Day 68…
More weeks passed. Every night, whether during or after a mission, Bucky would be stuffed into a room with Alpha and the door bolted shut. Alpha, like the robot she had become, would go immediately to her bed and plug herself in. Bucky took longer. He was riddled with guilt and conflicting emotions that would keep him up for hours. He began to wonder if the person he became when he reverted wasn't a different person at all. He had been pretending to have been reverted for so long he began to believe that he, James Buchanan Barns, and the Winter Soldier were one and the same. Or maybe he wasn't either one anymore, but someone different. He couldn't tell.
Bucky pretended to be Hydra's Asset again to keep an eye on Alpha. He didn't like what Hydra was doing but wasn't going to leave Alpha alone for them to do what they pleased with her. Through those weeks with Hydra Bucky noticed the bit of metal spine on the back of Alpha's neck was different. It looked like a centipede with its thin legs wrapping partially around her neck to stay in place. Bucky concluded that was how they were controlling her. The centipede device hooked into her brain, and most likely her AI, through the base of her head. During missions Bucky would examine the centipede as closely as possible without raising suspicion. He didn't know how to remove it or what would happen to Alpha if it was removed. Those were some more of the thoughts that kept Bucky up at night.
Hydra made Bucky and Alpha do some terrible things. They went after small sects of SHIELD that had survived. They destroyed buildings, homes, offices, and even part of a hospital. Alpha would hook herself up and collect as much SHIELD data she could during those missions. Bucky would remain always by her side. There were a few times she and him were interrupted. Those were the tense moments Bucky would have to hurt a lot of people in order to keep them from Alpha. There were even a few times that during those moments that Alpha finished her work and joined in the fight. It terrified Bucky to see how violent Alpha had become. He never knew Alpha had extensive battle training but somewhere in her brain were detailed martial arts and weapon instructions that turned her into a monster. It dawned on Bucky that that was the reason Alpha never liked fighting people; because she had the knowledge to kill them. And, she never wanted to hurt anyone despite that great power.
One day Bucky and Alpha were in an armored vehicle headed towards an old SHIELD base. It was located in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere. Both Alpha and Bucky were armed to the teeth just like the soldiers that sat on either side of them. They both wore black masks over their mouths and noses. Bucky had goggles to cover his eyes while Alpha had a strange helmet with goggles that covered her head and eyes. The helmet had a cord attached to the back of it that connected to the slot on the back of her neck.
The vehicle came to a shuddering stop. The back doors flew open and everyone inside of the vehicle hurried out. Bucky, as usual, stood by Alpha's side. Bucky shifted his rifle so it lay more comfortably in his arms. That feeling was a familiar one Bucky remembered all the way back from WWII and made him feel more secure but sick to his stomach at the same time.
Agent Nine strode at a fast pace around the vehicles to get to Bucky and Alpha. He assigned them to certain teams and gave their mission but Bucky was barely listening. It was a similar job every single time. Get Alpha in and hooked up to a computer, protect her if there's trouble, get her out; simple.
They were dismissed. Bucky went first, Alpha followed with a handful of other Hydra soldiers. Bucky waited to the side by a door. Alpha hid right behind him. Bucky's mind was completely focused on the floor plan of the SHIELD base until Alpha suddenly rested her right hand on his back. The other Hydra soldiers either huddled behind Alpha, in front of the door, or across from Bucky on the other side of the door. The soldier that stood directly across from Bucky nodded at him in question. Bucky blinked away his surprise of Alpha's gentle touch and nodded back confirmation.
"Everyone in place?" The Hydra soldier asked into the communications. There were echoes of reply. Everyone was ready. Bucky nodded at the soldier once more. The soldier threw open the door. Bucky peered inside, gun first. He quickly examined the area and when he determined it was safe, waved for Alpha to follow. Her silent feet padded after him and remained as close as she could without stepping on the backs of his heels. Bucky's mind was thrown back to Alpha's unexpected action.
Bucky had no idea whatsoever why Alpha would do that. She hadn't done it before not even as herself. Was she trying to break free? Send Bucky a message? He didn't know and couldn't take the time to ponder those questions. Their safety was more important.
