Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

Chapter 10

Elizabeth closed her weary eyes and let her head fall back on the headrest. Normally, she would have fought tooth and nail before being carted to the hospital like a child. Today she just couldn't muster the energy to care. So much was going on that going to the hospital seemed to be the least of her issues. She was so overwhelmed that she couldn't think straight, let alone formulate the energy needed to fight of an overprotective SRU agent.

She mulled over the words that Spike had whispered to her just a few minutes before.

You're not alone. We love you, Lizzie. We are your family now, let go.

It was a simple sentiment but one that was incredibly powerful to Elizabeth. She wasn't sure that Spike could keep that promise, that the team truly was family. The team didn't know yet. They didn't know that she was a murderer. Somehow, she felt that the sentiment would change when the truth came out.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't close those eyes. What's going on? You with me Liz?" Spike said anxiously as he looked over at her. His arm had flown over to her and was shaking her shoulder. Elizabeth was starting to get very tired of people manhandling her.

Elizabeth peeled her eyes open and turned her head to look at Spike "I'm here, Spike. I just would really like to go to sleep for a while. You don't need to worry about me".

Elizabeth thought this would ease Spike's worries. Here she was talking and responding positively. However, Spike seemed to grow even tenser.

"You want to sleep, Lizzie?" Spike asked cautiously. His glances were a little longer.

"…yeah? A nice long nap would be fabulous right now"

"How long?" Spike's reply seemed to be nonchalant, but Elizabeth could read the tension and the anxiety in his body. Understanding flooded her and she realized what had set him off.

"I want to sleep for a few hours, preferably in my bed and not on a hospital gurney. But tonight, I fully instead on letting you buy me some pizza and ice cream and watching a movie" Elizabeth carefully joked, letting Spike know exactly where she was mentally and also giving him the words he needed to calm down.

"Oh, I'll pay? And I'm not watching any girly stuff. I'm a tough SRU officer" Spike laughed. His voice was filled with part humor but also a strong undercurrent of relief. Elizabeth reached over and squeezes Spike's arm reassuringly.

"Too bad mister, I fully intend on watching the Notebook" Elizabeth smirked. She may as well milk the situation for what it's worth since she's stuck in it. For some reason, she had a feeling that while Spike may protest, he wouldn't really mind watching what she wanted. In fact, Elizabeth could probably ask for the moon today and she knew the team would do anything to meet it.

Spike merely groaned theatrically, clearly playing it up for Elizabeth's sake. Just then they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Elizabeth closed her eyes again and groaned. She really didn't want to be here right now.

"Pleaseee Spike. Please don't make me do this. I was here for hours yesterday. All by myself too" Elizabeth pulled out her puppy dog eyes that always made Joe cave to her very whim. However, Spike was no Joe. He didn't even blink.

"Nice try, Lizzie Lou. Those beauties may work on a lesser man but I can see right through you. Plus Ed will kill me if I don't make you go inside"

With that, Spike got out and jogged around the car to reach Elizabeth's door. Opening it, he offered her his arm to grip. With the other hand going to her waist.

"Spike! I'm not some damsel in distress. Knock it off!" Elizabeth was starting to get annoyed. She thought Spike was being cute at first, but now it just irritated her. So she had a bad moment, that didn't suddenly make her the usual SRU victims. She was an officer, dammit.

Spike leveled a look at Elizabeth. The mirth that previously was held on his face had faded to reveal the man's true emotions. Doubt, anxiety, and pain were all swirling together in Spike's eyes. Spike was scared for her. "Elizabeth, forty minutes ago you didn't know where you were and you couldn't even hold yourself up. You were seeing things. Cut me some slack here, I'm worried"

Elizabeth bobbed her head obediently and took the proffered arm. Together, they walked into the ER. Elizabeth may have been leaning on Spike. Spike may have slipped his arm around her waist to give her more support.

"Ugh, that took forever!" Elizabeth complained as she climbed back into Spike's car.

The duo had only just left the hospital. Even though they had made their way there mid-morning, it was now dusk. A 10 car pile-up had quickly placed Elizabeth on the bottom of the list to be seen. Then the tests. It seemed that each test took longer than the previous one. Spike quietly insisted that Elizabeth be forced to endure every test under the sun. When even the nurses protested, Spike simply pulled out his SRU ID and asked if that was evidence enough. The ID combined with Spike in his uniform convinced the hospital staff to go along with the testing.

"Just sit still, Lizzie!" Spike said, partly annoyed, mostly amused. Elizabeth stopped pacing and glared at Spike.

