A/N::: Thanks for the reviews!

"YOU CANT DO THIS, POTTER! YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER CHASER!" Brii yelled at him on the pitch after lunch.

"I CAN do this, and I WILL! What I don't need is you and Sirius fighting all the time! And that's all that's happened today! The two of you can't work together! Not after this morning!" James yelled back at her.

"It's not me that is unable to work! It's him! I can do this! I can play on the same field as him! Kick him off, not me!" Brii pleaded with him.

"I'm not kicking him off the team, he's the best beater I have!" he yelled.

"Dammit, Potter! I'm the best chaser you have! Doesn't that count for anything?" she yelled, pleading with him to keep her on the team.

James ran a hand through his hair, looking up at her panic-stricken face. "Fine. But only because I have no other option. You're off of the team after tomorrow's game though"

"Potter, you can't be serious…" she said slowly.

"I'm dead fucking serious, Riddle. Be glad I'm letting you play tomorrow" James spat at her, leaving her alone on the pitch as he headed to the locker room.

Lily sat by her open window, feeling the cold wind breeze through her hair. A storm was approaching in the distance. She could see the clouds being lit up from the lightning miles away. Her head leaned against the glass panes as she thought about the eventful morning. Her heart ached still.

Upon hearing the booming sound of footsteps, Lily turned towards her door, watching Brii throw open her door.

"HE'S KICKING ME OFF OF THE FUCKING QUIDDITCH TEAM!" she yelled hoarsely.

"I thought you said you knew he would do this" Lily said, scrunching her eyebrows together.

"But…but I didn't think he'd actually do it! Tomorrow's my last game" Brii stated plainly.

"Atleast he's letting you play then" Lily said.

"No he's not exactly just letting me play. He doesn't have a damned choice in the matter. There's no way he'd find another chaser by tomorrow afternoon" Brii told her.

Lily nodded in understanding, "Right."

Brii fell down on the floor beside her, laying down and staring at the ceiling. "Has he spoken to you?" she asked Lily.

Lily picked up a random sheet of paper from beside her, "No. I don't expect him to. I haven't seen him either" she admitted.

Brii swallowed hard, sitting up and glancing at Lily. Thunder sounded in the distance. "Yeah, well, good luck with that one Evans. You're going to need it with the mood he's in right now. See you in the morning?" Brii asked, standing.

"See you" Lily told her quietly as Brii exited the room.

Lily sat the paper down she'd had in her hand, then picked up the pep rally paper. She needed to get this done. Immediately, she stood, grabbing her coat and going down the stairs and into the halls. She didn't know if the prefects would even listen to her, but she had no choice. Remus was the first person she spotted in the halls.

"Lupin! Lupin!" she yelled after him, running to catch up.

Remus turned around, seeing Lily run up to him, "What is it, Evans?" he asked her.

"I was wondering if you would help me, if you have time that is. I need to have a prefect meeting, go over the pep rally stuff tomorrow. I'd really like Alice to do most of the speaking, she's rather peppy, you know. And, I'll do the décor in the morning. I have to go talk to Professor Flitwick about getting the chorus to do a few songs, and…" she started saying quickly.

"Evans, shouldn't you have thought about this before now?" he asked her.

"Well, yes! But I didn't, I thought I would have James to help me out and now…well you know how that's going. I'm sure you think I'm the biggest joke in the school, and I would fully understand if you didn't want to help me" she told him.

He shook his head, "Evans, I don't for the life of me understand why you started the bet, but I think you never meant for him to find out about it. I think you actually learned to care for him, otherwise you wouldn't be as upset as you are about it. But that's just my opinion" he told her, a small smile on his face.

"And I'll help you. I'll try and get the others together. Give me an hour or so. Where do you want us?" he asked.

"Thank you, Lupin! Um, Flitwick's classroom? Since I have to go there anyway" she stated. He nodded, running off in the opposite direction from her. She walked quickly to Flitwick's office, running through her plans in her mind.

He was sitting at his desk reading essays when she walked in. She knocked lightly on the door.

"Oh, Miss Evans! Come in" Flitwick said as he looked up from the papers.

She walked in, standing silently in front of his desk.

"Well, what do you need?" he asked.

"Oh right, well, I'm organizing a pep rally for the quidditch game tomorrow. And I was wondering if you'd like to ask your chorus if they want to do a few uplifting songs for it? Get everyone in the spirit?" she asked nervously.

