Sorry for such a long wait with the updates! Here is a fairly long chapter (just over 8500 words) to make up for it. Plus Bellarke. Need I say more?
Warning: violence, mentions of violence
Enjoy!
Chapter 10: Retuning The Favour
Clarke walked into the training centre, several feet in front of Wells. Ever since yesterday, she was ignoring him. While she thought they were in the verge of a breakthrough, he had to go and ruin it.
It still made her mad. He killed her dad and got her locked up, yet he still thought they could be friends? He thought he had the right to protect her and speak for her? No. It didn't work that way. He lost the privilege of giving his input when he turned his back on her. She was on the last straw with him.
She ate dinner quickly the night before, ignoring everything Wells said to her – which wasn't much, thankfully. She was thankful that he seemed to want to keep quiet about the whole incident – he hadn't told Kane yet. Thanks the gods. She didn't think that Kane would be too happy when he found out she went against his advice. He specifically told her to stay away from the Careers, which she didn't listen to.
She hadn't gone on the roof that night. Her shoulder was still tender from where Ontari pulled it, and she didn't want to risk falling as she climbed down the vines. Clarke doubted that the news of a tribute dying from sneaking out of their room would go over well with the Capitol officials.
She rolled her shoulder with a slight grimace as she walked towards her alliance. She didn't notice the pain originally – probably from the adrenaline – but after she showered, she could feel her shoulder throbbing. She was thankful for the Capitol's advanced technology that night. After she put some bruise cream on, it had felt loads better. She still felt the whispers of pain when she woke up that morning, but nothing like she knew she would've felt without that cream.
Clarke was nervous. Today was their last day to train. After today, they had only a few days left before the arena. They had the private training session with the Gameskeepers tomorrow, where they showed off their skills and were ranked against each other. The day after that was the interviews, which involved hours of makeup and other preparations. Kane told her they had a few hours in the morning free, so he would be giving them a crash course in previous arenas and the skills that won those Games. The next day, they were being thrown into the arena to fight to the death.
She wasn't ready. She doubted she would ever be ready for that moment she had to step into the glass tube and be lifted into the arena. She dreaded the moment she would see the glowing cornucopia in the centre of the arena, housing various weapons.
She wondered what the arena would be that year. She was thankful Kane was going to review old arenas with them. He claimed they liked to repeat them often, or at least use elements from previous Games.
Once, she watched the Games of tributes running around a snowy landscape, which caused most of the tributes to die from hypothermia. Another time, an active volcano wiped out more than half of the tributes. She doubted either of those settings would be recycled, since they weren't too popular with the sponsors. There wasn't enough gore.
If she was being honest, she wasn't sure that knowing the arena would help her or not. She wasn't experienced in any terrain. Any arena would be just as new and deadly to her. It could've been a volcano or a forest – she didn't know how to survive in either of those conditions. Still, she wasn't going to pass on any opportunity to get a leg up on her competitors.
She swallowed thickly. When did children her age or younger become her competitors? She didn't have too much time to ponder it, as she spotted Raven and Monty across the room. Like the previous days, Raven waved her over. She was still munching on a banana from breakfast, while Monty looked half asleep.
"You still up for some axe throwing today?" she asked Monty as she reached them. He grimaced and cracked open an eye slowly. He winced when the bright fluorescent lights of the training centre hit his eyes.
"So ready," he said sarcastically, shielding his face from the lights. He got up from his chair and stretched his back. "Raven and I had a late night," Monty explained after noticing Clarke's questioning gaze.
"Our stupid mentor thought it was a good idea to stay up until 2AM talking about their own Games," Raven supplied with the roll of her eyes. "It was absolute torture."
"He won The 3rd Hunger Games," he explained further to Clarke. Ah. That explained why it was torture.
"Oh," she said. She had heard about The 3rd Hunger Games. While it was the first Games, it was one of the most boring. They still hadn't perfected the method of fear they had now. While their Game wouldn't last more than three weeks, some of the early Games lasted more than a month. Most competitors didn't die from combat, but from hunger and thirst. She couldn't imagine their mentor's story was too particularly interesting.
"I slept through the alarm," Raven grumbled. "Does it look I brushed my hair today? Because I didn't."
"I haven't showered," Monty complained. "I'm serious, this is-" He fell silent and focused on something else. Clarke turned around and felt all the words die in her throat.
It was Charlotte with Lincoln.
Both District 8 tributes were walking towards them. Oh gods. Lincoln was there. Why was Lincoln there? He denied wanting to be part of their alliance.
"Hi, Clarke!" Charlotte called, breaking her from her thoughts. Her eyes were stuck on Lincoln, too stunned to muster a reply. His eyes were glued to her too. Charlotte turned to Lincoln and gestured towards Clarke. "That's Clarke."
"We've met," he said. While his voice wasn't warm, it wasn't unfriendly either. He seemed… distant and awkward. He stretched out his hand towards her. "Hi." That seemed to knock some of the shock out of Clarke.
"Hi!" She eagerly took his hand and shook it. What was he doing here? Did Charlotte do it? Did she convince him to join their alliance?
