How stupid could I be?

A simpleton could see that you're no good for me, but you're the only one I see.

Everything changes, everything falls apart.

Can't stop to feel myself losing control, but deep in my senses I know.

Brennan woke up with a severe pounding in her head. She opened one eye, only to shut it immediately as the sunlight blinded her. It was only then that she realized she was not alone in bed. She opened her eyes into small slits and took notice of Booth snoring softly beside her. Oh God, she'd had sex with Booth last night. Lots and lots of sex. It was then that she noticed she also had a severe pounding between her legs. Perhaps they had been a little too rough last night…The images of his hands on her ass and his mouth on her breasts overwhelmed her as she took in the gravity of the situation.

Normally she would go running to Angela with a problem like this, but she no longer had that option. She realized the only person she had left that she could really talk to, was the person she needed to talk to someone about.

She started to remove herself from his bed, when she felt Booth touch her lower back. She involuntarily shivered at the contact. Oh the places those hands had been…

"Morning, Bones," Booth yawned, coaxing her to lay back down with him.

"I should probably go check on, Katie," Brennan tried.

"She's not up yet," Booth stated, gesturing toward the baby monitor which Katie's form of snoring wafted from.

"Booth?"

"Hmm?"

"Did I really ask you to 'fuck me' last night?" Brennan asked, rubbing her temples.

"Those were your exact words, yes."

She groaned in response and finally lay back down next to him. "I promise I don't normally talk like that."

"Yeah, I know," Booth laughed. "Tequila does something to you, I've noticed."

Brennan groaned again, burying her head in her hands.

"So I have to ask," Booth started, "where did you learn how to do that thing with your tongue?"

Brennan's cheeks turned bright red and she found that she couldn't look directly at his smug face. "I did that last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"I just remember a lot of sex. I don't really recall specifics."

Booth propped himself up on his elbow so he could look down at her. "You weren't kidding when you've awkwardly announced several times that you're very good in bed."

"Why would I kid about that?"

He laughed and bent down to kiss her. She couldn't help but notice how they still tasted like each other. She held his head there for a minute, still not believing what had happened.

"Everything's going to change now, isn't it?" Brennan asked softly, once she finally allowed him to pull away.

"Everything has already changed, Bones. This just means…we're finally together, I guess. You want that, don't you?"

Brennan nodded. "I suppose that it's about time that I tell the truth on this topic. After all, I told you about Rick Conway last night, which somehow lead to us having sex… So anyway, I've never stopped wanting it. I mean I've wanted since…oh I don't know. There have been several moments in our history, when I have seriously considered starting something with you."

"Like when?" Booth asked, mindlessly twirling a strand of her hair around his index finger.

"Well, the first time I realized I had feelings for you was when you were shot and I thought you had died. I just kept thinking about how you would never really know how I felt about you. But I was just so angry with you for faking the whole thing and not telling me, that I never acted on my feelings. And then the Gravedigger had you and I felt that same fear that I'd never get to tell you. But even after I rescued you, I never told you. And of course the fear appeared again when you were diagnosed with that brain tumor. I was going to say something, I was, but…"

Brennan sighed running a hand through her hair. "I just couldn't. You were going into surgery and I didn't want to cause you anymore worry. You were already so nervous. And then you woke up from that coma and thought that I was your wife…"

Booth pulled her into his arms, but remained silent as she continued. "That next year, I came so close to saying something, so many times. But it never happened. I was just so fearful of rejection or something, I don't… I have, figuratively speaking of course, kicked myself everyday for turning you down when you finally found the courage to bring it up. I just don't let people in very easily, and I was afraid of letting you in all the way. I didn't want to lose what we had, which is why I believe I kept trying to suppress everything that I was feeling. And when you came back from Afghanistan, I was going to tell you everything that I just said now, but you told me about Hannah instead. I've hated myself everyday since then, knowing that if I had just said something, we'd already be together."