"I'd be happy to ask them, Miss Evans. Of course" he told her.

"Oh, good. Great. Thank you, Professor" she said quickly, leaving his office and going into his classroom.

She'd brought pieces of parchment with her, laying them out on the desks. She'd made one flyer for the rally, doing a copy spell and dispersing it onto the other pieces of parchment. She made around 200 copies, hoping to give them to the prefects when they came in.

This was going to be interesting.

They filed in one by one. Each one avoiding her eyes until Remus finally came in. He hurried quickly to the front of the room where she was.

"All of them said they would only do it because it sounded fun. They won't listen to you though, they want James" he whispered.

She pressed her lips together, "Well, I don't know where James is! He told me to organize this! He has nothing to do with it! Don't they fucking realize that?" she whispered angrily.

"I tried telling them that. Look, just, just let me talk to them. What are we doing?" he asked her.

She shook her head, "No. No, I'm the damned Head Girl" she said, pushing Remus to the side.

"Look, I know none of you want to listen to anything I have to say, or do anything I want you to do but-" Lily started saying.

"No shit" someone said from the back.

She glared at them, "But…I'm fucking Head Girl. You're going to listen to me. We're having a pep rally tomorrow for the game. You're not doing this for me, you're doing this for the school and for your houses. So, Alice, I would like for you to lead the whole thing because you've got a peppy voice and you know how to get people excited and revved up. Ravenclaws, I'd like for you to handle the face painting and giveaways. Hufflepuffs, you guys are handling the chants, and Slytherins, you're going to be helping with décor" Lily told them.

"What about us?" Remus asked.

"Security" she said plainly.

"Security?" he asked.

"Yes. It's a pep rally, I don't want anything getting out of control or any of the players getting hurt" she told them.

"Who else is speaking? Team captains?" one of the Hufflepuffs asked.

"That's an excellent idea, why don't you ask them?" she told him.

"Why don't you?" the hufflepuff asked.

She glared at him, "Are you immune to gossip or are you deaf? Have you not heard that the captain of Gryffindor's team and I aren't exactly getting on at the moment? Or do you people just like bringing it up?" she said to them.

They stared at her in silence as she glared at them. She picked up some of the flyers on the desk, slamming them down on the desk a Ravenclaw was sitting on.

"Pass these out in the halls. Yell, scream, dance, sing, I don't care what you do to excite people about it. I'll do the damned decorations myself, just get people in there. Get them pumped up" she said quietly to them, turning back towards the desk.

She glanced back around at them, "What are you still doing here? Go!" she said, shooing them out of the room. Quickly, they all gathered their things, taking flyers and going out into the halls, leaving Lily alone in the empty classroom.

She turned to the desk, hunching over it, the palms of her hands holding her up. She felt weak, nauseous, light-headed. This could have been the worst day of her life.

"Am I late-Oh…oh" someone said as they burst into the classroom door. Lily didn't turn around, recognizing the voice immediately.

James ran a hand through his hair as he saw Lily standing at the front of the room, her back to him. "Waiting on another one of your preys, Evans?" he said angrily to her.

She closed her eyes, taking in his insults. She deserved them.

He strode into the room. "You know what I've been wondering, Evans?" he asked her, striding slowly across the classroom. "I've been wondering why exactly you chose me. Me, of all the guys in Hogwarts. You chose me to mock, to make fun of, to humiliate, to use as a damn rag doll! Why me, Evans?" he asked, his voice a little louder than it had been.

He was standing behind her now, staring at the back of her head, When she didn't respond, he grabbed her arm, turning her around to face him. Her face was cold, blank, her eyes seemed lifeless. She looked up at him, her stomach twisting as she looked in his hazel eyes. Her eyes had no tears left in them to produce, she was numb.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

"Because you were the one guy I thought would never give in. Never give me a chance. Never think twice about loving me. I never thought you'd turn out to be the only one I wanted to love" she said quietly.

James pressed his lips together, glaring at her, "Lies" he whispered. He let go of her arm, turning and walking away from her. Lily watched him walk away out of the classroom. She'd never felt so empty in her life.

Grabbing her bag, she left the room, slowly heading up the stairs towards the dorm. She needed to sleep, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Not after today.