She grimaced when she realized she was clutching his hand too long to be friendly. He gave her an odd look as she jolted and pulled away from his grasp. Oh gods. She had to get it together.
"That's Raven – she's super smart and good with building things," Charlotte pointed at Raven. She quickly approached Lincoln and shook his hand. She looked just as stunned as Clarke felt. "And that's Monty – he's so nice and he's super smart too."
"Nice to meet you both." He shook their hands, a warm smile developing on his face.
"Wow. Strong hands." Monty's voice was faint, but Lincoln could clearly hear him. Monty froze and looked up, completely stunned.
"Uh. Okay."
Monty quickly shuffled away. Clarke understood where he was coming from. They had been hoping Lincoln would join their alliance for days. He was the only tribute that looked friendly enough for them to get along with, and he had an obvious talent for weapons. They were all a little stunned and out of their depths by him walking up to the group.
Lincoln turned to Clarke, a sheepish look on his face. "Looks like you've got me." Her eyes widened and flicked to Charlotte. The young girl was bouncing on her heels with excitement.
"You're in?" she repeated, her tone laced with excitement. Lincoln nodded and turned to the young girl beside him. He playfully ruffled her hair and she batted his hand away. Clarke smiled as the two of them interacted. They looked close enough to be brother and sister. What happened?
"Charlotte is a good negotiator," he said fonldy. "She kept telling me how great you guys were."
"Well, we are pretty great," Raven said, weakly trying to make a laugh. Nobody really felt like laughing. They were all too stunned. Would they actually have a good chance at survival now? Lincoln was an amazing fighter – he was proficient with almost every weapon he used from what Clarke could see. With him, they had all of their bases covered.
"It's really good to have you, Lincoln," Clarke said. He smiled and nodded at her. She was worried that she wouldn't have enough time to get to know him before the Games, but she put that out of her mind. He looked trustworthy, he made Charlotte happy, and he was a good fighter. There wasn't much else she needed to figure out. They needed him and she was willing to take a risk for it.
"You were right, Clarke. There is safety in numbers," he stressed. He glanced around their alliance, nodding appreciatively. Raven snorted.
"I'm just glad you're the one walking up to us, and not Murphy from District 5." She pulled a face as she said his name. Clarke chewed on her lip at Raven's comment. Truth be told, she was thinking about John Murphy for a while now. The only thing holding her back from asking him to join their alliance was Raven's dislike of him.
Clarke liked Murphy, strangely. He was crude, obnoxious, and overwhelming, but she could tell he had a good heart.
Okay. That was pushing it. He had a decent heart, though.
Maybe.
Well, it didn't really matter. He had a heart, and he was painfully honest. That was something she could appreciate. After being thrown in lock-up for just thinking about being honest, she grew an appreciation for anyone with that ability. She knew he wouldn't sugarcoat things, which hurt most of the time, but she could appreciate it.
"Actually…" Clarke turned to Raven, a meek smile on her face. Raven's expression fell further.
"Oh, no. No, Clarke." Clarke looked exasperated.
"I haven't even said anything!" Raven rolled her eyes.
"You didn't need to. I've hung around you long enough at this point. I know what you're thinking." Clarke pressed her lips into a thin line. "You want to ask Murphy to join our alliance, don't you?"
"Uh…" She shifted under her gaze. Finally, she let out a sigh. "I was actually thinking that. You're right." Her face lit up.
"I knew it!" Her eyes turned stormy. "Don't you dare."
"Who's Murphy?" Lincoln questioned, joining the conversation. Charlotte poked his arm.
"Raven has a thing with him." Raven's face turned scarlet.
"I most definitely don't have a thing with him," she said quickly. She turned to Lincoln. "I don't."
"Okay, then what's the problem?" he asked. "Who is he?" Charlotte scanned the tribute area critically.
"There. That's him. The one eating a blueberry muffin." Charlotte vaguely gestured in his direction. "Raven and him argued over who knocked who down at the train station." Raven frowned.
"He spilt chocolate on me. Then I almost got arrested." She groaned and fell back into her chair.
"But, Raven…" Monty sent her a sympathetic look. "I'm sure it was an accident." Clarke watched in amusement as her alliance interacted freely. It was nice knowing everyone was getting along relatively well.
"Oh, I'm sure it was." She sent him a sour look before blowing a piece of hair from her face. Lincoln shrugged and turned to Clarke.
"We both said it. There's safety in numbers. It might be good to have another set of eyes and hands. We might need it." Charlotte immediately agreed with Lincoln.
"Up to you, Clarke," Monty agreed. "Just as long as he doesn't kill me in my sleep, I'm fine with him joining." Raven sent him a look.
"I wouldn't put it past him," she snapped. After a long moment, her shoulders slumped and she turned to Clarke. "Whatever. I'll be okay if you're okay." Clarke nearly choked at that.
"What? Really?" Raven's head fell into her hands. Between her fingers, she mumbled a response. While she obviously wasn't happy about it, she was willing to let Murphy join their alliance.
