I received some truly amazing and touching reviews and messages. Thank you so much for your kind words and the compliments on my writing. I appreciate your comments and thoughts. You guys are awesome for taking the time to let me know what you think about the story. The feedback I get is always helpful and thoughtful, and I am so grateful to receive it.
Also, I saw Furious 7. We learned a lot about Dom and Letty that will make for great storytelling for a different story, but I feel like for this story, I am going to stick with the original route I was taking for Letty's emotional arc before that movie came out. In other words, I choose to ignore Furious 7's canon for the rest of this story and only draw from FF1-6. Hopefully, it works.
As always, I hope to hear from you. Thanks for reading.
Chapter 10
Letty followed Jack's cry toward the kitchen. The sound wouldn't last long. No one in this family would ever leave the kid stressed out for more than a few minutes.
That fact made Letty happy. She liked that Jack would never go too long without getting what he needed. He would always be taken care of. Letty would want nothing less for Dom's nephew or Mia's son.
Letty took in a deep breath. No doubt Mia was just around the corner. Letty still hadn't decided what she would say to Mia when she found her. The risk that Letty might make Mia re-live heartbreak if she brought up Linder did not sit well with Letty. Mia would do anything to help Letty, but if there was a price to be paid for Letty figuring everything out, Letty was the one who should pay it, not Mia.
Still, there must be a way Letty could get what she needed without hurting her friend. The answer just hadn't come to her yet.
Letty turned into the kitchen and stopped short when she found Brian standing with his back to her. Seeing Brian instead of Mia surprised Letty, but it shouldn't have. Brian spent just as much time with Jack as Mia did. He seemed to love being a dad as much as Mia loved being a mom.
Brian turned slowly. He held Jack in one arm while he struggled to loosen the top to a bottle with his free hand. The baby sat wrapped tightly in a blanket. His eyes were bright and alert. There was no way he intended to miss out on any of the day's activity, Letty could tell.
"Everything alright?" Letty asked.
Brian gave Letty a wide smile. His enthusiasm caught Letty off guard, but she couldn't help but reciprocate. She felt herself smile back at him. Brian wore his heart of his sleeve. It was available for the world to see. Letty imagined it was impossible for someone not to like him.
If Letty had surprised Brian when she came up, he didn't show it. Maybe he'd expected Mia to follow him inside?
Brian cradled Jack close to him and kissed his son two times on the top of his head. "Look at that, Letty came to see about you. You excited to see her?" Brian asked Jack. His tone was calm and loving.
The little boy waved his arms up and down. He seemed to have forgotten about his earlier tears. He had picked up on his father's good mood no doubt. Of course he had. Brian's happiness was contagious.
Brian finally managed to remove the top from the bottle he held and he gave it to Jack who was excited to receive it. Brian leaned his back against the kitchen counter and met Letty's eyes.
"So what's up with you? What's going on?" he asked. "Where's Dom?" he added as an afterthought.
Letty shifted. The question made her nervous. She had no plans to talk to Brian about Dom.
"Upstairs, I think," she said. The answer was true as far as she knew. But Dom could have left the house, she realized.
"Well, he better get his ass down here or we'll never eat. And I'll never get Roman to shut up about missing his date," Brian laughed.
Letty lowered her eyes and forced a smile.
"Hey, are you alright?" Brian asked. Letty heard the concern in his voice. She lifted her eyes back to his face. Brian had noticed her discomfort. Damn it. She'd forgotten how observant he could be.
Letty faltered. "It's nothing I just…"
Brian shifted. He seemed genuinely interested in whatever she was about to say. He was always ready to hear Letty out it seemed.
Letty sighed. "It's just kinda hard sometimes. Trying to sort things out in my head. I mean not being able to remember what everything was like before...what I was like. It can screw with you a little bit," she confided.
Brian nodded and stepped toward Letty. He shifted Jack in his arms. The baby was still enjoying his bottle. He didn't seem to care about the adults around him. Brian raised his hand to Letty's shoulder and let it rest there.
It was a nice gesture and Letty met Brian's blue eyes. They were strikingly bright, but kind.
"Letty, everybody understands...Dom, Mia, they are just thrilled to have you back. You gotta know that," he said.
Letty nodded, but she did not agree with Brian. She was sure he was wrong. Her presence did not feel like enough. Especially not like this, with no memories and always trying to piece herself back together. Not to mention that all she ever had to go on was her faulty instincts that only worked half the time at best.
Brian dropped his hand from Letty's shoulder. Jack stretched and Brian smoothly adjusted him. His motion seemed to soothe the baby.
Brian took in a breath and Letty noticed a change in Brian's mood. He seemed suddenly sad.
