about each song as it came on, her voice easy and casual as she introduced me to her aesthetic, but otherwise she was very focused. I got to hear a few Misfits songs and Alice really got into "Hunting Humans," to the point that she kept time on the steering wheel, while I liked "Where Eagles Dare" more.

Jasper was more into The Aquabats when they came on. I could feel his fingers twitching along my collar in time to "Martian Girl!" and all I could do was instinctively cuddle into him. He smelled like an autumn night, and if I moved a little I could shift his hand so it went deeper. There was a little drip drop of lust behind the relaxation and I seized onto the feeling. I fed off of it.

I could feel a soft twinge of guilt as he started rubbing tiny circles into my chest above my left breast. I was too content for the guilt to be mine. The muscle there was tight, so it felt great. The next song was "Seneca Falls" by someone… I was starting to lose track of what Alice was saying. I just wanted more. I wanted her to put on something sexy with some heavy bass. I wanted Jazz to get over himself and make me feel good already.

I didn't hear the title of the next one, probably something like "Dig Me In" based on the chorus. All that mattered is I felt the smooth steady circles start to dip under the edge of my bra. We were feeding off each other now. His face was still impassive when I risked a glance over. Had he always been so fucking handsome?

"Got a safeword now," I muttered

What was that? Oh shit, I'd had a whole thing I wanted to say. There's no way he'd understand what I meant. Oh well. Didn't care.

His hand froze in its gentle intrusion. My bra felt desperately too tight. The heat was too high. I wanted to get out of my clothes but that wouldn't be polite.

"I gave Bella a safeword," Alice saved from a very long distance away, "it's cygne. Isn't that cute!"

"Yeah, that's great. Why are you telling me," he growled. He was starting to lose his focus on his power. I could feel his surprise, his guilt tipping over into shame. Motion and distance were starting to come back. So were words.

"It's good. It's so that you know when I want you to stop," I said almost into his ear, "and when it's safe to keep going." I could hear how breathy my voice was, the odd lazy intonation. Should I feel weird about this? I didn't owe Alice anything, she and I weren't going out, so this was ok? Was I forgetting something? I couldn't get my head clear. I just wanted him to stop being a tease and go for the nipple already.

"Fine," he sighed, his voice dripping with cold resignation. Yearning. Heat. Under the surface I could feel his restrain snapping. He was transmitting everything without filter now. If he was losing it, was he transmitting to Alice too?

He let go of the mental hold he had over me as he roughly pinched my nipple. I was hit with a moment of beautiful cold clarity. Suddenly I was drenched in lust, rocketing through the lengthening light of the evening at insane speeds, and I felt totally alive. A cold chill seized my breast and I loved it.

He flicked me and then rubbed the hurt away. I moaned into his shoulder, keeping quiet, still pretending for some reason. Alice hit something new on the iPod without introducing it and, to my surprise, Jasper started serenading me.

"I was at the supermarket / Watching people cut in line / I started thinking about human nature / What would you do if there was no more food?"

His voice was perfect, deep and rich, and if flooded me with its somber absolution. The song was practically made for him, with its hazy meandering tempo. I just focused on the feeling of it, the barely restrained force as he pushed my bra out of place and grabbed my whole breast in his hand. I wondered what Alice was doing in the font seat. I heard a soft whimper from her. Please let her still be watching the road!

He found his rhythm as he teased me, soft and fierce, focused intensity that wasn't going to let me escape from the cage of his embrace. One hand on my tit, the other running up over my thigh through my skirt. It hurt and then it felt good and then he'd squeeze again and it'd be to much. Every movement pushed me further, wound me tighter until I couldn't breathe. I gave up staring out the windshield and looked him dead in the eyes. The black pits of his eyes were burning for me.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered. He kept singing right to me and I nearly came when he hit the chorus.

"I was at the supermarket / Watching people cut in line / I started thinking about human nature / What would you do if there was no more food? "

He found his rhythm as he teased me, soft and fierce, focused intensity that wasn't going to let me escape from the cage of his embrace. One hand on my tit, the other running up over my thigh through my skirt. It hurt and then it felt good and then he'd squeeze again and it'd be too much. Every movement pushed me further, wound me tighter until I couldn't breathe. I gave up staring out the windshield and looked him dead in the eyes. The black pits of his eyes were burning for me.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered. He kept singing right to me and I nearly came when he hit the chorus.