"I know I don't really have a place here, but I think the more of us, the better. That means one less person out there trying to kill us." Lincoln smiled warmly at Clarke. "We can never be too precautious. Especially with the careers this year." His face darkened at that. Clarke nodded in agreement.
"Districts 1 and 4 are lethal," Monty agreed.
"They'll pick off the easy targets first, most likely," Lincoln said. "Those without an alliance, those that go into the cornucopia in the bloodbath, those that are sloppy with covering their trail. If we are all together, we can work together to avoid that."
"I agree," Clarke said, a smile on her face. When she asked Lincoln to be part of their alliance, she didn't know he was so wise. He had wisdom she thought only a Career would know. She briefly wondered how he knew such good tactics and was a skilled fighter, but be from an outer district. "What are your skills? Anything specific?"
"I don't want to fight," he said quickly. Clarke was surprised at that. His choice wouldn't be one based on lack of skill. "I only want to survive. If that means killing nobody, I will be happy. I'm not here to kill. I'm not here to fight. I'm here because I have to be."
"We all are," Raven said, lifting her head from her hands. "None of us volunteered. We were all reaped. We all know where you're coming from." Monty nodded.
"We don't want to kill anyone either," he said. "The plan is to just survive as long as we can without hurting anyone."
"I'll join," Lincoln said slowly. Clarke somehow felt like there was a but coming. "But, I'll only stay if the Careers are out there. As soon as the Careers are wiped out, I'll go my own way."
"That's fair," Clarke determined. Lincoln needed them to survive, just like they needed him to survive. As soon as he felt like the biggest threat was gone, he would leave the alliance.
She had seen it happen on television before. Alliances always fell apart. Whether it be because it was wiped out, or a tribute turned and betrayed the alliance, or the alliance disbanded, she couldn't recall a time where an alliance made it to the ends of a Game.
Most commonly, alliances would disband once it got down to the final few tributes. She guessed that nobody really wanted to fight someone that you had spent the last several weeks protecting.
She glanced around her small group of allies, an odd feeling growing in her stomach. This wasn't permanent. One way or another, only one of them could survive. In a few weeks, they would either all be dead or separated.
She pushed that thought out of her head quickly and reminded herself that it was the whole point of the Games. Only one could live.
Clarke turned to the young girl who was still rocking on the balls of her feet from excitement. That's one thing Clarke had come to know about Charlotte – she was always moving. She had lots of energy and gave it her all every day.
"You look chipper," Clarke commented. The young girl flashed a wide smile.
"I'm just excited Lincoln is here," she said. "I've been talking to Lincoln lots. He's really nice." Lincoln looked at the younger girl, a soft smile on his face.
"You're a good kid, Char," he said. She flashed him a smile.
"We mostly talk about home. Our families." The smile wavered at the mention of her loved ones she left behind. It was clear that she missed her family and friends. At that age, Clarke was sure she would be feeling the same way. She decided not to push the topic of Lincoln anymore to the girl – she seemed to hurt whenever her home was brought up.
"We both miss them, but it's easier to get through it together," Lincoln agreed. This perked the girl right up and she nodded enthusiastically. As Lincoln and Charlotte discussed the simple things of District 8, like the honey and the smell of town square, the five of them made their way to the axe throwing station. Monty soon joined in on their conversation, talking about the few occasions he had honey from their district.
Clarke smiled at the three of them. It made Clarke happy to know that they were starting to get close. While Monty and Charlotte were both her picks, she knew that Monty would've never selected Charlotte to join. She just wasn't the typical ally you went for in the Games. While the four other tributes surrounding her were her allies by choice, the same couldn't be said for the rest of them. It was nice seeing them bonding and getting along.
There was only room for one thrower at a time, so Monty decided to go first. Raven has pulled out another piece of fruit from her pocket and Charlotte was pressed tightly against the glass wall that looked out at the targets. She had dragged Lincoln with her to watch, still not done talking to him about their home. Clarke half wondered if Lincoln had any younger siblings – he was so good with children.
Clarke looked away from her group and scanned the rest of the tributes. Most of them had shown up right after she did, so the training centre was full. Tributes could be seen at every station, all of them feeling the panic that came with the final day of training.
Her shoulder throbbed as she caught sight of the Careers. They were slicing dummies with swords, laughing and giggling amongst each other. They didn't have a care in the world as they used their weapons. A chill went of Clarke's spine at the sight of them. They weren't scared or panicked over it being the last day of training. In fact, they looked like they were having a good time. It made her feel sick.
She could see Murphy working on making fish hooks across the room, a scowl on his face. He was isolated from all other tributes, which was a good thing for her. If he was already in an alliance, he wouldn't want to join hers. She would have to catch him when he looked like he was in a better mood, now that her whole group agreed on asking him to join.
When she caught sight of Bellamy and Octavia, she was stunned to find him looking at her too. They locked eyes from across the room, like two magnets drawn to each other. She smiled and sent him a little wave. He smiled back, but his attention was pulled away by Octavia.
Clarke couldn't keep the smile off her face when she turned back to her allies. She felt giddy just by catching him staring at her. She tried to quash those feelings as soon as they rose. Raven was staring at her, her eyebrow raised.