They silently walked down a few hallways before finding the computer room they needed. Bucky checked the room before lowering his rifle, a signal for Alpha it was safe for her to do her work. Alpha went to the nearest computer and began typing frantically on its keyboard. While it loaded something Alpha took the end of the cord from her neck. The cord extended from her helmet until she could hover over the computer and the cord hang loosely between her and the machine. She continued to type away, ignoring the rest of the world around her.
Bucky turned away from Alpha and scanned the room once more. Just when things seemed to be running smoothly there was a crash from the end of the hall. The soldiers glanced at Bucky, who nodded for them to check it out. The rifle was back in an upright position in his arms as over half of his small troop went to investigate the sound. Bucky stepped closer to Alpha.
"We might have some trouble." Bucky murmured to Alpha.
"I'm almost finished." She replied, tersely. As another thing loaded in the computer Alpha removed the small handgun from her hip and placed it onto the desk. Bucky eyed the weapon with loathing. She had put it there so it would be easier to grab in a pinch. That was something he would have done in her position.
Guns began to fire down the hall and voices could be heard both in the earpieces but also echoing along the walls. Bucky fiercely stepped even closer to Alpha.
"We need to move." Bucky growled in a low voice.
"Not yet." Alpha eyes swiveled side to side across the large screen, making her head follow similar but more subtle motions. Thousands upon thousands of files flashed on that screen, making Bucky dizzy if he stared. Then with fast movements Alpha unplugged the cord from the computer, let it slide most of the way back into her helmet, and then snapped it back into place on her neck. Alpha went suddenly rigid. Not even seconds later her body went as limp as a ragdoll as she processed the information she had gathered. Bucky easily caught Alpha before she could land on the floor. He lowered her gently and got the up close look he needed of the centipede on the back of her neck from behind the protection of the desk.
A small ray of hope began shining in Bucky's dark heart again. The cord from her helmet went above the reach of the centipede. If he could rip off the centipede Alpha would most likely return to herself with no problems.
"How is she?" One of the Hydra soldiers asked from across the room. Bucky removed his goggles and mask.
"Fine," Bucky replied, trying hard to hide his excitement. He stood and shot the three bullets he needed for each soldier's head. Bucky was about to stoop down and rip off the dreaded machine from Alpha's neck when she snapped around. Her fist hit Bucky's cheek hard. Alpha scurried away as Bucky recoiled from the blow. She quickly got to her feet and raised her fists after pulling the goggles part of her helmet up to reveal her eyes.
"What are you doing?" Alpha asked urgently. Bucky wrinkled his nose. It was Alpha's voice but it wasn't her. He had to keep reminding himself; that girl wasn't his Alpha. Bucky took a deep breath.
"I'm saving my friend." Bucky replied. He raised his gun and shot Alpha right above her hip. Alpha grimaced and fell to the floor but made no other noise. Bucky dropped his rifle and sprinted for Alpha. She slashed out with a knife from her belt but Bucky dodged around her, knocking the knife from her hand in the process. Bucky wrenched off Alpha's mask as he passed around her. As he slid to his knees on the tile floor he wrapped one arm around her neck and placed the other hand firmly over her nose and mouth. Alpha's thin fingers pulled and tugged at Bucky's arms. She gripped his human arm with one hand then used the other to feel for her knife. Bucky could tell Alpha would pass out soon but had to be careful. He didn't want her waking up and attacking him again.
Alpha found her knife and jabbed it into Bucky's thigh. Bucky tightened his grip around her neck. Alpha began making choking sounds and abandoned her knife. She devoted her hands to scratching at Bucky's arms and face. Her nimble fingers froze around his eyes. As she took her last few breaths her fingers slid down Bucky's cheeks. Her eyes stared, wide, into Bucky's. Bucky furrowed his brow with worry. He couldn't see anything except fear in Alpha's eyes. Alpha set Bucky with such an intense stare it brought tears into his eyes. It was the kind of stare that made it seem like she wanted to tell him something but her Hydra programming was holding her back. Then Alpha's eyes closed and her limbs went limp.
Bucky let Alpha's neck go and let her fall into his arms. It was like that time, many weeks before, when she had fallen off of her bed and he had held her for a while. Only that time Alpha was herself. This time she was a puppet. Another asset for Hydra to abuse.
Bucky took the knife from his leg then laid Alpha on his lap so he could take off the centipede from her neck. He felt it with his human fingers for some easy way to remove it. Suddenly there was a click by his head.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you. If you remove that her AI might not turn back on and she will die." A male voice said overhead.
