Got a bad case of writer's block while writing this chapter, so it didn't come out as good as I'd hoped. Hope you enjoy it all the same.
"For the last time, we were not making out!" Tigress retorted for the eleventh time since she, Po, Mr. Ping and Shifu began ascending the ten thousand stairs.
"Well whatever it was, you had better not let me catch you doing it again!" Shifu growled, then winced again. Ascending was worse than descending when you were suffering from a needle wound to the buttock, something that did little to help Shifu's temper.
"Master, it was an accident!" Tigress resisted the urge to groan in frustration. "As we have explained umpteen times, Mr. Ping, under his sleep-walking trance, flung a cleaver at us. In his attempt to dodge, Po leapt in my direction."
"And my arms wrapping around her was just a reflex." Po added.
"Unlike the last time..." Tigress cast him an aside glance, smirking. Luckily Shifu didn't seem to hear her.
"Anyway..." Po twiddled his thumbs as they walked, his cheeks heating up from Tigress's remark. "How's your butt, Shifu?"
"Shut it, panda." Shifu replied. "You're already in enough trouble."
"Oh, Master Shifu, please don't be too hard on them." Mr. Ping spoke up as he smoothed the creases of the shining red and white robe he had changed into after waking up. "It was my fault they got held up, after all."
"If that was the case, then why didn't you two wake him up?" Shifu asked testily.
"Because we didn't want to startle him while he was holding the cleaver!" Tigress exclaimed in exasperation. "He could have hurt himself."
"It's true." Mr. Ping said.
"Harrumph!" Shifu walked off ahead, fed up with the conversation.
Mr. Ping chuckled sheepishly as he turned his gaze to his two younger companions.
"Speaking of which, I'm awfully sorry that happened, son."
"Hey, don't worry about it, dad." Po replied.
"You were sleep-walking, Mr. Ping." Tigress added gently. "You had no clue what you were doing."
"True... but I do wish I remembered what I had been dreaming about..." Mr. Ping looked up at the night sky wistfully. "Well anyway... oh, Po, you look so adorable in that outfit!" Mr. Ping beamed as Po cringed. "You look like the first action figure you ever made!"
"Dad!" Po gasped, but it was too late; Tigress's interest was already peaked.
"First action figure?" Tigress asked. "You mean the Furious Five weren't the first?"
"Oh no..." Mr. Ping started before Po could stop him. "Once he'd gotten the hang of carving food, dear little Po here made a cute little carving of himself dressed up as a kung fu warrior! It was so cute I made him an apple pie to celebrate!"
"Dad..." Po gritted his teeth.
"Actually, I think I have it here with me!"
"What?!" Po stopped in his tracks, causing his father and Tigress to do the same. "No, Dad, no!"
Mr. Ping didn't seem to hear him as he dug around in the pocket of the apron he was still wearing and pulled out a small wooden object. Po covered his face with his paws and turned away as the goose placed the figure in Tigress's paws. The figure looked almost exactly like Po in his current outfit, with the exception of the cape and gold dragon emblem.
"Isn't it adorable?" Mr. Ping chuckled. Po gritted his teeth harder together as he heard Tigress let out a small laugh as she looked at the figure.
"Po, how old were you when you made this?" She asked.
Aw man... Po didn't turn back around straight away. Oh well... it doesn't matter anyway. It's not as if she would ever lose interest in me that she never had in the first place...
"I was..." Po mumbled as he turned back round to face them. "Sixteen."
"Sixteen?" Tigress repeated. "That was roundabout when the Furious Five got together."
"Yeah." Po muttered, cheeks burning red. "About a couple of months after you became an official kung fu master."
"Oh yes..." Tigress said as she remembered that day. "I was sixteen at the time."
"You became one of the youngest people to gain the rank of master." Po added. "That day was one of the most awesome days of my life."
"Of your life?" Tigress raised an eyebrow.
"Er... I mean..." Po suddenly found himself flustered. "Because when I heard the news, I..."
"Tigress, may I have the figure back?" Mr. Ping spoke up at that very moment. "Po might get upset if you get scratches on it!"