"Letty, I'm sorry… for everything. This whole thing, everything that happened to you...it's all on me," he said.
Wait. What?
Oh no. Letty had been ready to protect Mia's feelings, but she had forgotten to think about Brian's. Somehow, the ton of guilt that Brian still held onto when it came to Letty's accident had slipped her mind. Letty didn't want to hurt Brian any more than she had wanted to hurt Mia. Things were getting worse by the second.
What should she say?
Letty did not blame Brian for her situation at all. How could she? There was no way he had convinced her to do something she didn't think was a good idea. Hell, it was probably her idea. It was just that their plan had not worked out the way that either of them had thought it would, she imagined.
Letty had tried to convince Brian to let go of his guilt in Spain. She hadn't wanted that for him even then. She definitely didn't want that for him now. But his feelings over what happened seem to come to him in waves. They appeared and disappeared depending on what was going on.
Letty took in a breath. Brian probably felt a deep loyalty toward her. This was true whether she remembered him or not; or whether she deserved his loyalty or not.
She did not know if Brian's loyalty was an extension of his love for Mia and Dom, or if it was something the two of them had developed on their own. But it didn't matter either way. Did it?
To Brian, Letty was family. That was all that mattered. If Letty was family, and Brian felt like his actions had hurt his family, then that was going to be hard for him to get over. This was not going to be easy. She had to think quickly.
Brian and Dom were so much alike in this way, Letty noted. The two of them were always trying to hold themselves responsible for everyone that they cared about.
It seemed that Brian had adopted Dom's code full stop. And it was like that code guided every one of Brian and Dom's decisions.
Letty had learned early on that there was literally no limit for how far Dom would go in the name of family. In the most frightening way she could have imagined, Dom had shown her that he had even been willing to die for the family's pardons and the chance for all of them to return to L.A. In fact, Dom had seemed to rank their freedom above his own life, and just below Letty and Mia's lives.
Letty hadn't really understood this until she and Dom had been standing in a plane that was about to crash. Dom hadn't argued with Letty wanting to come with the team to rescue Mia. He'd welcomed it even. He had seemed to trust her ability to handle herself. But a plane crash was a whole lot different than a rescue mission. And in no uncertain terms, when the time came to get out, Dom had chosen to place Letty's safety over his own.
There had been a desperation in Dom's eyes when he ushered her to the cargo door that led to their escape. He had seemed determined to see her grounded and out of danger. Letty should've guessed that he wouldn't be right behind her, but she hadn't.
It was only when she had jumped into the jeep that Tej sped away from their all-but-certain death that she remembered having heard Hobbs warn Dom earlier in the night that if he let Shaw walk out, the team's pardons would walk out with them. It then clicked in place that Hobbs must've promised Dom's team their freedom in exchange for their help capturing Shaw.
Letty had called after him. But had she really believed that she could change his mind and convince him to come with her to safety? Maybe. Even then, she had started to accept that for whatever reason he loved her. Simple logic should have meant if she meant so much to him, then her pleading might have been enough. But Dom wasn't simple. He was complicated. And somewhere inside she'd known better.
She should have predicted that once she was safe, Dom would've turned his attention to honoring the loyalty he felt for the others. He would ensure they were going to live the lives he felt they deserved. She guessed in his view they had earned it.
Still, Letty had wished she could've learned all this about Dom in some other way. She could still recall the image of the plane smashing into a million pieces and the flames rising as high as a building.
But before everything had been too late, Dom had managed to give her hope when he'd thought to ride a car through the nose of the plane. Of course Dom would've come up with a thing like that, she now realized. He was as brave as he was clever.
Letty had wanted to believe that Dom could survive anything. She'd seen him act enough to understand that his will was as strong as hers. He'd found the car. He'd driven it through the nose of the plane. He must have lived through car crashes before, she had told herself. After all, that was how they had first met, wasn't it? A car wreck? That's the story he had told her. She had believed him. But as the seconds dragged on, the horrible possibility that maybe this crash had been too much for him to handle crept into her mind.
She knew then how meeting him had started to change her and how losing him would leave her wounded. Probably forever.
Letty had been fine. Cold, detached, but fine. She hadn't feared loss because she hadn't known belonging. But that's what Dom had offered her. That's what he had wanted to give her, love and belonging. And she had almost had it taken away in a blink of an eye. But it would not have been for nothing. She believed that, even now. It would have been for his family.
And if Brian was as much like Dom as Letty suspected, then she knew he felt just as strongly about protecting family as Dom did.
Brian seemed to carry that same intensity inside of him; that same loyalty. Letty had seen Brian go just as far as Dom had for Mia, Roman, and for her. After all, Dom had told her how Brian had risked life in prison just to uncover the truth about what had happened to her.
