AN: It's the chapter that you've been waiting for since my last update. *waits for everyone to catch on to the joke* Got it? Good.
It is the chapter in which Gilbert learns some stuff about Matthew Williams that he would have never guessed. Should be a really fun one to write but, there will be a lot of dialogue in this chapter! Don't worry though. The action chapters will also be coming soon!
I have awesome reviewers once more. You really do spoil me. I'm glad that you like my cliffhangers. I'm also glad that they don't make you want to kill me!
Please review because Mattie hugs those that review!
Gilbert watched Matthew as the Canadian stood up and began pacing.
"Gil… this really is a long story. It's not that easy for me to talk about either so please be patient. I'll try to tell it the best that I can."
Gilbert looked at Mattie. "Birdie, relax. I don't care how long the story is. Just calm down and tell it. I don't mind that it's hard to talk about either. You can take as long as you want to."
Matthew felt somewhat comforted by the Prussian's words. He sat down next to Gilbert and took a deep breath. This was his first time telling the story to anyone. The only person that he'd ever told any of this too was Alfred. That didn't really count as telling anyone though because Al already knew about all of it.
"Well, I guess I should start at the beginning." Matthew hesitated for a moment before going on. "You know that Francis and Arthur were married correct?"
Gilbert nodded, not sure where Mattie was going with this.
"Ok so Al and I lived with our two fathers for a long time. You see, they were married for quite a while. Anyway, we lived with them for a while and things were actually pretty amazing. We would spend a lot of time as a family. We went to picnics, the park, amusement parks, France, England, a lot of places really." Matthew stopped for a moment. He hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to remember the good times. He wasn't even at the hard part yet.
Gilbert smiled encouragingly. "That would be normal family stuff." He wouldn't really know much, considering that it was just him and his brother but, he knew some things about families.
Matthew nodded. "Normal family stuff. It was pretty awesome because everyone cared about one another. Francis really loved Arthur and vice versa. It was amazing to see as a child. But, after a few years…" He felt himself tearing up and couldn't quite finish the statement.
Gilbert sensed that they were getting to the real beginning of Matthew's story. He noticed the tears returning to the Canadian's eyes and contemplated what to do. From his experiences over the past few weeks, he knew that Mattie was not alright with Gilbert's feelings for the younger man. It wouldn't be a good idea to do what he wanted to do in that case. Instead he just put a hand on Mattie's shoulder and waited for him to continue.
"S-sorry. I d-didn't t-think it w-would be t-this hard." Matthew lied a bit there. He had known that it was going to be rough from the very beginning. He knew that just remembering these things was hard and that saying them was even harder.
"It's alright Birdie. Take a few deep breaths and go on."
Matthew nodded and did as he was told. "Well, after a few years of that amazing happiness, things started to go badly. Francis and Arthur started to fight all the time. Arthur started drinking and getting v-violent s-sometimes."
"I'll do what I want. I didn't marry you so you could boss me around!" Arthur screamed the words. "I also don't want you here bitching at me. This might be why the kid won't talk to me."
Francis sighed. "Leave Mathieu out of this Arthur."
Arthur was fuming now. "He's my kid too but, won't even look in my direction. He never talks to me and he just sits in his room alone all day."
Francis sighed, this again. "You know as well as I do that Matthew isn't stupid. He knows about the fighting you idiot."
"I really don't care!" Arthur yelled.
The memory flashed through his mind.
"How the hell do you know how I fucking feel? You love me… bullshit. You just love to boss me around all the fucking time. You act as if I was one of your children. That's Alfred and Matthew, not me." Arthur was getting louder.
"Arthur calm down please." Francis had regained some of his composure.
That was when Arthur threw the picture frame at Francis.
Matthew could almost hear the sound of glass shattering at his feet.
Gilbert was talking to him but, he hadn't noticed a thing. "Matthew!"
Matthew was forced out of his memories and looked at Gilbert. Tears were streaming down his face.
"Shit. Birdie you can just stop there. I don't need to know anymore." Gilbert would say anything to make him stop crying.
Matthew shook his head. "I-I'm going to tell you all of it. Beginning to end."
Gilbert sighed. "Fine; what do you mean he got violent? Did he hurt you and Alfred?"
Matthew shook his head. "Not us. His words sometimes hurt like a bitch but, he never laid a hand on either of us. It was Papa who got all of the abuse. They would fight, Arthur would leave, and then he would come back and they would fight some more. I saw a few of them from under the staircase. They argued about lots of things. They even argued about me for a while."
Gilbert gasped. "I'm sorry Mattie. I can't imagine what all of that could have done to you."
Matthew laughed humorlessly. "Oh, we'll get to that part soon."
"Go on then."
"Well, they fought for a long time. I'm not sure if it was months or years. I think some of the worst parts were the ones that I witnessed. I heard Arthur say that he didn't care about me. He had been my father figure and I loved him but, he said he didn't care about me." Matthew felt all of the old emotions coming back up once more.
Gilbert shook his head. "That asshole! The worst part is that he was probably lying birdie."
Matthew shook his head again. "I'm pretty sure it was the truth Gil. I heard all of that and I saw my father cry in his room almost every night. I was there for the divorce and I saw what it did to papa. It pretty much killed him Gil. His love for Arthur hurt him for years to come."
