Thanks again, everyone, for your continued support and input. It makes me excited to post and share this with you all. Another Shepard chapter, an important one for her development. Next one up is Garrus, and the excitement really begins.
Chapter 10
The cabin was huge.
There was a fish tank, no; an aquarium, along one wall, an armor rack, a couch, and a work area with a desk and private terminal. The bedroom and work area was segregated by a glass wall with collectables on display and a short flight of stairs. There was even an ensuite with it's own private shower and toilet.
The Normandy was a lot cushier than Shepard ever remembered it being.
Shepard found it hard to believe it was Kaidan's room. She didn't know he knew how to decorate.
Shepard wraps her arms around her torso, hugging her giant hoodie tighter to her body, suddenly very cold and lonely in the ridiculously large room.
Kaidan had offered her an uncomfortable sentiment of making herself comfortable, whilst hurriedly packing up the mess on his table, hazardously piling up everything in sight, before pushing it all to the side.
Formally, he told her that they would be at Arcturus Station II in two days time, and that she should be well rested. The undertones of warning that she should not be leaving the cabin had not been lost on Shepard. Kaidan had then followed up by stuttering through an awkward explanation about where he would be residing for the night, and that he would check on her before lights-out. Apparently she had no say in the matter when it came to the invasion of her new-found privacy. With a curt nod, he had left her to her own thoughts.
She taps at the glass of the tank, frightening some of the smaller fish, the light illuminating her face in a sea of blue colors. The low hum of the tank's VI was oddly soothing.
Turning, she makes her way down the short flight of stairs to the bed. Dropping gracelessly to sit on the side of the mattress, she starts prodding at some buttons on the radio on the side of the bed. Seconds later she is grimacing through a track of odd club music that seems to come from all corners of the cabin.
"Apparently the music hasn't gotten any better since I've been gone," Shepard muses wryly, shutting the music off pointedly.
With a sigh, she falls back onto the mattress, pleased to find it is firm. She sprays her arms out, stretching her body to it's limits and taking up the full area of the bed. She closes her eyes momentarily, enjoying the calm ambiance of the cabin.
Seconds turn into minutes, and with a sleepy snort, Shepard wakes herself with a start, surprised to find she had fallen asleep. Chuckling, she wipes her sleeve along her mouth, which had been hanging open. She blinks contently as she comes to her senses once more.
With a gasp, she notices that the ceiling is missing. There is a giant gaping hole of endless space directly above her. The stars shine mockingly. She can't breath.
She scrambles into a sitting position, clawing her way out of the bed. Shepard stumbles back, into the cabin's wall, uncaring as she knocks one of Kaidan's helmets from the armor stand. Closing her eyes, she controls her breathing, willing herself to wake up.
Shepard concentrates of the calming hum of the tank's VI.
When she is sure she isn't having a nightmare, and that she definitely isn't being sucked into the unforgiving vacuum of space, she wills herself to open her eyes.
It's a damn skylight, Shepard discovers, suddenly unexplainably annoyed.
Offering a final glare in the roofs direction, Shepard pulls the covering off of the mattress, bunching the whole of the quilt into her arms. Careful that she doesn't trip on the sides that are already escaping form her struggling grasp, she makes her way to the stairs, and away from the mocking sight of the shining stars.
She stumbles up the few steps, and plunks herself unceremoniously into Kaidan's desk chair, pulling the thick blanket around herself comfortingly. She leans against the desk, watching the fish swim around their tank aimlessly.
It doesn't take Shepard long to bore of the slow moving creatures, swiveling slowly in the chair to investigate this part of the room. Of all the small collectable ships on the wall, one catches her attention above all others. It's a small replica of her SSV Normandy. She smiles fondly at the visage, her curious eyes identifying as many of the other ships as she can. She hadn't pegged Kaidan for the sentimental collectable-inclined type, either.
Once she has identified as many of the ships as she can, her eyes travel to his desk, to the pile of data-pads and picture frames.