"Dad..." Po said for the umpteenth time as Tigress handed back the figure, but Mr. Ping was beginning to enjoy himself as he reminisced about his son's past antics.
"Oh, Po loves his little figurines!" Mr. Ping sighed nostalgically as he put the figure back in his apron pocket. "I remember this lovely little habit that Po has to this day..."
Po slumped his shoulders, giving up and deciding to try and endure.
"As you probably already know, every year Po visits the Festival of Figurines, always bringing his action figures with him."
"Ah, the 'Fest'." Tigress said. "You mean that ridiculous get-together of geeks?"
"Hey!" Po scowled.
"Anyway, every morning before he leaves for the festival, Po likes to line up his figures and give them a little pep talk." Mr. Ping went on. "He would always talk as if they were going on an actual mission!"
Po couldn't bring himself to look at Tigress.
"Then he would pretending to be them before packing them in his little box..."
Po pulled his fancy rice hat down over his face.
"And he would always save you for last, and that was when it really started getting cute!"
Po's eyes widened behind the rim of his hat.
"What do you mean by that, Mr. Ping?" Tigress asked.
"Well, when acting as you, he would always pretend that you were shy..." Mr. Ping said. "As if there was something you wanted to tell Po, but couldn't..."
Po clamped a paw over his father's beak quick as lightning.
"HO-HO-KAY!" He said in an unnaturally loud voice, releasing his grip on his father just as quickly. "Times getting on! Whaddya say we get a move on!"
"Yeah, let's pick up the pace." Tigress said, and so they quickened their pace a little more until they caught up with the very disgruntled red panda.
"About time you three caught up!" Shifu scowled. "Come on, we're late!"
The other members of the Furious Five were still waiting outside the Hall of Warriors by the time the foursome made it to the top of the stairs.
"It's about time." Crane said. "Everyone's waiting inside- woaaah..."
The jaws of Crane, Mantis and Monkey dropped simultaneously at the sight of Tigress in her emerald green dress. Unknown to the others, Viper shot Crane a dirty look as he stared at the striped feline.
"Let's not keep them waiting." Shifu said, and opened the doors.
The layout of the banquet table was almost the same as last year, except the black and silver colors of the furniture and decorations were joined with bright reds, greens and golds that brought a far more cheerful atmosphere to the room. With the exception of the eight chairs reserved for the recently arrived warriors (and chef), the table was packed with kung fu masters and royal family members alike. Emperor Xian was seated in between Princess Haoxin and Di Tan (Mr. Ping nearly fainted upon seeing him). On Haoxin's other side were her daughter and grandson, Princess Zu Chunhua and Prince Zan respectively. On Di Tan's other side were Princess Mei Li and her family, as well as Lu Kang. Taking up the rest of the table were the thirty one kung fu masters, including a certain Master Storming Ox, Master Croc, and a taller than usual boar who could only be Master Boar. Sitting next to one of the empty chairs was Anming, who had earlier accepted Mantis's invitation to attend the feast with him.
"Grandmaster Shifu!" Xian grinned and stood up as they entered the room. "What on earth took you so long?"
"It's a long story, Emperor Xian." Shifu said as he bowed respectfully. "Please let me express my most sincerest apologies for the delay."
"Oh, it is quite alright, Master Retreat." Haoxin waved away the apology. "By the way, how is your bottom?"
"Bottom?" Xian asked curiously.
"It's fine, thank you for asking!" Shifu replied quickly. "Apologies for the delay, all of you. But now we are back, the feast is ready to begin!"
"About time, I'm starving!" Xian exclaimed. "Tell the servants to start bringing the food in!"
Shifu, his students and Mr. Ping took their seats, and within minutes everyone was dining and engaging in pleasant conversation, the band playing sweet, slow paced music in the background.
"Mantis..." Anming whispered, her eyes wide with awe. "Is that tiger over there really the emperor?"
"Yup." Mantis nodded his head in response. Anming gasped.
"What on earth is he doing here?!" Anming stared at Mantis in disbelief. "And what on earth am I doing in his presence?!"
"It's okay, don't freak out." Mantis replied soothingly. "Just pretend he's just a lord or something."
