"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

-Chinese proverb

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X.

SUPER DUPER

Chapter Soundtrack: "Put On Your Sunday Clothes" by Michael Crawford and Barbara Streisand from Hello, Dolly!

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Kaz sidled up to the enclosure, saliva dribbling from his mouth as he peered through the fence and out at the dark silhouettes that were dotted around the field beyond. His fingers flexed, his claws slicing into his palms as he curled his hands into fists, and his ankles ached from standing for so long. Though they were stronger than they'd been before, they still had a tendency to wilt whenever he hadn't sat down in a while.

It was a cool, crisp night. The moon was high up in the sky, pale in her beauty as she illuminated the blades of grass around him, which swayed hypnotically in the breeze. The crickets had returned from their long winter slumber and were trilling in the grass, the night alive with the drone of trillions of insects. Occasionally, timber wolves could be heard calling to each other in the north.

It was so peaceful, and Kaz was loath to break such peace, but he was salivating so much that he was afraid it would escape between his lips and dribble down his chin.

The fence was easily scaled, and Kaz landed on all fours, crouching in the grass and peering through the tall fronds to watch as a huge animal grazed fifty yards away, with what could only be her offspring by her side.

Kaz had never seen such beasts in his life. They were gigantic, much larger than deer or elk, with barrels for chests, hides splotched brown and white, and ropelike tails. Though elk were technically taller, these beasts were bigger; they were like rocks that had grown legs, and would not easily be brought down like the deer had.

Kaz's stomach rumbled faintly.

He hadn't eaten all day; the Grisha had been the ones carrying all of the money and buying all of the meals, and Kaz hadn't wanted to steal from them when he could get food on his own. He'd waited until nightfall to eat− with his ankles, he wasn't as stealthy or quick as he used to be, and the cover of darkness would give him the upper hand.

He couldn't possibly take down one of the adults; they were too large and too muscular to defeat without the help of a tribe, and if he attempted to kill one by himself he would most certainly get trampled or even maimed, judging from the horns on the males.

That meant he was going to have to go after the calf.

It wasn't uncommon for Demjin to go after calves− they, along with elders, were easily singled out and much easier to take down than a healthy adult− but they lacked the meat that full-grown specimen did, and Demjin had figured out that killing too many calves lead to population decline.

But these beasts were sustaining a healthy heard, and judging from the outlines of other animals in the field that sprawled beyond, there were many more calves to be had.

As he inched closer, careful not to step in any of the beasts' excrement, he couldn't help but wonder why these animals were so large. No, not large, but fat. No animal in the wild was fat, but these animals had managed it anyway, to the point where even a single calf could provide a tribe of five with meat for at least a week. It was probably the reason why they were fenced in, so humans could "hunt" them.

In his opinion, that wasn't quite fair. There was nowhere for the animals to run, nowhere for them to hide and have the chance of getting away, but he wasn't going to start questioning the humans now, not when he'd experienced far worse things at their hands.

Still the human practice of caging in animals and hunting them rather than going out into the wild and doing it the honorable way intrigued Kaz to no end.

He was so consumed by his curiosity, so completely enamored by these unfamiliar beasts and practices, that he forgot to watch where he was stepping. The sound of a large stick snapping beneath his feet made him cringe, and immediately all of the beasts were on high alert.

They raised their gigantic heads in eerie unison, their ears rotating and their noses twitching as they regarded Kaz.

Their large, dark eyes were trained on him, and Kaz knew that he'd been spotted.

He tensed all over, his wings snapping out as he braced himself for the inevitable stampede, but instead of charging toward him or fleeing, the beasts gave him one long look before returning to their grazing.

Kaz's feet were rooted to the ground.

Here he was, a predator standing amid a herd of pack animals whose calves he could easily slaughter, and yet the animals weren't alarmed in the slightest. In fact, they didn't seem concerned at all, and needless to say Kaz was confused. What was going on? Did they not think Kaz was a threat? Did they believe that he was too small and insignificant compared to them to be all that worried about?

His wings spread so he could make a hasty escape if things suddenly went awry, Kaz began to pick his way over to the mother and calf he'd been eying earlier.

He came within ten feet of them and the mother only regarded him indifferently, even as he kept comping closer. Closer. Closer. Closer.