Her interest piqued, Shepard pulls the pile towards herself carefully.
She investigates each of the data-pads as she pulls them aside, but turns up nothing overly interesting. The first picture she finds slows her in her investigation, however.
It's a small framed image of herself. It is an old military photograph that was taken when she was first name XO aboard the Normandy, under Andersons command. She looks so young and happy, at first she hadn't recognized herself. She's surprised to find that she's lost weight and her features have become sharper since the trouble with Saren and the Sovereign. Surprised, but not disappointed. The Shepard in the frame is not the woman she is now, she was just a girl in comparison.
Smiling fondly at the thought that Kaidan still thought of her, she puts the frame aside.
A few of the data-pads make mention of terrorist groups in the area, but aside from that, nothing really piques her interest. Until she comes across the last frame.
At first, Shepard is surprised by how many alien's are in the photograph. It's obviously not a photo of Kaidan's old Alliance squad. But it is a large group of people, regardless.
Some faces Shepard finds she recognizes, but most are unfamiliar to her. A large group of humans and aliens sit atop and behind a large couch, all smiling and happy.
She is at the forefront of the image. She isn't looking down the lens of the camera, choosing to glance at the turian beside her.
Shepard is surprised to find that she is smiling when she takes in the familiar blue armor and face-paint that identifies this turian as her old squad-mate; Garrus Vakarian. The smile doesn't last long, however, quickly turning into a confused frown when she finds that the turian's hand –talon?- was resting far too comfortably on this Shepard's knee. His piercing blue eyes are only for the woman sitting next to him.
With an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, she pushes the frame away, feeling all of a sudden like she is imposing on another woman's life. She can feel heat rising in her cheeks, blushing uncomfortably at her discovery. Guilt and something else, that she can't quite identify, redden her face. She breathes through it, and her skin returns to it's usual colour and temperature.
She stands, the quilt dropping from her lap. In a sudden hurry to hide her guilt, he starts piling up the data-pads and photo frames in their original order. She breathes a sigh of relief when the sight of Garrus' caring gaze, and that woman's happy smile, is hidden from view.
Pulling the quilt around herself on the desk chair, Shepard tries desperately to recapture the comfortable position she had moments before.
No such luck.
She glares at the almost completely hidden frame that peeks out from under the stack of data-pads and the old photo that she actually remembers taking.
Why hadn't Garrus said anything? She finds herself thinking. Where do I stand with Kaidan?
With a growl, Shepard roughly pushes away from the desk, not liking her trail of thought. She had enough to deal with at the moment. She didn't need to add the concern of worrying about where she stood with Kaidan and Garrus of all people. Even as she thinks this, she knows it's not all as simple as just putting it aside to worry about later.
She drags the quilt behind her like a petulant toddler, and makes her way to the warm glass wall of the tank. She presses her back against the glass and slides down the wall gracelessly, taking the blanket with her. She pulls her knees up to her chest, the quilt around her shoulders, and leans her head against the glowing blue wall with a soft thud.
Pointedly ignoring the gaping hole above the bed, and the photo on the desk, Shepard closes her eyes. Ignoring the painful tilt of her neck, the sheer emotional exhaustion of the day catches up to her quickly. It doesn't take her long to find the reprieve of sleep.
So exhausted is she, that she doesn't even wake when Kaidan returns to his cabin, hours later, to check on her before he, himself, turns in.
Shepard doesn't hear him as he carefully steps around her prone form to the bed. She doesn't notice his soft footfalls as he returns with a pillow in hand. She is so completely exhausted that she lets him lift her head off the glass wall with gentle, shaking hands. She doesn't resist when he places a pillow behind her head, propping her neck up in a more comfortable manner.
It is only when his familiar rough hands caress her cheek gently, that she offers a small hum of approval. Somewhere in her sleep-fogged mind, she thinks she can almost hear her voice softly whisper her lover's name.
And then the warm hand is suddenly gone, and darkness claims her.