Lily didn't sleep the entire night. She sat, in a daze, in front of her window, watching the sun rise in the distance. It was beautiful, but she couldn't fully appreciate it with the mood she was in. She decided to get up, go ahead and take her shower before James woke, hoping she wouldn't have to face him so early in the morning.

Apparently he'd had the same idea.

She turned the handle on the bathroom door, opening the door widely.

"Merlin, fuck, Evans! Don't you knock?" James exclaimed as he stood in front of the toilet naked, peeing.

She shook her head, "I would say I'm sorry, but it's not like I've never seen you naked before" she said, glaring at him as she closed the door a little, waiting on him to finish.

"Yeah, well, maybe you should apologize" he said to her.

"For this or for something else?" she asked from the other side of the bathroom door.

"You know what I mean, Evans. I'm not up for games this morning" he told her.

"Oh right, I forgot. There's only room for one finicky bitch in your life that plays games. You're seeing her this afternoon, aren't you?" she said, her voice expressionless.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked her, shaking his head.

"Oh never mind. Are you almost done?" she asked impatiently.

She heard him flush the toilet and open his own door. She pushed her door open, watching him clothe himself in his room.

She stood there a moment, her arms folded across her chest. "I'm not going to apologize" she said suddenly.

He paused what he was doing. "What?"

"I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I don't regret it" she told him.

He shook his head, "Right. I forgot, you enjoy hurting people" he said.

"I don't regret giving myself the motivation to want to love you. What would have happened if we hadn't made that bet? Do you think you and I would have ever started getting along in the least?" she asked him.

"Sometime. Sometime we would have had to learn to get along" he said to her, trying to convince himself more than her.

"And when would that have been? Now? Christmas? Next year? I never planned on telling you about the bet" she admitted.

"Oh really? Why's that?" he asked.

"Because I'd finally found something in my life that was real! That meant something! Dammit, it scared the fuck out of me! That's why I kept running from you! I didn't want to admit that underneath my scheming, my so-called careful planning, and everything else…that I was beginning to care for you! That I was beginning to want you more than I thought you wanted me!" she said breathlessly to him, pulling at her hair as she stood in the middle of her bathroom.

"So why didn't you just call off the bet?" he asked.

"Because I never give up on a bet. I tried to convince myself it wasn't real, that what I was feeling was hormones, nothing more" she admitted.

"Yeah? How'd that go for you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Fucking terrible, actually" she said, now looking at the floor.

He stood in silence for a moment, looking down at the floor. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at her, "You knew Judy was going to tell us" he said flatly.

"Yes" she whispered.

"You knew this the night before she told us" he said.

"Yes" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"And you knew it would hurt more in the morning if we'd made love that night…and yet, you still did it" he said, anger building up in his body.

"Yes" she said.

"WHY?" he yelled.

"Because I knew I'd never feel what it was like to be loved again. And I was selfish. I'm sorry for hurting you, James, but I don't regret anything I ever said to you…anything we ever did" she told him, looking up at his face.

"I meant everything. It was all real" she whispered.

"No. No, it wasn't. It was all a lie" he told her, slipping on his shirt and walking out of his room. She wanted to run after him, but she didn't have the energy.

After showering, she walked down to the Great Hall, her hood from her sweatshirt pulled high over her head. She sat down at the end of the table, simply staring at her plate.

"Perk up, Evans. Don't you have some kind of rally thing today?" Brii asked as she sat in front of her.

"Why are you so chipper?" Lily asked.

"What makes you think I'm 'chipper'" Brii asked.

"You're asking about my day" Lily said.

"Oh, right. I'll just…I'll just go then" Brii said, getting up from the table and leaving the Great Hall.

Lily stared after her, shaking her head. She sat there in silence, reading her book and waiting on the other students to leave the Great Hall so that she could start decorating for the pep rally.

As soon as all the students were out of the Hall, Lily stood, looking around her at the large room. She took her wand out as she walked to the front of the room. She turned, pointing it at the long tables and moving them to the sides. Using an extending charm, she transformed the long benches and tables into bleechers, giving the Great Hall a 'gym-like' feel.

After transforming the candles into streamers, the banners on one side to red and gold and the banners on the other to green and silver, she stood back, admiring her work.

"Nice job, Evans" someone said from behind her.

She turned to see Remus standing behind her, "Thanks. Could you tell me what time it is?" she asked him.

