AN: Hey there guys. Happy valentines day! It's nearly 8 PM here and no one has texted me yet confessing their secret and undying love for me... shame :/
So, 10th chapter! this is the longest story I think i've ever written, so thank you guys for reading it! It's a rather emotional chapter, it was definitely emotional for me to write as someone who has personally suffered with self harm. that leads me to a bit of a warning: this chapter contains mentions of self-harm. It does not explicity talk about the act of self-harm, but their is mention of scars etc. If you think this will trigger you please please please just skip over that part off the story. I would hate anything bad to happen to anyone because of something mentioned in this story

So yeah, don't worry, it's not bad emotional as such, just a lot of new things come to the surface here.

Disclaimer: As of yet, I don't own any of these characters... however i have asked for Riker Lynch for my birthday so... Fingers crossed! ;]

The two boys returned to their apartment later after picking up some last minute things whilst shopping. Both of them were too excited to even think about making dinner, so they sat eating cookies, watching Love Actually.

"Angel?" Nick whispered, firmly tucked into Jeff's side, "Seeing as you gave me part of my present early, can I give you part of yours?"
The blonde grinned and nodded excitedly, loosening his grip on Nick so he could retrieve the gift. He came back to the couch holding an envelope similar to the one Jeff had presented him with earlier.
"I hope you like it. I mean, it can't be used yet but… yeah, just open it"
Jeff let go of Nick's hands to open the envelope and pulled out a rectangular object. He was silent for a long while.
"Jeff…?" Nick asked
"Is… are you…Nick is this for real?"
"One hundred per cent Angel"
"Are you… are you seriously taking me to Paris?" Jeff asked, eyes wide.
"Yeah," Nick blushed, "And look at the date. We fly on February 13th"
"We're going to Paris for Valentine's Day?!" Nick bit his lip and nodded, still unsure of Jeff's reaction.

His doubts disappeared as the blonde threw himself at him, burying his face into Nick's shoulder. Nick wrapped his arms tightly around Jeff, kissing him lightly behind the ear before he felt his boyfriend's shoulders start to shake. Nick loosened his hands and moved Jeff so he could look at him. Tears were streaming down the blondes face, his whole body shaking.
"Hey, hey Angel, what's wrong? Please don't cry gorgeous, what's wrong?" Nick's face softened as he cupped Jeff's cheek, concern in his eyes.
"It's just… It's just, I can't believe," Jeff stumbled out between shaky breaths. He paused for a moment, collecting himself before he started again.
"Nick, there were three openly gay kids at McKinley: Me, Kurt and eventually Blaine. I spent my high school years watching those two so happy. They went to prom together. We all went to NYU and I watched them dorm together. We graduated and I watched them get engaged. I saw everything I'd ever wanted happen to my two best friends. I was always watching from the outside, having no one to shelter me from the bully's harsh words or the loneliness that set in. Through my whole life I've always thought I was destined to be alone, watching my dreams play out before me like some movie, but for someone else. And now you, you've come here and you've turned me upside down. You've made me live again Nicky. You've stood there and shown me that maybe that life can be mine. Maybe I won't be alone… Nick I love you so much, sometimes I can't even breathe. You're everything I ever hoped for and it's just so much to take in. I love you. I love you so much" Jeff whispered at the end, a warm smile on his face and fresh tears in his eyes. By this point, Nick was crying too. He laughed through the tears and pressed his forehead against Jeff's.
"I take it that's a yes to Paris?" He whispered, biting his lip.
"Yes, it's a yes to Paris!" Jeff laughed, rolling his eyes and kissing Nick with all the love he felt in him.

An hour or so later, the couple had managed to stop crying, Jeff sticking the tickets onto the fridge door with a heart shaped magnet for safe keeping. The movie had finished, so Jeff had turned the TV to Christmas music channels, playing quietly in the background. The boys had originally been sat side by side on the couch, hands entwined in between them. But the problem was, Jeff looked so cute and yet so hot in his sweatpants and faded t-shirt combo that Nick couldn't help himself. He started just kissing the side of the blonde's neck ever so lightly, feathery touches sending shivers down Jeff's spine, causing him to tilt is head slightly to give Nick more room. The brunette worked his way up to Jeff's ear before breathing raggedly and whispering "I love you", so quietly, it was like a secret for just the two of them. Jeff turned his head and captured Nick's lips, kissing him harder and more passionately than he ever had before. Nick's hand moved up to tangle in the blonde's hair, making Jeff sigh happily and part his lips more. Jeff's hands settled on Nick's hips, bunching up in the shirt he was wearing. Suddenly, Nick shifted so he was hovering over Jeff, straddling the blonde's hips as they continued to kiss heavily. Their lips parted for a while, staring into each other's eyes intensely before Jeff moved his hands down and pulled off his shirt. Nick's eyes widened and his heart rate picked up significantly when he saw his boyfriend's tanned, muscular chest and moved back to kiss him again. He ran his hands down Jeff's sides and for a start thought the slight ridges were just the blonde's ribs. However, when they continued onto Jeff's waist and slightly across his stomach, Nick became confused. He realised he'd never actually seen Jeff without a shirt before, even when he was dancing to Panic at the Disco in his underwear he'd been wearing a tank top. Nick's mind suddenly flashed back to a conversation they'd had-
"I was bullied all through High School and I fell into some dangerous habits."
What had he meant by 'dangerous habits'? Then realisation hit him.

Nick's eyes opened wide and he pulled away from Jeff. The blonde blushed when he saw what Nick was looking at. All down the sides of Jeff's body were raised, white scars, in lines too uniform to be accidental. They stretched round onto his ribcage and abdomen in places. To Nick's relief, they were all old scars, raised and white, no new red marks showing any recent harm.
"I know… they're so ug-"Jeff started, but was silenced when Nick leaned down and began to kiss the scars on his boyfriend's body. He made his way down every scar on one side before lifting his head to move to the rest, "Nick, you don't ha-"Jeff started again, but trailed off at the look Nick gave him. Only after he had pressed his lips tenderly to every last scar did Nick move his lips back to the blonde's. For the second time that night, they both had tears in their eyes.
"They are not ugly." Nick spoke softly, "Angel, they are a part of you. They don't define you. They are just your past, but they are not ugly. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful and you always will be, not matter what. Please don't ever forget that." Nick insisted, hating the idea of Jeff feeling anything but beautiful. Jeff smiled up at Nick through his tears and kissed him again.
"I love you so much, you know that?" The blonde smiled. He boyfriend just pressed a kiss to his cheek before holding him close.
"Do you want to… talk about it?" Nick asked warily. Jeff just gave him a nod and Nick smiled at him reassuringly. For the next hour or so, Jeff sat and told Nick the story of his struggle with self-harm. It broke Nick's heart to think of Jeff ever being anything other than his bubbly self, but he was glad that Jeff felt like he could trust him with something as deep and personal as this. He wanted Jeff to know that this changed nothing about their relationship at all, and it changed nothing about the way that Nick felt for the blonde. He was still perfect in Nick's eyes, and nothing was going to change that.

AN: So there you go guys, hope you enjoyed it, i'll see you again soon!

- Until next time my lovelies x

p.s anyone who reviews this chapter get's a virtual valentine from me... *hint hint*