"What's got you so happy?" Clarke merely shrugged and wiped the smile off. She tried to look nonchalant as she turned to her ally.
"Nothing. Just happy that we've almost done most of the stations," she responded. While it wasn't the reason she had a silly smirk on her face, it was a partial truth; they only had a few stations to accomplish today. They had done well as a group. While they weren't great or even good at all the skills, they had enough knowledge to get by.
"Hm. Me too." Raven took another bite of her banana. "I'm glad we're a team. We got a lot more done." Clarke nodded in agreement.
"Wow!" Charlotte exclaimed. The two girls peered into the glass incased room. Out of the three aces Monty threw, two landed on the target. He sent them a wide smile and Raven sent him a thumbs up. He turned back to throw more axes, clearly having a knack for the skill. As he began throwing, Clarke found herself looking back where she last seen Bellamy.
He was standing at the plant identification station with his sister, their backs towards the axe throwing station. They were both working on it together, but there was still a bunch of red lighting up the screen. For every green light, there were five red ones. It was safe to assume that they were going to fail the assignment they were trying to complete.
Almost as if he could sense eyes on him, he turned around, locking eyes with her. They stared at each other for a moment before he stuck his tongue out at her. Clarke nearly burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.
He looked silly. He was a trained killer and only days away before having to fight for his life, but when he stuck his tongue out, he looked like a normal teenager. He didn't look like someone who had the weight of the world placed on his shoulders. He looked like a regular 18-year-old – someone ready to graduate school and go out into the real world. He looked like someone who was having fun with friends, not training to fight for his life.
Clarke turned away from him again, an even bigger smile on her face than before. She took a second to compose herself before she fully faced Raven. She knew that if the older girl seen her with a smile, she would only dig deeper to find out why.
When Clarke turned back to the group, Monty was leaving the room, a smile on his face. He was proud of his accomplishments inside the training area – rightfully so. He managed to hit most of the targets, which was impressive. Raven congratulated him on a job well done.
"Clarke! Your turn!" Charlotte called from the glass wall, waving her over eagerly. She nodded her head and chewed on her lip. She wasn't looking forward to trying to throw an axe.
"Any tips?" she asked Monty as he strolled up to stand beside Raven. He shrugged.
"It's all in the wrist. Keep it light." Clarke nodded again and walked into the room.
She was horrible at it.
Even with Monty shouting tips at her, she only hit the target once out of five times. Her shoulder was still hurting from when Ontari pulled it, making her mobility limited. Every time she swung her arm back, she felt her whole side flare up in pain. Once, she dropped the axe behind her body from an extreme flash of pain. After a few more tries, she gave up, sweat beading down her forehead and arm stinging.
"You still did good!" Charlotte encouraged as she left the room. Clarke laughed and ruffled her hair. Even though she knew the younger girl was just being nice, the effort to cheer her up was appreciated. Charlotte was a good kid.
"Thank you, Charlotte." Raven entered the room next, looking as uncomfortable as Clarke had felt. Once again, Clarke found herself more than thankful that Lincoln decided to join their alliance. They needed all the help they could get with weapons.
She shifted her weight and chewed on her lip. She could feel him tugging at the back of her mind, almost like he was calling her. Finally, she gave into her request, and turned around to look at Bellamy again. He was focused intently on the screen in front of him, which glowed mostly red. He looked tired, while Octavia looked frustrated beside him.
They weren't able to identify plants.
Clarke bit her lip. That was an important skill to have. Out in any environment, you'd have to collect your own food. You couldn't always rely on the sponsors to give every single meal, nor could you rely on using whatever resources you picked up from the cornucopia. If you weren't part of the Careers, then you couldn't reply on the cornucopia at all, really. They usually took control of the resources, cutting off supplies from the rest of the tributes.
The two Blakes looked stressed. Bellamy had frown on his face as he punched various buttons, while Octavia was chewing on her lip. She muttered something to him and he rolled his eyes in response. They both looked like they were nearing their last straws with this skill.
Clarke turned to Monty, an idea popping in her head. She didn't think through all the details, but she didn't really need to. It just felt like the right thing to do, and who was she to argue with her intuition?
"I'm going to help District 2," she declared. Monty looked at her in surprise, his eyes wide.
"Wh-What?" He sputtered, unable to form proper words. Clarke wasn't surprised by his reaction. It wasn't a secret that he wasn't a fan of the Careers. In fact, she could say the same about her whole alliance. They didn't trust the Career districts.
"Yeah. They're struggling with their plant identification." Clarke didn't need his permission, but she felt odd if she just left without a proper explanation. If they were going to be her allies, there needed to be some mutual trust. Monty stared at her blankly.
"…And? No offence, but if there's something that takes more Careers out of the competition, I'm all for it." Clarke frowned at his answer. She knew that if she hadn't interacted with Bellamy those few times, she would be saying the same thing. Everyone knew the Careers were dangerous. Nobody trusted them in any aspect of life. The Careers were the Capitol's lapdogs, so dealing with them in any capacity was frustrating.
