I'm deeply sorry for the extremely long wait, but stuff happened this year and I ended up having to put IrregularS on hiatus until recently.
First of all, work. For those of you still in school, don't think that not having to study at home will net you more free time. Quite the opposite, really.
Second, I had troubles setting up the rest of the story. When I originally came up with the plot, I had most of the initial happenings set out but a lot of empty space between core happenings in the later part of the story, as the projected lenght was between 15 and 20 chapters. However, as time went on I ended up not having ideas for most of that empty space - with the result that I blocked myself into a dead end, as I planned on using these "fillers" to advance some little plot points. After some futile attempts at making up what was basically filler content, I decided to streamline the remaining plot by basically trimming out those placeholders and reworking the other parts, something that took me some time.
This will make the story much shorter - maybe even less than 15 chapters - but it will let me concentrate on the important parts and also finish IrregularS before the next Ice Age.
As usual, I want to thank Desdendelle and Karrin Blue for their betaing and support.
Chapter 10 - Executive Meddling
"... So you're some sort of alien space police?" Sayaka asked. The blue-haired girl was sitting in the Asura's conference room, where Lindy, Nanoha and Fate were explaining what exactly the Bureau was to her, Kyoko and Mami.
"In a way, though the Dimensional Navy I am serving in is more similar to your planet's military forces than to a police force," the Admiral corrected her, "and the Bureau itself is more like an hybrid government and peacekeeping force."
"And don't worry, the TSAB is not out to conquer the galaxy," Nanoha added after noticing the still wary looks of the Puellae, "the policy with Non-Administrated Worlds like Earth actually is to avoid contact with locals unless strictly necessary."
"Don't worry, never suspected that." Kyoko said while studying the tray of cookies they had been offered. The redhead had never seen aqua green jam before, after all. "Still, I'd like to know what's up with Kyubey then."
Nanoha exchanged a quick look with Homura, who gave a single nod, and started explaining. The truth about the Puella Magi system, the Incubators' intentions, and the Bureau's findings and plans to stop them.
"I will understand if you don't want to believe me, but... Well, this is all." Nanoha finished. The three Puella Magi in front of her were understandably shocked - Kyoko had even stopped eating while in the middle of a pastry - but none of them seemed to be going to have a breakdown, which was a good thing.
The first one to speak was indeed the red-haired girl, also helped by the fact that she had already heard some of it before. "Well, damn. Kyubey was already rubbing me the wrong way, but now I want to make a shishkebab out of him. You'd better find a way to cancel our contracts fast, 'cause I don't wanna become a Witch myself."
"I'm afraid we'll need you help with that," Lindy said. "While we were able to analyze some Grief Seeds and do some quick scans of Homura's Soul Gem, she didn't had the time to allow us to study it more closely. What I'm asking for, is for you to spend some time here on the Asura to allow our scientists to study your magic more closely and eventually attempt to bring your souls and Linker Cores back into your bodies. I know, asking you to be our test subjects is rude, but-"
"If that will make me stop being this... Zombie and back into being an human being, then I'll be first." Sayaka interrupted her.
"Hey, stop it here Shining Blue Knight," Kyoko reprimanded her, "were talking about experimenting stuff here. If something goes wrong with our souls, we're dead. And you still have a family, friends and all. As much as you hate being a zombie, they'd suffer much more if you were to become full dead. So let the misfits like me risk their soul first."
Sayaka looked at Kyoko in surprise. She didn't expect the redhead to express any concern about her well-being, and yet here she was.
"Now, don't think I like you. You're still a pretty stubborn idiot to me," Kyoko said while offering one of the pastries to Sayaka, "but that doesn't mean we can't be friends after all, right?"
"It's pretty easy to offer something if you didn't pay for it, right?" Sayaka snarked at her, but accepted the sweet anyways and took a bite out of it.
The blue-haired girl nearly choked on it. "What the...? It's spicy! Kyoko, this is not the moment for-"
"Whoa, whoa, easy there Bluehead. I didn't do anything to that pastry. That jam's got a pretty interesting flavour, isn't it?"
Lindy suppressed a laugh. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought here the pepperberry flavoured ones after all..."
Homura sighed in relief as the atmosphere relaxed a bit. The black-haired girl had kept a Beretta M9 pistol hidden under her clothes in case Mami had another "We should all die!" style breakdown, but the blonde girl seemed to have taken the news much better, to the point she was already smiling at Kyoko and Sayaka's bickering.
