Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I'm just borrowing it. I also don't know how everything in JK Rowling's world works, so if anything is wrong, it's probably because I forgot/missed it.

This chapter is, well, certainly not light and fun. People discover Skazzy's secret.

I'd like to know how I've done, and whether people like what I'm doing, or if they don't like it, what they don't like about, so please review. This chapter was supposed to go up until Christmas day and getting presents, but it decided that it was ending early.

Skazzy didn't have a very clear idea of how they had managed to get back into the Honeydukes cellar, through the tunnel, and into the castle once more. All she knew was that the return trip seemed to take no time at all, and that she hardly noticed what she and her brother were doing, because she was still trying to wrap her head around what she had just heard.

"Why did nobody ever tell us? Dumbledore, Hagrid, Mr. Weasley, Fudge... why didn't anyone ever mention this to us?" Harry asked, anger surging through his words. Skazzy didn't know what to say.

If it weren't for Black she'd be dead.

But if it weren't for Black, she'd have parents.

She was stuck in a loop, breaking off from Harry to go to her common room. She needed sleep. She needed to not remember. She needed dreamless sleep potion.

If it weren't for Black she'd be dead but if it weren't for Black she'd have parents.

She didn't even notice that she finished her entire supply of dreamless sleep potion, having had far more than she meant. She managed to get to her bed before blacking out.

The potion didn't work this time. Not properly.

It never would again.

Sirius was in a cave in the Forbidden Forest, waiting on the cat to bring some food. He closed his eyes and had a bit of a nap. When he woke up, the cat wasn't the one in the cave. There was a student on the ground, passed out. He was glad he had stayed in his animagus form. He crept nearer to the student, before morphing into his human form when he saw who it was.

"Phoenix! Phoenix, wake up!" he whispered, shaking the girl. She didn't move, didn't open her eyes. "Dammit kid, come on. Please, don't have been kissed by a Dementor. Please."

She didn't respond to his desperate pleas. He felt for a pulse, and relaxed a tiny bit. She wasn't dead. She wasn't staring blankly at a wall. Maybe she was fine.

But why was she outside? It was dark out, and it was the last night of term. She shouldn't be out, didn't she know it was dangerous? He rested a hand on her forehead, before cursing. Phoenix seemed to have a fever. Why was she out here if she was sick?

After a few hours of not moving, she seemed to wake up.

"Thank Merlin, kid, you had me worried," Sirius said, relief in his voice. Phoenix didn't appear to have heard him. He frowned. "Phoenix?"

She was shaking, and her eyes were staring off into the distance.

"Phoenix?" Sirius was worried. "Phoenix, you alright? Come on kid."

"More..." she started.

"More what, more what?" Sirius asked, relieved that she hadn't lost her soul.

"Potion."

She did not just say that. She was twelve, she shouldn't be taking any potions on her own that would leave her like this. And he couldn't imagine Madam Pomfrey allowing one of the people in her charge to leave the hospital wing, especially not like this.

"What potion?" Sirius asked, hoping she was at least aware enough to answer the question. "Come on kid, what did you take?"

"No dreams," she said, shaking violently. "No more dreams."

"Dreamless sleep potion? Is that what you took? How much?" Sirius asked, getting a handful of snow, tearing a piece of his shirt off and soaking it in the snow and placing it over Phoenix's head.

"No dreams. Not ever. Need more."

Sirius looked up for the cat, in case it had come in at some point. He cursed again. Phoenix Potter needed to go to the Hospital Wing. How the hell was he going to get her there? He couldn't leave her, and if he went out he was risking both Phoenix and his souls. If the cat was here, he could get it to bring someone out here. It was smart enough to know Peter was bad news, so it would be smart enough to make someone follow it. Damn. Damn.

The only thing he could do was watch, and try and keep her comfortable.

"Come on Phoenix, you can't die now."