"Almost twelve. Didn't realize it would take you so long to do this, did you?" he said quirking an eyebrow.

"No. No. I suppose not. The other prefects coming?" she asked him.

"Yeah. Everything's in order, just as you asked" he told her.

She looked at the floor, nodding her head, "Good. Good. Well, I guess you all don't need me then" she said, turning to walk away from him.

"You're not staying?" he asked.

"No. I can't handle being around all of this. Not after yesterday" she said quietly.

"Evans?" he said loudly after her.

She turned once again, "What?"

"You really care for him, don't you?" he asked.

She sighed, "More than I think I realize" she told him silently, glancing up at his face. "I'll see you later, Lupin" she told him quietly, turning again and heading completely out of the doors this time.

Students were all over the halls, in an excited fury over the pep rally. All of them had flyers in their hands, reading them aloud, studying them. The smiles on their faces made Lily want to hurl. Feeling dizzy, she stopped abruptly, holding onto the stair railing tightly. She closed her eyes, trying to regain her balance and composure.

James sat at the pep rally later that day with the marauders. He knew Lily was supposed to be there, organizing the entire thing, but he didn't see her red hair anywhere.

"She's not here, mate" Remus told him, seeing his friend look around the Hall.

"Who?" James asked innocently.

"Evans. Don't pretend with me, mate. I know you're looking for her" Remus said.

James pressed his lips together, cursing his best friend for being so intuitive. "So where is she?" he asked quietly.

"Not sure. Said she couldn't be around all of this" Remus told him.

"Is she going to the game?" James asked.

"Doubt it. Didn't sound like she much wanted to be around people, mate" Remus said, watching the sad expression grow on James's face.

Remus leaned closer to James, not wanting the others to hear, "I know you want to be pissed at her. And you should be. But, I think she really does care about you, mate. Maybe you should talk to her" he said quietly.

"How am I supposed to trust her, Moony? After this…I don't know if I ever can" James told him.

Remus sighed, "I don't have the answers to everything, mate. You'll have to figure out that one yourself. She's changed, you know that. How do you know her old ways didn't change with her?" Remus asked.

"Because she never called off the bet" James said matter-of-factly.

Remus clapped him on the shoulders, "You'll figure it out, Prongs. You just have to…forgive the expression…*a-hem* follow your heart" he told him, batting his lashes at James as Alice walked up to the podium and started her speech.

James smiled, laughing silently at Remus. "You're such a romantic, Moony" he said, shaking his head.

"I try, Prongs" Remus said, puffing his chest out with pride. The two of them laughed together a moment, only to be brought back to reality a moment later by Sirius hitting James's leg below him.

"Oi! Mate! Did you not hear Alice call your name?" Sirius said in a hushed whisper.

"What? What does she want me to do?" James said, looking up and seeing every eye in the room on him, most of the Gryffindors standing up and clapping madly, swinging their flags wildly over their heads.

"James? Want to come up here and give us a speech mate?" Alice said behind the podium.

James swallowed hard, standing up from his seat and making his way down to the podium where she stood. He could hardly hear anything over the yelling, chanting, and clapping of the students as he walked up there. Perhaps this pep rally was a good idea.

He couldn't help smiling as people started chanting 'POTTER! POTTER!' when he reached the podium, his ego growing. However there was something tugging at the back of his stomach when he looked up at the crowd. The person he never thought he would want to be there, by his side, wasn't even in the room. An emptiness filled his chest.

James put on a brave face, smiling at the faces who were counting on him to lead the Gryffindor team to victory that day. He put his hands in the air, waving at them, requesting them to settle down. In an instant, they became quiet.

"Thank you, Alice for that amazing introduction. I think these people are ready for some quidditch, what do you think?" he said into the muggle microphone Lily had set up earlier, looking back at Alice. A cheer sounded from the crowd.

He looked back at the students, "I've never been any good at writing speeches. I sort of wish I'd known I was going to be giving one, if I'm being honest" he added quietly. "But! How I give my speeches has no relevance to my skills on the pitch!" he said quickly. A roar of cheers sounded again.

"And it has no effect on my team's skills on the pitch!" he said loudly. "And! If there's one thing…"

Lily found herself walking slowly down the hall towards the Great Hall, hearing the cheers and clapping going on at the pep rally. She'd had no intention of attending, but she didn't want to stay in her room the whole afternoon. She'd went for a jog, and now, her feet were leading her there on their own.

