Learning To Love
CHAPTER 10
Summary: We have some catch up time with the gang and Mikasa suggests something for Eren to do.
Chapter 10: Learning To Socialize
Time was dragging. It felt like this lesson was going on forever. History/geography is my worst subject by far. It's not like I don't want to learn anything, it's that I'm incapable of doing good; even when I tried. The teacher was babbling on about something to do with the way bushfires work, but for the life of me I wouldn't be able to recount or understand what she was going on non-stop about.
We were currently learning about things to do with geography, as that's the subject that we were on at the moment. The school decided to mix History and Geography together so you learn about one in the first half of the school year and then the other in the remaining half. Thus, here we are pointlessly learning about bushfires of all things. The things they enforce upon us to learn.
We barely ever get bushfires over here anyway. The country with the highest risk of them is Australia. Why should we be forced to learn about such a useless thing to us? My notebook that was actually open in front of me for once had near to nothing written inside of it, I don't see the point in me even trying when I'm just going to fail anyway.
Now the old hag that was up the front was drawing a diagram that looked to be vertical lines with bumpy circles on top of them and jagged circles below them. She should never become an art teacher. She takes the whiteboard marker in hand again and draws in more vertical lines, that were shorter than the others, and puts them below and between the vertical lines with bumpy circles on top. Definitely should never become an art teacher.
She now labels the lines and indicates that the long lines with bumpy circles are in fact supposed to be trees and the short lines between them are leaf litter and dry grass and the jagged circles are fire blazes. How those drawings are supposed to be their indicated figures, I have no idea, but apparently that's what they're supposed to be.
She continues to ramble on about what each object means and its input to bushfires. It's obvious what each one does though, why would you need to be taught that? I don't pay any attention – as usual – to the teacher's rambling and simply draw little patterns in my book as I wait for the bell to ring and signal that this period is over.
A scribble here and a scribble there and the next thing I know, my whole page is covered in swirls and circles and many other designs to make a massive pattern. The bell rings and the whole class rushes to pack up their belongings and flee the classroom, myself doing the same.
"Eren, stay back after class please, I need to have a word with you." Miss What's-Her-Face asked of me. Doesn't bother me, it's not like I had anything better to do. I continue to pack my things and wait for the rest of the class to leave before walking up to her desk where she had remained. "Eren, you're not paying any attention in class. Ever. You never take notes; if you want to pass this class, I'm sorry to say, but you're going to have to study and take notes." She thinks I don't know this already. I'm not going to argue with her, there's seriously no point anyway.
"Yes Miss, sorry. I'll take notes next time."
"Eren, I'm serious ok. I don't know what has been going on in your personal life," How dare she play the 'personal life' card. Now I can feel the anger beginning to boil up inside of me. "but I truly do want you to pass this class. We can do after school tutoring if you'd like?" Ew no. I don't want to spend any more time than necessary with you.
"That's fine Miss. No need to go to extremes," Literally. "I'll be going now?" I phrase it as a question just in case she planned on talking to me more.
"Yes that's all. Have a nice lunch now. Bye." She turns back to her work and I turn to leave as I pick up my bag from where I rested it on the floor beside my feet. As I walk out the door I am greeted by Mikasa who was standing beside the door out of my sight.
"Why did you have to stay in?" She instantly greets me with a question.
"She wants me to actually take notes and try. I do try… sometimes."
"Eren, you can't just not try. You'll be failed and have to retake the year." People really shouldn't talk to me when I'm not in the mood. Especially about this.
"Mikasa I know. I have tried, but this class just isn't my thing. It's just history and geography anyway. What is that going to help me with in the future? Nothing. That's what." I leave it at that to let her think over it or whatever she wants and she just huffs a sigh. She says 'come on' and we both walk down the hallway to the cafeteria. I've never really liked sitting in the cafeteria; too many people for my liking. I'm happy to just sit outside with one person, or even just myself. I'm not really a people person.
As we make our way through the crowds of the lunch room to our table, Mikasa asks me if I wanted to go and get some food with her as a little treat, to which I said that I'm fine. We continue to shuffle and push our way past everyone, me using Mikasa as a sort of path maker as I walk behind her, until we finally get to our known table that we have always sat at.
"Hey guys! You're finally here. What happened last week? Neither of you came to school at all." Sasha had spoken up as Mikasa and I walked up to the group. We never got in touch with them last week since we both had to stay home to take care of Aysen. Jean and Armin knew what was up of course, they mustn't have said anything to the others then it seems.
"Yeah, last week was really busy, sorry. Just, you know how I said that my mum was pregnant?" She sits down on the seat, in front of Sasha who was on the table – that was her signature seat – and next to Connie, as she speaks. "Well her water broke on the Friday that I had to leave school straight away in first period, and so she had the baby – who I named Aysen, he is a boy – but my mother didn't make it," Mikasa seemed to emotionless. She'd be choking on her words if it were last week. What happened to you Mikasa? "So last week Eren and I were organising the small funeral and taking care of Aysen. The funeral was on Saturday."