Back in the castle, one boy was having murderous thoughts. Three girls had not said anything about their missing roommate. A cat waited outside of a boys' dorm room, tail twitching. A man disguised as a rat had a fitful sleep.

It was going to be a long night.

Sirius was getting frantic. He kept checking for the cat, and watching Phoenix, all while looking out for Dementors.

Phoenix hadn't actually woken up at all. She would stop sleeping, but would just mutter about something called it and needing more potion. Begging for more potion. Would he be able to get to the castle with her? He was still weak, and hadn't been using a wand much, and he didn't think he'd be able to protect her against everything in the Forest.

Damn. Damn. Damn Pettigrew. Damn Voldemort. Damn James for listening to him and not Lily.

Damn.

Inside of the castle, most of the population was gone. Two friends argued with another friend. One Slytherin reveled in being the only one in his house. Two Ravenclaw first years started their homework in the library. A professor received bad news. Another professor wondered where everything had gone wrong. A third wished he hadn't lost his best friend. A kitten meowed, trying to find someone to play with it before giving up and curling up in front of a fire. Why had she been left there alone?

Nobody noticed a missing Hufflepuff.

Harry was annoyed with his friends. He hadn't gotten enough sleep, and they were teaming up against him. He wished that he was with Skazzy, alone in her dorm instead of here with his friends. She was probably having some nice peace and quiet without two well meaning people who just didn't understand.

"You really don't look well, you know," Hermione was saying, peering anxiously into his face.

"I'm fine," said Harry, scowling at Hermione.

"Harry, listen," said Hermione, exchanging a look with Ron, "you must be really upset about what we heard yesterday. But the thing is, you mustn't go doing anything stupid."

"Like what?" said Harry.

"Like trying to go after Black," said Ron sharply.

Harry could tell they had rehearsed this conversation while he had been asleep. He didn't say anything. He would just wait for them to finish.

"You won't, will you, Harry?" asked Hermione anxiously. She was clasping and unclasping her hands.

"Because Black's not worth dying for," said Ron. Harry looked at them. They didn't seem to understand at all. It was times like this when Harry understood why Skazzy was often annoyed with them, and wondered why they weren't the same as the two Potters. How could they go through first year and second year with him and not be more...jaded. He sighed, there was no way to get around this.

"D'you know what I see and hear every time a Dementor gets too near me?" Ron and Hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. "I can hear my mum screaming and pleading with Voldemort. And if you'd heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn't forget it in a hurry. And if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent Voldemort after her..."

"There's nothing you can do!" said Hermione, looking stricken. "The Dementors will catch Black and he'll go back to Azkaban and, and serve him right!"

"You heard what Fudge said. Black isn't affected by Azkaban like normal people are. It's not a punishment for him like it is for the others," Harry shot back.

"So what are you saying?" said Ron, looking very tense. "You want to, what, kill Black or something?"

"Don't be silly," said Hermione in a panicky voice. "Harry doesn't want to kill anyone, do you, Harry?"

Again, Harry didn't answer. He didn't know what he wanted to do. He knew what his sister would probably want to do. But all he knew was that the idea of doing nothing, while Black was at liberty, was more than he could stand.

"Malfoy knows," he said, changing gears. "Remember what he said to me in Potions? 'If it was me, I'd hunt him down myself... I'd want revenge.'"

"You're going to take Malfoy's advice instead of ours?" said Ron furiously. "Listen... you know what Pettigrew's mother got back after Black had finished with him? Do you? Dad told me. She got the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Pettigrew's finger in a box. That was the biggest bit of him they could find. A finger. Black's a madman, Harry, and he's dangerous..."

"Malfoy's dad must have told him," said Harry, ignoring Ron. "He was right in Voldemort's inner circle so obviously, the Malfoys knew Black was working for Voldemort..."

"...and Malfoy'd love to see you blown into about a million pieces, just like Black did to Pettigrew! Get a grip. Malfoy's just hoping you'll get yourself killed before he has to play you at quidditch," Ron said, trying not to lose his temper while also making Harry see reason.