"Bones –"

"No, let me finish. I need to apologize about New Year's Eve. I should have just told you yes that night. I'm still terrified about this whole thing, but I want to really give it a try now. I'm incredibly sorry it took me so long because if this was all that I've been missing, I could have used it a hell of a lot sooner."

Booth laced his fingers in between hers and kissed her again. "Bones, I uh…I have a confession to make."

"Please don't tell me that you've never had feelings for me…"

"No! No, that's not it at all. This…this is about Hannah."

"Okay," Brennan said, shifting away from him slightly.

"When I broke up with Hannah…you were there for me and that was great; it meant the world to me. You've always been there for me, no matter what I do and I just…it's one of the things I love about you. You're such a supportive friend and I never thank you for it, so thank you."

Booth took a deep breath before continuing. "When I was with Hannah, when we first met, I was still hurting…from you. So when we had sex for the first time, I uh, I pretended that she was you. And it makes me wonder if I was ever really in love with her or if it was just me in love with the idea of being with you. I mean I knew she wasn't you, but… and when I came back you were here and she was here, so of course I knew then that she wasn't you. But you know what? I decided that I could use Hannah to make you jealous. You would see us happy together and you would just crack and say something. And it worked; you did. But when it happened, when I got what I wanted… I just sat there and told you no. Told you I wouldn't give everything up just for you. I fucking asked if I could call anyone for you! What the hell? I was such a dick. You were sitting next to me, bawling, and I was busy trying to pass you on to someone else. The old me would've pulled you into a hug, but I don't know where that guy is anymore. Me? I'm just an idiot; an asshole. You're always there for me, and I couldn't even be there for you. It was what I wanted and I couldn't even say yes."

Brennan remained silent next to him. He was dying to know what was going through her mind, but he couldn't let her yell at him until he had confessed everything.

"And then Sweets…he starts telling me that he doesn't want to end up like me, he wants to be married by the time he's my age. And I just got so mad. It brought back everything. Rebecca turned down my marriage proposal, you wouldn't even start anything with me, and here I had Hannah. We got along well, the sex was good, she was gorgeous…and so I decided that I was going to prove a point to you and to Rebecca even. I had this woman that I could spend 30 or 40 or 50 years with, and she wasn't you. I proposed to her to hurt you. And I don't know why because you had just told me that you wanted me, but for some idiotic reason, I wasn't done hurting you yet. Which is stupid because I promised you that I would never hurt you. I was supposed to be that one stable person in your life. I mean I know you have… had Angela, but what we have…had…God Bones, I am so sorry, for all of it. All of it, especially at Michelle's grad party I had no right…It's not your fault that your family left you like they did and I shouldn't have been using it against you like that. It was such a low asshole move. I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, Bones, I need to know that we're okay…just please. I'm sorry."

Brennan covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes. Booth noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks. And yet still, she remained silent and unmoving.

"Please say something, Bones. Anything."

"Why would you do that to me?" she asked softly, without opening her eyes.

"I don't know. I was just so mad and –"

"No. Why would you tell me all of that?"

"I don't –"

"I don't want to hear about how you fucked her. I didn't need to know that the whole time, you were thinking about me. And what were you thinking, proposing to her? You honestly think that if you had married her, just to get back at me for telling you no, you two would have been happy? You would have probably ended up cheating on her…with me!"

"I don't cheat," Booth said defensively.

"Yeah, but if I was the only thing you could think about when you were with her, eventually you would have wanted to turn the fantasy into a reality. It's basic psychology."

"You hate psychology," Booth stated trying to reach for her wrist.

"Don't!" Brennan yelled, jumping out of the bed. "Last night was a mistake. Don't ever let me drink tequila again."

And with that, she walked away from him to go find Katie.