"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry Mikasa-" Connie starts but Mikasa cuts him off.
"Yeah it's fine. She's ok. I'm sure that wherever she is, she's happy." Wow. She sure has just gotten over it.
"Oh, well it's good that it's not getting you down, hey?" Connie tries his best to stop the awkward from overtaking the atmosphere.
"Yeah." She has a solemness to her attitude now and no one comment anymore.
"So how is the baby? Aysen was it?" Sasha speaks up this time and puts a small roll of bread in her mouth as she finishes her question. At least she stayed the same.
"Yeah, he's great. He doesn't cry too much luckily. But when he does it's difficult to make him stop. Even if you give him everything that he needs. But, we did find out that he just adores Eren." She looks at me at that point and I shrug my shoulders.
"Awww, who would've known that you'd be so good with babies! So what did you do to find out he adores him?" Sasha spoke with her mouth full of chewed bread she was so excited over this news. Ew.
"We were shopping for dinner on Saturday and I had to quickly get something so I gave him to Eren, and when I tried to take him back, he almost started crying. And then he also had a nap with him and he was so peaceful. He just naturally loves Eren."
"Awwww, that's so cutee~" Sasha has her hands in fists next to her face and her arms are squishing her body as she does this little wiggle thing. "I have to come over and see him!"
"Yeah, sure. Are we all free after school today?" Mikasa enquires of everyone to see if they can make plans for today. Everyone confirms that they are free from anything today and so the plan is made that everyone – Jean, Armin, Connie and Sasha – will be coming over this afternoon to see Aysen. Great.
"So, we'll meet out the front and all walk together? Or will we hitch a ride with Armin and Jean?" Connie speaks up this time and Jean answers for us.
"I can give some of us a ride. It'll be easier since then I don't have to walk back and get my car. What d'you think Arm?"
"Yeah, that's fine with me. So we'll meet at the parking lot then?"
"Yep. We'll meet there and head off." The bell rings at that moment, indicating the end of lunch and we all grab our things and head of to our next class, bidding each other goodbye and 'see you later's.
The bell finally rings for the end of school and everyone – including myself – is rushing to escape this hell hole. I make my way to the car park to meet up with everyone so that we could head back to Mikasa's altogether. When I turn the corner to said place, I see that Armin, Mikasa and Connie are already there and in the distance I see Sasha and Jean making their way from the other side.
Sasha runs up to the cars excitedly and starts squealing and hopping from each foot like she needs to pee. "Ahh, I'm so excited! We're going to see the baby~" I finish making my way over and stand next to the car, waiting for the others to get ready so we can go.
"So, who's going in which car?" Armin speaks up as Jean finally trots his horse ass over.
"Well I can fit 4 comfortably, as can you, and there's 6 of us altogether."
"I'll go with Armin, I prefer his driving. I feel safe knowing that he isn't driving with hooves." I really couldn't help myself. It's been too long not fighting with Jean. It's just so satisfying to fight with him.
"Excuse me Jaeger? What was that? I couldn't hear you over your whining." And here we go. I can practically hear the bells for the fighting arena dinging to signal the start of our match.
"I do not whine. Your long ears just can't tell the difference between actually speaking and neighing of your kin." I speak with a slightly majestic or what people would say to be a 'posh' accent when I say the last part. I can see his toothy, evil grin from my remark. He enjoys this just as much as I do.
"At least my 'kin' have good looks. Yours must have ascended from the dumpsters and swamps. Especially with the smells you emit. Are you an Ogre? Shrek, is that you?" He says the last part so seriously, one would think he was actually completely serious in what he was saying and not just insulting me
"Ah, and you must be my loyal steed Donkey! It's great to finally find you my friend! Where have you been all this time?" We are both grinning now, we know that we're both joking around and it's great that we can just click like that. Our fights don't always end up being physical, although that's extremely rare if they don't end up being so eventually.
"Ah you know, going around, doing what a loyal steed does. So, Shrek, can you tell me, is it true that your dad tried to put an apple in your mouth and eat you?" Ok, he doesn't know about my family issues, only Mikasa and Armin do, and I trust them enough to have not snitched about it. So Jean doesn't actually mean what he said, but I can't help but be extremely offended. The hot-heated teenager in me gets over raged and I step up to Jean with a ferocious face that I probably look like I could eat his face off with just my anger alone.
"What the fuck was that Kirstein?!"
