Title: Bluejay
Rating: R
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Characters/Pairing: JJ/Hotch
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
Summary: It's been two years since Jennifer Jareau has seen her team. She's been a little busy fighting demons.
Author's Note: Written for floatingamoeba, who bid on my auction post for thepurpledove.

Part Ten

JJ waited behind in the clearing with Reid while Emily and Morgan placed the charges around the portal. Part of her was grateful for it, because she didn't need them looking at her like she was a dead woman walking.

Reid, at least, seemed unperturbed by her dilemma, but the fact that that was only because he was insane from years of solitude didn't really comfort her much. While he seemed comfortable in the silence, JJ had questions she needed to ask him.

'We're doing this to kill the demons on the other side – will the fact that I'm stuck in the wrong dimension mean it'll have the same effect?'

He didn't answer straight away, instead, his eyes locked onto a small flying insect. It looked like a cross between a dragonfly and a butterfly, with an added ethereal glow. 'I don't know,' he admitted eventually, sounding somewhat annoyed. He probably didn't like the fact that the words "I don't know," had to be in his vocabulary. 'It seems logical, but without empirical evidence, there's no saying what will happen.'

'There's no empirical evidence that they'll die either, though.'

'True,' he said. 'Though there are some references to the possibility that it has happened before.'

JJ nodded, but really, she didn't care all that much. All she cared about was the slowly dawning realization that she was going to die. Alone.

And part of her didn't even seem to mind.

Over the years, JJ had never been particularly religious. She wasn't sure what she believed in, but her issues with faith had never really been as prominent as Morgan's or Rossi's or Emily's. Then, the world ended, and Will and Henry died. The only way she could keep going was to let herself hope that they were somewhere better. And that maybe one day, she'd join them.

She wasn't sure if she believed it, but just that hope had gotten her through the last few months.

Now, when death seemed so certain, she thought of them, their pictures still fresh in her mind. Them, and Hotch.

She wasn't sure if he'd survived whatever attack had interrupted their summoning, but if he did, then she would never see him again. Maybe "love" wasn't the right way to describe how she felt about him. She liked him a lot, but their relationship had only progressed to that point just days ago. "It's complicated" was probably better, but even that seemed inadequate. After all, the circumstances weren't exactly normal. She couldn't expect that he would mourn her the same way he did Haley.

'When you see Hotch, tell him…' She paused. There was nothing she could say that could really explain what she needed to explain. 'Just tell him I'm sorry. I think he already knows the rest.'

'It might take weeks,' Reid said, and it might have sounded non-sequitur to anyone listening in, but JJ was starting to get used to his fractured style of conversation. 'Maybe even years. Sekhmet suggested that a human might last here longer than a demon could on the other side. If taking a chance is preferable, it runs on solar power, and it self destructs after a single use. As for the issues…well, let's just say I hope you like the possibility of dinosaurs. But you can't save them.'

JJ frowned.

Okay, that, she had no clue what he was talking about. Before she could ask, though, Morgan and Prentiss had returned to their camp, both looking more forlorn that JJ had seen them in a long time.

It seemed almost amusing to think that they were upset that they couldn't be the martyrs, but then she realized just how broken they must have been if that was preferable to returning home.

She could have offered to let them stay with her, but they wouldn't: at the very least, they were all committed to making sure that Reid made it back unscathed. Even if the plan didn't work, then at the very least, she wasn't making an empty sacrifice.

'I think we're ready,' Morgan announced, ten minutes later. They'd placed the charges according to some algorithm that Reid had worked out – enough coverage that it would destroy the portal irreparably, but not so much that it would trigger a landslide.

'Good luck,' JJ told him sincerely; they had absolutely no idea what it would be like on the other side. The portal could lead straight into demon territory, or into the middle of the Pacific Ocean, or any other number of dangerous or otherwise inhospitable places.

Once upon a time, she might have given him a hug goodbye, but she was so sure that if she did that today, then she'd break down.

Hold it all in.

Instead, she shook his hand, as though they were conducting some kind of business meeting. It was stilted, and a little impersonal, and when Morgan pulled her into a hug anyway, she didn't object.

The tears were starting to well, but she bit them back.

'We'll try to find a way…' Emily said, words trailing off at the end of the sentence. 'Sekhmet might be able to do something, or there might be a spell, or…Something. Stay strong.'