"Harry, please," said Hermione, her eyes now shining with tears, "Please be sensible. Black did a terrible, terrible thing, but d-don't put yourself in danger, it's what Black wants... Oh, Harry, you'd be playing right into Black's hands if you went looking for him. Your mum and dad wouldn't want you to get hurt, would they? They'd never want you to go looking for Black! And what about Skazzy?"

"I'll never know what my parents would have wanted, because thanks to Black, I've never spoken to them. And Skazzy would do what ever I decided," said Harry shortly. Sometimes, he felt that he should be more concerned that his sister was more likely to just do what he said, but not right now. Now he was glad there was one person who would agree with him. Skazzy had always been just a tad more bloodthirsty.

There was a silence in which Crookshanks stretched, flexing his claws before finding a new position to curl up in front of the fire. Ron's pocket quivered.

"Look," said Ron, obviously casting around for a change of subject, "it's the holidays! It's nearly Christmas! Let's, uh, let's go down and see Hagrid. We haven't visited him for ages!"

"No!" said Hermione quickly. "Harry isn't supposed to leave the castle, Ron!"

"Yeah, let's go," said Harry, sitting up, "and I can ask him how come he never mentioned Black when he told me all about my parents!"

Further discussion of Sirius Black plainly wasn't what Ron had had in mind. "Or you know, we could have a game of chess," he said hastily, "or Gobstones. Percy left a set..."

"You and Hermione can play. I'm going to visit Hagrid," said Harry firmly. "On my own or not."

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks, but went to get their cloaks from their dormitories and set off through the portrait hole, down through the empty castle and out through the oak front doors.

They made their way slowly down the lawn, making a shallow trench in the glittering, powdery snow, their socks and the hems of their cloaks soaked and freezing. There was a bigger trench that was clearly Hagrid walking to the castle and back. The Forbidden Forest looked as though it had been enchanted, each tree smattered with silver, and Hagrid's cabin looked like an iced cake.

Ron knocked, but there was no answer.

"He's not out, is he?" said Hermione, who was shivering under her cloak. "Who would be out in this weather?"

Ron had his ear to the door, frowning.

"There's a weird noise," he said. "Hold on, listen. Is that Fang?"

Harry and Hermione put their ears to the door too. From inside the cabin came a series of low, throbbing moans.

"Think we'd better go and get someone?" said Ron nervously.

"Hagrid!" called Harry, thumping the door ignoring Ron's suggestion. "Hagrid, are you in there?"

There was a sound of heavy footsteps, then the door creaked open. Hagrid stood there with his eyes red and swollen, tears splashing down the front of his leather vest.

"You've heard?" he bellowed, and he flung himself onto Harry's neck.

Hagrid being at least twice the size of a normal man, this was no laughing matter. Harry, about to collapse under Hagrid's weight, was rescued by Ron and Hermione, who each seized Hagrid under an arm and heaved him back into the cabin. Hagrid allowed himself to be steered into a chair and slumped over the table, sobbing uncontrollably, his face glazed with tears that dripped down into his tangled beard.

"Hagrid, what is it?" said Hermione, aghast. Harry spotted an official-looking letter lying open on the table.

"What's this, Hagrid?" Harry asked. Hagrid's sobs redoubled, but he shoved the letter toward Harry, who picked it up and read aloud.

'Dear Mr. Hagrid,

Further to our inquiry into the attack by a Hippogriff on a student in your class, we have accepted the assurances of Professor Dumbledore that you bear no responsibility for the regrettable incident.'

"Well, that's okay then, Hagrid!" Ron interrupted. "Malfoy hasn't got you fired." Ron clapped Hagrid on the shoulder. But Hagrid continued to sob, and waved one of his gigantic hands, inviting Harry to read on.

