Previously…

Emmett hugged me then. "You'll figure it out, Bells. Just… be careful, right?"

I smiled slightly and gave a small nod, waving when he said goodbye and headed for the door. Be careful, be careful, be careful. If I had a dollar for the number of times he had ever said that… I'd be a millionaire. What did being careful get you anyway? Nothing.

Maybe now was the time to start living a little. Maybe now was the time to seize the moment and not let Edward slip through my fingers. Maybe now was the time to let myself fall.

****

Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this so easily?

You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe.

Why do you do this to me?

-Why, Secondhand Serenade

Victim of a Teenage Nobody

Chapter 9- You're Never Alone

Edward POV

James was busy talking to someone else when I got to his office on my way home from the studio, so I thought about Bella as I sat in the waiting area.

It was strange how watching Bella sing had felt so… normal. If just a month ago I had been in that same position, it would have taken all I had not to run into that booth and hump her leg like an animal, especially with the sex-me-please eyes she was making at me. I don't think that was intentional on her part. They were probably just her normal eyes and my mind interpreted it differently. But watching her sing had just made me feel… proud. And it made my heart thump unevenly and a warm flush spread up my neck, but I think that went without saying.

I sighed and looked over at the reception desk where Gianna was reading a magazine under the desk oh-so-subtly. I rolled my eyes and coughed into my hand to hide a laugh. Gianna must have heard me because she jumped slightly and looked up at me. Her almond-shaped eyes blinked once at me and then she smiled politely. "Good afternoon Mr Cullen."

"Gianna," I greeted her back.

There was a moment of silence and then, "Er… Mr Cullen?"

I looked up. "Mmm?"

Gianna held up her magazine. "Is this you?"

I ground my teeth together when I saw that same photo of Bella and I. "Yes."

"Why were you with Bella Swan?"

I sighed impatiently. "Look, Gianna, isn't that kinda my business and not really yours?"

She frowned, her blue eyes narrowing slightly. "I guess so but…"

Thankfully, the door opened then and James came out, interrupting our conversation. He was accompanied by an older man in his fifties with a leather jacket on, his greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail, trying to make himself look younger as he always did. Said it got him more girls, the pathetic twat.

"Aro," I greeted him stonily and then turned to my uncle. "James."

James smiled. "Ah, Edward!" Why did the git always look so happy to see me? He hadn't been this interested when he had gotten custardy of me five years ago when my parents had died.

"Can we make this meeting quick?" I asked, ignoring Aro and Gianna.

"Of course," James said with a smarmy grin. I fought back a shudder.

"Why, you going off to meet up with your girlfriend?" Aro taunted.

I gritted my teeth together and didn't rise to the bait. "She's not my girlfriend."

Aro continued to dangle it in my face. "Are you sure? You looked pretty taken with her on the front cover of the tabloids. And everyone knows she's a nasty little slut."

That did it. The emotions in me snapped and I leapt at Aro, clenching my fist and smacking him right on the nose.

"You little shit!" he roared, hitting back at me.

I had youth on my side though, and easily ducked his punches before kneeing him in the balls.

Aro fell to the floor with a groan and James rolled his eyes. "Cullen, in my office. Aro, I'll see you this evening. Don't be late." Then he beckoned me into his office, emphasising his instruction.

I smirked at the old man on the floor before going on into James' office. I took the seat across from the desk, trying not to remember the last time I had sat in this seat, as James sat in his own chair.

"Those were some good punches you got in there, Edward," James commented, unsurprisingly. James wasn't bothered with fighting. Throughout my teenage years, he had actually encouraged it- as far as complimenting me when I got suspended from school for a week when my temper snapped. Having been brought up by my parents – whose attitudes were the polar opposite – I hadn't wanted to fight with anyone and had been horrified with my uncharacteristic outburst, no matter what James said.

After he had seen the damage I had done to the other kid in that one fight in freshman year, he had taught me how to fight properly; how to defend and how to attack. For the majority of my youth, I had been under the impression that he was teaching me in case I ever needed to defend myself. How wrong I was.

I wasn't stupid; I had known what was going on with James' little gang. I had just chosen to ignore it, knowing that as soon as I was eighteen I would hightail it out of James and Victoria's 'care' and go to med school. When James had finally admitted just a week or so before my eighteenth that he had been training me up all along so that I could 'join him' I had been disgusted. How ironic that my escaping from him had inadvertently been the cause of me becoming trapped in his twisted little games.