The meeting was interrupted by a rather distressed Amy. "Madam," she said as she ran into the room, "we just received a communication from the Cassandra."
Lindy raised an eyebrow. "The Cassandra? Admiral of the Navy Yaris' ship?"
"Yes. They will be here in about an hour. He wants to speak to you eye-to-eye... he sounded scary."
Lindy smiled to her reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. We've got our insurance."
Lindy, Nanoha, Fate and all the other personnel on the bridge saluted as Yaris entered the room accompanied by two officers. All the Puella Magi were there too, as it was clear that what Yaris wanted to talk about was the Incubator incident.
"Welcome aboard, sir," the Admiral greeted him, though her eyes clearly showed that Yaris actually wasn't quite welcome.
"I don't want to lose any time, so I'll cut directly to the matter at hand," Yaris said, skipping the formal greetings, "Admiral Harlaown, your handling of this incident is completely unsatisfactory. As such, I'm taking direct control of the operation. You and your crew are relieved of this assignment and are to return to Mid-Childa immediately."
"Sir, may I know why my conduct was deemed unsatisfactory?" Lindy asked. The Admiral tried to keep an impassible face, but inside she was deeply concerned.
"Failure to act against a possible Class-6 planetary destruction on an Unadministered World."
"Sir, with due respect we are doing that."
"How? By having little skirmishes between TSAB operatives and the so-called Puella Magi? We know that the Class-6 event is tied to this Madoka Kaname girl - the only proper action you could have taken is remove her from the picture."
Homura clenched her fists while Lindy tried to get Yaris to reason. The Admiral of the Navy hadn't given up on his idea of giving Madoka to the Incubators in exchange for them to leave Earth, or even kill her.
The black-haired girl started considering her possibilities. Take him out right there? It was clear that it was going to be either him or Madoka, and the choice was obvious.
Of course there was the Auto-Guard feature of basically every TSAB Device to take in account, but her time-stop was more than enough to take care of it. The main problem was choosing the right weapon, she couldn't risk the bullets over penetrating and bouncing around the ship.
The M9 she was already carrying was the right choice. While in her time stop, the bullets travelled about five meters before being affected, meaning that she could fire several bullets just in the right place to make sure there wouldn't be enough time for the Auto-Guard function to act, or for Yaris to bring up a Barrier Jacket when she released the time stop.
But was killing him there the right choice? It would put Nanoha, Lindy and all the other people there in trouble.
"I don't care about your concerns, Admiral. That girl is too dangerous to be left around. Even my previous considerations of giving her to the Incubators, or other solutions like keeping her in containment are too dangerous - as she is, Madoka Kaname is potentially a world-destroying weapon. Elimination is the only sensible choice."
"Sir, you're advocating the cold-blooded murder of a fourteen years old girl!"
"Kill one to save billions, Admiral. Sometimes, what would be considered a murder is the only choice."
Homura's trigger finger started to itch. Yaris had already decided everything - according to his plan, Madoka was to be sacrificed. However, she also couldn't kill him there. The Puella Magi hesitated.
Sayaka didn't bother thinking this much. In a blink, she was already transformed and with one of her cutlasses dangerously close to Yaris' neck.
The two officers at Yaris' side transformed and aimed their Devices at the blue-haired girl, and one of them yelled at Sayaka to put her weapon away.
"Now, now. I'm already having a very bad day, discovering that I've been tricked by Kyubey, I'm some sort of zombie and I risk becoming something even worse just by using magic," she said with an eerily relaxed voice, "and here comes some fat guy with more medals than brains telling me he is going to kill my best friend."
Sayaka leaned forward, pressing her blade just enough to draw a trickle of blood from Yaris. Only then the Admiral of the Navy noticed the deranged look on the girl's face.
"Guess what? I really want to kill you now, and I might even do it. How it feels to be the one whose life is being threatened? Huh? Huh?"
"Sayaka, I'm very sorry!" Nanoha screamed from behind her. Sayaka turned her head around.
"Wha-"
Raising Heart's "head" connected to her face, knocking her out cold.
[Master, I am not designed as a melee weapon.]
"I'm sorry, Raising Heart, it was an emergency,"
"That was close," Homura commented. She was kneeling near Sayaka's unconscious body, holding a Grief Seed close to her Soul Gem, "if you didn't stop her she would've Witched out here and now."
Yaris wiped his forehead with a handkerchief, a small magic circle already taking care of his cut. "I guess I have to thank you, First Lieutenant. At least you seem to understand the situation."
"I understand it fully, Admiral," Nanoha replied with a firm tone, "and that's why I am not going to hand over the case."