"O-kay. That's enough. No more friendly insults. Let's go now; I do not want to clean up you two's blood today, alright." Mikasa interferes by stepping between us – facing towards me – with her hand on Horse Faces chest and the other on my shoulder. She sends me a warning look, telling me with her eyes what I already know: he doesn't know just how much he hit the jackpot and thus I don't actually have any authority to get angry at him.
I huff a breath and turn to Armin's car and walk towards the passenger seat. "Let's just go home already." I speak in a completely over with everything and defeated voice, feeling exactly how I sound. No one comments on it and Mikasa gets in with Jean along with Connie and Sasha tags along with Armin and I.
The short ride to Mikasa's was filled with the sound of the radio and Sasha singing to it. Armin had joined in after a little while when a song that he actually knew came on, and they both jammed out to it. It honestly was a hilarious song for Armin to be singing to – and dancing as well – and Sasha was just going completely nuts in the backseat as she jammed out to it.
They both did a great job of dissipating the awkward and tense atmosphere in the car after what happened with Jean and Armin's knowledge of what triggered me and Sasha's ignorance of that knowledge. Armin was rolling his body as much as he could, keeping it to a safe level of body rolling since he was the dedicated driver and Sasha went full out, raising her hands up and rubbing them down her body somewhat seductively as she sang the lyrics in and out of tune.
Armin knew what set me off with Jean, Sasha didn't, but she still always tries her best to try and lighten the mood in every situation, it's practically second nature to her she doesn't even have to think about trying to brighten the mood. I really do have good friends.
The song finishes and they both laugh at themselves, me giving in a small chuckle and smile, and we park on the curb of Mikasa's house. Armin kills the engine and we all unbuckle and exit the car, the others park just after us. The baby sitter that we had to hire since no one would be home had parked in the drive way and I walk up to the front door and knock for her to open it since I found it locked and didn't have my spare keys that Mikasa got for me.
The rest of the group waddle up behind me, all chattering excitedly at the aspect of getting to see the new addition the family, as the door opens to the, probably in her early 20's, baby sitter that is holding Aysen in her arms. Sasha squeals at the sight of him and the sitter just smiles.
"Hey Petra, how was he?" Mikasa steps forward and speaks to her.
"Oh he was amazing! I've honestly never looked after such a well behaved baby. He was a complete charm, didn't even cry once." This brings a smile to everyone's face and it was at that point that he just had to start making his little noises of protest; he wants to be passed on.
"Op, Eren, you better take him so I can fetch the money." Why is it always me? I do as she says and take the offered baby from the confused woman.
"When he makes that sound it means that you better make him happy or he will cry like there's no tomorrow." I explain to her and she nods in understanding. It honestly was a fairly strange sound for a baby to make, he sounds constipated really.
"Luckily all we have to do is give him to Eren and he'll be happy with anything though. Sometimes it's actually worse because then you don't know if he's hungry or soiled his nappy." They all chuckle at that – it is an actual problem though, he was in my lap and I didn't even realise – and Petra moves aside for Mikasa to walk in and everyone to follow. "Okay, you guys can go wait in the lounge room and I'll go get the money for you." Petra nods and Mikasa scurries off, leaving us to head to the set destination.
I sit down on the couch, Armin placing himself next to me and Sasha on my other side, and Jean and Connie stand facing us. Petra was standing a bit away so that she can obtain her payment and leave.
"Awww, he's just so adorable. He's only a week old isn't he?!" I nod and she quietly squeals again. "Ahhh, can I hold him? Pleaaaassse." I chuckle at her childlike mannerisms and pass him to her – he didn't start crying for once, must be because I'm still so close to him and he's curious as to who she is.
She smiles at him and tickles his belly and plays with his hands when he swings them about. He's in a very playful mood today luckily, well, more so than usual. He grabs on to her fingers, as he always does when there are any in his reach, and she wiggles her fingers in his grasp. Aysen starts giggling and kicking his feet and Sasha continues to coo at him.
"So why the name Aysen?" Connie speaks up from his stance in front of us and Armin replies for me.
"It's Turkish. It means 'beautiful like the moon'. Mikasa chose it." He smiles fondly, as the rest do and Sasha just 'aww's even more at this newfound information.
"It's such a suiting name for him. He is such a beautiful baby. Looks and personality-wise. He's going to be such a good kid. Oh my god I can't wait to see him mature! Will he look like Mikasa?! Oh Jesus I can't handle the wait!"
"Sasha, calm down. He'll grow up before you know it, don't worry." Mikasa walks back into the room and reassures Sasha of her over-excitement. "Here's your pay Petra. Thank you so much for taking care of him. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't available." She hands Petra the retrieved cash and she receives a smile in return, Petra has such a lovely personality and I barely even know her.
"That's fine dear. Do you need me for the rest of the week? I'm free every day."
"Would you really do that for me?"
"Yes of course! I don't see why I wouldn't, haha. It's no problem at all; he's such a lovely baby any way."