I merely grunted in response to his comment, and leant back in the chair. "What were the jobs you had to offer?"

James bent down and sifted through a pile of papers in a drawer. Then he drew out an A4-sized folder full of papers and passed it to me. I opened it and looked at the first sheet, which had a list of names on it, and 'confidential' watermarked on top. I flicked my eyes over some of the unfamiliar names and then looked back up at James. "What about them?"

"These people are all of the people that currently owe me money in this state," James told me. "Felix was my debt-collector because he has the biggest muscles and looks the most threatening. But he betrayed me and was disposed of."

I shuddered at those words again.

James didn't notice. Or at least he pretended not to. "I want you to go round and find them, and get the money back for me. You can have two thousand per debt you collect, plus any bonuses I give you on top of that."

I glanced down at the sheet of paper, my eyes glossing over some of the amounts and I let out a low whistle. Some of the debts were huge, but that didn't affect what I got out of it. I would have to do a lot to get a decent amount of money. I looked back up at James. "How much and how often are the bonuses?"

James shrugged. "It'll vary. At least a thousand per bonus. Maximum of five. It'll probably be about two thou per bonus and you'll probably get… what, one per day? If you want the bonuses, bring me the money, not excuses as to why it's not here."

I sighed; it was generous. If I went after one of these people per day, it'd get me $2,000 from each debt and then plus the two thousand bonus would be about $4,000 per day. That was four times what I was getting from Bella and Emmett per week. I did the maths in my head. $4,000 per weekday plus the thousand per week from the bodyguard job would get me about $21,000 per week. Still not enough. But a lot more than $1,000.

"And Edward?" James spoke up then, while I was still calculating.

"Yeah?"

"I know the difficulties you're having with Cody, and I've had a quick look through my accounts and I think I can spare five thousand per week to go towards his medical care."

I stared at my uncle. Where had this sudden generosity come from?

He laughed at my expression. "Come now, Edward," he said. "If your son is anywhere near as good as you are, he'll earn me a lot of money one day."

I wasn't aware that I was on my feet until I heard my chair hit the floor with a loud bang and I was leaning over James' desk, fury blinding me and making me see everything through a film of red as I shook with rage. "You are never roping my son into this. Ever."

James just laughed at my consuming anger. "Okay. The offer still stands."

"I mean it," I hissed. "As soon as Cody's better, I'm taking him and we're getting out of here. Then I never want anything to do with you and your games," I spat.

James quirked a brow. "We'll see. Do you want the jobs and the money, or not?"

I gripped the folder in my hand, desperately wishing I could throw it in his face, yell profanities at him and escape in that fantastic Volvo. But I couldn't. I ran my right hand through my hair. "I must be fuckin' insane," I muttered, turning to storm out of the office.

"I'll take that as a confirmative," James said. "By the way, Edward."

I stopped and turned back. "What?"

"That ten thousand also depends on mission impossible. I want proof that you're actively contributing toward this mission." He held my gaze for a long moment, a warning in his eyes. "And don't get too attached. It won't help you or Miss Swan. Remember, Edward, I have other assassins that can take up this job. And if someone else has to take it up, then Bella Swan won't be the only person they're after…"

"Is that what I am?" I asked venomously. "An assassin? A killer? Just someone you can order to remove people you don't like?"

"Careful with what you say, Edward," he warned lazily.

"Why do you want me to kill her, then?" I moved back over to the desk. "What's she ever done to you?"

"I'll gladly tell you once you have completed the mission."

"Don't you think I have a right to know my motives?"

"Your motives are to get money to save your son," James pointed out. "My motives are my own."

I shook my head with a sarcastic laugh.

"Whatever your feelings, the point still stands. If you get too close to little Miss Swan, then neither of you will benefit. Don't ever forget that I have people watching everyone, Edward. Because you haven't been left out. You're never alone."

"You're sick." I glared at him and then left him to his twisted fun.

His words replayed in my mind as I got into the Volvo, ditching the folder in the glove box for now, and the words sent shivers down my spine. You're never alone. How the fuck had I ended up in this fucked up world? Oh, right, because my life was just one big fucking mess.

***

"$82,000," I murmured. "Eighty-two thousand dollars, and that's just the first operation, Cody." Earlier, twenty-six thousand per week had sounded like a lot. Now it seemed like a joke. It would take me four weeks to save up enough. And that was without mentioning the apartment rent, taxing, food and other general living costs.