"But he's the emperor!"
"Anming..." Mantis said before kissing her on the cheek. "Relax. It's nothing to do with you, so just sit back and enjoy the feast."
He gave her a reassuring smile. Anming flushed, smiled back, and returned to the tiny dumplings on her plate.
On the other side of Mantis, Monkey and Crane were still staring at Tigress in disbelief.
"Wow..." Monkey murmured with each breath. "I knew she wasn't exactly plain but... wow..."
"Who knew she could clean up so nicely?" Crane muttered.
"Hmph!" Viper gave the two men another dirty look before returning to her lavish meal, her parasol leaning against one chair leg. Crane turned to look at her.
"Are you alright, Viper?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing." Viper said casually, eyes narrowed and tail lashing slightly as she gazed down at her plate. "I just hope you boys aren't going to start fighting over her just because she's got a pretty dress."
"Huh? Oh no! Oh no, no!" Monkey frantically waved his hands in denial. "Never gonna happen! Firstly, she's not my type!"
"Or my species!" Crane butted in.
"If I ever get a girlfriend, it's gotta be a primate!"
"Same here!" Viper gave Crane a look. "Er- I mean a bird!"
"Oh good..." Viper replied and turned away from the two men.
Crane and Monkey both breathed a sigh of relief that they had just escaped embarrassment, but as or Viper, she gazed down at the edge of the table with a downcast expression.
I take it you're not much interested in snakes then, Crane, she thought sadly.
She didn't see Crane smack himself on the forehead with a silver spoon as he realized all too late what he had said.
Aw man! What the heck did I just say?! He moaned mentally. Aw man, you birdbrain, now she'll think that I'm unavailable!
Quietly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small silver collar decorated with a single circular amethyst slightly smaller than a dumpling. He gazed down at it sadly.
Dang it... you just had to blow it didn't you...
"Hey, whatcha got there?"
"Nothing!" Crane quickly whipped the purple gem out of sight before Po could see it. "Nothing illegal!"
Po gave Crane a confused look before turning back to Tigress, with whom he had just finished making conversation with about which technique would be best for taking out a dozen enemies at once (they had eventually settled on the Twelve-Armed-Anenome's-Stinging-Whip).
"So, what exactly happened to Shifu's butt?" He asked with a sly grin.
"That's strictly on a need to know!" Tigress whispered with a slight redness in her striped cheeks.
"Oh come on, you can tell me!"
"No, Po. He'll kill us both if he finds out I told you!"
"Tigress, don't worry. I promise I won't tell anyone else. Not even the other guys."
Tigress glanced at Shifu. The red panda was busy talking to Emperor Xian, so she turned back to Po.
"You see, Princess Haoxin was in the middle of making Shifu's outfit when something startled her." She whispered. "As a result, she ended up sticking a needle into Shifu's backside."
"Yowch!" Po stifled a laugh. "That must've hurt!"
"That wasn't the worst of it." Tigress was beginning to chuckle a little herself. "The needle went beneath the fabric, so Haoxin had to take Shifu's pants off and pull the needle out by hand."
At that, Po began laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. Everyone in the hall stared at him and the band stopped playing as he regained his balance and laughed sheepishly at the attention he had drawn to himself.
"Uhhh... sorry about that." He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Pretty funny joke. Carry on."
Shifu rolled his eyes as he and the others returned to eating and talking and the band resumed the music.
"So that's why he was lying half naked on Haoxin's lap!" He grinned at Shifu, who had his back to the panda. "Dang, that was-" He stopped talking when he realized that Tigress was grimacing.
"Tigress?" His eyes narrowed in concern.
"Huh?" She blinked.
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah!" Tigress shook her head and smirked unconvincingly. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
Po peered at Tigress.
"No, seriously. What is it?"
"I told you it's nothing." Tigress muttered, starting to look a little annoyed. "Eat your dinner. We still have five more courses to go."
"Alrighty!" Po's face lit up at once.
However, two courses later, Po looked up from his delicious meal to see Tigress staring down at her knees, her expression sour.
"Tigress?" He asked. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"Tigress, you're staring at your legs like you wanna chop them off. What's wrong?"
