"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
That was it. That was the question every father dreads. They all hope and pray that it never even rears its ugly head…that somehow they'll just automatically know. It's a thought that Bruce knew was just ridiculous. The boys were going to ask, and he would give them the talk. He would make sure they were educated on being safe. He thought they would be teenagers or at least young adults. How could he answer the question for two five-year-olds and a two-year-old? He never had this problem with Dick, Jason, or Tim. They already knew.
"Go ask your mother."
That was it. That was what every father said to get out of that question—Bruce was no exception.
"She said to ask you," Frank pointed to Bruce, all three boys sitting in the young boy's room.
Bruce cursed under his breath. He should have known that Diana would somehow turn this back on him. He knew he couldn't say nothing much longer since all three boys were looking up at him, "Well, it takes a man and a woman who love each other…"
"I know that," Brendon rolled his eyes as if saying that Bruce should stop patronizing him, "How does the baby get inside the Mommy's tummy?"
Bruce took a deep breath, "Well, it's just…there is….a magic bat…that's it, and the magic bat comes and visits the Mommy."
"But, how….what does that have to do with how the baby gets in the Mommy's tummy?" Deidara raised an eyebrow as if he knew his father was lying.
"That's a good question. You see, the magic bat makes the Mommy eat magic cake, and the cake makes a baby in the Mommy's tummy," Bruce nodded decidedly to try and make his explanation sound more truthful since it was about as realistic as the stork.
"That's just a made up story, Daddy. Mommy told us the truth yesterday," Frank seemed proud that he knew the truth.
Bruce felt his blood pressure rise. Diana told them the truth. They were way too young, and they weren't born the way she was supposedly. The being sculpted from clay story wasn't going to work here.
"She said that you have a seed in your tummy, and she has an egg in her tummy," Brendon nodded to confirm that Frank was telling it right, "Then, you both share a special hug so the seed goes to the egg. That makes a baby, silly."
Bruce was impressed. That was perhaps the best explanation he'd ever heard for a young child, "Well, you better get to bed."
Bruce tucked in the boys before returning to the master bedroom, "That was not funny."
"Oh, it was pretty funny," Diana could tell that her husband was slightly annoyed that she sicced the boys on him with questions of where babies come from, "You have a thing for bats."
"No, I have a thing for you," Bruce kissed her softly, "I can talk about you forever. You are beautiful, intelligent, sexy, funny, amazing. And, the perfect word for you is callipygian."
"Callipygian," Diana raised an eyebrow, laughing as he groped her butt.
Bruce smirked, getting up and locking the door, "How about a special hug?"
Diana pulled back the covers revealing a lacy red thong and a red bra with tiny black bats. She smirked at his reaction, loving that even after being married for almost three years, and dating for six, she could still make his jaw drop, "Get over here."