I stroked Cody's little arm; it was far too skinny for a newborn. "You can't hang on for four weeks for me can you, buddy?" I whispered. Then I sighed. "Of course you can't."

He stirred slightly. When I say slightly, I mean his finger twitched. Isobel had gone from his room now, which I felt was a shame for Cody. I did wonder what had happened to her, though. Had she pulled through? Had she been operated on? Had she died?

"What's been going on here then?" I said quietly, as though he could reply. "Anything interesting? Did a birdy come and sit on the windowsill? Did you open your eyes yet?" I bit back the tears. For almost everyone else, this should be such a happy time. Spending time with your newborn son shouldn't be a chore. I knew that I should have done this differently. Should have followed through on our original plans to get him adopted. But no one would pay for him to survive if no one wanted him. I wasn't going to let Tanya die in vain, even if I barely knew her. She had been so dedicated to keeping this little life going that she had died in the process. I stared blankly at the window that was starting to gloss over with rain as I remembered Cody's Mum.

It was strange to think that she had gone. I had barely known her so it was even harder to accept that she had died after being in my life for such a short time period. I mean, it wasn't like either of us were going to really stay in touch but, in a way, that just made it weirder.

My sleep-fogged mind moved away from Tanya then, and focussed on another girl. I groaned as my brain threw images of her at me, hitting my forehead with the heel of my hand. Then I looked back at Cody. His little, red lips had parted slightly, showing me the black emptiness that his mouth was. He should be eating with that; not being fed with wires going into his veins.

I forced my mind back to Bella, not wanting to think about how sick my baby was. "I met a really nice lady," I said to Cody, like he was responsive, and old enough to understand me. "She's wonderful. Very pretty, and kind, and funny. You'd love her, I'm sure. And she'd probably love you too. I don't think she's capable of not loving anyone. Except Brianna, maybe." I moved my hand up to his head, stroking his fine downy hair. It was nearly the same colour as mine, perhaps a shade or two lighter.

"Maybe one day you can meet her." I smiled slightly, and let myself paint a pretty picture in my head of a possible future for Cody and myself. "When you've had all of your operations, I'll give James back his jobs. I'll take you out of here and I'll look after you like a real Dad. I'll get a proper job in Forks, Washington. That was where I grew up, you know. Prettiest little place you'll ever see." Tears stung at my eyes as I remembered, but I swallowed them back and carried on. "I'll buy a proper house there and it'll have a big garden that you can play in. I'll buy you all the toys I can, and we'll go to Disneyland every year. You can even bring a friend. Bella can come too. We can all live in the house together. Maybe you can even have a… a… brother or… a sister." My words came out stammered as the tears ran down my cheeks and my body shook. "I'll ask Bella to marry me somewhere pretty and romantic, like in that movie. Then you… you can be our pageboy… and… everything… will be… okay." The images I had described flashed through my head and I wanted them so badly. "You'll be the happiest little boy that ever lived, I promise. Everything will be alright in the end. It will." But my promises sounded false in my own ears. Because I knew it could never happen.

I broke down then, sobbing against the incubator. "I'm sorry I can't do anything for you," I whispered. "Being a Dad is just something else I suck at."

***

Frank Phelps. The first name on the list. Owes $16,000. Lived at 167 Bushgrove Terrace. Nice place. Married to Helen, who knows nothing about the debt. Two kids- John and Sarah.

I pulled my jumper off of my head so that I was just in my skin-tight black cotton top. It stretched over my biceps and made me look like a fighter, even if I knew that I would never be able to actually hurt anyone intentionally. Then, I got out of my car, parked carefully around the corner so that if anything did happen no one could report the number plate, and walked over to the huge house that was 167 Bushgrove Terrace. I pulled on the extravagant doorbell and waited.

Eventually, someone looked through the peek hole. "Who are you?" a man barked through the door.

"I'm looking for a Frank Phelps?" I asked without emotion.

The man sighed and he unlocked the door and opened it. He motioned me in quickly, looking around outside before shutting the door again. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm here on behalf of James Cunningham," I said; Cunningham was James' secret identity. "I am of the understanding that you owe him some money."

Mr Phelps paled significantly and he swore under his breath. "Tell him that it's…"

"No. He said no excuses, he wants it now." Okay, so he hadn't said that, but he had said to bring money if I wanted bonuses.