Now there was only a foot of space between him and the beast.

She was dirtied from many days spent out in the field, and her stocky build spoke of a seasoned warrior, one that had survived the humans' many hunts. It really was an awe-inspiring creature, almost as much as awe-inspiring the elk were up close, and Kaz took a few moments to marvel at it. She didn't seem to mind in the least, as if she were pretending that Kaz wasn't there.

With a trembling hand, he reached out and touched the beast's hide, his fingertips brushing over her flank for a split second before he yanked his hand back. No reaction whatsoever. Taking a deep breath, he reached out once more and ran his fingers over the thin layer of brown and white hair, taking in the coarseness of it. It was a lot like the hair on the horses that the Gisha rode.

The beast turned her head to regard Kaz and made a low, guttural sound in her throat that scared Kaz nearly half to death, and he leapt at least ten feet away from her in his fear. The noise, however, must've been nothing more than a reluctant greeting.

After he managed to calm his raging heart, he turned to the calf, who'd been watching the whole thing unfold curiously, and hesitantly reached his hand out to it, nearly shocked out of his own skin when the calf pranced over to him and rubbed against his outstretched fingers.

"This is absurd," he muttered in his native language as he stroked the calf's soft head. "Absolutely absurd."

His stomach growled again, and he looked down at the calf, his brow furrowing before he decided that both it and its mother too kind to slaughter in cold blood.

Turning, his eyes scanned the field for other possible meals. Ones that were sick and suffering or elderly, but instead of picking out one of the weak ones, his eyes zeroed in on a giant specimen. It must've weighed a ton, its shoulders hunched and its horns looking more like claws as they curled out of its sloping forehead. It had to be the biggest animal in the herd, its head reaching up higher than Kaz was tall, and it was currently watching Kaz like a hawk, the only one out of the entire herd that seemed wary.

Now, because of its ginormous size and obvious suspicion that would take away Kaz's element of surprise, one would assume that the Demjin would keep looking, but no. If he took down this animal now and settled down for the night, he would have food for the rest of his journey, which meant he would be taking less lives.

Normally, Kaz wouldn't have a problem taking an animal's life as long as he prayed and thanked the animal for putting up a fight and ultimately sacrificing itself to help sustain another being, but these animals were gentle, and he didn't want to kill more of them than he had to.

His mind made up, Kaz turned on his heel and took off at a brisk pace towards the male, locking eyes with it. If he'd been hunting a giant elk, he would've never done such a thing; looking it in the eyes meant he was challenging it, and elk that were challenged often attacked rather than ran, which could end up with someone dead.

The beast didn't move a muscle as Kaz approached it, stopping two feet in front of it before extending his hand. It watched him accusingly for a few moments before craning its neck and sniffing at his fingers, its nostrils flaring. Kaz was surprised to find that a ring had been inserted into its nose, and he frowned, withdrawing his hand from in front of the beasts' face to examine the ring.

Humans never ceased to amaze him with their cruel practices. First the penning in and now the rings stuck through their animals' noses? It was to the point where it made Kaz almost irritated, but he had no time to ponder anymore as his stomach begged him for something to eat.

After fidgeting with the ring for a few moments, Kaz found that the animal would tamely follow him whenever he pulled on it, so the Demjin could only assume that the humans tied ropes to the rips to lead the beast around, which only served to make him more annoyed and puzzled. Why mutilate the animals' body when one could just tie a rope around its neck and lead it the exact same way?

Pulling gently as to make sure he didn't harm the animal, he led it over to the edge of the fence, tiptoeing around excrement and sidestepping other beasts.

He frowned, turning to the fence and then back to the herd. The last thing he wanted to do was kill this animal right in front of its kin; it would be cruel, not to mention dangerous for everyone involved. After the beast was slain, its comrades would probably turn on Kaz and gore him while he was trying to drag the beast's corpse away.

For a while he trekked the perimeter of the fence, the animal following him closely, and guilt began to pool in Kaz's stomach. This creature was so trusting, so completely naïve of what was about to come, but before he let yet another possible meal free, he steeled himself. He had to get this done. It was now or never.

Eventually he found a gate installed into the fence. Kaz made quick work of the ropes that were tying it closed, and used a fragment of it to tie around the nose ring so the animal didn't have to follow so closely on Kaz's heels.