'I'll compartmentalize,' JJ said with a laugh. Emily smiled, but it was a sad, distant sort of smile. The smile you gave someone that was about to die.

They were gone surprisingly quickly.

They stepped through the portal, causing a shimmering haze to ripple across the area. Just like that, it was as though she was the only person left in the universe.

This universe, at least.

Dimension, she corrected, mentally, even though she still didn't quite understand the difference. Reid had explained it a few times, but his explanations generally involved high level math and physics, so she'd zoned out on it a little.

Remote in hand, JJ grabbed her backpack, and started heading off down the mountain. She decided that she'd set the charges off when she was halfway down – far enough away that she wouldn't get hit by the blast, but close enough to walk back up if something went wrong.

Really, there was nothing stopping her from walking straight through that portal, and rejoining the rest of the team. Nothing, except for the millions of lives at stake, and the weight of her conscience on her soul.

An hour later, she knew she'd gone far enough. She couldn't see the portal anymore, but there was no way she'd miss the explosion; a dozen finely tuned charges set to go off at the flip of a switch.

She pulled the remote from her pocket, and took off the plastic casing. Where the hell Reid had found plastic in this place, she had no idea. Apparently he'd been able to find electronic components as well, so maybe plastic wasn't all that farfetched.

Or, he could have brought it with him.

She didn't deliberate on the matter much further. Her thumb hovered over the single red button, aware that she one single touch was all it would take to change the entire course of humanity's future.

No pressure.

Not only that, but it would trap her here for the rest of her life. Weeks, maybe even years. She wasn't sure if she could live that life.

She was a Communications Liaison. She needed to communicate. She couldn't hole away, and write equations all day like Reid did. Being in this place for any length of time would send her insane in a completely different way.

Reid had lasted years, but JJ doubted she'd even be able to go months before she started clawing her eyes out. Hopefully, it wouldn't get that far.

JJ pressed the button before she could change her mind, and the force of it knocked her to her knees. Not the explosion – that was big, but she was far enough away to avoid the shockwave. The sudden disconnect she'd felt was like being whacked in the face with a sledgehammer. Like someone had pulled her power cable, any connection she might have had to her home, her family, her friends.

Gone.

She tried to breathe through it.

In. Out. In. Out.

Calm, deep breaths.

Darkness clawed at the edges of her vision, and JJ had the sudden realization that she was losing consciousness.

'Seconds,' she murmured, hands clawing at the dirt. 'I guess that's close enough to weeks.' If it was affecting her this quickly, then she hoped like hell, it was slaughtering those fucking asshole demons on the other side.

In. Out. In. Out.

Weakly, she looked out over the plains encompassed the world ahead of her, golden sun just starting to dip beneath the horizon, sky tinted a brilliant shade of pink.

Not bad, for the last thing she'd ever see.

JJ closed her eyes.

Whatever else had happened, for the first time in a long time, she felt at peace.

…

Morgan hit the ground with a grunt and a thud, jarring his bad knee. His head was spinning, and he was positive that he was going to throw up.

Once he'd reoriented himself, he took a few moments to assess the situation. They'd made it through the portal – that was good. No demons around – also good. He had absolutely no idea where they were – not so good.

There was snow on the ground, which narrowed it down a little. That was, of course, assuming that it was still October. For all he knew, their few days in an alternate dimension translated to fifty-thousand years on this side.

About six feet to his left, Emily was on her hands and knees, retching into the snow. Ten feet to his right, Reid was lying face down, not moving.

'You okay?' he called out to Emily, as he ran towards Reid.

'I think my stomach had a trip through a blender,' she groaned. He heard another retch, followed by coughing, but his eyes were on Reid. His body was still, and deathly pale.

'Reid! Morgan turned Reid over quickly, fingers going straight to the other man's neck. The pulse was weak, but it was there. 'Am I alive?' the younger man asked, before opening his eyes, and looking around furtively.

'Yeah, you're alive,' Morgan grinned. 'The universe'll have to try a little harder than that to kill you.'

'We need to get him someplace warm,' Emily said, at which point Morgan realized she was standing right behind him. Her face was haggard, and she was shivering like crazy, and Morgan figured he probably looked just as bad.

'We should wait,' he said, gesturing back towards the portal. It had hurt like a knife to the gut to leave JJ behind – he at least needed to see that it had all been for something.

