I waited for what seemed like an eternity in the hall like that… I fidgeted constantly, glancing frequently at the clock. Why did I take her up to the roof? I thought she was getting better… Her color was brighter, and she seemed to have more energy. It seemed like a good idea. But the progress she made… Did I waste it? Did my surprise only set her back? Now it would take that much longer to get back on her feet again… I stared at the floor, my eyes blurring with tears. It was so unfair…

I noticed her grandmother hustling up to talk to the doctors. I only watched her out of the corner of my eye. Maybe if I didn't look at her, she wouldn't notice… She would just let me be. She should have been worrying more about Kat, not about me. I knew she would be angry…

As if I had mentally jinxed it, I saw her look my way. I shut my eyes as she started walking over. I could hear the anger in her voice as I thought of what she might say. "What were you thinking?!" "How could you be such an idiot?!" "Don't you have any idea how fragile she is?!"

I opened my eyes to see her standing in front of me. It was impossible to tell what she was thinking… Slowly, I rose my head to make eye contact.

She looked down at me, asking in a blunt tone, "What happened?"

I couldn't speak. It was as if all the words had been stolen from me. I looked at the floor again and started choking up.

She asked again, in a more firm voice. "Haruyuki. What. Happened?"

I clenched my jaw and fought back the tears, but it only lasted a moment before I broke down. I shut my eyes again, feeling hot tears flood down my cheeks. My breathing became uneven and my hands shook. I barely managed to choke out, "It was my fault… wasn't it?"

To my surprise, I felt her hand on my head. I looked up to see her wearing a gentle expression. I was confused… Wasn't she angry?

She sat in the chair next to me. "Haru… The doctors concluded that this had nothing to do with you. Her heart was close to giving out anyway… While you were outside, she had a slight heart attack. It was so small, she didn't even see it coming." She sighed. "But… even a small trigger like that did a lot of damage in her frail state."

"So… It was my fault…"

"No, Haru," she told me, "It was going to happen anyway. She's just so sick now… there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it."

A chill pulsed through my veins. "Is she…?"

The old woman shook her head sadly. "No… She's still fighting, but she doesn't have much left…"

My heart sank. I knew this was coming, but it still hurt more than I could imagine. I had only known her for a year, and already, she was being taken from me. No, I couldn't be selfish like that. The reality was, the world was being taken from her. She was only in junior high. Why did life have to be so unfair? She had so much to offer! She was so bright, and so warm, like a pleasant breeze. She didn't hold one life above another. She had such a pure vision of the world. Why her? Why Kat?

"She was asking for you."

I was brought out of my thoughts by her grandmother's voice. "Wh-what?"

She didn't look at me. "The doctors say she wants to see you."

I wasn't sure how to react. She wanted me there. She wanted me by her side for the small amount of time she had left. Me?

Her grandmother shot me a look again. "Well, what are you waiting for? We haven't got all day! Get going!"

On command, I got up and ran to her room. The hallway was longer than I remembered it. I tried to make sure I didn't run into any nurses on my way. I couldn't think straight for some reason. Then again, who would be able to, knowing they were going to lose someone like that?

I peeked into her room to see her. There was now a heart monitor that beeped in time with her heart beat. I guess it was supposed to give me some kind of hope, to let me know her heart was still going. But in the end, it was only a cruel reminder that her heart was weakening, and that each beat was just bringing her closer to a deep sleep of which she would never awaken from. An oxygen mask was strapped onto her face. Now and again, it would fog up when she exhaled. Her breathing was slow and even. She looked so peaceful and innocent. It made my heart sick to know that in such an angelic state, she would be departing soon.

Her eyes opened slowly. She turned her head to look at me, smiling a little. "Haru…" She reached her hand out to me.

I took a seat near her, taking her hand. Her fingertips were freezing, likely from poor circulation. I did my best to smile. "I'm right here, Kat."

She tried to squeeze my hand, her fingers brushing over my palm. She inhaled deeply and slowly. "Thank you so much for dancing with me."

Her voice was so weak and quiet, I had to lean in to hear her properly. I thought carefully of what to say. I knew this was going to be my last conversation with her. "You're welcome… Actually, I really liked it too. I'm glad you were my first dance partner."

She giggled softly. "I'm so happy…"

I was confused at first, but I supposed she had come to terms with her fate. I swallowed again and nodded. "I'm glad. I love seeing you happy."

She tried to move a little close to me. I knelt on the ground next to her bed so she didn't have to exhaust herself.

I watched as a look of sadness flickered across her pale face. "You're not worried about me, are you?"

Her question threw me off a bit. "I… Well, I…"

"Haru." She looked me in the eye. "Are you?"

I stared at her in silence for a moment. Her eyes kept on me, waiting for an answer. Her lower lip quivered behind the oxygen mask. I tried to stop the tears from coming again. I had to be strong for her, I knew that. But I couldn't stop myself. "Of course… Of course I'm worried! But that's all I can do… After all you've done for me, all I can do is just sit here and watch you…" I clenched my jaw as I revealed just how selfish I was being. "Kat… I can't let you go!"

