Apologies for taking so damn long to write this sad excuse of a chapter. I'm not looking back, this chapter has never happened, we'll just continue to the good stuff in chapter 10 and we'll wrap it up. Yep, best course of action.

Thank you all for sticking with me (:

Chapter 9. Eyes fluttering closed

She was gone the next morning.

The sunlight seeping through the windows woke him up. He sighed content, stretched languidly, and then turned around. The moment his hand hit the empty spot beside him, his eyes shot open. The bed was still warm and he groaned, shot out of bed immediately. His legs were tangled in the sheets and he stumbled, struggled for a bit, but managed to free himself before falling to the floor.

'Eleanor,' he called out.

Scrambled for the front door.

But she was gone, truly gone, and he should've known better.

After all, she had said it meant nothing.

It was a little after two in the afternoon when Robbie knocked on her bedroom door. She was lying face down in her bed, still in the same clothes from the night before. She had thrown her phone into a corner, because Jasper had been calling her, had started texting her, probably the moment he had discovered her gone, and she didn't want to talk to him. Didn't want to listen to his pathetic excuses. She could already imagine how that would go.

I'm sorry, Eleanor.

I was drunk.

We shouldn't have done this.

I didn't want to hurt you.

And whatever other bollocks he'd come up with. She knew she'd done this to herself – and for fuck's sake, why couldn't she think with her brain instead of her fanny whenever Jasper Frost was concerned – but that didn't mean she had to like it. Everybody knew she was a bloody fool.

'What?' she snapped when Robbie knocked again, insistently.

'Open up, Len!' he called through the door and she rolled her eyes.

'One second,' she called back. And she made him wait at least five minutes, because she had to fix her make-up first – not because she had been crying, absolutely not, she wouldn't give Jasper Frost nor her brother the pleasure, but maybe she had – and change into something more comfortable than sticky shorts and a barely there top.

He waited patiently, stood leaning against the doorframe, posture relaxed, when she eventually unlocked her bedroom door to let him in.

'Took you long enough,' he said, stepping past her into her room. If he saw the slight tear streaks still lingering on her cheeks, he ignored them and she wasn't about to draw attention to them.

'You were home late this morning,' he said once he sat down on her chaise, one eyebrow raised pointedly.

She scoffed, mimicked his expression. He had already given her an entirely too knowing look – coupled with an infuriating smirk - when she had snuck back into the palace again slightly after sunrise. There was no need to talk about it now.

Yes, she had slept with Jasper again. And yes, she knew she was an idiot. Conversation over. She'd just wallow in her own misery and pretend to be over him. And for fuck's sake, she hoped that in another ten months her twin wouldn't again invite him to their birthday party, because that might as well become a repeat of this year's hellhole. She was only able to pretend up to a certain point. And that point was much easier avoided when he wasn't around.

But then she remembered and she groaned. Robert had offered him a fucking job.

Robbie's expression morphed from smug to confused, as he took in her defensive and resigned stance.

'Lenny,' he said. 'Something's wrong?'

Something's wrong?' she cried out. 'Something's bloody wrong?'

And she grabbed the object nearest her, a glass decanter, and threw at him. Screamed.

'Everything's fucking wrong, you bloody moron,' she yelled. Her hand found one of the crystal glasses on her table and she threw this as well. It missed Robbie's head by mere inches and he cursed.

'For fuck's sake, Eleanor,' he exclaimed, but she was on a roll now, sending everything, anything, she could get her hands on his way. Most of it missed, but the fern grazed his ear and he barely dodged the stool she hurled at him.

'Calm the fuck down, Len,' he grunted, making a pass at her, grabbing her arms before she could get her hands on another object.

'I hate you, Robert,' she hissed, kicking at him. 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!'

She seemed sober, so it wasn't the drugs and she couldn't still be drunk from last night. Robert frowned, shook her, his hands tightly wrapped around her upper arms.

'Calm down,' he repeated. 'What is going on with you?'

And all power seemed to leave her as she slumped down, her face buried in his chest. He sank to the floor with her, his arms still around her, his fingers hooking together behind her back. This was his baby sister and even though she had almost murdered him by stool, he couldn't even be mad at her. Not when she was obviously not okay. He would've thought Jasper sticking his John Thomas up her chuff, would've made Eleanor feel instantly better, but apparently he had been sorely mistaken.