'Morgan, if we stick around, we're gonna freeze to death,' Emily argued, and Morgan didn't disagree. Having grown up in Chicago, he considered himself used to the cold, but that didn't really factor in being stuck in the snow while wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

They had extra clothes in their backpacks, but not nearly the kind of coverage needed for this kind of exposure. Still, they took a few minutes to layer up. Somehow, Reid managed to get the bulk of the clothes, since his natural fiber fashion extravaganza was far less suited to the cold, and he wasn't in any position to argue otherwise. Both Morgan and Emily had sleeping bags in their packs, but there wasn't exactly any practical way of using them without encumbering them even more than they were already.

'I can't decide whether I'd prefer frostbite or hypothermia,' Emily said with a laugh, as she slipped a sock over her right hand. Since there weren't quite enough to go around properly, they'd negotiated to one hand sock each.

'Frankly, neither are particularly pleasant situations to be caught in,' Reid said matter-of-factly. Morgan might have taken his words a little more seriously if he didn't look so goddamn ridiculous in their impromptu winter get-up. 'It's important to keep your extremities warm, as your body focuses on increasing blood-flow to the vital inner organs. In absence of gloves, armpits provide the most effective substitute.'

'Good to know,' Emily said, sticking her left hand under her armpit. 'I don't think walking like this is going to work very well. I might just stick with my pocket.'

Before he could reply, a loud humming noise began to emanate from the portal. The surface of it began to glow, and Morgan got the idea that getting the hell out of there was probably a good idea. Without any preamble, he grabbed Reid and Emily, and pulled them away from the portal.

They made it less than fifty feet before the shockwave pulsed outwards, knocking them to the ground.

'I guess JJ—' Morgan started, before he was interrupted by a loud, agonizing scream from Reid, who was laying on top of him. 'Reid!'

Morgan turned awkwardly, trying to get to his friend without pushing him back into the snow. Emily intervened, pulling Reid to his feet, and wrapping her arms around him. He wasn't screaming anymore, but he was whimpering lightly.

'Hey,' she murmured softly, rubbing a hand across his back. Morgan pulled himself up.'Hey, it's okay. You knew this was going to happen, remember? Cutting off the link means killing all the demons. Even the ones in your head. Shit,' she added, which seemed non-sequitur, until he noticed that her nose was bleeding.

'You want me to take him?'

'Together,' Emily said, slinging Reid's right arm around her shoulder. Morgan took his left, and they hobbled forward slowly. The last thing they needed was to lose each other.

Reid's murmurs grew increasingly incoherent, not particularly helped by the rising wind. Tiny flakes of white started to swirl around them, decreasing visibility.

'Any idea where we are?' he asked Emily.

'Kinda reminds me of Lappland,' she called back. Morgan was almost about to retort that he didn't think they were in Sweden, but really, there was nothing that really precluded that possibility. The demon infestation had started in North America, but they didn't really have any evidence to confirm that the portal only went to one place – since there was no receiving portal, it could well have just been random.

Maybe they'd probably be able to narrow it down based on astronomical data or geographic landmarks, but hopefully they'd make it to some kind of civilization before they needed to.

'Do you still have your compass with you?' Morgan asked.

'What good is it, if we don't know where we are?' Emily shot back. She bit back a sigh. 'Are we sure this isn't some other dimension?' There was a pause. That was a thought that Morgan hadn't considered, and quite frankly, it was nothing short of terrifying. If it was a another dimension, then they might as well start digging their graves. 'Like some kind of multi-verse thing?'

'That applies to infinite universes, not infinite dimensions,' Reid provided, the opportunity for imparting scientific education on them apparently enough to momentarily pull him from his stupor. 'I haven't been able to complete the calculations, but I'm confident of the fact that there is only a single alternate dimension in this context.'

'"In this context?"' Morgan asked, skeptical.

'Do you really want to get him started on String Theory now?' Emily interjected, before Reid could respond. 'Come on. We need to get moving.' The wind was starting to pick up; if they didn't find some kind of shelter soon, then they'd be corpses.

'There's gotta be something close by,' Morgan said, trying to forget all the statistics Reid had ever told him about people dying out in the middle of nowhere.

'Comparing developed areas of the world to non-developed, statistically speaking—'

'Never tell me the odds,' Emily cut in.

'Hey, now. If any of us is gonna be Han Solo, it's gonna be me. You can be Leia.'

'Oh, gee, thanks,' Emily laughed, shivering. 'It's because of the metal bikini, isn't it? Wouldn't last very long out here wearing that.'