Tears ran silently down her face as she watched me cry. I watched as she reached her hand up and stroked the top of my head, the way her grandmother had done. She smiled through her tears. "Please don't be sad…"

I sniffled. "How… How can you ask that of me?"

"Because I'm not sad."

She gave her answer without thought or hesitation. It shocked me a little. It was so simple, but it was hard to comprehend. I waited for her to continue.

She rested her eyes as her hand moved back to hold mine again. "I'm just sleepy is all… But I feel content. I didn't get to live long, but I got to spend time with the ones I love. My relatives from America would always write to check on me, and I always had you and Gramma here to take care of me." She opened her eyes again with a sleepy gaze. "And I'm glad I met you. I know it sounds cheesy… but even if it was a short time, I got to know you. I got to see you every day and spend time with you. I felt sick and tired, but… seeing you…" She sighed quietly, too tired to keep talking.

"Kat…" I sat on the mattress with her. I didn't have anything to say… My mind was empty. All I could do was to look at her. She was like the flame on a candle. It gave warmth and fragrance, but soon, it would go out. But while it was lit… It was beautiful. My mind drifted through our time together. I hadn't really paid attention to how sick she looked until now. It was a slow transition. But now, suddenly she was just so weak. I couldn't quite grasp how quickly the human body could betray its owner like that.

She shivered. "Haru… I'm really cold."

"Do you want me to ask for more blankets?" I started to get up. "I could—"

"No…" She kept a grip on my hand. "Please stay with me… I don't want to be alone."

I froze like that for a moment, but soon settled back down. "Ok…"

She held her arms out to me. "Help me… sit up…?"

I nodded, gently lifting her into a sitting position. She leaned forward, laying her head on my shoulder. She hummed contently. "You're very warm…"

I wasn't sure how to react at first, but after mentally facepalming myself, I understood what she wanted. Firmly, but gently, I wrapped my arms around her and held her. She was so cold… Her entire body was like ice. It reminded me of when we went out to play in the snow last winter. Back then, I would have never guessed she was carrying a sickness. She always had so much energy. Even in the hospital bed, she was always smiling… she was so strong for me, even while she was sick.

When really, I was supposed to be strong for her.

"Haru?" she whispered.

I rubbed her back slowly. "Yeah?"

"Do you remember when you took me to see the cherry blossoms?"

I nodded, still stroking her along her spine. "Uh-huh…"

I felt her face on my shoulder form into a frown. "I said I would make you brownies again… I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise…"

I laughed a little bit. "It's ok. I could always ask your grandmother."

She smiled a little again. "I doubt she'd be happy about given more work, though. She can be a little grouchy sometimes."

I laughed again. Even now, all she wanted was just to talk with me. She was so easy to please. She knew how to find joy in the small things. Maybe that was why she was so at peace, even though her life was cut short so suddenly.

After talking a while longer, our conversation was cut off when she started coughing weakly. I was alarmed, worrying for her health. "Kat? Are you alright?"

She couldn't answer, still coughing. I gently patted her back, hoping to help her a bit. Soon, the fit died down, and she was left with raspy breathing. I held her close again. "It's alright. Just rest, I've got you."

She closed her eyes, smiling. "You've always got me…" She laid there, breathing a while longer before speaking again. "Hey, Haru."

"Hm?"

"Do you believe in Heaven?"

I paused a moment, before nodding. "Yes… I guess. Why?"

She sounded like she was falling asleep. "I'm glad… because that means you know I'll be watching over you."

For some reason, my eyes started to tear up again. "Huh?"

"When you look at the sky," she continued, "think of me… because I'll be in Heaven watching over you. Just like you watched over me."

"K-Kat…" I hugged her tight. My tears fell and soaked into her hospital gown. "I will… I'll never forget you."

She reached up and dried my tears. "Don't be sad, Haru…" She nuzzled her head into my shoulder. "We'll meet again someday…"

I couldn't speak anymore. I couldn't bring myself to. All I could think to do was to hold her, rocking her gently and rubbing her back. I couldn't let her go. But I knew it was selfish to want her to stay in a world when she was constantly in pain. Besides… she was right. I knew we would meet again. We were friends. I smiled just a little as the tears flowed heavily. This wasn't a "Goodbye". It was just a "Farewell". Soon, she would be asleep, and she wouldn't be hurting anymore… and with that knowledge, I knew I could be at peace with her departure.

"Haru?"

"Yes?" I kissed her cheek for good measure. "I'm right here, Kat."

She smiled, resting her eyes again. "Good…" She gave a long, content sigh. Her body went limp in my arms. She didn't take another breath.

"Kat?"

There was no response. The monitor flat-lined with a long, steady blare. My heart went numb as I realized she was gone, and all that was left was her empty shell. The sound of the monitor, the smell of medicine and disinfectant, it all blurred into irrelevance as I slowly released my grip on her.

But as I laid her down, I got to look at her one last time before the doctors rushed in to try in vain to revive her. Her face was pale and beautiful, like a sleeping angel. She couldn't feel any more pain. And to this day, I was certain I saw it. There was no mistaking it. On her face… was still a content, peaceful smile.