'What's up, Len?' he asked softly and she whimpered into his shirt. Sniffed softly.

'I slept with him,' she started and he almost had to laugh, because that much he had deduced. He wasn't entirely too sure he had forgiven Jasper for past transgressions, but Liam had ensured him that the man was good people and yeah, if there was one thing Robbie was certain about, Jasper being head over heels in love with his sister, was it.

Did she think he'd be mad at her, for sleeping with him?

'I fucking slept with him,' she repeated. He ran a hand through her hair, nodded, his cheek against hers and hugged her closer.

'And he was drunk,' she said. 'So drunk. And I still slept with him.'

And he understood.

'Are you afraid he'll have forgotten, come morning?' he asked.

But she snorted, shook her head.

'I'm afraid he'll remember,' she said softly. And the wheels started spinning in Robbie's head.

Eleanor sighed defeated. She started wiggling out of her brother's embrace, sliding away from him to rest her back against the sofa. Her hands were flat on the carpet.

'You spoke to him, Rob,' she said. 'You know what I mean.'

Stretched her arm to grab the pack of fags from the table. Lit one and took a long, deep drag.

'He didn't even have to blackmail me for it this time,' she said and she sounded repulsed at her own actions.

'I just willingly gave it all to Jasper, the grifter from Las Vegas, who came here to rob me blind and stole with my heart instead.'

Robbie stared at her, quietly, and it only took her half a second to realize his silence wasn't right.

'What?' she snapped, but Robbie only shook his head. Bend a knee and rested his cheek on it, turning his head so he could properly look at her. See the dark bags beneath her eyes and the wild state of her hair.

'Have you even slept?' he asked. 'Properly?'

'What?' she replied scathingly. 'In between letting him fuck me against his front door, fleeing his house and entertaining you, you mean?'

He raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed, let her head fall back against his shoulder as she scooted closer again.

'What's wrong with me, Rob?' she said softly, her voice hardly above a whisper.

And it made Robert's heart clench. Little sister and all that crap. He had vowed not to fight her battles for her, but he still wanted to see her happy. She seemed far from it and for some reason he felt faintly guilty.

'I thought it was a trade,' Robbie said carefully.

She scoffed.

'My heart for his apathy?' she asked.

'He's anything but apathetic towards you, Len,' Robbie said. 'You know this. The least you can do is admit that to yourself. How else can I help you?'

'I know nothing,' she hissed. 'And neither do you.

'Jasper Frost is a con man who conned me out of my heart and is never going to give it back. He's a liar who made me believe he had feelings for me, while all he wanted was the Koh-I-Noor. He's a fool that I cannot seem to forget or get over for that matter and you offering him a fucking job is not helping me.'

'You know he pretended to have a girlfriend,' she said, 'when he came to my birthday party. Because that's how much he likes to fuck with my head.'

'Yet you still fucked him on the balcony,' Robbie shot back and Eleanor offered a subdued 'almost'. 'Even with a girlfriend he still fucked you on the balcony.'

But Eleanor shook her head. She was loath to admit it, but she had been willing to go there. He hadn't.

'Besides,' Robbie continued. 'Poppy is not his girlfriend. So what is the problem?'

'The problem is that he doesn't fucking care,' she shouted and her chest was heaving with unspilled emotion and embittered frustration.

He bloody didn't care.

Jasper Frost did not give a fuck.

She knew it well enough and it was killing her.

'And I care too much.'

Robbie almost didn't hear her.

Silence fell between them and it stretched out for far too long.

'He does, though,' Robbie murmured eventually. 'He does care. An awful lot more than you seem to give him credit for.'

'He does not,' she snapped. 'He would've never fucked the Queen, your mother, my bloody mother, if he did. Wouldn't have tried to rob me. Would've protected me from Mandy. Or Samantha. Whatever the fuck her name was.'

And maybe she was shouting now or maybe she had been all along.

'If he cared, he wouldn't have left me,' she spat. 'He should have stayed. Would have stayed. Had he cared.'

She knew she had asked him to leave, not once, not twice, but multiple times and he had never done so. That he chose to follow her command, right when she needed him the most, had just showed her which she had always suspected.