Booth sat at the Royal Diner, mindlessly twirling his spoon in his coffee awaiting Cam's arrival. He knew he was in for an earful of 'I told you so' comments and disapproving looks, but after the time he and Brennan had spent fighting with each other, he was use to it. Cam really had become his makeshift Brennan, whether she wanted to be or not.

Katie had been left in the capable hands of their usual sitter since Brennan had seemingly disappeared. He'd debated bringing the child with him to the diner, but had decided against it, figuring he might go out looking for Brennan after his conversation with Cam.

Ten minutes later he heard her heels clacking on the floor and her accusatory tone ring out throughout the diner. "What the hell did you do?"

Booth waited until she had settled down next to him on a bar stool and had her own cup of coffee warming her hands before he spoke. "I took your advice. Turns out you were wrong. Now fix it."

"Okay back up. What happened exactly?"

He took a long sip of coffee, letting it burn his tongue because he knew he deserved it. "Bones and I got drunk off of tequila last night, confessed some things about our past, and had sex. When we woke up, she went into this rant about how she's always felt something for me and how she's sorry it's taken her so long to just tell me yes…and it all just made me feel so guilty…so I told her about the Hannah thing."

"And she didn't take it well?"

"If she had, would I be talking to you right now?"

"Okay, okay I get it. What did she say?"

"Basically that she would have preferred not to know about any of it. I knew I shouldn't have told her. But I just couldn't get your voice out of my head. And now we will never get our old relationship back. Thanks a lot, Camille, you've been really helpful."

"Seeley…" Cam sighed trailing off and deciding to take a sip of her coffee before she continued. "I'm sorry. I didn't think –"

"Damn right you weren't thinking! It's clearly a bad idea to tell someone that you've been purposely trying to hurt them."

Cam groaned, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. She had really been meaning to get those cut… "Did she say anything else before she left?"

"Just that if I had married Hannah I probably would have ended up cheating with her and that last night was a mistake and she's never going to drink tequila again."

"Well I can call the lab and see if she –"

"No, she wouldn't have gone there. It'd be too easy for me to find her there."

"Maybe she wants you to find her."

"I highly doubt that," Booth muttered, aimlessly twirling his spoon in his coffee again. "You didn't see the pain etched into her face. Seriously, how am I such a screw up? Things were perfect, right where I've always wanted them to be and then…disaster. Maybe she was right on New Year's Eve…I am utterly repulsive to women."

"You're not…trust me."

Booth gave her a half-smile in return. "Any last advice, despite the fact that your first batch got me into this whole mess?"

"Okay first of all, I wasn't the one who decided to use Hannah to hurt Brennan. That one is all on you. And secondly, beg for forgiveness? I mean I feel like all you can really do now is wait for her."

"If I just sit back and wait, I'll never get her back."

"Well, what other choices do you have?"

Brennan wasn't sure how she had ended up here, at the cemetery, of all places. She remembered getting into her car, overwhelmed with emotions, and just driving. Driving to get away from him and from everything. She was even more shocked at herself for passing by her mother's grave. After the holidays and all of the secret sharing last night, she was sure her dazed state had brought her to Christine Brennan.

But that wasn't the case. Instead the names Angela Montenegro and Jack Hodgins stared back at her from beneath the February snow. It felt like she was in a dream, like everything that had happened hadn't been real. And yet staring at their gravestones made everything almost too real, as more emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

"I don't even know why I'm here, let alone talking to you," Brennan started, her voice quavering with the threat of tears. "It's not like you can hear me or anything. You're dead. It's just…you brought me here on the anniversary of my mom's death and wanted me to talk to her…just like Booth did right after we'd buried her."

At the mention of his name her voice faltered, but she continued like it hadn't happened. "I suppose I am here to pay my respects. You taught me that after all. So here I am."

Brennan fell into silence then, feeling ridiculous talking to herself. The only sounds were those of the wind whistling occasionally through the trees and the distant noise of the highway. There was nobody here but her and a bunch of bones. But that thought inspired her, for she had always said that she felt the most comfortable around the dead.