Yaris clenched his fists. "First Lieutenant, this is insubordination! I'll have you transferred to toilet cleaning duties on the farthest forgotten stone in the galaxy if you-"
Nanoha narrowed her eyes. "Sir, with due respect, you can't. I'm under direct orders from General Miata to solve the Incubator incident and especially defend Madoka Kaname's life against every threat, including those coming from inside the Bureau. As your rank is equivalent to Miata's but you're from a different branch, you don't have the authority to give me orders conflicting with his own, and this includes taking over my case."
Yaris crossed his arms. "I'll concede this. But I want to see how long you'll be able to keep hold of this case, without the support of the Asura. Admiral Harlaown is my direct subordinate, and I'm ordering her back at Mid-Childa right now. This only leaves you and Enforcer Testarossa-Harlaown."
"That's incorrect, sir. You mentioned the concrete risk of a Class-6 planetary destruction related to the case I'm in charge of - this allows me to requisite all personnel, vehicles, gear and infrastructures needed to prevent it without needing any authorization to. So, I'm requisitioning the Asura and all of her crew to support me in this operation. Any complaints are to be filed to General Miata."
"It doesn't end here, First Lieutenant Takamachi."
"It does," said a voice from behind him. Yaris turned around, and found himself facing the aforementioned General.
"Miata? You here?"
"I was afraid you would attempt something like that, Yaris, so I decided to pay a little visit to our Ace of Aces' home planet. It goes without saying that I'm extremely appalled, and that since the Asura and all of her personnel are currently under Air Force command you have no business being on board now."
"You'll regret this, Miata. You'll all regret this," Yaris growled as he hurried to the ship's teleporter, quickly followed by his escort.
"I'm afraid that opened a whole new can of troubles, sir. We hurt his pride," Lindy commented once Yaris couldn't hear her.
"I know, Admiral," Miata agreed before sighing. "But it should buy us some time to find something good enough to get the three Legendary Admirals to back us and not him."
Miata then noticed that Nanoha was still in the salute position since he entered the room and smiled. "At ease, First Lieutenant. I didn't manage to get here before Yaris, but you kept him in check just perfectly."
"Thank you, sir!"
Sayaka woke up and started looking around in confusion. "Uh... what happened? Where's the fat idiot?"
Kyoko walked to her and looked down. "Gone. Gundam Girl here had to knock you out before you turned him into a shishkebab, and then proceeded to own him in a military-speech contest."
The red-haired girl pulled Sayaka up. "C'mon, there's a more pleasant one here now. An Ally of Justice would never do something as rude as not introducing herself, would she?
"... I guess."
"And we also should get you some anger management lessons. Really, I thought I was a brash street criminal but you're worse."
"Pffft," Sayaka rebutted as she finally got her bearings straight, "worse than you? It's never going to happen."
"I never killed anyone, and you came close twice."
"... Point."
"I do agree that Admiral of the Navy Yaris isn't a pleasant person, but I'd advise against killing him outright," Miata said, "I have to admit that seeing him that scared was fun, though. Anyways, my name is Frederic Miata, and I am a TSAB Air Force General. Or Nanoha's boss, if that's easier to understand."
"So, uh... Miki Sayaka, nice to meet you?" Sayaka said uncertainly.
"Don't be scared. I'm on your side, and I'll let your... eagerness in defending your friend's life slide. I can assure that's one of our goals, though. Now, can we find a comfortable place to assess the situation?"
The following day, Sayaka met Hitomi on the way to school. While they were waiting for Madoka to arrive, Hitomi coughed to politely catch Sayaka's attention.
"What is it?"
"Can we meet after school? I have something important to tell you, and you alone."
Sayaka gave her a puzzled stare, but couldn't inquire more as Madoka arrived in that exact moment.
"So, what did you want to talk to be about?" Sayaka said before taking a bite out of her hot-dog.
"It is about Kamijo," Hitomi said, calm as usual.
"Kyosuke? What's the matter?"
"I know that you've been in love with him since you were kids, and I respect that. However... I am too."
Well, wasn't expecting that, Sayaka thought.
"I believe that you have precedence over me, so I will give you one week to confess to him. If you do and he accepts your feelings, I won't get in the way. But if you don't confess, I will."
Sayaka's thoughts about the offer will be censored.
Nanoha and Madoka sat at one of the Midori-ya's tables.
"So, what did you want to ask me?" Nanoha said.