'Jasper Frost does not care about me nor you or anyone of us for that matter,' she told Robbie softly. 'He only cares about himself. The sooner you realise that, the better.'

'Why the bloody hell did you even offer him a job?' she groaned. 'Do you want him to rob us? Or are you so invested in Mum's sex life?'

He flicked her against the ear and she bristled. He didn't let her get up, though, had a strong arm around her shoulders. Instead, he cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. She did so reluctantly, avoiding his eyes.

'Look at me,' he urged her.

She scrunched up her nose, persistently kept her gaze focused on the door. Her eyes were glassy and with his thumb wiped away a tears, threatening to escape. She was so stubborn, his sister, hard-headed as a pig and equally as ignorant at times. Especially when Jasper Frost was concerned.

When she eventually looked at him, met his eyes unflinchingly, he smiled at her.

'I did it for you,' he told her. 'Offered him a job because of you.'

'Your heart for his,' he said. 'Because yours is not the only one lost.'

'I might not know him all that well. Not yet anyway. And he did royally screw us all over. Not just you. But I like the man. And I wouldn't have hired him as my bodyguard, if I hadn't been absolutely certain that that man is one hundred percent, desperately and self-denyingly in love with you.'

'I thought you knew this.'

He really did. Robert had never expected his sister, of all people, to be this dense.

'I thought that was why you brought me and Liam with, when you went to meet him at Cartizze.'

Because that would've made perfect sense. And it was such an Eleanor-thing to do.

'I thought you wanted to punish him first, for what he had done to you, before you took him back.'

'I thought you knew, Len.'

Took a deep breath, but continued unforgivingly.

'You should've known, Len, if you claim to care about him.'

She stared at him, the only sound between them her breathing. Her chest rose and fell – up, down, up. One silent sob and three deep breaths.

'I don't know, Robert. I know nothing. And so do you.'

Another deep drag from her cigarette.

'Now get the fuck out of my room.'

Her tone brokered no argument, not that Robbie would offer one anyway.

She did her best to avoid him, the days that followed, but despite the Palace being large, it seemed too small for the two of them. He seemed to be there, every corner she rounded. And blatantly turning on her heels whenever she spotted him and walking the other way was becoming ridiculous. But she couldn't deal with the look in his eyes, the pity and worry whenever he looked at her. And she didn't want to admit, admit to herself that there was truth to what Robbie had told her.

It was easier to just ignore.

Until one morning, he was just there.

And she should have been better prepared, because Robbie had offered him a job as his bodyguard. Eleanor just hadn't expected it to be this soon. Not before she had figured out this whole situation. On her own.

But here he was, standing in the dining room, looking for all purposes like he hadn't ever left and simply belonged there. Speaking freely with her twin and eldest brother, while Helena watched them sharply from the side, Rachel next to her. Eleanor prided herself for not hesitating when she saw him. Even though her heart skipped a beat and she was certain she must've paled.

They had obviously been waiting for her, as Marcus and Jasper retreated to the sides of the room, her own bodyguard joining them. She spared all three of them no glance as she sat down.

'Good of you to join us, daughter,' Helena said prickly, a sharp eyebrow raised.

Eleanor rolled her eyes at her and shrugged.

'Let's just eat,' she said.

She'd liked to say that dinner was an entirely uneventful affair, but as Liam and Helena did most of the talking – completely uninteresting shit about the coronation Eleanor was completely indifferent to – Robbie kept giving her looks – or rather kept looking knowingly in her general direction but definitely not at her – and with every bite she took she could feel his eyes practically burning holes in the back of her head.

'Oh, for fuck's sake,' she snapped halfway through the main course, dropping her cutlery on her plate. 'What?!'

Robert adopted a look of innocence and Liam feigned ignorance, but her mother was not as kind.

'Robert is making googly eyes at your bodyguard, dear,' she said, without looking up from her plate. 'Not Baker, mind you, but the other one. You know, the one you have feelings for.'

'You mean the one you used to fuck?' Eleanor barked and she had no idea where the venom in her voice was coming from, but first Robert and now her mother?

'Len,' Liam cried out, just as Robert made to berate her, but she flattened her hands on the table with force.