She approached the open doors, hoping to simply blend into the walls behind the jeering crowd. She leaned against the large door, listening to Alice as she introduced James. She pushed herself further against the door, into the shadows.

Lily watched him happily address the crowd, his ego growing bigger by the minute. She smiled to herself, crossing her arms against her chest as she listened.

"Our team this year is the strongest its ever been!" James said loudly. He hated giving speeches, he thought he always sounded so stupid. "We are lions! We will not be taken!" he said encouragingly, looking around the room.

As he looked to the back of the room, he swore he saw red hair in the shadow of the door. He squinted further, staring, finding a pair of green eyes staring back at him. He swallowed hard, finding himself suddenly nervous.

"Who's ready for the best game of the year? Of your lives? Who's ready to watch the lions rip the heads off of those cowardly snakes? You?" James said, pointing to random people. "You? How about you? Who's with me?" he yelled.

A cheer sounded from the crowd, excited from James's words. Lily shook her head, laughing at him. She thought it was sad that such a sad speech could get this crowd revved up so much.

James looked back to Alice, "Alice, I'll let you take it from here" he said quietly to her. He walked back to the bleechers where the marauders sat.

"I'm going to go on to the pitch. Do some warm-ups. See you guys out there?" James said quietly to them.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, see you mate" he told him. Remus nodded.

Lily turned away from the room after James's speech, feeling she'd had enough of that for one day. She tucked her hands inside her pockets, heading outside towards the lake, hoping the silence would make her feel better. As she sat down beneath the tree, she saw James walk outside also. He seemed to be looking for something as he walked down to the lake, his hands on his hips, looking around in frustration. He picked up a random rock from the water's edge, throwing it across the lake, making it skim the surface.

Lily watched him for a minute or two before getting the courage to say anything.

"Quite a speech you gave" she said loudly.

James jumped at the sound of her voice, dropping the rock he'd been holding straight into the water.

"You think so?" he asked.

"Not really, no. I think it's quite sad they got so excited over such a poor speech" she told him honestly.

"Thanks for the confidence booster, Evans" he said, his lips pressed together in frustration.

She snorted, "I thought you would have gotten enough of a booster in there" she told him, smiling.

"Maybe if I'd been warned I was going to be giving a speech" he said, cocking his head to the side as he looked at her.

"You're the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team. It's a pep rally. You should have known you were" she told him.

"Oh, so it was implied?" he said.

"Yes. It was" she said.

He shook his head, "You're such a bitch, Evans" he told her.

"You knew this already, James" she said sadly.

"Yeah? Maybe I didn't know how much of a bitch you were. That you were so much of one that you got thrills from hurting people" he spat at her.

She stood up then, turning towards him. "I didn't get any thrill from hurting you. It's killing me. James…I….I don't know what else you want from me. Do you realize what you've done for me? How much being with you has changed me? Made me understand who I am?" she asked him beggingly.

"No. No, I don't, Lily. Because I'm not sure you have changed" he said quickly, hearing the students exit the castle from the pep rally.

She glanced quickly at the students and then back to him. "This isn't over."

"It's not?" he asked sarcastically.

"No. You wouldn't have been out here looking for me if it was. You wouldn't be looking at me as you are now if it was. You wouldn't be looking for a way to forgive me. If. It. Was." she added slowly, pointing at him.

"I don't know how I can, Lily. I don't know how I can trust you again" he said quietly.

She almost laughed, "I never thought you trusted me to begin with" she said, narrowing her eyes. The students were approaching them, some watching, some walking down to the pitch. Either way, they were getting closer.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself as he saw her pick her bag up. Lily looked at his frustrated expression as she picked her bag up. Without thinking, she walked over to him. James didn't realize how close she'd gotten to him as he looked at the grass. The next thing he knew, he felt her hand hitting him across his head.

*SMACK*

James gripped the side of his head, "Ow, woman!" he said, glaring at her.

She pressed her lips together, rolling her eyes. "Why are you even talking to me? Get your head on straight. You've got a game to win" she said, walking away from him as soon as she said it.

James felt himself fighting a smile as he watched her walk away, her hips swaying. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He had a game to win.

A/N::: Ok guys, I know this one was a little dry in some areas...

next chapter will be better, I promise! :-)

Please review!