"I can't! I told you, I hate hospitals!" Elizabeth's reply was filled with venom. It was meant to make Spike back off…instead it just made him frown in concern. "Besides there is no reason for me to be here"

"Nothing bad is going to happen here—at most we waste a few hours. What's the problem?" Spike was examining Elizabeth's face closely. She wished he would stop.

"This is a waste of time and money, okay?" Elizabeth huffed out as she folded herself into a chair next to Spike. She had to force herself to not jiggle her foot or fidget uncomfortably. "I was literally here yesterday"

"Yesterday you weren't lying on the workout floor bleeding and unresponsive" Spike said sharply. He exhaled slowly and tried again, "Just please, do it, Elizabeth. You may not think this morning was a big deal, but it was terrifying for us. You have no idea"

Elizabeth had been startled when Spike snapped at her. She hadn't heard that tone since Spike had cornered her outside the locker rooms weeks ago. She was only beginning to realize how much the team cared for her. She adored them, she wasn't aware that the emotions went both ways.

Elizabeth quieted and cautiously leaned her head on Spike's shoulder. She felt the tension release from Spike as her head met flesh. She forced herself to relax. Spike started to prattle on about babycakes and Elizabeth listened with a slight smile. All the while Spike's hand brushed through Elizabeth's hair while Elizabeth rested against him.

Elizabeth hated every minute of it. She hated being poked and prodded like some zoo animal. Even more though, she hated hospitals. She had spent weeks there after the…incident. As a result, she hated being there.

"I gotta say, I am surprised they cleared you. I really thought you were lying when you said you bruise vividly" Spike said, ignoring Elizabeth's petulant tone.

That was one small victory of the day—the hospital confirmed that Elizabeth hadn't been lying about being cleared for duty. She was medically sound. No broken ribs, no fractures, no concussions, nothing. She was in perfect conditions, aside from the bruising. But it was just that, bruising.

"I told you" Elizabeth huffed. She was so irritated from all the time that was wasted that she couldn't even bask in the victory. Spike had prodded her every times her eyes closed in the waiting room, refusing to let her sleep even for a minute. Then the nurses wouldn't let her sleep either before they checked her head out. She closed her eyes again and leaned her head back. If she thought she was tired before, it was nothing compared to now.

Elizabeth jolted awake when she felt herself moving. It took her less than a second to realize that she was no longer in the car, but in someone's arms. It took her another second to realize that those arms belonged to Spike.

"It's okay, Elizabeth. It's just me. You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up" Spike said. He had stopped moving but was still cradling Elizabeth to his chest. His breathe blew warm on Elizabeth's forehead as he looked down at her. His brown eyes were piercing.

"Oookay. You can put me down now" Elizabeth said. His arms were comforting but she would never live it down if she let him carry her into her apartment. The boys would eat her alive if they heard about this. Speaking of apartment, Elizabeth looked around. She hadn't told Spike where she lived…how did he know? It seemed that Spike was either very observant, or Elizabeth was extremely readable because he know her every thought. It was probably a mixture of both.

"Ed called earlier while you were sleeping. He gave me your address" Spike said nonchalantly as they moved slowly towards the front door. "He's bringing pizza and the desired movie"

Elizabeth just laughed. "There is no way that Ed is coming over to watch The Notebook. Nice try Spike, it's not gonna work. Also, I remember saying ice cream was a must"

Spike's only reaction was to shrug. The shrug quickly turned into a lunge as he caught Elizabeth. She had tripped over a step she had stepped over hundreds of times. She must have been more tired than she realized. Once again, she found herself in Spike's arms as he held her up.

Looking up she breathlessly said "Thanks".

Spike swallowed and nodded. Elizabeth was surprised he didn't take the opportunity to tease her for her clumsiness. They walked forward again and this time, when Spike wrapped his arm around her waist, she didn't protest.

By this time they had reached Elizabeth's front door. Elizabeth fumbled in her bag and found her key chain. She unlocked the door and slipped into the apartment, Spike following close behind her. She was too tired to properly put her things away so she just dropped them by the door, motioning for Spike to do the same with his things.

"I'm going to change into something more comfortable, you're welcome to take a look around. The living room is right there and through that doorway is the kitchen. I'll be back in a minute" Elizabeth threw over her shoulder as she walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Entering the room, she shut the door and closed her eyes again. Exhaling, she took stock. She was fine. She was at home, with Spike. They were both fine.

Once Elizabeth felt a meager amount of control over herself she quickly went about changing her clothing. She desired comfort above all so she pulled on shorts and Joe's hoodie once again. That task completed, she washed her face in the bathroom and left the bedroom.

