One year… one year 6 months and 6 days since I last updated this story… what can I say?
Except holy shit I still have fans for it! I hope you enjoy the fact that my grammar no longer sucks and my spelling is no longer a 3 year olds goal.
The crowd of Jedi, Sith, and droid bitch were gathered around watching as the two competitors dueled. Sidious vs Obi wan for the title of godfather.
"My bet is on Sidious." Dooku declared as around him everyone including Anakin nodded their heads in agreement.
"Wait Anakin what are you doing I thought Obi wan was your master!" Aayla asked curious as Anakin stared at her like she was crazy.
"Have you seen Sidious in episode 3? He kicks the shit out of Yoda… and Obi wan couldn't even beat Dooku… Sidious FTW." Grievous stared at him curious.
"What exactly is this FTW?" He asked while Kit answered.
"I believe its an acronym of the words: For The Win." He beamed at his l33t skillz.
"No no your wrong… it means #& the world!" Shaak ti swore causing Grievous to step back in shock and Anakin to hold his mouth like he was going to vomit.
"Dirty words lead to a dirty life style Master Ti…" Aayla remarked but couldn't finish because suddenly Shaak ti's fist had collided with her unfortunate unfortunate face.
"Oh no you did not bitch!" Aayla lunged as Shaak ti glared.
"Bitch you better back off…" She seethed as Aayla and Shaak ti became entwined in each others arms and were rolling across the floor.
"Dude…" Grievous nudged Anakin.
"Prep the camcorder we are back in the internet porn market!" Grievous whispered as Anakin began recording what they hoped would be a suitable home page starter.
The fight became so hot as legs were twisting together that both Sidious and Obi wan had forgotten their own scuffles and were now watching with peaked interest as two smoking hot ladies were now squeezing each other in an attempt to kill the other.
"Move the camera closer Anakin this is page viewer gold!" Grievous demanded as Anakin zoomed in. Everyone not fighting was forced to back up and watch as the two women stood up and began taking swings at one another.
"Are you sure we can sell this?" Anakin asked.
"Are you kidding?" Grievous interjected.
"The sexiest thing a man can hope for is two women strangling each other in sexual outfits… it combines the two best things about sex! Asphyxiation and leather outfits…"
Obi wan and Sidious knuckled.
"Hey Sidious, I'm on her council!" Obi wan bragged as Sidious one upped him.
"Hey Obi wan, Shes on my security!" Everyone forgot their conversations as the fight finally escalated to the two women being thrown across the room by each other. Aayla charged forth and just as Shaak ti was about to block a brutal kick she believed was aimed at her Aayla completely missed her and instead kicked a defenseless younger Togruta who everyone had only just noticed was in the room.
"Oh I am so sorry I didn't notice you…" Aayla apologized helping the stunned young Togruta up as Shaak ti and her forgot their quarrel and everyone else looked stunned.
"Hey I didn't notice her either… who is she?" Kit asked as everyone gathered around the new girl who now looked up at them before her gaze rested on Anakin.
"I'm Ahsoka… ow… and I am HIS padawan." She said pointing at Anakin.
"What?" Obi wan asked as everyone stared at Anakin who was now hiding behind Grievous.
"Um she is clearly just stunned from the fall… she should lye down, somewhere…" Everyone looked confused.
"We didn't notice you have you been here this whole time?" Shaak ti asked.
"Well technically I come some time during the story but ya I was here for a good portion of the entire clone wars…" Ahsoka declared.
"I wonder why we never noticed you…" Grievous pondered.
"Well that's what a lot of people were asking when I first appeared… I am so unloved by the fans…" Ahsoka said gloomily.
"Well you are sort of a sad combination of me and Aayla… I mean you're a smoking hot Togruta who dresses like a skank, that's sort of myself and Aayla right there." Shaak ti said matter of factly as everyone nodded.
"look it doesn't matter how she dresses unless… hey brat how old are you?" Grievous asked pondering as Ahsoka sniffling said.
"I'm 14…"
"Dear sweet balls of Lucas! Anakin put the camera down we cannot be recording her! Do you want the freaking kiddy porn police bashing down our doors?" Grievous shouted fumbling to smash the camera after taking it from Anakin.
"No! I'm too pretty for prison!" Anakin wailed as Grievous slapped him.
"Get ahold of yourself man we gotta think… oh man, do you know what they do to guys like us in prison?" Grievous bawled as Dooku chuckling said.
"They hang you by your feet and go at you like wampas… I mean… so I hear." Everyone ignored the older man and gathered their attention away from the two worried have robotic lightsaber badass's and back to Ahsoka who was a little calmer.
"Well guys now that I am finally noticed in this universe what do we do for fun?" She asked beaming as Obi wan groaned.
"We force ourselves to do silly painful and humiliating activities for sport… and kill each other." Kit explained as Ahsoka giggled happily.
"That sounds an awful lot like back home at the jedi temple! Awesome I'm in!"
Everyone sighed at their newest members enthusiasm as Anakin and Grievous finished their panicked planning.
"Ok ok ok… um remember the plan ok?" Grievous barked at a hyperventilating Anakin.
"What have I done?" Anakin whined as Grievous slapped him and shook him.
"The plan!" He demanded.
"Ya ya, I never saw any kiddy porn, and your names not Grievous its Muriel…" Grievous grabbed Anakins shoulders and growled.
"What! Who told you these things? Nevermind… just don't tell the cops I was in on it or your going to have a new reason to never get married after Padme!"
The two idiots joined the rest of the crew as they formed a circle with Ahsoka sitting happily next to Obi wan who uncomfortably asked.
"So who's turn is it?"
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Meanwhile on a ship not far from our last location…
"I believe that our best plan to bring Mace back to you Yoda would be to simply go ghost I mean it worked pretty damn well for me!" The spirit form of Qui gon jinn smiled at a meditating Yoda holding his favorite Kermit the frog blanky.
"Sure you are that he won't be upset with me yes?" He asked nervously as Qui gon chuckled.
"Of course not… remember that you only sent him away in a pod full of explosives… it was he who molested your light saber in his shrine of you…" Yoda sighed at his words.
"Those were the best most fucked up days of my 800 year old life…"
I am wondering if this is even funny any more…