'However, we must register our concern about the Hippogriff in question. We have decided to uphold the official complaint of Mr. Lucius Malfoy, and this matter will therefore be taken to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. The hearing will take place on April 20th, and we ask you to present yourself and your Hippogriff at the Committee's offices in London on that date. In the meantime, the Hippogriff should be kept tethered and isolated.

Yours in fellowship...'

There was silence after Harry trailed off.

"Oh," said Ron finally. "But you said Buckbeak isn't a bad Hippogriff, Hagrid. I bet he'll get off."

"Yeh don' know them gargoyles at the Committee fer the Disposal o' Dangerous Creatures!" choked Hagrid, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "They've got it in fer interestin' creatures!"

A sudden sound from the corner of Hagrid's cabin made Harry, Ron, and Hermione whip around. Buckbeak the Hippogriff was lying in the corner, chomping on something that was oozing blood all over the floor. Hermione winced.

"I couldn' leave him tied up out there in the snow!" choked Hagrid. "All on his own! At Christmas."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another. They had never seen eye to eye with Hagrid about what he called 'interesting creatures' and other people called 'terrifying monsters.' On the other hand, there didn't seem to be any particular harm in Buckbeak. In fact, by Hagrid's usual standards, he was positively cute.

"You'll have to put up a good strong defense, Hagrid," said Hermione, sitting down and laying a hand on Hagrid's massive forearm. "I'm sure you can prove Buckbeak is safe."

"Won' make no diff'rence!" sobbed Hagrid. "Them Disposal devils, they're all in Lucius Malfoy's pocket! Scared o' him! Ad if I lose the case, Buckbeak..."

Hagrid drew his finger swiftly across his throat, then gave a great wail and lurched forward, his face in his arms.

"What about Dumbledore, Hagrid?" said Harry.

"He's done more'n enough fer me already," groaned Hagrid. "Got enough on his plate what with keepin' them Dementors outta the castle, an' Sirius Black lurkin' around."

Ron and Hermione looked quickly at Harry, as though expecting him to start berating Hagrid for not telling him the truth about Black. But Harry couldn't bring himself to do it, not now that he saw Hagrid so miserable and scared. He had waited this long for an answer, he could wait a little longer.

"Listen, Hagrid," he said, "you can't give up. Hermione's right, you just need a good defense. You can call us as witnesses."

"I'm sure I've read about a case of Hippogriff-baiting," said Hermione thoughtfully, "where the Hippogriff got off. I'll look it up for you, Hagrid, and see exactly what happened."

Hagrid howled still more loudly. Harry and Hermione looked at Ron to help them. "Er, I can make a cup of tea?" said Ron. Harry stared at him. "It's what my mum does whenever someone's upset," Ron muttered defensively.

At last, after many more assurances of help, with a steaming mug of tea in front of him, Hagrid blew his nose on a handkerchief the size of a tablecloth and said, "Yer right. I can' afford to go ter pieces. Gotta pull meself together..."

Fang the boar hound came timidly out from under the table and laid his head on Hagrid's knee.

"I've not bin meself lately," said Hagrid, stroking Fang with one hand and mopping his face with the other. "Worried abou' Buckbeak, an' no one likin' me classes..."

"We do like them!" lied Hermione at once.

"Yeah, they're great!" said Ron, crossing his fingers under the table. "Er, how are the flobberworms?"

"Dead," said Hagrid gloomily. "Too much lettuce."

"Oh no!" said Ron, his lip twitching as he tried to hide a smile.

"An' them Dementors make me feel ruddy terrible an' all," said Hagrid, with a sudden shudder. "Gotta walk past 'em ev'ry time I want a drink in the Three Broomsticks. 'S like bein' back in Azkaban all over again."

He fell silent, gulping his tea. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched him breathlessly. They had never heard Hagrid talk about his brief spell in Azkaban the year before. He seemed determined to not admit it ever happened.

After a pause, Hermione asked timidly, "Is it awful in there, Hagrid?"