Elizabeth stopped by the kitchen on the way to the living room where she assumed Spike had gotten to. She grabbed an icepack and two beers. Elizabeth found Spike in the living room looking at a picture of Elizabeth and her parents. She set the beers down on the table and plopped herself on the couch. She stuck the icepack on her chest and the cold instantly soothed the aching.

Spike turned around when Elizabeth entered. His eyes widened slightly. He had never seen her in such casual clothing.

"Those are my parents" Elizabeth murmured. "That was taken about three weeks before they died. We went to a fall festival downtown. I had begged them for weeks and weeks to go because fall was my favorite season. They finally said yes and it was a blast"

Spike nodded, his eyes glued on Elizabeth.

"I brought you a beer, although, you don't have to drink it if you don't want to" Elizabeth continued, motioning to the sweating beverages on the coffee table. "Feel free to sit down or whatever. I assume that I won't be able to convince you to leave and to be honest, I'm still exhausted so I'm not going to try. You can have Joe's room for the night, the sheets are clean."

At that, Spike chuckled. "You hit the nail on the head right there. There is no way that I'm leaving tonight. You're stuck with me. Ed said he would be here in 15 so don't get too tired on me. We have pizza to consume and a movie to watch"

Elizabeth leveled a look at the man. "Are you serious about Ed?"

"Of course I am"

Elizabeth thought it over for a second. She didn't see any of the immediate telltale signs that Spike was lying. Usually he had a tiny smirk that would pull on the corners of his mouth when he lied. He also tended to have a playful glint that was missing now. Sure, he seemed amused, but it appeared to be more directed at Elizabeth's denial than the actual statement. Underneath the amusement was still a deep sadness that bothered Elizabeth.

"Shit. You were telling the truth" Elizabeth swore. Her face transformed from sheer exhaustion to include apprehension. She really didn't want to see her team leader right now.

Spike pretended to look offended at Elizabeth's remark "I could never lie to you Lizzie Lou"

Elizabeth scoffed "Oh yeah, how many times have I heard 'it wasn't me!' from you? I know damn well that you're the one who messed with my gun and my diet coke!"

Spike appeared to be trying to school his expression into a calm face. However, he completely failed and lost it, laughing hysterically. "You should have seen your face. It was the funniest thing—even funnier than when we got Donna with the cream cheese"

As Spike continued laughing, the doorbell rang. Elizabeth ignored the guffawing officer in her living room and got up to answer the door. She hoped it was just a random person, and not her team leader. However, her hopes were dashed when she looked through the peephole and Ed came into view. When she opened the door she saw that, sure enough, Ed carried a couple pizza boxes and a movie in his arms.

"Liz, how you doing?" Ed asked with a smile as Elizabeth backed up to allow him entry.

"I'm good. I wish you men would stop fussing. I'm in tip top shape" Elizabeth replied as they walked into the living room. Rather, Ed walked and Elizabeth stumbled her way through. Entering it, Elizabeth saw that Spike had finally composed himself and had taken a seat on the vacated sofa. Ed set the pizzas down on the coffee table and sank into one of the easy chairs, leaving Elizabeth to sit next to Spike. Elizabeth had a feeling that she was going to be doing a whole lot more talking before she went to bed that evening. She was just so tired right now. However, upon the sight of pizza her stomach seemed to have awoken. It reminded Elizabeth that she hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday.

Another knock sounded on the door. Elizabeth frowned. Who could be here now? Spike rose to answer the door and Elizabeth decided she didn't care who was here. Hell, the whole damn team could show up and show wouldn't care. She picked up the ice pack and replaced it on her chest while also grabbing the throw blanket from behind her and covering up her legs. She then reached for one of the pizza boxes and pulled out a couple of slices for herself.

Spike and Sarge walked back into the living room. Elizabeth swore internally. She hated this. Why couldn't these people just leave her alone?

"How's it going, Elizabeth?" Sarge asked in a kind tone. Elizabeth recognized that tone. It was his negotiation tone. The tone he used when someone was standing on the edge or holding a gun. It was a tone reserved for unstable people. Luckily, her mouth was full of pizza so she couldn't say the things she wanted to, all of which involved four letter words. She settled for a noncommittal shrug as she swallowed her pizza.

"Couldn't wait for us, huh?" Spike laughed as he too grabbed some of the food.

Elizabeth just took another bite while Ed and Sarge laughed. The conversation quickly turned to work and the boys were absorbed in dissecting a new testing method for SRU agents. Elizabeth half listened as she ate. She didn't feel like contributing and none of the men pushed her to.