But still, Clarke couldn't help but feel like Bellamy was different. Wasn't he different?
"He helped me yesterday when he saw me struggling. I'm just returning the favour. That way, there's nothing he can hold over me." Sure, she thought, that was the reason she wanted to help them.
Monty shrugged, knowing he wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise. "If you think so." Clarke nodded her head, her jaw locked in determination.
"I do. I'll catch up with you guys in a bit." With those words, she left the axe throwing area and headed over to where Bellamy and Octavia stood. Bellamy was swearing under his breath as he kept punching wrong buttons. Each time he hit a wrong answer, the machine would buzz loudly.
Clarke approached from behind them and read the question as it appeared on the screen. It was asking him to identify the non-poisonous berry out of the four pictures. Simple enough. His hand began inching towards a poisonous berry.
"Not that one," she said quickly, disturbing the silence. The Blakes both jumped slightly, both startled by her sudden appearance. Bellamy's hand clenched and fell towards his side. He turned around, a smirk on his lips.
"Hey, princess." While she once despised him calling her than, she honestly couldn't care at that point. She wasn't too sure what it meant or why he called her that, but it didn't really matter. If she was a princess, then so be it. She returned his smile and walked up to the podium, stepping in-between the Blake siblings.
"Hey," she responded as she pressed the button. The question lit up green on the large screen. She smiled in satisfaction and turned to Bellamy. "It looks like I'll be the one helping you today," she said. He grimaced.
"I take it you know what you're doing with this?" he asked. She nodded her head. "Thank the gods."
"I was in school to become a medic, so I'm familiar with some plants. I always went to gather herbs with my mother."
Clarke turned to Octavia, a wide smile on her face. This was the first time she had seen the younger girl up close. The girl had her brown hair tied back and her eyes wide, clearly curious. While she had stolen a few glances at her during the tribute parade and training, she looked different closer up.
"I'm Clarke," she introduced herself.
"I know," Octavia said, a faint hint of laughter in her voice. Clarke raised her eyebrow, shocked at her response. "Bellamy told me." Octavia let out a laugh at Bellamy's expression and shook Clarke's hand. "He said that you two had fun training yesterday."
"We did," she admitted openly. It was fun, in a way. It was nice to feel close to someone again, after going so long without that connection. "I mean, other than a little visit from the Careers." Bellamy scoffed, his nose wrinkling up.
"Gods, I hope they don't come bother us again today. Maybe they got the hint yesterday." Clarke snorted.
"Sure. Just like how my district partner keeps getting the hint." Bellamy cracked a smile at that, remembering how he was confronted by Wells the day earlier. It seemed that they both had drama with their districts. Clarke looked at the next question that popped up on the screen, drawing her attention away from the Blakes. "Do you know the answer?" she asked Bellamy. He stared at the question for a long moment before cracking a half-smile.
"I don't have the slightest clue," he said. Octavia muttered something in agreement.
Even though she should've felt bad for the siblings, she couldn't help but smile. For the first time ever, she saw a Career struggling with a skill used in the Hunger Games. Where Bellamy and Octavia seemed to know how to do everything else, they struggled with plant identification. It was a strange feeling, being the one to know the answer. Weren't the Careers supposed to know everything to do with the Games?
"The trick is to look for the patterns," she said, brushing off her thoughts. While she spoke about how to tell if a plant was poisonous or not, she couldn't help but focus on Bellamy. He was watching her so intently, nodding when she mentioned something. When he was confused by something, his forehead would wrinkle and his eyebrows would lift the slightest bit.
She couldn't help but admit it. He was cute, even when he was confused. She had thought so the other day too, when he was completely focused on training her. He looked intense, which caused her heart to skip.
Her mind froze.
She continued to speak about plants, but she wasn't focusing on that. Her mind kept spiraling around and around.
She thought Bellamy was cute.
She panicked at that thought.
She couldn't think that.
He was a Career. He wasn't trustworthy. He was a trained killer. They would have to go fight to the death in two days. She couldn't allow herself to think he was cute. She couldn't get attached.
Clarke felt dread seep into her. This couldn't be happening.
Now that she examined her feelings more, the more dread she felt.
She was beginning to trust him. How could she not – he had helped train her in something she lacked. He told her things that he said he never told anyone else. He was vulnerable with her, and she was open with him. He brought out a side of her that she thought had died with her father – a little sliver of her humanity and a little sliver of her heart.
She had been acting ever since she got to the Capitol. She didn't act like who she truly was – all she was doing was pretending for the cameras and playing it up to get sponsors. With Bellamy? She felt like she could be herself. She felt like she could allow herself to laugh and to joke. She felt like she could tell him what was on her mind – what was truly on her mind, not just some crap she said to get allies and sponsors.
He was one of the most lethal people in the Games, and yet she chose him to trust. Out of all of the people here, she seemed to be drawn to him the most. She seemed to trust him the most.
She must admit, she wasn't completely there yet. She didn't trust him completely – and she wasn't sure if she ever would be able to. But even the smallest bit of trust she had for him scared her.
