Hah! How's that for a speedy update? And a looong chapter, too.
Anyway, you guys have been wanting the ladies to show up on the island since forever. So. Because we're awesome and we listen to our readers, there is now a poll on our profile about the gals. Go and vote. :)
10. Are You Normal?
Percy watched as Ash's figure sailed across the sky and landed somewhere in the waters. What time was it? He squinted, straining to see where Ash had landed. He was sure he saw pieces of floating debris. He hoped Ash wouldn't hit his head on one of them.
"You think he's going to be okay?" Percy leaned down and asked Tracy worriedly. "What? You think he said he's going to kill me?" Percy's eyes widened. "But no…he wouldn't...Thanks for your concern, Tracy, but I'll be fine."
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, JACKSON! The voice sounded far away, but too close all the same.
"Maybe not," Percy said, cocking his head. "Come on, Tracy, let's go find Shelly."
"Going somewhere, Fish Boy?"
Percy froze.
"You don't get to unleash a massive wave to wake me up" Jace said the words sarcastically, "and then go riding on an overgrown dolphin to look for a stinkin' crab."
Overgrown dolphin? thought Tracy, outraged. Why, I never!
"Well, look, now you've upset Tracy," groaned Percy. "You know how hard it is to calm a blue whale?"
"No, I do not, nor do I care!" Jace said, standing mere inches away from Percy.
Percy gasped. He quickly patted Tracy's head as if trying to cover her ears...If she had ears. "He didn't mean that, Tracy."
I think he did Tracy replied, seething. Shall I blast him as well?
Percy looked at Jace who was taking out his stele. "No, I don't want Jace to kill me too."
As you wish, Tracy said, still unhappy. But I would like for him to do me one favor.
"A favor? Jace?" Percy whispered, making sure that Jace couldn't hear him. "What favor?"
Well, he is quite good looking and I've been feeling so lonely lately, so -
"I don't think I like where this is going," said Percy quickly, a little too loudly. Jace scowled at him, misunderstanding.
"Ya think? Finally caught on, have you?" Jace looked absolutely murderous. Below, Morgead was only just beginning to climb Tracy's flipper - he had gotten distracted by what he thought was a mermaid, but that's beside the point. When he finally reached the top, he placed a hand on Jace's shoulder.
"Calm down, Jace. You can't blame Percy for being...well, Percy."
"I sure as hell can!" Jace shoved Morgead's hand off his shoulder and took a step toward Percy when Ash climbed onto Tracy, followed shortly by Nico and Peeta.
"Hold it!" Ash yelled. "Fish Boy's MINE."
"Oh no," Jace growled, turning around to face Ash. "I got here first. He's mine." He enunciated each word clearly.
Ash stood breathlessly on the other side of Tracy, his hair still dripping wet, his eyes fixed on Percy with a lethal expression. Percy flinched and stepped back a little.
"Incorrect. I got here first. Isn't that right, Fish Boy?" Ash said in a dangerously low voice.
Peeta, Nico and Morgead looked back and forth between Ash and Jace. "Umm…" Nico said hesitantly, "Guys..." He glanced at Percy, who seemed to be murmuring something to the whale. "I don't think –"
"SHELLY!" Nico was interrupted by Percy's triumphant scream. "There you are! Tracy and I were just about to look for you!" he said, holding Shelly up. "Now we've found you, Tracy can go home now. Isn't that right, Tracy?"
But you didn't tell the hot one about my favor yet, Tracy said unhappily.
"It's all right, Tracy. Don't you miss home?"
Tracy considered. Okay. But don't forget to give him my number.
As Tracy began to dive down into the sea, Percy finally turned to look at the rest of the boys, "Look, I found –" He stopped abruptly as he and his five fellow islanders sank underwater.
A few hours later, Nico, Peeta, Jace, Ash, and Morgead stood dripping wet on the newly resurfaced sea shore of the island, each one of them ready to commit a first degree murder – except Peeta who was still busy trying to disentangle himself from the seaweed. They had all almost drowned, thanks to Percy telling Tracy to go home, leaving them with no solid ground to stand on.
Percy emerged from the sea seconds later, riding on what looked like a huge seahorse with a silvery fish body, glistening scales and rainbow-colored tail-fins. Hippocampi, Percy had called them. He had summoned six of them to give the boys (NO, MEN!) rides.
"Thanks, Patrick, I don't know what would've happened without you and your gang," he said, patting the Hippocampus on the head softly. "See you around!"