Soon enough, the pizza boxes were lying empty on Elizabeth's table. Elizabeth had curled up on the sofa and was planning on falling asleep so then everyone had to leave. Her legs were stretched out on Spike's lap. He was absently running his hands up and down her ankles, thumbs tracing soothing circles. Before this plan could come to fruition though, Sarge cleared his throat.

"So, Elizabeth, I think we have some stuff to talk about" The stupid tone was back.

Elizabeth steeled herself. She wasn't going to cry, no matter what. "Uh, yeah, I guess we do. Where do you want to start?"

This seemed to surprise the Sarge, clearly he had been expecting to wheedle and cajole the truth out of her.

"Are you okay with everyone here?"

"Why not? I think Spike has plans on permanently moving in and I think Ed would die from jealously if I picked Spike over him" Elizabeth tried to joke.

"It's not like that, Elizabeth. You choose who you want. No one here is going to be upset if you ask them to leave" Ed said seriously. "I won't think anything of it if you ask me to leave and Spike to stay".

"No, no. I know. I just really don't want to have this conversation" Elizabeth explained, twinning her fingers together in her lap. She pulled her legs out of Spike's lap and folded them under her, straightening her body. The lax position she held before just didn't feel right considering the tense topic she was about to embark on. "With anyone". .

"What are you afraid of, Liz?" Greg gently asked. His tone held so much care and warmth that tears flooded her eyes. Here she was, one minute into the conversation and she was already crying. She looked around for the tissue box that usually resided on the table. Before she found it, a hand held the desired Kleenex towards her. Elizabeth gratefully took it and gave a watery smile to Spike, the owner of the hand.

"I'm sorry, I swore that I wouldn't cry" Elizabeth mumbled into the tissue.

"It's okay to cry. No one thinks less of you" Greg reassured Elizabeth as she blotted away the tears. "I feel like crying too"

Elizabeth cleared her throat "I'm not really sure where to begin here…" she admitted. She had never actually told anyone the story before. Joe knew because Joe had been there. He didn't need explaining to understand. Sure, she had talked about it in therapy, but nothing extensive. She wasn't really into talking to strangers about problems.

"Let's start with what you saw today. You said there was blood everywhere" Sarge leaned forward and clasped his hands together, "this isn't a test, we are just talking here".

Elizabeth took her time thinking it through. She wasn't sure how to phrase the words building on her tongue. There was so much that she had never said, words that lived hidden in her soul. Elizabeth pursed her lips, she was afraid that if she opened them then she wouldn't be able to stop the flood.

The men sat in silence, allowing Elizabeth to take the time she needed to find some control.

After five minutes, Elizabeth deeply inhaled. She looked up and opened her mouth to begin.

"I was in high school. I was walking home from the bus stop. When I got home I thought something was off…my dad's car was home and I was confused. You see, my dad never came home early without telling me," Elizabeth stopped and took a breath. She had rambled all that out in one puff of air.

As she refilled her lungs, Greg spoke "Slow down, Elizabeth. Just slow it down. There's no pressure here. It's just us. Take all the time you need"

Spike and Ed nodded in agreement with Sarge's words. Spike leaned over to Elizabeth and placed a gentle hand on her arm, providing silent strength.

Elizabeth began again, "Anyway, I dismissed what I was feeling. I just thought it was a surprise and I started to get excited. We were supposed to go to the beach that weekend. I thought that my dad had gotten off of work early so we could leave that night instead of the next day. I let myself get too excited.

"I walked inside the house and I called out to my parents. No one responded. Now I was starting to get a little worried. I looked all around downstairs for them before I went upstairs. I had been making a ton of noise because I didn't…I didn't know that I needed to be quiet. It wasn't until too late that I realized my mistake."

More tears were sliding down Elizabeth's face. She felt numb.

"They were upstairs in my room. The walls were white. So white. We were supposed to paint them months ago but things kept coming up. I had paint samples taped to one of the walls. I yelled at my mom the night before because I hated the white…but that's not important."

Elizabeth composed herself for a couple seconds before refocusing.

"My parents were kneeling. They were…they were gagged but they looked so scared. I…I didn't think. I should have taken a minute, looked…but I didn't."

Elizabeth stopped and silently cried for a minute. She felt a tremendous wave of shame rush through her. She didn't want to say that it was her fault. She didn't want to admit that she was the reason that her parents were dead. But she couldn't stop the words. There was too much that she had left unsaid for too long. She had taken the lid off and now she couldn't seem to shove everything back in.