"What makes you think I can trust what you say?" Bucky growled, looking up at the man who held him at gunpoint.
"Because I make sure to know everything I can about what they do to my daughter." Bucky narrowed his eyes at the man. He looked like the typical Hydra agent with dark hair and a scruffy face but his eyes were darker than anyone's Bucky had ever seen.
"How can you let them do this to your own child?" Bucky asked darkly.
"I was waiting for the right moment to get her out. First SHIELD wouldn't let me see her but Hydra promised they would. I saw her once and all I saw was pain. They promised they would care for my girl but they lied." The man said angrily. Bucky turned his head fully and cocked it slightly to the side.
"Then we have similar agendas. I want to get Allie out more than anything. She's saved my life more than once. I owe her everything." The man lowered his gun.
"Ok, then we need to move. I know a way out of here that we won't be spotted. Follow me." The man waited by the door for Bucky and checked to see the hallway was clear. Bucky cradled Alpha in a tight ball in his arms.
"What's your name?" Bucky asked the man.
"Grant Ward." He replied without looking back at Bucky. Ward led the way at a brisk pace.
"How can I be sure I can trust you?" Bucky asked in a serious tone. Ward paused at an intersection and finally looked Bucky in the eyes.
"Honestly, you can't. But I can't trust you either. I know what you did to her for those three years." Ward glared fiercely at Bucky who glared back.
"Fine," Bucky spat between his teeth. Ward took them through the old SHIELD compound and past a few groups of Hydra guards but in the end kept his word. Soon all three of them were outside. They sprinted through the woods for miles. They didn't stop until they could pause and not hear any sounds of being followed.
"If what you say is true and I can't take this thing off by force, how do we get it off?" Bucky asked between breaths.
"I know the scientist that put it on her. I'll make her do it." Ward replied. Bucky eyed him skeptically.
"How will you do that?" Ward's face was neutral and gave no hints to what he was thinking.
"I have methods." They continued in the woods until long after the sun had set. By that point it would be very difficult for anyone to look for them so they rested against a small cliff face. Bucky bound Alpha's hands and ankles together then gently placed her against the stone. Ward watched Bucky from afar while he gathered kindling for a small fire.
"Why did you do that? If you're really her friend she won't attack you when she wakes." Ward said. Bucky laid his thick leather jacket over Alpha's legs then rubbed her cheek with a thumb before even thinking about answering Ward.
"Hydra has made her a danger to herself and others. I had to knock her out in order to get her out here at all. I think they've messed up her AI so she isn't even in control right now. If she wakes up before we can get the centipede machine from her neck she would cause a lot of trouble." Ward stacked up the kindling into a teepee shape while Bucky spoke.
"You're a legend, you know. I'm curious what changed you from the Asset into the strange man caring for my daughter." Ward stood back up and lightly crossed his arms. Bucky turned his eyes to Ward's.
"Allie did." Ward raised his eyebrows. Bucky turned back to Alpha's peaceful unconscious face. "She came along to help me remember who I was and helped me to become who I am. If I can do any good in this world then I want to do good by her. She deserves it after what she has gone through." Silence ruled in those woods for the rest of the night. Neither of the men slept that night. They didn't trust each other enough to sleep and both knew Alpha could wake at any moment. For unknown reasons she didn't. She was still out cold when the sun came back up. Before Ward could even open his mouth to ask to carry Alpha, Bucky scooped her up in his arms. Ward noticed how relaxed and confident Bucky looked while carrying Alpha. Ward began to see just how much Bucky truly cared about her.
"Why did you volunteer to be Allie's father? She told me they had people volunteer but you don't seem the type to volunteer then abandon." Bucky asked as Ward finished breaking down their little camp and removing all signs they had been there.
"I was a part of Hydra before it revealed itself from the shadows and so was also a SHIELD agent. Both parties knew I was a good agent and so Hydra higher-ups got me into the program. They didn't have to try hard, SHIELD wanted me to be a part of it anyway. People from Hydra thought I could influence Alpha as she grew up but none of us knew I wouldn't be allowed to see her at all until she was born. So, that plan was thrown out the window but she still came out a genius; which I had no part of. I was told she could read people like no one they had ever seen. I guess that's my little contribution." Ward studied Alpha's unconscious face as he spoke.