Percy faced his fellow islanders, who were all sopping wet and had bits of seashells and tiny fish in their hair. Percy, however, was perfectly dry, and not even a single hair was out of place. This annoyed the others so much they were almost falling over each other, seeing who could kill the son of Poseidon first.
Percy gulped, holding Shelly close to him. "What's up, guys?"
"What's up, guys? That's all you can say?" Nico demanded. "After you almost drown us?"
"Umm... yes?" Percy answered.
"That's it!" Ash yelled, "We're going to teach you a lesson right here, right now!" He and the other four boys cracked their knuckles.
"Heh…heh," Percy laughed nervously, backing away from them. Shelly pinched his hand, "Ouch! Not you too..." Percy moaned. Shelly waved her claws around as if trying to tell Percy something.
"What's that? Oh right! How did we forget him? You're absolutely right," Percy mumbled to Shelly.
He faced the five who were dangerously closing in on him. "Before you guys rip my heart out, may I just ask where Jesse is?"
Jace, Ash, Morgead, Peeta and Nico all stopped uttering their various threats toward Percy and stared blankly around them, noticing for the first time the absence of the Spanish cowboy's reassuring presence.
"Jesse?" Morgead called, peering into the sea as if Jesse were hiding there.
"Percy..." gasped Peeta, "You...you killed Jesse..."
"W-what? No I didn't!" Percy stammered, his face paling. "He's just hiding...Jesse? JESSE!"
"Baker Boy's right," said Ash, for once not looking bored or skeptical. "Cowboys can't swim. Your wave killed him."
Morgead's eyes widened. "Noooooooooo! Jesse! He was one of the normal ones!"
"Normal ones?" Peeta said, stupefied. "But we're normal!" He turned to Jace, who wasn't paying much attention to Jesse's disappearance, but wondering how in all possible Dimensions the island had survived the humongous wave.
"Are you normal?" Peeta asked tentatively.
"Of course I'm not normal," Jace said. "I'm amazing."
"Do you have to do that?" Ash said, looking serious with his icy gray eyes. "Can't you see how serious this is? Percy killed Cowboy Dude."
"I didn't!" Percy shouted. "I swear I didn't!"
Morgead wasn't convinced. "You killed Jesse! You're trying to crush the Normals with your insanity!"
Percy looked shell-shocked. "But I...I…" he stammered.
"There, there," Nico said. Not knowing what to do, he settled with attempting to give Percy a friendly pat on the back.
Percy jumped.
"Nooo! Don't touch me!" Percy yelled, running away from Nico. "Your touch burns!"
Nico looked at his hand then back at Percy again. "Okay...definitely insane."
Peeta was still unconvinced. "We're normal! I'm normal; you're normal, we're all normal!"
Jace shook his head. "I already told you I'm not. I'm extraordinary."
Percy tried again, "Look, I didn't kill Jesse okay? Nico, you can feel if people are dead or not right?"
Nico nodded. "I can feel their aura and if they are in the Underworld or not."
"Then check for Jesse's aura."
Nico closed his eyes.
"Well?" Ash demanded after a solid minute. "Have you sensed a disturbance in the Force?" Nico didn't respond, but held out a finger, gesturing for everybody to be quiet.
"I am normal," Peeta mumbled to himself. "I am normal! We're all normal. Nobody can't not be normal, or else it wouldn't be normal because we're normal –"
"Shut up," Jace said, smacking the other boy's head.
"Are you normal?"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm amazing. I was born amazing."
"But…you're not normal?"
"Nope. I'm better than normal."
"You're not normal?"
"Oh, for the Angel's sake –"
"Am I normal then?"
"No, you're not," Ash, who had been assiduously trying to ignore both of them, interrupted. "You're insane. There, are you happy?"
"I'm not normal?" Peeta cried, raising his voice an octave higher. "I'm not normal?"
"Shouldn't have done that, bro," Jace told Ash.
"All of you shut the hell up!" Morgead shouted. He and Percy seemed to be the only ones who were genuinely worried about Jesse's disappearance and were staring at Nico intently the whole time.
Nico opened his eyes.
"I've got something." He announced ceremoniously… And then he proceeded to rub his eye.
"Well?" Percy and Morgead demanded.
"What?" said Nico, still rubbing his eye.
"You said you got something!" Morgead all but screamed. He couldn't lose Jesse...not Jesse...nice and normal Jesse...completely sane Jesse...