She shouldn't trust him.
She shouldn't be open with him.
She shouldn't consider him a friend, and she shouldn't even consider him as a potential ally.
Yet, here she was.
And, if she was being honest with herself, she didn't even care. She knew that she was dealing with something potentially dangerous, but she threw caution to the wind. What did it matter if she was careful or not? She was still going to have to fight in a few days. She was still going to that arena, and she would have to fight for her life, regardless of how she interacted with Bellamy Blake.
Plus, what was the worst thing that could happen? Even if Bellamy was lying this whole time, what would that do? He turned down her offer to be in an alliance. They weren't planning on interacting during the Games. He wasn't picking her brain for details on her alliances. He wasn't digging for weaknesses and vulnerabilities. What was he really gaining, if he was just playing the game this whole time? If he was only talking to her so he could kill her later, she would've thought he would be digging a little deeper.
Talking to him or not – it changed nothing. Either way, they were going to fight to the death soon. Either way, they weren't going to be allies in the arena. Either way, their friendship – or whatever she wanted to call it – wasn't going to last more than two days, and by the end of two weeks, they wouldn't both be alive anymore.
So what was the harm?
She couldn't find any. She was worried that he was only playing the game, but there was something in her that told her that he wasn't. He was vulnerable with her the day before. And, here he was now, openly admitting that he couldn't do something.
She could feel herself starting to trust him.
Even though people warned her not to, she did. They didn't truly know him – just the stereotypes – but she knew him. She knew he was kind. She knew he had a good heart.
And, so what if she thought he was cute. He was cute. Especially his tiny mannerisms he had, whether that be throwing his head back when he laughed or scrunching up his face when he thought – it made him even more attractive in Clarke's eyes. He was unique and honest and human. She could feel herself attracted to him in more than one way.
That's what scared her.
Who cared if she talked to him, or trusted him. In the end, that couldn't be used to hurt her, as long as she was cautious and aware. But she could feel herself starting to view him as a friend. She could feel herself being drawn towards him, like two magnets on a bench. That was dangerous. That could be used against her.
He was quickly becoming her Achilles heel.
Clarke tried to push those thoughts out of her head and live in the moment. If she got too caught up with her thoughts, she wouldn't get anywhere. She would just think herself in circles.
She stood to the side and watched Octavia tap at the screen. Bellamy stood beside her, his shoulder close to brushing up against hers. She could practically feel his body warmth rolling off of him, inviting her closer. The three of them were silent as Octavia took the quiz. So far, she had a success rate of 79%, which was good considering she had failed spectacularly only moments before.
"You're a good teacher, too," Bellamy said suddenly, breaking the silence. Clarke looked up at him, curious. "Yesterday, you said I was a good teacher. You're a good one too," he explained further. She smiled and adverted her eyes, feeling touched by his words.
"Thank you." They were silent for a moment, the only sounds coming from Octavia's fingers hitting the buttons.
"I wanted to be one, you know," he said, once again breaking the silence. "A teacher, I mean. I always wanted to be a teacher." Clarke was surprised by his words. He had been training his whole life to be a fighter, yet he always dreamed of becoming a teacher? She never would have guessed that was his dream career, but, as soon as he said it, she could see it. He would've made a good teacher.
"What made you want to do that?" she asked lightly. Making conversation with him was as easy as breathing. It struck Clarke just how connected she felt to him.
"I loved studying at school. And reading – especially stories of the old world. Before Panem." Clarke nodded, a warm feeling erupting in her chest. She read books from before Panem, too. She loved them, actually. They were all so light and full of hope. She was sure at the time that they were published, they were hits, but not so much anymore. It also hurt her to read them – to be reminded of the past that was torn apart. "I wanted to teach history."
"You'd be good at that," she agreed. If he read so much old material, she could see how he would've made a good history teacher. Plus, he read mythology and material from ancient times. "An Adonis teaching about Adonis," Clarke joked. Bellamy went completely silent at that. She quickly ran through what she just said, trying to figure out what caused him to get so quiet. Her heart stopped.
She called him an Adonis.
Her cheeks lit up in a blush as her words finally registered. Adonis was a man from mythology, one of the most beautiful men to grace Earth. She just called him beautiful. It wasn't a lie, but she really didn't need to go around admitting that to him.
Before she could even begin to explain herself, Octavia interrupted them.
"Done!" Clarke was thankful for the distraction, and left Bellamy standing. She walked up to the podium and read off the results.
"You're doing really well," she praised. "80%."
"All thanks to you," Octavia pointed out, poking her shoulders. "Seriously, we would've been so lost without you."
"Well, the same goes for your brother. He really helped me yesterday. I'm just returning the favour." There were those words again. Just returning the favour. Like she hadn't come to help them because she wanted to. She didn't come to help to return a favour – she came to help because she wanted to help. She didn't want to see them struggle over a skill she had. It had nothing to do with repaying anything.
"I'm going to try the rock wall," Bellamy said suddenly. "I'll be back in a bit." With that, he left the two girls standing. As soon as he was out of earshot, Octavia turned to Clarke, a large smile plastered on her face.