Tigress sighed as she realized that Po wasn't going to let it go this time.
"It's the kung fu masters." She muttered. "They keep staring at me."
Po looked up, and realized that a few of the masters seated around the table were indeed giving her looks. Not only that, they were occasionally whispering in each other's ears, clearly talking about her. Po raised his eyebrows at their odd behavior, then he gave them a look that said 'knock it off or I'm coming over there' before turning back to her.
"Just ignore them, Tigress." He said. "Three more courses and then the dance starts. Then you can head back to the barracks if you want."
"Okay..." Tigress took a deep breath, and Po could clearly see that the stares of the masters were upsetting her. "Okay... um, Po?"
"Yeah?"
"How am I doing as a lady?"
"You're doing great." Po smiled and put a paw on her shoulder. "You don't even need me to teach you how to act. You're doing fine."
"Oh, good. Thank you, Po." Po's heart leapt when she gave him a sincere smile before returning to her meal.
Meanwhile, a few chairs along, Mr. Ping and Di Tan were engaging in animated conversation about the potential of super-extra-stinky tofu on opposite sides of the table, talking so loudly that Shifu had to raise his voice so he could speak to Emperor Xian.
"By the way, your highness..." Shifu said. "You said earlier that you came here on important business! When would be a convenient time to discuss said business?"
Xian suddenly stopped smiling, and motioned Shifu to get up and come over. Shifu did so, passing the three chairs that separated him and the tiger, and hopped up onto the tip of his staff, perfectly balanced so that the emperor didn't have to bend down to far as he leaned in towards Shifu's ear.
"Tonight, after the feast, while everyone is dancing."
"There is an empty room to the right of the Hall of Warriors." Shifu said. "We can talk in there. Should I bring my students?"
"No, let them enjoy themselves. You can brief them tomorrow morning."
"Very well."
Xian straightened and put a smile back on his face when he saw a batch of servants approaching the table with new dishes.
"Oh my, six courses down and one more to go! My, how time flies!"
"Yes..." Shifu muttered as he returned to his seat.
Sooner rather than later, the final course came and went, and then everyone was getting up from the table and heading towards the other half of the hall, where the artifacts had been safely stored away and the floor was freshly polished. Within minutes, the dance, a new addition to the winter festival after they got rid of out of date tradition, was underway.
"Oh, Master Crane!" Haoxin excused herself as Zu Chunhua played with her son Zan and strode up to Crane, Monkey, Mantis and Anming who were standing in one corner of the hall. "Have you tried out your new hat, yet?"
"Er, no." Crane replied sheepishly. "I haven't got round to it, yet."
"Well, why don't you try it now?"
"What?" Crane looked nervously around at the guests filling the room. His gaze lingered on Mr. Ping and Di Tan, still engaged in food-related discussion. "Are you sure about that?"
"I don't mean in here, silly!" Haoxin laughed. "Why don't you go outside and throw it at a pillar or something?"
"Oh, okay..."
"Grandmamma!" Little Zan called.
"I'm coming, dear!" Haoxin called back. "If you'll excuse me..."
Crane felt uneasy as he and his friends stepped out of the hall and onto the paving separating the entrance and the top of the stairs.
"Right, so how exactly are you supposed to use this?" Monkey gestured to the metal rimmed hat the avian was wearing.
"Princess Haoxin said to throw it like a frisbee." Crane said as he took it off. He was surprised when he realized that it had almost no weight.
"Well, let's throw it at that pillar over there and see what it can do!" Mantis said, strangely smiling as Crane gulped.
"Be careful, Crane." Anming said worriedly as Crane turned towards the pillar Mantis was pointing at.
After a moment's hesitation, he threw.
Shwing!
The hat cut right through the pillar, leaving a thin pale ring where it had sliced clean through, then moved on through the pillar behind it... and the pillar behind it... and finally embedded itself eight inches into the fourth pillar along.
Crane's eyes bulged as he saw what he had done. His friends stood equally shocked.
"Wooooaaaah..." Monkey gaped in awe as he stepped forward and effortlessly pulled the hat free and handed it back to the stunned avian. "Do that again!"