Sarge and Ed were gazing at Elizabeth with twin looks of sympathy and comfort. Spike was staring at his knuckles. They were white from being squeezed together so tightly.

"A man grabbed me as soon as I tried to rush over to my mom. I should have seen him. If I had just taken a minute I would have seen him. He laughed and said…he said he…they had been waiting for…for me. Another man appeared and he had a, a gun. I blinked and then he shot my…my mom and d-dad"

Elizabeth was overcome with sobs at this point. Her shoulders trembled with the force of the cries that escaped her chest. Spike abandoned any measure of composure and went to hug Elizabeth. Ed stopped the man with a firm hand on his arm and a shake of the head.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to continue, "The walls were red. So red. There was so much blood. They took me then. I don't know where we went, I don't know how long they had me. The-the man, the main one, he l-liked me. Said no one could…t-touch me but him" Elizabeth stopped to compose herself again. She felt a meager sense of relief. She had finally admitted her failure to someone. The worst of the story was over.

She missed the looks that were traded above her head. Sarge's face was deathly pale, an almost sickly green tinge to it. By contrast, Ed's face was incredibly red, rage filling every line of his face. The men looked ominously at each other, silently preparing to hear the worst. The looks they had were of twin disgust and fear. Spike was staring at his knuckles again. They were shaking terribly. At the word touch, a tear ran down Spike's face.

"It was my fault they died. If I…if I had just taken some time. Used my brain…then maybe it wouldn't have happened" Self-loathing had filled Elizabeth's voice.

"Then Joe came. He saved me. I decided then that I wouldn't ever let another little girl go through what I did. I knew that I was made to keep the peace. To protect those who can't protect themselves. " Elizabeth finished her story with a sardonic smile. She was trying very hard to make light of a dire situation. She was afraid to look at the men around her, afraid to see the judgement in the gazes. She was aware that she skipped quite a bit of story. However, she didn't think that her going into graphic detail of the torture that was inflicted upon her was a great idea. Even as upset as she was, she could tell the men were struggling with the story. The living room had so much tension in it that Elizabeth was afraid that if she said anything more they would all break.

So instead, she sat, silently crying, hunched over the broken words she had said. Finally, Greg broke the silence.

"Thank you for sharing that, Elizabeth. I can't imagine how hard that must have been"

"Don't negotiate me" The sharp words had been thrown before Elizabeth even realized she had opened her mouth. She was trembling, with sorrow or rage, she wasn't sure. But she was sure as hell that she wasn't playing Greg's game.

Sarge sat back, raising his hands to show he wasn't going to do anything, his eyes rapidly assessing Elizabeth's form.

"I wasn't trying to negotiate you. I'm sorry it seemed that way. I just want to talk" Despite Sarge's words, the tone was the same. That godawful tone that wasn't supposed to be used with her.

"About what? You know everything now…all of it. You" Elizabeth indicated Greg alone "Knew it all from the beginning. What is there to say? What more can I say?"

"How about you're still on the team? We have your back. Or that we love you? Or maybe it wasn't your fault?" Ed asked, staring straight at Elizabeth with a molten hot gaze. "What about what they did to you? What that man did when he touched you?"

"What about those things? Why aren't they important to say?" Ed asked, pushing Elizabeth.

"No, you don't understand. You. Don't. Understand. You can't. I was so reckless when I came in, I knew something was wrong and I didn't listen to it. This is my fault, it is. If I had—"Elizabeth was cut off mid rant.

"Had what? Snuck up on those bastards and what? What could you have done?" Ed was pushing harder now. Elizabeth wanted to scream in frustration. They didn't know anything. She settled for banging her hands on the coffee table.

"Elizabeth help us understand. What are we missing?" Greg coached.

"I could have done something. They died because of me. I killed my parents!" The last sentence came out as a high pitched wail of agony. Elizabeth wasn't trying to talk anymore. She had stood up from her seat in agitation. However, after being folded for so long, her legs failed to support her. She fell to the ground and buried her head in her hands, rocking slightly. Her entire frame shook as heaving sobs torn through her mouth. All she could focus on was the white hot pain flooding her veins. She missed her parents so badly. Their faces flashed through her mind, jolting her like flashes of lightening.

Snot and tears mixed on Elizabeth's face. She was crying so hard that she didn't even realize that there was another body, holding her, cradling her with gentle, loving arms. She didn't hear the whispered validations and comfort. She missed how the arms gently wiped away the tears and snot with tissues.

Elizabeth missed everything as she fell apart in Spike's arms.