These bonds were intense. But Letty was starting to understand them. They made sense to her.
Maybe it was crazy? Or maybe showing this type of love was a good way to stay safe; a good way to survive? If there was one thing Letty knew about it was survival.
Letty swallowed hard. She didn't know exactly who she was before, but she was starting to have a good idea about who she was now.
Letty didn't have anything to offer Dom that might help him right now except for her presence. And he'd already made it clear that he didn't want that. But her gut told her she had something to offer Brian, a confirmation of her forgiveness. Even if she hadn't been sure which feelings to trust lately, she felt sure about this. The idea seemed important to her.
Letty stood tall. "Brian...I don't blame you," she said. "I meant what I said in Spain. I know you didn't make me do anything I didn't want to. I know you couldn't have, even if you tried."
Brian looked away. His eyes seemed to catch hold of something behind Letty. She felt nervous. She was trying something new. She didn't have a lot of experience reading Brian.
With Dom it was different. Letty had gotten pretty good at interpreting Dom's cues. She could tell what it meant when he shifted or stood still; looked away from her or looked into her eyes. Plus, she had discovered that Dom was unfailingly patient with her. She could not place that kind of bet on Brian.
But Letty decided to go on. There was no way she could make things worse. Could she?
"And I wanted to thank you," she said. Brian's eyes shot back to hers.
"Thank me? For what? I…" Brian looked down again. This time his lips returned to the top of Jack's head. Thank goodness he was there. Holding Jack seemed to comfort Brian. That made this easier.
"When I came to you, I'm guessing it was to ask you for help…" she said. Brian nodded, but he opened his mouth. He seemed like he was about to protest. But Letty pushed on.
"I asked you for help and you gave it to me," she said. "And in London, when I didn't know who I was, you risked your life to bring me back here. So, yeah," Letty shrugged, "thank you."
Brian looked at Letty. He gave her a small smile and Letty smiled back. She could feel the change in him.
"It's weird," said Brian.
"What's weird?" Letty asked.
"It's like you're the same, but you don't even know it," he said. Letty felt her eyebrows raise up. She was about to ask a question but Brian went on.
"I've messed up so many times," Brian said. He shook his head. He looked like he couldn't believe his own story. "You, Mia, Dom... none of you had any reason to forgive me. But you did." Brian held a tone of wonder in his voice.
"I guess it's just who you are though. Who you've always been…" he said. Letty tilted her head to the side. What did Brian mean?
"When you came to me, you told me that you just wanted Dom to come home. I understood that. I could tell how much you two loved each other from when I first met you. That made perfect sense to me."
Letty lowered her eyes. She thought about Brian's words. Han had told her almost the exact same thing. She should be used to hearing it by now. But it still surprised her how freely everyone seemed to know how much she and Dom had loved each other before.
"But it was the other thing you told me that took me awhile to understand," Brian said.
Letty heard a soft clatter. She looked down. Jack had dropped his empty bottle on the floor. Letty moved to pick it up. She caught eyes with the now smiling baby. He seemed perfectly content.
Brian changed position and moved Jack to his shoulder.
Letty waited as Brian got Jack situated. She tried to stand still. She did not want to seem impatient even though she felt eager to understand what Brian meant.
What had she told him when she'd agreed to go undercover that had taken him time to understand? Something about Dom? Something about herself?
Brian returned his attention her.
"So what took you so long to understand?" she asked. The answer felt important.
Brian smiled a wide smile. He must've picked up on Letty's curiosity. His ease calmed her. Whatever it was couldn't have been bad.
"You told me that when I was ready I could come home too," he said. Letty fell silent.
"For the longest time, I could never quite figure out what side I came down on. But it seemed like the only time in my whole life when I felt like I belonged was when I was here with all of you. I don't know. I guess when you said that...for the first time, I started to believe that maybe there was a home for me." Brian laughed.
"You made me think that maybe, even after everything I'd done, there would be a way I could come back to Mia, to Dom, to you."
Letty felt touched. How could something she said have affected Brian so much? She didn't know. But the idea seemed beautiful all the same.
Letty was about to ask another question when she heard Mia's voice from the living room.
"Where is everybody?" Mia called.
"We're in here, baby," Brian said. Brian broke Letty's gaze.
Mia appeared in the kitchen door frame. "There you are," she said. "What are you guys up to in here?" Her tone was playful.
Letty met Mia's eyes. Mia smiled brightly.
Jack, who had been disinterested before, seemed to perk up at the sound of his mother's voice.
Letty looked at Brian. He was already headed toward his wife.
Good. Their time together would give Letty more time to think of what she should do next.