Author's note: in order to comply with the site's guidelines, the full adult version of this chapter will be avaible on my Tumblr
post/62821255128/chap-9-we-are-all-stars-in-t he-freak-show
"Thing is, we don't have to decide anything now. The circus is staying here and I am too, so the question is: will you stay with me?"
She extends her hand toward him in invitation and waits.
The warm wind licks between her empty fingers and she's never been more aware of the weight of her own hand.
"I barely know you. I don't have any reason to trust you," he says.
"Quite right."
Her hand stays up in the air, insistent, persistent.
It's a leap of faith when his crosses the gap between them. Their palms connect and their fingers intertwine, feeling whole again.
"You will be my downfall, Rose Tyler."
She swallows with some difficulty but pushes a smile back on her face.
"Don't be so dramatic and just kiss me."
With a chuckle, he encompasses her waist and brings their bodies nearer until their lips touch, until their mouths open, until they're breathing each other.
There's a flutter in her chest, like a dove soaring, a laughter breaking free. She's giddy with relief. He rests his forehead against hers and he laughs too at this incredible turn of events in their lives. He thinks it's fitting that she works for a circus, given that he feels like he's on a roller coaster ever since he met her.
He kisses her again, because he can. A few steps backwards and she feels the metal of her trailer against her back, their still linked hands rest above her head and almost automatically her leg hitches over his hip. His lips leave her mouth to explore the naked shoulder that caught his eyes earlier, worshipping the small but oh so enticing expanse of skin. He stretches the neck of her shirt wider, almost ripping it, in his quest for more skin to taste.
She feels a familiar spark igniting, heat traveling through her whole body as though her blood has turned to gunpowder.
"Inside," she mumbles against his neck.
Their heads settle on the same pillow. With the tip of her finger, she traces his features, moving his hair away from his damp forehead, erasing his frown, sliding down his nose, connecting his freckles. They're different his freckles, more pronounced and scattered differently. The more time she spends with him the less she sees the Doctor. She traces the edge between his beard and his cheek, feeling the dual sensation.
"I should shave."
"Absolutely not."
"Oi, woman already trying to be the boss of me?" he laughs.
"I'd like to see someone try to be the boss of you," Rose replies cheekily.
As they are about to doze off in post-coital bliss, they are disturbed by someone knocking at the door.
"Go away," Alec shouts.
She slaps him playfully.
"You're so rude."
"... Rose, you alright?"
Rose and Alec look at each other in surprise.
"Is that John?"
She extricates herself from Alec just enough to look out the side window. It is indeed John Smith, standing outside in the setting sun, looking nervous. She waves before slipping on underwear and Alec's blue pinstripe shirt which is long enough to cover her bum and part of her thighs. When she opens the door he looks slightly embarrassed when he sees her outfit or lack thereof. She smiles uneasily, tugging on the hem of the shirt. It feels like an eternity since she last saw him.
"I'm sorry, is this a bad moment, d'you have company?"
He tries to subtly look over her shoulder.
"No, well yeah, maybe a little, but s'fine."
He buries his hands in his pockets and clears his throat, trying to keep his eyes on her face.
"I came by to check on you and see if Hardy talked to you."
"Yeah, yeah, he explained everything," she smiles with her lips pressed.
She appreciates their concern and their help but she doesn't want to cause them any trouble.
"Ok good, and he wasn't rude, was he? I don't know why he insisted on talking to you alone. He can be a dick sometimes."
"Is that what you think, Smith?"
Alec appears in the doorframe, wearing only his trousers and a smug look on his face. He puts an arm around Rose's waist but she disentangles herself, not a fan of this kind of territorial pissing.
"That explains a lot," John replies, averting their gaze, "I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone, eh?"
He turns on his heels and starts walking away.
"Wait, John, I'll see you soon, alright?"
He just waves without looking back at her. She rocks on her heels, if she weren't half-naked she'd run after him. Rose tries to reason with herself that she shouldn't feel bad but she does nonetheless. She fidgets with the sleeves covering her hands. She looks over at Alec who shrugs. Seeing her dejected face, he inquires about their relationship and she's a bit lost for word.
"There's nothing going on really. I just like him... and I think he needs someone."
I need someone too, a childish, pouting part of him says.
"Plus he helped me out twice," Rose continues, "the first day at the crime scene, where you told me to sod off, by the way," she sticks her tongue out at him and he pretends to try to catch it, "and after that when Aaron attacked me."
"Did you ever see him again, Aaron?"
"Nope, he vanished. Even his partner doesn't know where he is."
He doesn't ask more questions, he couldn't care less about work right now.
Alec puts an arm around her shoulders and guides Rose back inside.
"Don't worry, luv."
Easier said than done.
All of this, the investigation and U.N.I.T. getting involved, is making her increasingly apprehensive. She'd tried to suppress the anxiety, she wouldn't even think about it at first but it's getting harder to ignore. In her mind's eyes she sees it like that scribble creature that attacked her in 2012, all knotted and twisted and black in the pit of her stomach, agitated and bouncing off her abdomen walls. It's going to take more than a pencil eraser to get rid of it. In fact, it seems that sooner or later running away will be the only option. Most likely sooner rather than later.
She sighs deeply.
"You hungry?" she asks in an attempt to distract herself.
They share leftover pizza and lager as well as a shower before going back to bed. There's no point in pretending either of them wants to leave this place and spend one minute out of each other's arms.
Rose is woken up later by two drunken carnies passing by. Their slurred conversation breaking the peace of the night.
"You awake?" Alec murmurs.
He feels her nod against his chest. As her eyes get used to the darkness, she can make out his silhouette in the dark. She sinks further into his embrace despite the warm night making their entangled limbs damp. She nuzzles the crook of his neck like a cat seeking affection. When he runs his hand through her hair she sighs contently. In the darkness of the night, in the safety of the bed sheets, it's easy to believe they're happy.
The roof vent above their head is opened and the full moon fits right in. Rose closes one of her eyes and raises her thumb to hide it the way she used to do as a child.
"This reminds me of when I was a lad. I sort of fancied myself an explorer," Alec's voice his hoarse with sleep but she can hear the smile in it, "when I got my first car, I'd go out of town every week end, by myself with my tent and backpack. And this one time, about two hours north of Glasgow, I found an old abandoned estate, like a Victorian manor in ruins. Anyway, it was a full moon too and I managed to get on the roof, almost broke my neck a few times, I was bampot that way. The moon was really bright, and big, bigger than I ever saw it, but then I started hearing wolves howling not too far off and it just freaked me out and I got the hell out of there... Good grief, I hadn't thought about that in years."
She entertains the thought that it was the Torchwood Estate he was at and maybe through some weird pandimensional destiny thing he was there on the same date.
"I went to Scotland once," Rose says, eager to share something with him too.
"Really, when?"
1879.
"A couple years ago, I think. We wanted to see this concert but we got lost, of course, and ended up in the middle of nowhere, in the highlands somewhere... timorous beastie, they called me."
"Sounds about right... So, you remember some things from your past, then?"
"It comes and goes," she replies.
His question brings back to her mind everything she keeps from him. How careful she has to be, always watching what she says, always keeping part of herself hidden. She wonders if it's a blessing or a curse. She could be a whole new person, get a second chance and a new beginning. But it would always be in the back of her mind, like dragging a ball and chain everywhere she goes, every time she's with him.
She feels panic rising in her chest, her heart constricting, each breath too shallow to fill her lungs. The scribble creature expanding.
All the lies.
Among which the fact that she is indeed the killer.
Author's not: So who had guessed?