They continued to trek through the woods. The only sounds were from the forest itself. Bucky and Ward had had enough training to go around silently. It was about midmorning when they found a small Hydra searching party. Bucky placed Alpha in a safe spot where she wouldn't be able to cause much trouble or get hurt.
"I'll flank them to the left, you go to the right. Just take them all out and we'll take one of their vehicles." Ward said under his breath so only Bucky could hear him. Bucky nodded tersely.
"Leave none alive. We can't risk anyone telling where they saw us. The last thing we need is Hydra on our tail when Alpha wakes up." Bucky added. Ward nodded back in a similar fashion. They parted ways and took care of the Hydra soldiers quickly and efficiently. Before long Bucky and Ward were piling up the bodies behind and under some thick bushes. They gathered the weapons they deemed necessary then headed for the SUV the searching party had been using. Bucky placed Alpha in the back and made sure she was as comfortable as he could get her to be before turning towards the driver's seat. Ward and Bucky locked eyes as Ward held his hand, frozen on the door to the driver's seat.
"Got a problem?" Ward asked, his voice low and threatening.
"You know I don't trust you." Bucky said. Ward nodded and shifted his weight between his feet.
"Ah, I see how it is. You don't trust me enough to stay back with Allie while I drive. But you also don't trust me enough to sit back with Allie while you drive. Am I wrong?" Bucky set his jaw and clenched his fists.
"You're right. I don't trust you at all. But, if you really are Allie's father I won't separate you from her completely." Ward had opened the door slightly but after Bucky had said his piece he slammed it shut.
"You won't separate me from her completely? What give you the right to choose that?"
"I've been with Allie for two and a half months now and she has made no mention of you. You could be an agent for Hydra following us and keeping tabs on us for Hydra to swoop in and capture us again." Bucky's voice rose. Ward frowned deeply and his nostrils flared.
"Maybe she didn't get a chance to because you have been hovering over her and keeping her hostage for two and a half months?" The muscles in Bucky's shoulders tightened.
"Things were a bit tight between us when we first started but we understand each other a lot more now. I get that she was afraid of me for years but things have changed." Bucky took a breath. "I have changed."
"How well do you really know her? Do you really know if she isn't still afraid of you? Do you know what her favorite food is? Favorite color? Did you know the first machine she ever made was a prosthetic leg for the cat they gave her at SHIELD for comfort that accidentally got out and run over by a car?" Ward's voice was rising steadily and seemed to get a bit choked towards the end.
"Did you know you were so unimportant to her during her childhood she calls Clint Barton her father?" Ward's eyes grew wide and his face red. "She plans on living with him and his family out on a farm after she and I are finished." Bucky added, with a great deal of spite in his voice.
"SHIELD kept me away from her. They gave me mission after mission to keep me busy. They never told me any progress about her growing up. I had to look it up myself. I fought to be with her! I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to be with my daughter!" Ward began shouting. Some birds suddenly burst from their spots in the trees and scattered into the sky. Bucky and Ward both took deep breaths to calm their boiling blood before a fight could break out.
"Fine then," Bucky murmured. "You drive." Bucky opened the door into the back, where Alpha was laying, then slammed the door once he had entered. Ward banged the driver's side door shut as well. He started the SUV then pulled it onto a dirt road through the woods.
They rode in tense silence for over an hour. Bucky kept his right hand on Alpha's shoulder to steady her on the rough dirt roads. Her head sat by Bucky's leg and brushed up against the outside of his thigh every now and again. She seemed very cramped with her knees near her chest but her feet pressed against the door and her head nearly on Bucky's lap. He hoped she wouldn't mind but then had to remind himself she was still asleep and most likely didn't care or even know where she was. Bucky decided to break the silence.
"Where does this scientist live?" Bucky asked, trying to be civil.
"She has been living in an underground compound about thirty miles from the SHIELD base we were at. She lives with a few Hydra agents to protect her and her work but they'll be easy to take out." Ward answered, also trying to be friendlier. Not knowing they were each thinking the same thoughts, Ward and Bucky both concluded in order for Alpha to be better taken care of they would need to work together.
Bucky settled back against his seat. His hand rubbed a small section of Alpha's shoulder. A muscle in her shoulder suddenly twitched. Bucky looked down and studied her with narrowed eyes. Her face scrunched up before her eyes opened.