"Bellamy told me that you invited us to be in your alliance?" she asked. She genuinely looked excited by the prospect.
"Yeah, but he said no. He just wants to be able to focus on you during the Games." Octavia batted her hand in the air.
"He's so overprotective," she dismissed. Clarke noticed that her nose scrunched up like his did when he was confused. "But I see the point in him wanting to stay away from big groups. They attract attention." Clarke shrugged.
Even though that may be true, she never wanted to be alone again – not after the past year. She wanted to be surrounded by people and laughter. She wanted to hear human voices. She wanted to be able to reach out and feel the warmth of another person if she needed to. After her time in lock-up, she never wanted to be alone for long periods of time again.
"Maybe, but I'd rather attract attention than be alone." She stopped herself and faced Octavia, a grimace on her face. "I'm sorry – that came out wrong. I wasn't implying that you're all alone. I know you have your brother." Octavia snorted, clearly not offended by Clarke's words.
"No, I get it. Sometimes being lonely is torture enough," she said, her smile dipping. Clarke got the impression that the young girl had her fair share of experiences with tragedy and torture. "But Bellamy is enough for me. It was the two of us, plus our mother, growing up. Mom wasn't home much – she was always working, trying to provide for us."
"I didn't know," Clarke said, completely shocked by her words. Bellamy never spoke about his past, just like she never did with hers. "It must've been tough." Octavia shrugged.
"In some ways, yes. In most, I had a normal childhood. I got to go to school and train. I had friends and we would hang out and have sleepovers. But it was Bellamy who raised me – not my mom." She sighed wistfully and closed her eyes, almost like she was remembering a memory. "He was the one to teach me how to hold my first sword, too." The two girls smiled at each other, both feeling closer with each other with that shared connection.
"He's a good teacher," Clarke agreed. "He would've made a good one." Octavia frowned deeply at that, her eyes sparking.
"He still will make a good one," she corrected. "He's going to get out of here. He's going to win. I'll make sure of it." Clarke wanted to say that it wasn't possible – he had come here to protect Octavia, no matter the cost. She knew he didn't expect to live past the Games. She knew he planned to sacrifice his life for hers. While he hadn't said it out loud, she could tell. Clarke held her tongue though. She didn't want to interfere with Blake family drama.
"So, you used to train at your school?" Clarke asked, changing the subject quickly. If possible, Octavia frowned even further.
"Yeah. We were trained at school by previous victors and Peacekeepers. You name it, we did it. Sword duels, knife throwing, axe wielding, hand-to-hand combat. Every day for several hours, we would go and train between classes. It's mandatory for all citizens at the age 11."
"Wow." She couldn't imagine growing up in that environment, forced to practice something that could be used to kill someone. Even having to train for the Hunger Games was tough for her. But Octavia had her childhood ripped away. She was forced to grow up too quickly.
"I didn't mind," she said. "That's always been my reality. You go. You train. You train more. You do competitions. You're ranked. The top ones go to the Hunger Games. I just grew up with that idea, so I'm used to it." Clarke nodded her head. It was shocking, just how different the districts were. "I guess it's… different for you?" The idea of growing up differently seemed shocking and foreign to Octavia.
"Very. We don't ever train in District 6. This is the first time I've ever seen a spear in person," she admitted. She wasn't sure why she was telling her these things. After all, they weren't allies. She shouldn't be so open. But, like her brother, Octavia was inviting. "Wait. You said the top students ranked go to the Games?"
"Yup."
"So you and Bellamy were both top of your years?" she asked. Octavia looked away quickly and fiddled with her hands. Clarke got the impression that this was something she didn't want to talk about.
"Well, not exactly." She sighed. "It's complicated. I'm sure Bellamy would want to tell you. He's a better storyteller." Clarke smiled.
"Yeah. Sure." Even though she was dying inside to know what Octavia was hinting at, she let it go. She hoped that she would be able to find out the answer before she died.
"Look. There he is." Octavia waved her hand high in the air. Bellamy was across the room, climbing the rock wall. He half turned around and waved back. Clarke smiled at their connection.
She never had a brother or sister, but she always wanted one. Seeing the Blakes interact made her happy. They were so pure and so giving to each other. Bellamy had practically given up his life for his sister. Not only did he do that for the Hunger Games, but he also did it since the day she was born. If what Octavia said was true, he was the one who truly raised her. She didn't imagine that was easy.
Then, someone caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. John Murphy – the male tribute from District 5 – was throwing knives on the opposite side of the training centre. He was pretty good too; he was hitting most targets near the centre.
Perfect. Just the guy she was looking for. While she knew Murphy was volatile and unpredictable, he wasn't afraid to get dirty. He didn't try to cover up anything either – he was unapologetically himself. He spoke his mind without question.
She needed that type of honesty in her life. Even though she was pretty sure the Blakes weren't playing the game, she could never be sure. With Murphy, she knew. He didn't have a filter.
"It was nice talking with you, Octavia," Clarke said, already moving towards the knife wielding area.
"See you!"