"Chemical bomb, chemical bomb / Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead / It won't be long, it won't be long / People gonna run around losing their heads / A river of blood, who's gonna live? "

I think Alice pulled over at some point; the kinetic thud of an emergency drift to the side of the road and then the low rumble of the engine, Jasper's voice, and the soft moans of two girls intertwining together in the space between.

The second time he got to the chorus I really did cum I think. He twisted the nipple and his fingers dug into my thigh and that was it. It was this warm gasping sensation starting in my chest that spread through my whole body, pulsing so fast I couldn't breathe except in shallow moans. It was more drawn out, more diffuse than what I was used to thinking of as an orgasm, but I was so high on the pleasure it couldn't have been anything else.

I pulled his stupid fucking suspender strap out of the way and bit him hard on the shoulder, feeling the fabric rip on his goddamn shitty expensive shirt. I had to do it, otherwise I was going to yell out and I didn't want Alice to hear that. She couldn't know about this.

In the front seat she was cooing, "Yes, yes yes. Come on, cum for me Bella, please!" The frame was creaking as she twisted in the seat and tried urgently to find the right position.

I don't know why, but in that moment, just after the crest, I wanted so badly to touch her. I needed to be touching her. I reached forward and grabbed a fistful of her hair, a handful of spikes just barely long enough for me to get my fingers through. I pulled as hard as I could, not worried about damaging her.

"I'm here, ok. I'm right here. So do it. Ok, just do it. Please, Alice. Please, right now."

I was rewarded with a long drawn out cry of pleasure. It was small and cute and maddeningly sexy, just like her. I now knew something I'd never guessed that I wanted to know, the sound of Alice Cullent's orgasm. She flopped a bare leg across the console and accidentally kicked the iPod cord out of alignment. I saw her bunched up dress spilling out slightly over the side of the driver's seat.

I let go of her hair and she looked back to grin at me. There was something conspiratorial to her smile. Jasper gave my breast a squeeze beneath the hoodie and I realized what she was seeing. I did my best to smile back as I stared into the starless void of her pretty little eyes. I don't know why, but I was so relieved that she'd been here for me through this.

On his own, acapella, Jasper sang the lines, "The Earth is tired of human kind / And I think this world / Is gonna wash up in Hell," and then he let the song die.

We rode the rest of the way in relative silence. Alice turned the music back on, but she didn't attempt to tell me what was playing. Jasper sat there about as stiff as he'd been when we'd started, except with the caveat that he was also literally sporting an erection now that was pressing into my hip through his thin slacks. At least he didn't pull away and he kept his arm around me.

He put me under again, relaxing me totally, when Alice pulled away from the shoulder, and I didn't try to fight it. There was a nervous anxiety beneath the sensation now that he couldn't filter out, presumably from the thoughts buzzing around in his head. I didn't even know where to start to untangle this all.

He'd set my bra straight afterward and his hand was resting on the outside of my hoodie instead. He was more or less still touching my breast just because of the position and he didn't shy away from it, but the sexual element had drained away. What had changed was that my right hand was in his free hand as I sat nearly on top of him. He cupped my fingers in his, the closest he'd come to being sweet with me, and it felt like a cold spot of hope that everything might still be alright.

Author's Note: ...aaaaand we're back!

I discovered Killing Stalking last week and I loved it. It's refreshing to see someone else working with characters who are sympathetic yet terrible people in a horror/romance story, though I'll hasten to add that my story is very interested in mutual consent while Killing Stalking shares no such moral sentiment. It's worth checking out, so long as you have the disposition for it.

I'll also add that the language used in the greeting is Mapudungun. I don't tend to do translation notes, but this is a little outside of Google Translate's capabilities. In particular, "mari mari" means "hello," "futa" means "husband," "kure" means "wife," and "lamnien" means "brother or sister." Additionally, the word Jake uses, "ho'kwats," is a Quileute term for white people and literally translates as "white drifting-house people."