He lingered, his hands poised to close the gate again, but he took one look at the herd and smiled slyly before leading the beast away, the gate still hanging ajar.

He took it deep into the forest, weaving through trees and soldiering through brambles and shrubs before he reached a nice, peaceful clearing. The leaves rustled overhead, making odd designs in the swathes of moonlight that hit the forest floor, and Kaz deemed this a respectable place to begin as he untied the rope from the nose ring.

He wanted this to be a fair fight. He wanted the beast to be able to run if he so chose, to give it at least a chance of survival.

Giving the animal one last look, he patted its head and murmured a soft apology before his muscles seized up and he sprung onto its back.

The animal let out a sharp bellow that was more surprised than angry, stumbling back as Kaz dug his claws into the meat of its hulking shoulders, and began to buck in an attempt to dislodge the Demjin as he clung to the beast for dear life.

It raced through the forest, with Kaz struggling to stay on as it stumbled over rocks and blundered through low-hanging branches, which raked over his face and caused small lacerations to open up on his face and arms.

Distantly, he registered the familiar chorus of humans shouting, but he could barely hear it over the sound of his racing heart and his own labored breathing.

The beast zigzagged all over the place, to the point where Kaz was just along for the ride and could do nothing but hold on. How could he possibly take this beast down all by himself? His only hope was that it would tire at least sometime soon.

It was wild with fear, obviously never having experienced such pain until now− the fence had probably averted most predators and the humans seemed to have been treating it kindly, and guilt turned his stomach to stone as he screwed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw through it, holding a chunk of flesh between his teeth tightly as the beast surged and kicked.

"Joro? Joro!" came a sharp cry, most likely from the owners of the herd, and Kaz's heart relocated itself into his throat as he removed his teeth from the animal's back and relocated them to the back of its meaty neck, blood exploding into his mouth.

He tried to ignore the panicked cries of the animal, tuning it out as he let out a roar, clawing at its back.

More voices bubbled up, and Kaz knew that they'd found the gates open and were drawn to the noise that he and the beast were making. They'd been following them in the foods for all of this time.

Please make this quick, he prayed.

The beast was now slamming itself into trees, and more often than not Kaz's legs were airborne while his teeth and claws were firmly latched into the beasts' flesh.

Grimacing, he reached around the animal's giant neck, and just as a group of humans burst through the underbrush he raked his claws across the beast's throat, effectively severing its windpipe.

The animal collapsed, wheezing as it choked on its own blood, and Kaz couldn't help but feel overwhelming pity for it as his hands grew soaked in blood.

"What the fuck?!" screeched the main human, and only then did Kaz turn to regard them, the lower half of his face slathered in blood as he knelt by the corpse of the dying beast.

One look sent both the main human and his comrades tearing back the way they came, screaming of a monster.

They'd be back with reinforcements, Kaz knew, so he quickly bent his head and pressed it against the ebbing pulse of the beast.

"Thank you for your sacrifice. I am eternally grateful," he murmured to it, stroking his fingers over the beast's snout in an attempt to comfort it, but it was already dead, its dark eyes staring off into nothing.

Rising shakily to his feet, Kaz took a hold of one of the beast's legs and began to drag it away.

-Ӝ-

After taking a night to skin the animal and properly cook its meat, divvying it up to manageable pieces, Kaz was back on the trail (Though not after washing all of the blood off of him in a nearby creek).

He traveled for days, sometimes flying and sometimes on foot in order to blend in with the masses. He followed the caravans of rich merchers and royalty that were babbling about some prized bull (Kaz didn't know what that was) that was killed by a supposed beast, as well as about the Demjin, and he smirked under the cover of his hood when he thought of how shocked and appalled they would be when they found out that the Demjin was no longer performing.

The shawl, which he'd stolen from a lone traveler who'd had the misfortune of falling asleep on the side of the road, did wonders for him. It hid both his horns and his wings, and unless someone was looking very hard, they didn't even give him a second glance. This ability to blend in with the masses was a gift to say the least.

"Hello, can you point me in the direction of the circus?" he'd ask an innkeeper or a fellow traveler passing by, and they'd give him the directions on where he should go.