'No,' she said. 'Stop. Just-'

She grabbed a bottle of wine from the table. A sense of déjà vu crept over her – Liam, Poppy, Jasper – but she pushed the feeling away.

Feelings. She most certainly did not have feelings for the bodyguard.

Except he was so much more than just the bodyguard.

'I apologise, Mother,' she said and the words didn't sound half as insincere as they felt. 'I shouldn't have said that. May I be excused?'

She did not wait for her mother to answer, just pushed back her chair and was out of the room before any had a chance to respond. She heard it though, as she rushed through the doors. Heard it loud and clear.

'Eleanor. Wait.'

Helena had an eyebrow raised as she bolted from the room, her brother's bodyguard quick on her heels, but Robbie almost smirked and Liam didn't even bother to hide his grin.

Fucking traitors.

'Eleanor,' he called after her. But she didn't turn around, just took the fastest route she knew back to her room. And of course he would follow, because that was just what the stupid prick did, follow her around and bloody not leave her alone, and for fuck's sake.

'Eleanor!' Again.

And this time she slowed down, did not wait, just slowed down, until he caught up with her, and then she picked up her pace again. He could easily keep up with her now, made sure to stay a couple of steps behind her, but he knew she wanted him to follow her, even though she wasn't completely aware herself.

Or maybe she was.

She pushed the doors to her bedroom open, awfully slow, and waited for him to walk inside before she slammed them shut again. Locked them.

He stood in the centre of her room, his back towards her, but when he started to turn, she stopped him.

'Sit down, Jasper,' she ordered tersely.

She was surprised when he actually did what she said. Fucking bag of surprises. He sat his bloody fine ass down on her bed, on his side of the bed. And they both bloody well knew it. She took her stance near the window and the open panes offered her a quick escape.

She wasn't above climbing down the walls, swinging from plant to plant like a modern day Tarzan, if what whatever she was about to do blew up in her face.

Or throw him out, face first.

He was gorgeous, really gorgeous. Everything a girl could dream of. But she wasn't just a girl. She was a princess. The princess. And he didn't care. It was time she got it through her thick skull. He didn't care. She just needed to hear him say it.

Just once.

Pull the band aid off, open up that wound again, because he did not care and once she made him say it, she could start to heal. End of story.

Pushing him out of the window was just an added bonus.

'Just once, Jasper. Tell me everything. Just tell me the truth. For once.'

His stare was so intense it made the tiny hairs on her arms stand up, made the back of her neck tingle. The fall and rise of his chest was almost as irate as hers was, his back still straight and his stance proud.

Defiant almost.

When did he even stand up again?

But his eyes.

Somehow she knew, just knew, that maybe this time he wouldn't lie. Would finally tell her the truth. And it scared her how much she'd been aching it. Frightened her how anxious she was as she watched him take a breath, a deep one. Preparing to speak.

Then another breath, slower than the first, deeper even.

'I love you.'

For fuck's sake.

It wasn't what she had meant, hadn't been expecting those three damned words, but this was bloody Jasper Frost. She had asked for truth and tell-all, and this was the reality he chose to give her.

He always knew what she wanted. No, what she needed. So yeah, it may not have been what she had meant nor wanted, but for fuck's sake, she needed to hear it.

'I love you,' he repeated, and there was nothing hesitant nor careful about it. He stated it as a fact, simple and true, and she so bloody badly wanted to believe him.

He stepped closer and she let him. Hadn't the strength nor the will to stop him.

She was tired.

Tired.

He rested his hands on her arms, rubbing circles with his thumb gently.

'I love you.'

And she felt herself leaning towards him, felt one of his hands running up her arm, the other dropping slowly to her hip. He placed one on the back of her neck, pulling her closer still and there was a stiffness to her body as he traced her spine with a finger, a hardness that he had created but she had kept it firmly in place these past months.

'I love you. And I'm not leaving. Not ever again.'

She loved him. This she had known for a while now. She had even tasted the words in her mouth, knew the bittersweet tang they left on her tongue. She loved him.

'I'll always be here,' he whispered. 'Because I love you. Only you. Always you.'

With his arms wrapped around her tightly, lost in his warmth and his body shivering against her rigid one, perhaps she could start to entertain the fact that maybe – just maybe, just a little bit – he loved her too.

And she relaxed against him, her eyes fluttering closed.