Clarke made her way through the training centre, her eyes never leaving Murphy's back.
"Murphy?" Clarke interrupted his throw. He was already in mid-throw when his attention got pulled away. He swore and the knife went flying past the target. He let out an exasperated sigh and turned towards her.
"Thanks. You messed up my throw," he said dryly, clearly not impressed. "What is it?" His voice was sharp and his patience worn thin.
"I don't know if you remember me. I'm Clarke. We met at the tribute parade." He merely stared at her. When she didn't respond right away, he made a sour face.
"And?" Clarke was tempted to smile – she was right about him. Even though he was rude and harsh, he wasn't afraid to say what he was truly thinking.
"Are you interested in joining an alliance?" she asked. "It's me, Ra-" Murphy cut her off with a short bark of laughter.
"Yeah okay,' he said sarcastically. "I'm a lone wolf kinda guy. I don't do well on teams." He turned back to the targets on the wall, turning his back to her. "I'm more of an everyone for themselves person." He threw a knife, which embedded itself in the target. He smiled at his work. "I'm sure you'll survive without me, won't you Princess?" He turned back to her, a smug look on his face. Clarke narrowed her eyes, but didn't comment about the name. After all, this was the same guy that went off on Wells for being the son of the mayor. What did she expect? He obviously had something against authority figures and their families.
"Well, if you change your mind…" Murphy waved his hand over his shoulder, dismissing her. His attitude made her want to grit her teeth, but she pushed her feelings of frustration down. She knew that this was to be expected with Murphy. Clarke sighed and retreated back to her group of allies to train the rest of the day.
Even though she tried to keep her mind occupied, she couldn't help but think about Murphy and the Blakes.
Murphy burned hot and bright – he was as dangerous and unpredictable as fire. She didn't think many would view him as a good ally, but she couldn't shake the feeling that he was a good person. Under all of the rough layers, she felt like he could be a good guy. She could feel it in his actions and see it through his eyes.
It didn't matter anyways – he had turned down her offer to be in her alliance. It was probably for the best anyways; he didn't get along well with the others. She remembered at the tribute parade, when he first met Raven and Monty. Raven and him rubbed the wrong way specifically, there was no question about that. Clarke knew that he drove her up a wall.
That seemed to be a frequent thing with him. He also drove Wells up a wall. She could see how. Even hearing about Bellamy calling her princess set her off in a mood – she couldn't imagine actually dealing with another tribute that had it out to annoy you.
Although, she did have something similar with Bellamy at start. While she didn't think he was out to annoy her, he did that job fairly easily. She couldn't believe how different the District 2 tribute was when she got to know him. He had so many layers that it was hard to pull back. They were in the Games, so it was even harder to tell what was real and what was an act. Still, she could feel it in herself. He was special.
The same went with Octavia. Both of the Blake siblings were special. She had the same kind heart as Bellamy, even if she was slightly more bubbly and open than her brother. She couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. Was it possible for the both of them to be so open and welcoming to her?
She glanced across the training room briefly, just long enough to see Octavia and Bellamy both climbing the rock wall, each racing to the top. Even with death looming above their heads, they were laughing with each other and trying to beat the other up the wall.
She smiled.
Regardless if they were playing the game, she felt inexplicably drawn to them.
Thank you for reading! I absolutely adore writing Murphy, so I hope you enjoyed reading about him.
I've been thinking about the ages of characters in this fic. Below is a list of main characters so far, and their corresponding ages.
Clarke - 17
Wells - 17
Raven - 18
Monty - 17
Charlotte - 12
Lincoln - 18
Murphy - 18
Bellamy - 18
Octavia - 16
Ontari - 16
Cage - 18
Roan - 18
Luna – 17
Like I mentioned in an earlier chapter, many of their ages had to be adapted to fit this fic. If you don't enjoy changing the ages of certain characters, feel free to imagine that the Hunger Games' age limit extends beyond 18 and keep all characters with their canon ages.
A few comments: Bellamy was still quite young when Octavia was born, but he still played an active part in raising her.
A quick shout out to Catastrophicchloe on AO3! She recently started writing her own fic with Bellarke set in The Hunger Games called "Safe and Sound." And, amazingly, it was inspired by this fic! We've spent hours discussing our fics and different concepts and I can safely say her fic is going to be an amazing read! I also just wanted to say that I gave full permission to her to write her fic. Go check it out!
Sorry for such a long wait between updates! Next chapter should be posted on October 23. I hope regular updates will pick up after that! My deepest apologizes. I know how tough it is to wait so long for updates. I'll try my absolute best to get them out quickly.
Thanks for reading! I'm currently pre-writing chapter 34 (wow) but I'm at a complete standstill. Comments are my fuel, so I would really love if you left your thoughts below! Also, wish me luck with chapter 34. It feels impossible to write it at this point!
Thank you for all of the reviews, favourites and follows. I truly appreciate everyone who has clicked on this fic to read! As some of you may have noticed, I have fallen behind on my replies! I'm sooooooooo sorry. Please know that I always read every review left on this fic (and any fic of mine). Thank you!
Paw