"Yeh've no idea," said Hagrid quietly. "Never bin anywhere like it. Thought I was goin' mad. Kep' goin' over horrible stuff in me mind... the day I got expelled from Hogwarts... day me dad died... day I had ter let Norbert go..."

His eyes filled with tears. Norbert was the baby dragon Hagrid had won in a game of cards Harry's first year. If that was one of the most horrible memories Hagrid had, Harry felt a little jealous. Saying goodbye to a pet couldn't be like losing two parents to a madman, and facing said madmen twice since coming to Hogwarts.

"Yeh can' really remember who yeh are after a while. An' yeh can' really see the point o' livin' at all. I used ter hope I'd jus' die in me sleep. When they let me out, it was like bein' born again, ev'rythin' came floodin' back, it was the bes' feelin' in the world. Mind, the Dementors weren't keen on lettin' me go."

"But you were innocent!" said Hermione, shocked. Hagrid snorted.

"Think that matters to them? They don' care. Long as they've got a couple o' hundred humans stuck there with 'em, so they can leech all the happiness out of 'em, they don' give a damn who's guilty an' who's not."

Hagrid went quiet for a moment, staring into his tea. Then he said quietly, "Thought o' jus' letting Buckbeak go... tryin' ter make him fly away... but how d'yeh explain ter a Hippogriff it's gotta go inter hidin'? An', an' I'm scared o' breakin' the law..." He looked up at them, tears leaking down his face again. "I don' ever want ter go back ter Azkaban."

The trip to Hagrid's, though far from fun, had nevertheless had the effect Ron and Hermione had hoped. Though Harry had by no means forgotten about Black, he couldn't brood constantly on revenge if he wanted to help Hagrid win his case against the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.

The trio got up to leave, before they heard a scratching at the door.

Finally, Sirius made a decision. He had to get Phoenix out of the woods. No matter what happened to him. Phoenix and Harry were more important. She'd already lost her parents and her eye. He couldn't let her lose her life. He couldn't be responsible for Harry losing all of his family. He took her in the direction of Hagrid's hut. Hagrid would probably be in his house, right? He hoped so.

"Hey Phoenix, do me a favor, okay?" Sirius whispered to her as he carried her to the hut. "Don't take potions. That's not the solution. You have to face things, alright? Bad dreams are definitely not going to go away if you ignore them. And this is dangerous. Got that? You aren't allowed to die before you've lived a long and happy life."

Phoenix didn't say anything, just kept shivering violently. Sirius got to the edge of the Forest, carefully placed Phoenix down on the snow covered ground before changing into his dog form and scratching at Hagrid's door. He heard movement from the other side, and ran into the Forest. He made sure to watch so that he could be sure that Hagrid would notice Phoenix. A red haired boy looked out of the door, before spotting Phoenix. He cursed, said something to someone inside, and Hagrid, Harry, and a brown haired girl ran out. Hagrid grabbed Phoenix and started to run back to the castle, cradling her in his arms. The three kids ran after them. Sirius watched until they were inside the castle, then he lay down on the ground and put his head on his paws.

Phoenix had to be alright.

She had to.

In a Room Outside of Time, two Unspeakables were distracted from their work on timelines and biographies by a scratching noise. When they looked over, the quill had stopped moving, leaving two columns in the book.

Happened:

Phoenix Potter was saved by Sirius Black.

Should:

Sirius Black did not leave his cave.

There was silence before the younger one spoke up.

"Does that mean she was suppose to die?"

"I don't know," the older one said. "I just don't know."

After Hagrid had brought an unconscious and frozen Phoenix Potter to the hospital wing, everyone began running around like headless chickens. Professor Dumbledore was quietly watching over everything, asking Harry, Ron, Hermione and Hagrid questions about how they had found her. Madam Pomfrey had run a diagnosis spell and blanched before leaving for another room. Professor Lupin, looking tired and worn and old, was sitting on a bed watching Phoenix. Professor Sprout was white, and holding Phoenix's hand. Professor McGonagall was standing behind the trio, a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Half of the reason was to stop Harry from getting in the way of Madam Pomfrey like he seemed to want to do. The other half was reassurance for herself. Phoenix Potter was cold, shaking, and what ever Madam Pomfrey had found wasn't good. Professor McGonagall hoped that Phoenix was okay.

