Three days has passed since I learned about Tristan's condition and somehow, instead of us getting closer together it's as if we've drifted. We still kiss and stuff but it has lost the heat of when we first started.

I don't know whether it was my fault for walking on eggshells around him, treating him like a patient instead of as normally. But I couldn't help but worry. Tristan was also quiet most of the time as if he was distancing from me emotionally, trying to minimize the damage he'll leave me with.

I'm not sure how we'll rectify this. We only have 10 days left before summer ends and I return to Stars Hollow and Chilton and him back to seclusion. I want to do something for him that would matter and would convey what he means to me.

"Tristan, could you visit your doctor and ask him if it would be safe to uh..." I blushed. I don't really know how to put this in words.

"Safe for what, Mar?" he asked intrigued.

"Ifitwouldbesafeforyoutohavesex." I mumbled, flustered with my own daring.

"Hang on, let me get this straight. Are you inviting me to have sex, Mary?" he asked with a leer. Oh boy, Tristan's back.

"Since you put it that way, I must be out of my mind and I'm rescinding the offer. Forget it." I said as I buried my flushed face in my arms.

"Hang on, Mar. I was just surprised, pleasantly actually, and if you think I'll let you take back your words then you're out of luck. Do you know how often I've dreamt about this? I'll make the appointment as early as tomorrow and when he says we can, you're not backing out. I'll be damned if I die a virgin. Pun intended." He said cockily.

I don't whether I was going to laugh or cry. I have always imagined myself losing my virginity to the boy I loved but I never imagined it to be Tristan Dugrey.

Tristan was cleared by his doctor albeit under duress after starting him on a new drug to decrease his heart rate when he engages in 'strenuous activity'. His doctor asked him why he was suddenly interested. Tristan told him he wasn't going to die a virgin and he was only waiting for the right girl. The doctor said he couldn't blame him and warned him to take it easy and to stop when he feels something wrong. He told his doctor that his Mary was worth it.

I told my grandparents I would be sleeping over at Lane's in Stars Hollow. I told Lane I was actually escaping my grandparents and attending a party with my Chilton friends and would be sleeping at their house. It was a rather complicated lie and I hope to God I would not get struck by lightning.

Tristan brought a tent, an inflatable bed and sheets and blankets and pillows and candles. He also had some chocolate and strawberries and sparkling grape.

"This is the closest to a honeymoon, I could give you Mary." Tristan joked. But I sadly knew it was true.

"We haven't even exchanged our vows yet." I joke back, trying to make the situation light.

"So let's think of one. I'll start."

"I never put much faith in my heart. It was broken with nobody to fix it. I was born with the knowledge that death is very much waiting for me. While others are counting time until they grow old, my time runs pretty much like a countdown. So I tried to live as recklessly as I could, fitting in as much experience as I could. I have never really envied the time given to others not until you. You gave me something worth living for. I wanted more time; I wanted forever with you. But as my heart is set on a time limit, I could only love you for my lifetime. I love you, Rory Gilmore."

My eyes snapped wide with what he said. "I'm sorry, I broke the rules, Mar, but I just had to say it at least once, you know." He shrugged unapologetic about it.

Standing in front of me, I see him truly, for what he is and what he's not. I can't pinpoint the exact moment I fell for him. Maybe it had been happening all this time. I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe I should just stop thinking and just feel. All I know is that I love him. And I am not scared anymore. He's the one I want. He's Tristan, the Bible boy to my Mary.

"I never expected my summer to turn out like this. I never expected to find you, least of all fall for you but I did. It scares me and keeps me going at the same time. Just the idea of being without you someday breaks my heart but not being with you now hurts more. I figured it would hurt either way so I'll just have to make the best of it even if it means acting brave. I don't need forever; I just need you to love me in whatever time we have. And in case it still isn't obvious, I love you, Tristan Dugrey, broken heart and all."

So we were a couple of rule-breakers. The rules don't matter right now. Because at 17, I found the love I wanted, the heart-breaking kind.

We sealed our vows with a kiss that would put a shame to all kisses. He laid me down on the bed, our lips still connected, our bodies pressed against each other. My heart was pounding fast and there were butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

I think I understand why they caution playing with fire. It catches easily. The fire was around and inside me, in the air I breathe and in the blood coursing through my veins. I have no name for it but maybe its passion and longing and desire. And I think it's a wonderful way to burn.

Then there were no clothes but just skin on skin, seeking tongues and gentle nibbles, fingers tangled in hairs, hands roaming backs and clutching hips. It was a complicated dance of pain and bliss with breathy moans and blue locked on blue, where we were one and I felt like crying because here and now was all I could offer him while he gave me his everything.

We made love every day and night (as I would sneak out to his house where luckily all hired help were deaf and blind to whatever Tristan's wanted), as much as Tristan desired and could, and it felt better every time. I had nothing to compare but even then I know that Tristan was a god, and he was a smug bastard.

On our last night together,while we were cuddled in the sheets glowing with our lovemaking, it was inevitable for us to talk about how things were going to be.

"So I guess we are Romeo and Juliet. My only love sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown and known too late." I quoted.

"I thought it was because we loved fiercely but was doomed to be short-lived." He said."Romeo dies."

I die was what he meant but I don't. "But this Juliet doesn't."

"So we get a different ending. Promise me you'd try to be happy when I'm gone even if it kills me to think about it right now that it wouldn't be me. Just promise me you'd try." He asked me to swear.

"I can't promise that." I answered truthfully.

"Well, then just promise me that if a guy acts like a jerk to you at first you'd at least give him a chance to prove otherwise." He bargained.

"I don't know. I don't think anyone could compete with how much of an annoying jerk you were to me." I told him half-heartedly.

"You'd be surprised how many we are out there."

"But you're the only one I want." I insisted.

"I just don't want you to miss out on anything. I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't be happy if you'd pine for me when I'm gone but I love you too much to want you to be lonely and scared of living." He reasoned.

"So it's okay if I fall in love with another guy?" I asked, waiting for his answer.

"I don't want to think about it but as long as he loves you almost as much as I do, then he'll do." He replied.

"Almost as much?" I wanted to clarify.

"Well, no one could love you like I do." He said rather pleased with himself. Smug bastard.

"Are you sure about that?" I teased.

"Oh, come on Mar, do I have to show you again?" He said as he rolled on top of me.

"Tristan, I didn't mean that. Tristan!" I lost the will to argue as he proceeded to show me how he loved me all night.

I wished so badly that there were more moments like this or that time would stop. But I wasn't so fortunate. I hurt the more I love.