He survived off of hunting deer and occasionally odd ground-ridden birds that were kept in pens like the brown-and-white beasts.

Granted, sometimes he would get caught by the humans that owned the birds and would have to make a hasty escape before he was shot, but the delectable meat was well worth it, albeit after a bit of plucking.

That day was a brisk one. The air was cool and felt good in his lungs, and he padded down the path with a pep in his step. He knew that the circus was close, knew that Inej was close, and that made him all the more excited to see her again. A small pit of dread lingered in his stomach, though.

This was a goodbye.

After this, he probably wouldn't see Inej ever again, unless he dared to visit her.

No, that would be suicide. That could get him caught again, and the last thing he wanted to do was get caught now that he'd required his freedom.

He tried to think on the bright side.

Even though he probably wouldn't get to see Inej anymore, he'd be reunited with Jesper and Petra, whom Kaz had thought were lost to him.

He could go back to his cave, and perhaps start a tribe.

His high hopes plummeted once more.

How could he start a tribe when he was always thinking of Inej? How could he love people as unconditionally as he loves her?

Shaking his head, he soldiered on, refusing to acknowledge any of the pesky 'What-Ifs' that tried to surface in his mind.

After a few more hours of traveling, he came across a huge painted sign that was propped up next to the road.

"VAN ECK CIRCUS, THREE MILES" it read in brightly colored lettering.

Emblazoned on it were paintings of lions and horses and acrobats, and Kaz frowned when he took a closer look at the acrobats in the painting, who looked nothing like the Ghafas. Their skin was too light, their bodies too thin, and their faces shaped and sculpted to the point where they were barely recognizable. If Kaz hadn't known the Ghafas as well as he did, he probably wouldn't've been able to find any resemblance at all.

The thing that caught his eye the most, though, was himself.

He was painted in the upper right hand corner, crouched on all fours with his wings spread as he bared his teeth at a man wielding a whip. When were his horns so long? When were his claws that serrated? And when did his mouth become packed with so many teeth? This painting was a mere caricature of him, comically blowing his inhumanity out of proportion in order to lure in tourists.

His lips curled in a snarl, and he walked on in the direction that the huge yellow arrow on the sign was pointing. Disappearing into the tree line to avoid the prying eyes of the other pedestrians around him, Kaz immediately took to wing. It was faster than walking, and he could easily cover the three miles while flying, rather than having to suffer through a grueling journey on foot in order to blend in with the masses.

By the time he reached the familiar circus grounds, night had fallen.

The mere sight of the tents should've made his stomach churn, should've reminded him of all of the suffering he did at the end of the club and the whip, but instead of that, all he could think about was the Ghafas and how excited they would be when they realized he'd come back to them.

He cooked up dozens of scenarios and ways he could present himself to the Ghafas, and every time their reaction was the same: laughing, in cases weeping, and throwing their arms around him before inviting him to one last dinner before he had to go on to the Sikurzoi. The thought made him go warm all over, and his spirits soared sky high along with his body as he coasted on the updrafts and currents around him.

He circled the grounds a few times, scanning to see if there were any patrols, but apparently the guards had all been withdrawn after he'd been sold off to Nikolai. There wasn't anything else valuable in there that would need to be guarded. When he decided that the coast was clear, he slowly descended, his eyes scanning the landscape sharply before he alighted onto the gritty earth that he never thought he'd miss.

Taking a deep breath and beaming to himself, Kaz slunk through the shadows and over to the performers' tents, his feet barely making a sound as he moved. He wandered past the road he and Inej had so often traveled on that led to the cages and the bathing pool and the field, and he made a mental note to visit Matthias' grave one last time before he left.

As he approached the performers' tents, he couldn't help but wonder why it was so quiet. It wasn't that late of the hour, and normally voices should be bubbling up from inside the tents, which were all lit from the inside, signaling that yes, they were occupied. Perhaps everyone had gone to bed early?

Still, he kept his ears pricked as he wove through the tents silently.

He swore he saw someone peeking out between the curtains of their tent, but she quickly withdrew when she realized that Kaz had noticed. That was odd; she didn't seem all that panicked or surprised that Kaz was here, and that only made Kaz all the more wary.