Gilbert felt the true confession coming on. He couldn't believe that all of this could have happened. Every nation knew about the divorce but, apparently none of them knew about how it had happened. He felt so bad for Matthew. When he was just a child, all of this stuff must have destroyed him. Apparently it had some lasting effects on him as well.
"Love was what hurt my father. Love is what hurts everyone. In the weeks after the divorce, I made myself a promise. Alfred made this promise as well." Matthew paused. This was the part that Gilbert needed to hear the most.
"And the promise was?"
"I have one rule Gilbert. That one rule is: Never fall in love."
Gilbert sighed. He really should have seen something like this coming. The way Mattie had reacted when he confessed his feelings, which should have been a dead giveaway.
"The lasting effect." Gilbert whispered.
Matthew laughed without humor. "That would be a good way to describe it. I have lived my entire life without once breaking this rule. I have never been in a relationship and I have never wanted to be." Until now, I never even considered it a possibility. He added on the last part in his head.
Gilbert nodded. It all made sense now. "What about Alfred? You said he kept the promise as well."
Matthew chuckled darkly. "Yea… he's so fucking good at keeping his fucking promises."
"Something to do with the fight today?"
"It has everything to do with the fight Gilbert. He broke the rule. He broke the rule and never once told me that he even considered it. He didn't ask me first. He just decided to break the rule and go out with Kiku." Matthew was pissed and it showed. Why shouldn't he be? He had every right to be mad at his brother. "And then he had the audacity to say that I should consider breaking the rule. He said that he didn't want me to be lonely anymore. According to him, I need someone. That's bullshit. He even said that he knew someone and I don't even want to go into that!" Matthew couldn't hide the angry tears anymore.
Gilbert was shocked. For once, he found himself agreeing with Alfred. The way he saw it, Matthew was hurting from his past. He was lonely because he was afraid of getting hurt. He needed someone but, would never admit it. Alfred knew someone that cared enough to help Mattie and Gilbert knew exactly who he was referring to.
"Mattie… maybe Al was right this time."
Matthew looked as if he had been hurt. "What the hell? How could you agree with him on this? I don't need anyone."
"Well, you are sitting here and pouring your heart out to me because you need someone to listen. You may not be lonely now but, some day you might be. I don't think what he did was right. He should have told you first. But, I think he might have been right in what he said."
"Gilbert… I'm talking to you because I trust you and even trusting someone this much is hard for me. I'm talking to you because you care enough to listen. I'm talking to you because you are the person that I'm closest to besides my brother. It has nothing to do with needing someone." Matthew argued. And I won't be lonely later on. I'm already lonely. And I even thought that maybe I could bend the rule a bit… I won't do it though, he thought.
"Birdie…" Gilbert couldn't even finish the sentence. There was just too much pain behind the Canadian's eyes.
"There's something else to." Matthew whispered.
"What happened?"
"Alfred texted me. H-he s-said that F-Francis…" Matthew stopped to take a breath. "F-Francis and Arthur are t-together again!" He erupted into tears on the spot.
"Shit," Gilbert muttered. He got closer to the Canadian and forced Matthew to look into his eyes. "Relax Birdie. You can cry all you want but, don't fall into yourself. Don't block me out Birdie." He saw the signs of Mattie going back to being silent about everything. He saw the signs of a complete withdrawal.
"S-sorry g-Gil…" Matthew whimpered. "They can't do this!"
Gilbert felt tears coming to his own eyes just watching the younger nation. "No, they really shouldn't. It's their choice though. If anyone gets hurt, it doesn't affect you. Maybe, maybe they just realized that love is worth it. Maybe they realized that it wouldn't go away." He whispered the last part and wasn't sure if Mattie heard it.
Matthew buried his head in Gilbert's chest. He definitely heard every word of that. There was no way it was the truth though. "I-I don't know Gil."
"I know Mattie."
The two lapsed into silence for a while.
After about fifteen minutes, Matthew stood up. His face still bore the signs of tears but, otherwise he had pulled himself together. "Gil… I think I should go home now."
Gilbert nodded. "Sure, I'll give you a ride."
Matthew nodded and followed Gil to the car. Once inside, Matthew felt the need to say something to Gil. "I need to tell you something."
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry Gilbert. You really are the best friend that I could ever dream of having. I never really told you anything before but, you were still willing to listen. Besides all that, I can't be in love with you and you can't be in love with me. It just can't happen. Now you know why. Even if I could let you in, I would just be too much baggage for you." Matthew confessed.
"Shut up Mattie." Gilbert said simply. "We are at your house and no matter what you say… I'll love you all the same. It doesn't matter to me if the feelings are mutual. I'm fine just being your friend. Now get inside and get some sleep. If you have problems sleeping or want to talk, you have my number and MSN."
Matthew was about to argue but, instead he nodded and got out of the car. "Goodnight Gilbert."
Gilbert chuckled. "It's not quite night yet Birdie."
Matthew smiled. "But, you said to get to sleep."
"I meant tonight; although, it's not a bad idea for you to get to bed early."
"It really isn't Gil." Matthew was surprised to fine that it was easy for him to laugh. "I'll talk to you later."
"Bye Birdie." Gilbert watched Matthew walk into the house. "Sweet dreams."
AN: LONG chapter! Lots of dialogue as well. I hope you liked it though. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It made me sad but, I love the very end.
Much more to go! Hope you enjoyed it! If you want to request a Christmas fic, let me know! Please review!