'Actually, in the movies, Leia is consistently the most accurate with a blaster, and in the Extended Universe, she goes on to become a fairly powerful Jedi. You shouldn't take it as an insult.'

In spite of the morale boost it provided, soon, talking became far too exhausting. They trudged through the snow, the cold striking right through to the bone. Morgan's left hand was starting to blister, so he swapped the sock over. He tried to keep up an optimistic façade, but it was becoming increasingly apparent that they weren't going to last much longer.

'I'm starting to get the feeling we might have been better off staying with JJ,' Emily said, now shivering so hard that her words came through stuttered.

'I hear you,' Morgan said, teeth gritted hard to stop the chattering. Then, he saw it.

His vision impaired by snow, and cold, and fatigue, he couldn't be sure that it wasn't a hallucination. Then, both Emily and Reid perked up, and he knew it was real.

Shelter.

It wasn't exactly a rescue call, but it was as good as they were going to get.

…

The journey that had taken twelve hours on the way there, took almost two days on the way back.

Of course, part of that was the fact that any energy JJ might have had was slowly slipping away. She'd lost consciousness on the mountain – it had only felt like minutes, but realistically, it could have been hours.

The sky was growing darker, and somehow she knew that it was a side effect of shutting down that portal. This world was dying, and JJ had the sickening feeling that she was going to die along with it.

Her only vestige of hope lay with the sanctuary that Reid had built up in his time here. With that, at least, she might be able to last a few days.

There was something else that kept nagging at the back of her mind, but she wasn't sure what. It was something important…something…

The explosion had addled her mind more than she was willing to admit. Thoughts, and memories, and dreams ran together like swirling colors, each individual construct unable to be separated from the rest.

Miraculously, all of her weapons were still in working order. After the hunger set in, she steeled herself, and went on the hunt. While the sport had been fairly popular in her hometown, JJ had been something of a pacifist growing up. After her sister's death, her father had tried to include her in the hunting trips that he took her brothers on, but by that stage, JJ was more interested in boys and soccer than hanging out with her dad.

The little girl from East Allegheny was dead and gone. Jennifer Jareau, demon hunter, had replaced her.

Of course, now it was more like, "Jennifer Jareau, wildebeest hunter," but dinner was a little more important than her pride. The fire she started to cook the beast served as some kind of protection against any other creatures that might have the inclination to attack, but JJ knew that she would not sleep regardless. She was simultaneously wired and exhausted, and no amount of counting sheep was going to alleviate that balance.

At dawn, she moved on.

It felt like dawn, at least, but the sky remained dark, and would probably continue that way. There was probably some philosophical quandary, like, "if the sun doesn't rise, can you still call it dawn?" but JJ was in no mood to philosophize.

Though her body felt like it had broken down entirely, she kept moving. She had to make it back to Reid's base camp, even if she didn't know why.

When she finally got there, she promptly passed out on the woven mattress, and slept for what felt like an eternity. When she woke, her mind felt a little clearer, but still unfocused.

After all, what the hell was she supposed to do?

Live out her life in a world completely devoid of human life?

Take the quick exit?

No. JJ swore that she would never do that. She would never hurt the ones she loved that way. But then, there was no one left to care.

It was a macabre thought, but that didn't make it any less true.

She decided to give herself a week. A week of pondering the matter, of deciding what, if anything, could be done.

The shadow of some forgotten memory still haunted her, a ghost stuck on the tip of her tongue. It was right there, and yet it refused to materialize. Something Reid had said…?

She thought back to the day on the mountainside. It seemed forever ago, but it was only a couple of days.

If taking a chance is preferable, it runs on solar power, and it self destructs after a single use. As for the issues…well, let's just say I hope you like the possibility of dinosaurs. But you can't save them.

What did he mean by that?

What runs on solar power?

When it came, it wasn't a creeping realization. It was something that hit her with the force of a thousand sledgehammers. The machine in the corner of the room. The one he'd pointed out on her first day here.

My dimensional portal. Not quite finished. A few temporal issues. Might well send you back to the big bang, or the Mesozoic era.

That was why he never destroyed the portal. Because he was too busy trying to find a way back. He'd gotten distracted by other things, but still…

He built another portal.

A flawed portal, but a portal just the same.

Just like that, a sliver of hope appeared.

Maybe she'd be going home after all.