"Well that would be great then, same time each day yeah?"
"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow then, have a good night all of you!" We all wave and say goodbye as she leaves and Mikasa closes the door behind her after bidding her a good night as well. Mikasa joins us in the little circle we've managed to form and looks around a bit before speaking.
"You two know that you can sit, right? You don't have to stand." She was pointing this out to Jean and Connie who were still hovering over the three of us and they just shrug their shoulders and Connie sits on the floor as Jean fetches a chair from the dining table. "Do any of you guys want some food?" Sasha will.
"Oh yes! Do you guys have bread?" Spot on. Go me.
"Yeah of course we have bread. But not rolls, just normal loaf bread. Anyone else for food or drinks?" Everyone replies with an 'I'm fine, thanks' and she goes to retrieve bread for Sasha and whatever else she possibly wanted. Jean had pulled up his chair now and sat down comfortably and Connie was bouncing on the ground a bit as if he were busting for the toilet.
"Can I hold him now Sash?"
"Fiiiiinnnnne." She reluctantly passes Aysen to Connie and he has the biggest grin on his face at finally being able to hold him.
"I've always wanted a younger sibling, especially a younger brother. I've always wanted to be able to muck around with him and prank people with him. He would've been the best. Now I have this little guy to do all those things with. He's kinda like the whole group's little bro really." Now that Connie actually brings it up, he really is.
We all hum in agreement, the others having grins on their faces and nodding to show they agree a lot. Mikasa walks in with a glass of water and piece of bread in hand and Sasha instantly jumps up and runs over to her.
"Yayyy! Thank you Mikasa! You are my saviour! I was starving, and now, thanks to you, my lord, I am saved!" Trust Sasha to go completely over the top dramatic. She ate a full plate of food at lunch not two hours ago. This woman eats like there's going to be a shortage of food and we need to eat as much as we can now.
"Haha, jeez Sash, you just ate." Mikasa hands the bread over to Sasha and she gratefully grabs it and gobbles it down. They both come over and Sasha takes the arm of the couch as Mikasa sits next to me.
"That was two hours ago! Such a long time without eating is horrible. I don't know how I manage to do it every day."
"Because you don't. You're constantly snacking on something, whether it be chips or something else." Jean retorts the painful truth and the rest of us nod.
"Heh, I guess I never realise it then. But I'm still always hungry and you can't stop me from eating the wonderful foods of this world!"
"You'll never be full Sasha, and when you are, we know that something is terribly wrong." We continue to talk about anything that comes to our mind; classes in school, the annoying teachers that are rude and those that unfairly mark. Then, at around 6 o'clock, they start to leave, saying that they better get home so that they can do their homework and any other chores.
As the last person leaves – that being Jean – Mikasa finally closes the door, careful not to jostle her arms as she is holding Aysen this time. We head back inside and Mikasa asks if she can talk to me. Confused, I agree and we walk into the lounge room once again and take a seat next to each other.
"I'm thinking of getting a job. I've started my resume – practically finished actually – and I was thinking of going around to places after school each day this week to see who's hiring." She pauses to let me go over all the information she just sprung on me and I give her my honest opinion on the matter.
"Th-that's great Mikasa!" I have a fake smile on my face to convince her that I truly am happy for her – and don't feel like I'm being left behind – but I'm not too sure if it actually looks like a smile or what it feels like: a grimace.
"Yeah, but, I thought that since I was doing something, maybe you could also do something…" Of course there has to be a compromise.
"And what would that something be?"
"Go a see a therapist?" Excuse me? "Just hear me out ok?" She hurries to explain herself and I take that I accidentally spoke my thoughts out loud. "She is an expert in her job and I've read that she's really passionate about it as well. If you don't want to I understand, but I think it'll be best for you to go with what has happened and all. It'll be good to get it all out and actually get helpful points back." I can see the reason for why she'd want me to go, but if I'm so bad I need to, then she should at least join me as well.
"If I do decide to go, will you join me?"
"Why would I need to go?"
"So that you can tell her about what's happened and get meaningful tips back on it as well. I don't really want to go without you being there for back up either." She nods in understanding and thinks about it for a second.
"Yeah, ok. If it'll get you to go, then I'll tag along with you and get the same stuff. Should we call her tomorrow or wait until Friday or the weekend?"
"We should probably call her during the week, since they're working days. We could call her tomorrow after school I guess, and then you can go look for job offers, I might even tag along if I feel like it." She smiles at me and nods.
"Great! Then we'll call her tomorrow. It's all set then!"
Ok then. Now I'm seen as someone that needs a therapist. Am I really that crazy? Don't crazy people usually get therapists?
A/N Finally, we are getting somewhere with the original plotline! As usual, let me know what you think in the comments and inform me of any errors at all.