Dear Damon-
I'm more sorry than I can say, for more things than I have words for. I had to leave, and I had to leave alone.
It's been an odd life so far, hasn't it? Odd, but wonderful with you in it. I love you, but you know that. I hope I've never taken you for granted, but looking back, it would be like taking myself for granted - so much a piece of me you are. It tears at me, to be what I am now and to know what I now know. I'm a danger to nearly everyone around me. I think whatever mojo or juice or energy that has been rising in me over the years has finally reached critical mass.
The day mom died, I had a surge- I don't even know how to say… I'll try blunt. I think the fire was my fault. The lights, tv, radios - everything in the house went crazy when I'd left. I found a picture, hidden in one of those little statues of Mom's. It was just a Polaroid, but between the man on the front and the date of the back - it was easy to see that Dad wasn't my father. Mom didn't try to deny it. I don't know what happened after I left. I just ran.
I understand if you hate me for it. I know I do.
I'll understand if you can't forgive me for it. I doubt I ever will.
Beyond even that, I had a panic attack on the balcony the other day. If I hadn't punched the wall and broken my hand to snap out of it, I could have brought the building down - easily.
It's too dangerous for me to be near you, or anyone else, until I can control it. But I still won't be safe, then. Not really. I don't know why, but I have a death sentence on my head. Even at this very second, I'm someone's prey. Anyone near me who doesn't have the mojo that I seemed to have gained, or accessed, won't survive the angels. As you saw in the woods, I almost didn't.
If anything should happen, if the hunters show up, there's no guarantee they won't mow through anything in their path to catch me - including you. I wouldn't live long if I caused your death, nor would I want to. If you don't know where I am, they have no reason to come for you.
I'm begging Damon, don't follow me. No remote viewing, either. Please. I don't want to be in a world where you don't exist. I couldn't bear it.
I love you, big brother.
Love, Little Sissy Sari