"Um… er…" he stuttered.

"Do you have it?" I asked bluntly. "Or shall I call Helen and tell her where you really got the 'raise' from?"

"I've got it, I've got it," he said quickly when I whipped the blackmail out. "Just… not now."

I knew what I had to do now. I mean, I knew he had the money- look at his bloody house for crap's sake! So now I should beat him up until he gave in. But I couldn't do that. The only times I ever beat anyone up were… well, there was that time that those guys had been attacking Bella but that had been different… Suddenly I stopped. That was it. I looked at Frank Phelps and imagined that he had hurt Bella, that he had been one of those men. I imagined that he had made Cody sick. I imagined that he had been the one to murder my parents. The blind fury that consumed me made it easy to push him up against the wall. "Look, Frank, James wants his money and he wants it now," I spat. I kneed him where it hurt - the second time in the day I had done that to someone – and then I said, "Are you gonna give it to me now, or shall I come back in a few days with some of my friends to sort you out?" I made sure that my tone was thick with implications.

Frank squeezed his eyes shut and pointed to a vase stood by the door. "In there," he rasped. "It's all in there."

I dropped the scruff of his neck and went over to the vase. I pulled out the potted plant and took the bag from the bottom, pausing to count the money. Then I dropped the plant back in, and thanked Frank before letting myself out.

It wasn't until I was back in the car, the money in the passenger seat's foot-well and Frank's name ticked off on the list, that I looked in my rear-view mirror at my reflection and felt thoroughly repulsed. What had I just done?

I had never liked looking at myself in the mirror, but this was the first time I had hated my reflection. All because of James. He had turned me into a monster.

***

I couldn't sleep that night. Every time I dropped off to sleep, my mind would be invaded by warped fantasies involving my imaginary mansion, Bella and a gorgeous little boy that I instinctively knew was Cody. But then the dream would give way to a nightmare when the sun disappeared behind the clouds and day turned to night, revealing the flipside of my life. When I burst out of my skin, like a werewolf, or the incredible hulk and became the horrible monster I knew I was. Then Bella would scream and run, and take Cody with her.

I would wake sweating and shaking, berating myself for thinking such stupid things. It wasn't until I had woken from the same dream at least four times in two hours that I wondered if they weren't such stupid things after all.

The only stupid thing about that fantasy was the dream part. I was stupid to believe that that could ever happen, especially since Cody living and Bella living were two things that could never be mutually inclusive. If I didn't kill Bella, then James would get another of his 'assassins' to kill us both, therefore killing Cody at the same time. It was a vicious circle.

But it was a vicious circle I wouldn't start revolving. I would cloak the feelings I knew I had for Bella- like James had said; growing closer to her wouldn't benefit either of us. And I would prevent growing closer to her by not thinking of her.

At least, that was what my mind said. A certain other part of my body thought otherwise, and that was why I stood there, at three o'clock in the morning, in a freezing cold shower thinking of the fat nurse at the hospital that made me want to puke.

"Fuck you, Bella Swan," I muttered darkly.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Angst, angst, angst… jeez XD I'm sorry about all the angst and stuff guys, really I am, but it's fun to write and I think it's pretty interesting… do you agree or not? :S

So… a lot in that chapter. James has given Edward the job of debt collecting, Edward's become a monster and Tanya's Cody's Mummy :)

Yeah, about the Tanya thing- don't worry about it at all. All will be revealed in future chapters, I promise. And, yes, she died in childbirth so she's not gonna come back and steal Cody or something XD

WOW. I went to see Remember Me last night and OMC it was so amazingly freakishly INCREDIBLE. I honestly did not expect it to be anywhere near that good and it was just… completely awesome. Rob was really, really good in it and I really wish he'd be that great in Twilight because he was brilliant as Tyler but as Edward… eh, not so much. I would really recommend going to see it. Yeah, it's sad in places but it's so worth it :D

Um… the next update probably won't be until Tuesday now so have a great Easter everybody :)

And please review :) I don't think we're gonna get to that 500 review aim but I'd love to be proved wrong (hint, hint). Think of a review as… paying for the story… since it's, you know, FREE… um… yeah :L

I'm totally willing to offer Easter eggs with a Twilight guy of your choice inside the egg. Think of all the chocolate it would take to hide Taylor's abs… ;)

Thanks guys! Have a great bank holiday! :D

Steph