"Well, it's... I don't understand what's going on. You said you're a mage, and Sayaka says you're a space cop now... Can you explain?"
Nanoha nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry, I should've already done that. See, I work for-"
Her explanation was interrupted by Sayaka entering the Midori-ya slamming the door. Why every time I'm explaining something someone interrupts me? Nanoha thought.
Sayaka looked around in panic before setting her eyes on the mage. "You! I need you now!"
"What's the matter, Sayaka? a Witch?" Nanoha asked. As an answer, Sayaka ran over to her and started dragging her out of the café.
The blue haired girl stopped right in front of the door before going back and grabbing Madoka with the other hand. "I need you too!"
"What the heck is going on there? Don't tell me that..." a voice said from the kitchen. The voice was then followed by its owner entering the room.
Sayaka stopped her second attempt to drag people out of the cafè. "... Kyoko? That's you?"
The red haired girl put her fists at her sides. "Well, yeah. I work here, remember?"
Sayaka blinked. "And why you're wearing a maid uniform?"
"... Don't ask."
A few days earlier...
"No way I'm wearing that!" Kyoko screamed as Momoko brought out her uniform.
"Why not? It's cute!" Momoko said. "Besides, this month we're experimenting with a maid café, so you would be the only one who doesn't."
Kyoko crossed her arms. "Cute? I'm a street delinquent. I have an image to keep."
Momoko thought it up. "Let's see... What about a bet? Miyuki is training at the dojo right now. You can spar together, and if you win against her I'll let you wear what you want at work."
Kyoko grinned. From the little she had seen of Miyuki's cooking, she appeared to be the typical clumsy bespectacled girl, and she didn't have any magical power either. It was going to be easy.
"... And that day I discovered that Gundam Girl's badassery runs in the family, and that you shouldn't judge someone's combat skill from their cooking."
Kyoko decided that it was best to leave out that Miyuki managed to beat her while wearing a maid uniform herself.
"... I see." Sayaka said. "Wait, everyone?"
"Yes," Nanoha explained, "I didn't have time to change yet as I was speaking with Madoka, but-"
"... Even your cousin?"
"She drew even a shorter stick than me, actually. Hey, Homerun, come here!"
Homura poked her head out of the kitchen. "What is it... Oh."
Sayaka blinked again "... Why the glasses and braids?"
What's this weird feeling, Madoka thought as she marveled at Homura's newfound cuteness, it's like something switched on inside me...
"I used to wear them when I was younger, and Aunt Momoko thought it would've looked good with the uniform."
"Well, I do have to admit that you look cute, but-" Sayaka conceded.
"She's very cute!" Madoka squealed, running over to the black-haired girl, "Can I hug you? Please?"
Homura blushed, embarrassed by the offer. "Uh, sure..."
Madoka squeezed the poor girl in a very enthusiastic tackle hug. I'm in Heaven, Homura thought.
From a nearby rooftop, Fate nodded at how the situation was evolving. "I knew you had the potential, Homura."
"I agree," said someone on her side. The mage turned around to discover that Mami had sneaked up there as well.
"... What are you doing here, exactly?" Fate asked.
"I could ask you the same question."
"... Point."
"So, what's the matter, Sayaka?" Nanoha asked once everyone (including the two roof dwellers) were assembled around a table.
"Your scientists will be able to make me human again by the end of this week, right? Right?"
"Uh, I don't know... I'm afraid not. Why?"
"Damn! How am I supposed to be able to confess to Kyosuke while I... Oh. Uh."
Sayaka looked around, having just realized that she admitted her crush to everyone in the room.
"It's fine," Fate reassured her, "we had all realized by now."
Sayaka blinked. "Oh... Well, the problem is, if I don't confess to him Hitomi will, but I can't do that as a zombie!"
"Why not? Maybe he's a necrophiliac," Kyoko said, earning a stare from all the girls. "Just saying."
"Well, besides, we're not actually zombies," Mami reminded her, "So even until the TSAB finds a solution we're still human, or at least close enough."
"Goldilocks' right, no rotting flesh or brain cravings for us." Kyoko agreed. "Besides, we can always buy you enough time by giving this Hitomi girl a good beating. It will put her out of commission for a while, and she'll think twice about stealing your sweetheart afterwards."
Sayaka slammed her hands on the table. "I can't do that! She's one of my best friends!"
"She's right," Nanoha agreed, "violence doesn't solve anything."
The other girls coughed.
"Well, I was attacked first and they didn't listen!"
The girls coughed more and Nanoha headdesked. "I don't do it on purpose, I swear..."