Finally, he was able to pick out the Ghafas' red and yellow tent among the motley of other colors, and the mere sight of it made his heart flutter, his nervousness sliding off of his shoulders like a heavy coat. His smile returned full-force, and he picked up the pace as he padded over, his eyes tracing the silhouettes that were outlined against the light coming from within the tent.

He could make out Mr. and Mrs. Fahey, Inej's sisters, and…

He felt his breath catch in his chest.

Inej.

She was here. He saw her moving around inside. After all of these weeks being separated, here she was at last.

Unable to slow himself down any longer, he bounded over to the mouth of the tent, feeling as light as a feather as he crouched down in front of it and tapped on the sheets that were covering it.

There was a murmur of voices from within, the first sound he'd heard come from the grounds this whole evening, before thin fingers slowly peeled the sheet away.

"Inej," he breathed, his joy bleeding into her name as their eyes met. He never thought he'd see those eyes again. "Inej, I'm here."

"You shouldn't've come back."

Kaz's heart stopped beating in his chest as he finally got a good look at Inej's expression. Thin lips. Wide, fearful eyes.

There was no weeping. No laughing. No group hugs and promises of dinner.

"W-w-what?" he spluttered, heartbroken.

"Kaz, you have to go."

"I just got here. I wanted to come to say goodbye. I'm on my way home."

"Alright, you said goodbye. Now go."

Her words were like a slap to the face, and Kaz's wings drooped, his eyes lowering to the ground as his shoulders sagged. "Inej−"

"Kaz, I'm serious, you have to go now," her words were suddenly tinged with hysteria, and she even went so far as to push at Kaz's chest a little in an attempt to get him on his way. "Please, Kaz, you have to go."

"Why do you want to get rid of me so badly?" Kaz demanded, his sorrow replaced by indignation. "Why are you being so mean?"

"I'm sorry, but you have to leave here! Please!"

"At least tell my why!" Kaz demanded, blinking back tears. Here he was, united with the only person he's ever loved, and she was sending him away without even a proper hello.

"Why? It's Van Eck! News spread that a famous prized bull, Joro, was killed. All of the witnesses say that it was a beast who did it, and when they were asked to describe this beast it was you. Nobody believes him, the witnesses were the town drunks, but Van Eck knew! He knew that you were coming back for us. It's a tra−"

And then suddenly rough hands were on him.

Kaz screamed, partially in fear and partially out of anger, and thrashed as a group of men wrestled him to the ground. His mind immediately went back to when he was first captured, and that only made him struggle harder.

He'd been free. He couldn't go back. Not now. Not like this.

Roaring, he shredded a man's face with his claws, watching as the man stumbled back with a yell, and pounced on another to tear at his chest. It was a frenzy, but Kaz didn't care as he snapped and clawed and headhbutted and kicked whatever moved. Another guard went down as Kaz tore out his throat with his teeth, and another had to drag himself out of the fray when Kaz ripped a chunk of flesh from his calf. There were too many enemies, though, too many people to fight, and the moment Kaz began to grow weary, they were on him.

He was tackled to the ground, all of the breath knocked out of him as he was crushed beneath the weight of a gigantic bear of a man. He writhed like a man possessed, growling an gnashing his teeth and kicking out, but it didn't take long before a wire muzzle was strapped around his face to keep his teeth at bay, his hands and feet chained together soon after that.

"Inej!" he cried as he struggled, knowing fully well that it was no use anymore as the men began to drag him away. "Inej!"

He was delirious with fear, his mind clouded and his breath sawing in and out of his lungs, and all he could think was that once more Van Eck's men had overcome him.

Once more, he'd be at the mercy of humans.

And he'd been so close to freedom, so close to getting back to his family.

So close to getting back home.

They wrestled him into a too-small cage, which in turn was loaded onto a carriage, and all he could do was curl up and wonder why the world had to be so cruel to him specifically, why it seemed to take such pleasure in tearing Kaz's life to bits.

As the driver clucked to the horses and the carriage began to rattle down the path, Kaz shielded himself with his wings as tears slipped down his cheeks.

He cried himself to sleep that night, with the cold bars of the cage as his only company.

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(A/N) I am so sorry that it took so long to update. I had severe writer's block and I also just started the school play, which takes up a huge chunk of my time. Again, I'm sorry.