"Oh yeah," said Nico. "I got something, all right. An eyelash stuck in my friggin' eye."
Morgead almost slapped him.
"This is getting hopeless," Morgead said, still angry at Nico. "And Dead Boy here isn't helping one bit!"
"What?" Nico said defensively. "My eye was itchin' okay? And I can't work my powers when my eye is itchin'!"
Percy finally lost it, "Jesse's life is at stake here! So shut up and find him already or I'll... I'll... poke your eye!"
Nico's jaw dropped. It was as if Percy had threatened to shave Nico's hair off, bake it into a cake and force-feed it to him.
"What?" he asked, not very calmly.
"Find Jesse or I'll poke your eye!" Percy repeated with more conviction.
"You...You can't do that," Nico said, stepping back and covering his eyes.
"Then find Jesse!" Percy shouted, though his voice was trembling and so were his hands. "Prove that he's not dead!" Morgead was standing behind Percy, nodding vigorously.
"This is getting ridiculous," Ash commented.
"So I've noticed," muttered Jace, eyeing Peeta, who was still trying to convince himself that "Everyone is normal."
"Are you going to find Jesse or not?" Percy demanded of Nico.
Peeta stopped mumbling and said brightly, "Oh hey...look, guys, it's Jesse!"
"WHERE?" Percy and Morgead spun around to look where Peeta was pointing.
Jesse stood there, dripping in seawater. His sleek black hair was plastered to his head, so he ran his tanned fingers through it. Somewhere in the safety of their rooms, the girls writing this story let out a collective sigh of longing. "Well, it's nice to see you all alive and well," Jesse said, while taking off a boot and turning it upside down, tipping out the water.
"JESSE!" Percy ran over to him and gave him a bear-crushing hug. "I knew you were alive! I knew it!"
Jesse patted Percy's back, stunned, but confident enough in his sexuality to hug Percy back. "No worries, my friend. No harm was done to me." Percy released him and turned to the others, "See! I told you that I didn't kill him."
Morgead, who didn't want to embarrass himself, shook Jesse's hand and gave him a manly pat on the back. "Welcome back, dude."
"Jesse!" Peeta shouted with delight. "You're normal!" He pushed Morgead aside and hugged the Spaniard as well.
"Yes, I'm…normal," Jesse agreed, pretending to understand what sort of bizarre terminology the Baker had come up with.
"Good to see you, Cowboy," Ash said with a brief nod towards Jesse's direction.
"Where have you been?" Jace questioned.
"Can't you see? Jesse escaped from the claws of death and came back to us…because he's a manly dude," Percy explained, gesturing with his arms. "OW! Okay! And you too, Shelly! The bravest crab alive..."
"O-kay," Jesse said, "Actually, it was nothing; I hid in my Cowboy pocket when the wave hit."
Peeta's eyes widened. "How did you do that?"
"A magician never reveals his tricks," Jesse smiled. "I'm sure you can understand that."
Peeta nodded, fascinated with Jesse's words. "You are so normal."
Jace had to clench his fists to stop himself punching the baker.
"Oh, Peeta, before I forget," said Jesse, still smiling, "Look what I found while I was in my pocket." The cowboy reached elbow-deep into his pockets (nobody commented on this) and pulled out...a white apron.
"HOLY #$%&$ $#%&!" All six men jumped out of their skins at Peeta's impressive display of 'sailor language'. Jace looked like he couldn't be prouder of Peeta, whom he had assumed was a hopeless case. Peeta took no notice of his friends' incredulous faces as he hugged his precious apron tightly to his chest and murmured, "Ohhh, Apron, never leave me again."
"This is a beautiful moment," Percy whispered. Shelly agreed, covering her eyes with her claws so that none of the guys could see her crabby tears.
"Uh..." Nico said, "Okay." He looked around, noticing for the first time...
"Guys," he said, "where's Morgead?"
Before anyone could reply, Morgead appeared from behind a tree, seeming to zip up his fly. He stopped mid-step when he noticed all eyes on him.
"What?" he snapped, trying to hide his embarrassment.
Nico, Ash, Jace, Peeta, Percy and Jesse quickly turned away, and Percy said, just a little too loudly, "NICE WEATHER, EH?"
Aw, poor Morgy. Vampires need to do their business too...um, I think.
Review if you're human!
This chapter was written by...bah, you already know.