"No, I shouldn't!" Crane said.
"Oh go on, that was so cool!" Mantis exclaimed.
"Guys, I don't think you realize that I have just damaged four pillars that support the Jade Palace!" Crane now looked absolutely terrified."Shifu's gonna kill us!"
The awed grins vanished from their faces.
"Oh crud..." Monkey whispered.
"Oh man..." Mantis was shaking.
"Where's the cement?" Anming asked.
BAM.
For a moment they thought it was Shifu bursting through the doors, and they jumped, terror briefly overcoming them. Another moment later, they realized that it was in fact Tigress, storming out the hall with a furious expression.
"Tigress!" Po followed her out a moment later.
"I'm sorry, Po, but I can't do this anymore!" She snapped and headed for the path leading to the student barracks.
"Tigress!"
Tigress ignored him, striding straight past the confused Crane and his friends without so much as a glance, up the path, eventually reaching the barracks. Po caught up with her and grabbed her arm just as she was heading through the door.
"Get off me, Po!" Tigress turned on him furiously.
"Tigress, calm down!" Po kept a firm grip on her arm, but not so hard so as to cause cause her pain. He didn't want her to leave, but he didn't want to hurt her either. "You're overreacting!'
"I knew coming to the feast was a mistake!" Tigress clenched her fists. "Those people have done nothing but stare at me ever since I came into the room!"
"Why is that such a big issue for you?" Po asked.
"Because they're probably thinking how ridiculous I look in this stupid dress!"
"Tigress, you don't know that. And please keep your voice to a minimum. You might wake up Su and Pong."
"You're right... I'm sorry..." Tigress took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Okay, let's start again." Po released his grip on her arm. "Tigress, you don't know that they're staring at you because you look ridiculous."
"Then why else would they be looking at me like that?" Tigress demanded. "They've never done it before, so why would they start now? Because I'm wearing a dress, that's why."
Po didn't reply right away.
"Tigress, I think you might be getting the wrong idea." He said. "I don't they're staring at you because the dress makes you look stupid."
"Is it because the dress makes me look fat?" Tigress asked. Po smirked a little as he realized that she was joking. That was good. It meant that she was starting to feel a little better.
"No..." Po said. "I think it's because the dress makes you look..." Suddenly Po cut off mid-sentence. The blood rushed to his cheeks, and he began twiddling his thumbs again.
"B-because..." He stammered. "It m-makes you l-look..."
"Awesome?" Tigress gave him a half-smile.
"Well, t-that too..." Po replied. "But that's n-n-not what I was gonna s-say..."
"Well spit it out. I'm a little tired." Tigress turned back towards the barrack doors.
"It m-makes you look..." Po shut his eyes. "Beautiful."
When he opened his eyes again, Tigress had frozen. Her back was to him, so he couldn't see her expression. One paw was resting on the doorframe.
"T-Tigress?" He asked tentatively.
She didn't answer. He started to get worried.
"Tigress, I'm just saying what I think is the reason those guys were staring at you." He said, instinctively taking a step backwards. "Not that I don't think you're pretty, uh..." He gulped when Tigress turned back to face him, her eyes wide with surprise.
He closed his eyes.
"Go ahead." He said.
"You..." Tigress whispered. "You think I'm pretty?"
Having had been expecting a slap, Po opened his eyes in surprise.
"Uh... yeah." He said. "I mean, who wouldn't?"
"Well... some people wouldn't..." Tigress looked away. "I should get some sleep."
"Wait, what about the dance?" Po said. "Don't you want to go back for that?"
"No. Like I said, I'm pretty tired." Tigress stepped towards the door. "Besides, I can't dance."
"Wait!" Po lashed out and grabbed her paw. He didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was because he didn't want her to be alone while everyone else were enjoying themselves. Or maybe it was because he thought he saw tears welling up in her golden eyes. "How about a drink."
"Huh?" Tigress looked at him in confusion.
"Why don't we have some tea before you head to bed. In the kitchen. My treat. I can't really dance either."
"Uhhh..." Tigress paused. Then she gave him a tiny smile. "Sure. Why not?"