"Allie?" Bucky asked. Ward glanced back from the road a few times to catch what was happening. Alpha attempted to move her arms then realized they were cuffed behind her back. She began to pull and struggle against her bonds.
"Allie! You're safe. We're away from Hydra and almost home free." Bucky tried to reassure her. He placed his hands on her shoulders but she recoiled, growling low in her throat. Alpha rolled onto her back while slipping her wrists under her feet and brining her arms in front of her. Bucky acted quickly and picked up Alpha. His large arms wrapped easily around her torso, keeping her arms pinned down. Alpha kicked the door by her feet banging Bucky's head against the window behind him. Alpha twisted in his arms and kicked her feet at Ward's head. The car swerved violently. Alpha twisted out of Bucky's grasp and landed on the other side of the SUV, facing him. Right as his metal hand flew towards her, Alpha lifted her legs to protect herself. His fist broke the bonds he had put around her ankles. Motion forced her feet to continue and one of them collided with the side of Bucky's head, throwing him back against the other side of the car. Alpha turned on a dime for the door her back was facing and opened it. She tossed herself out and painfully rolled in the dirt.
"Stop!" Bucky shouted. Ward pressed both of his feet onto the brake once he had regained control. Bucky jumped through the door Alpha had already opened. He tried to ignore the growing pain from the side of his head and the wet feeling dripping down his temple. Alpha got to her feet very slowly, dazed. Bucky grimaced. Large and small scratches covered Alpha's face, neck, and arms. They were covered with dirt and blood. Alpha was a grizzly sight and it pained Bucky to see her like that. Her eyes burrowed into his from the many yards away. As they stared, her body healed right before their eyes.
"Allie?" Bucky called. Alpha's face remained unchanged. "I know you're in there! Fight it! Come back!" He added. Alpha's shoulders slightly rose and fell with her deep breaths.
"Allie, look at me." Ward came up beside Bucky. "You don't need to run from us. You're safe." Alpha's eyes snapped to lock with Ward's. Still, there was no change in Alpha's face. Ward's face fell.
"She doesn't remember you." Bucky said quietly. "It's as though they took her mind out of her body and replaced it with something else."
"She has to remember something." Ward took a few aggressive steps toward Alpha. "I know there has to be a piece of you that knows us." Alpha's eyebrows knit together with worry.
"Don't test her. She could take me on before they upgraded her. Now she's about on the same level as me." Bucky warned.
"She has to remember something, anything. Please remember me!" Ward's voice began rising higher as his urgency to calm Alpha down and get his daughter back increased.
"I don't know you!" Alpha shouted back. Ward stopped short with his mouth agape. "I don't… I can't…." Alpha's face morphed into an expression of fear, doubt, and confusion. Tears welled up in Ward's eyes. Bucky watched the scene and memories began to resurface in his mind. That was the same state he was in when he took Alpha. It horrified him to see how he must have looked from Alpha's perspective. A new sense of respect for Alpha grew as Bucky remembered how strong and independent Alpha seemed while Bucky struggled to remember. He knew, then, he had to be that same kind of rock for her as she dealt with the same problems.
"It's ok, Allie." Bucky raised a loose, reassuring hand up towards Alpha. She glanced down at his hand then up at his face a few times. "We won't hurt you. We're here to help you. Do you understand?" Bucky's voice was so calm it even gave Ward hope. Alpha stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground. Her legs were shaking and heart pounding. Bucky got a few paces closer.
"Look at me," Bucky's voice was near a whisper. Alpha's eyes darted around, much like a cornered wild animal would. "Focus on my face." Bucky's metal hand reached to the back of his belt. There was a tranquilizer there. Alpha's eyes burrowed into Bucky's. Her eyes narrowed.
"So dark," Alpha murmured. Bucky knelt down about a yard away from where Alpha sat. "Your eyes are still so dark." She added. Like lightning Bucky whipped out the tranquilizer gun and shot her in the shoulder. Alpha collapsed like a limp rag doll. Bucky let out a deep exhale.
"Is the SUV still working?" Bucky asked Ward over his shoulder as he scooped up Alpha.
"Yeah, I'll get it ready. If we have no more troubles I'll be able to get us there before dark." Ward replied on his way to the car.
"I thought you said her base was about thirty miles out? That will take us into the night." Ward paused at the driver's side door with Bucky hot on his heels.
"I'll get us there before sunset." Ward growled.