She didn't know how Harry would take it if she died.

Or how Remus would take it.

Why had Phoenix Potter been outside?

Madam Pomfrey came back in, followed by someone from St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The man went straight to Phoenix, checking her temperature, watching her shake, and casting a spell.

"I'm going to have to take her to St. Mungo's," the healer said, turning to Madam Pomfrey.

"What's wrong with her?" Harry yelled, struggling to get Professor McGonagall's hand off his shoulder.

"She's going through a nasty case of potions withdrawal."

"What?" Professor Lupin said, looking from the healer to Madam Pomfrey. "What do you mean, potions withdrawal? She, she didn't! She couldn't have!"

"She is. I can't tell how long she's been taking them, not until we get her to St. Mungo's. It looks like she's been taking irregular, high doses recently, and there's a remarkable build up of the potion in her system. Does anyone know when she started? The last time she had multiple nightmares in a row? Maybe the first time she slept so soundly no one could wake her up? How often she's been adding something to her drink before dinner, or having water before bed?" the healer asked, looking around.

No one said anything. Professor Sprout was stroking Phoenix's red locks, tucking them behind her ear. Harry was pale, watching his sister shake.

"What potion?"

Everyone turned to look at Hermione when her quiet voice broke the silence.

"Dreamless sleep potion. It looks like a simple version found in school textbooks," the healer said. Hermione closed her eyes, and recited the ingredients. The healer nodded. "That sounds like the one."

"Harry, I'm s-sorry," she began to cry. "The first time she made that potion was last year around Christmas. I thought that the potion she was doing was not a first year potion, but I was so busy with...I didn't say anything..."

Ron placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder, as she started crying, his face somber.

Phoenix Potter had been taking dreamless sleep potions for a year.

What could possibly give her constant nightmares?

Phoenix, smiling and happy and glowing little Phoenix, was far too pale and quiet and thin. She'd been taking potions for a year. Thinking back, Remus could see the little signs, how her hand occasionally (often) shook when she was holding her wand. How she always made sure to keep her hands under the desk when she wasn't practicing.

There was a whole four months he should have noticed something was wrong. He swore to protect her and her brother, and here he was, sitting on a bed, watching as his goddaughter was taken to St. Mungo's to be treated for long term potion addiction. He should have known. He should have watched her better.

Why didn't she come to anyone? Why hadn't she seen Madam Pomfrey before the nightmares got this bad. Why had no one else noticed?

James and Lily Potter would not be impressed with how their children had been raised. The fact that an eleven year old child decided that it was better for her to brew a potion she hadn't learned, rather than tell someone she had continuous bad nightmares was a definitely a warning sign. This wasn't suppose to happen.

Yes, Petunia and Vernon did not treat the two the way he would have liked them to treat their niece and nephew. He knew that from Mrs. Figg, Hagrid's recounting of giving Harry his letter, Phoenix's surprise at her own name, and even how the two children looked. Yes, Petunia and Vernon hadn't treated them right, but this?

This wasn't healthy, this wasn't okay, this wasn't supposed to happen. Harry and Phoenix were supposed to grow up outside of the limelight, unaware of the fame one of them had at the expense of their parents. They were supposed to have a happy childhood, not...not this.

Professor Dumbledore remembered the look on Phoenix's face when she confirmed that she wouldn't ever get sight back in her eye last year. She wasn't suppose to accept that easily. She was suppose to act like a child, get sad, say it was unfair. Not just...nod and move on. Not solve all her problems herself.

She needed to trust adults. She needed to know that they were there to protect her.

She wasn't suppose to know how cruel the world could be, not yet.

She was suppose to have a happy childhood with her brother.

Not this.

Never this.