"Speaking of Booth…we uh…we had sexual intercourse, something I'm sure you'd be proud of for some odd reason. And you were right, we were quite compatible together. But of course, as it always seems to be with us, the happiness didn't last long. He told me these things that I really had no desire to hear and I just got so mad at him that I somehow ended up here."

She bent down and brushed off the snow that had yet to melt away from their headstones. Their date of death was now staring back at her, and she felt herself become light headed. So Brennan straightened back up and focused her gaze on a tree off in the distance.

"Did you know that he was just using Hannah to hurt me? I'd like to think that if you'd known you would have told me, but I'm under the impression that Cam knew and she never said anything. And I don't know if I'm more upset by the fact that he was trying to hurt me or by the fact that he decided to tell me about it. See now this? This is why I didn't want to admit to myself that I loved him. Love only comes with pain. Why did you write me that note, Ange? To torture me? Because that's what it's been doing."

She bit down on her lower lip, no longer able to keep her tears at bay. "I don't want to love him, but I do. And I don't know how because all we ever do is hurt each other. He told me that he loved me last night and I couldn't even say it back. Kind of glad that I didn't now, but I don't think that stops him from knowing how I feel." Brennan drew in a shaky breath. "I just feel like I have no one. I feel completely alone and I just really need you right now."

She knelt down in the snow, tracing the letters of Angela's name with her index finger. "I need my best friend back. I can't make it without you. You remember what I mess I was when we first met…you saved me, fixed me, and I just really need you to do that again right now, okay?"

Brennan was met with silence, which she should have been expecting, but instead the silence only spurred to anger her.

"How could you do this to me?" she yelled, slapping the headstone and ignoring the pain that shot through her palms. "How could you leave me here all alone?"

She suddenly turned her attention to Hodgins' stone for the first time since arriving. "Were you driving? Of course you were. This is your fault! Why weren't you paying attention to the roads? You're the one who took her from me! How could you? After everything we've been through? We were buried alive together. How could you?"

Brennan collapsed in on herself, as the pain overwhelmed her. She felt her body shake with the violence of her sobs as her snow-soaked clothing chilled her to the bone. She found herself wishing that Booth had followed her here so he could appear out of his hiding place to hold her. But he never came. No one came, therefore highlighting her earlier point that she was alone.

How did her life get to this? She was happy once; in those years before Afghanistan and Maluku. And now she had resorted to crying and yelling at headstones to make up for the loneliness she feared she would never escape. She felt trapped in this limbo between happiness and pain, and whenever she found herself headed in one direction, the other would pull her back. She couldn't win.

Brennan glanced back over at the headstones, trying yet again to judge the reality of the situation. "Beloved mother and father," she whispered the inscriptions beneath their names.

Katie. Her daughter that she, in a way, shared with Angela. How could she have forgotten about that precious little girl? Here she was feeling so lost and alone, when that girl had lost just as much as she had. And if it wasn't for her and Booth, she probably would have ended up in the foster system, dealing with her own Rick Conway's. Brennan just couldn't bear to think about that.

Slowly, she pushed herself to her feet and stared back down at the graves in front of her. She wiped at her face and her wet clothing as though it would make a difference. Brennan attempted to regain her composure as though her last few moments of hysteria had never occurred.

"I want you guys to know that we're taking good care of your daughter. Despite our fighting and these new mental breakdowns of mine, Katie hasn't been affected. We're staying strong for her. And Booth convinced me to let her believe in Santa, even though I still think it's wrong to lie to children. He's actually quite good with her, but he's good with Parker, so I should have known he'd be great with her too. I just wish he'd figure out how to be great with me."

Brennan sighed pushing her hair out of her face. "I mean there was a time when he'd do anything for me. He'd kill for me, die for me. And I just can't help but wonder if he's that same man anymore. How can someone who's willing to do anything to protect you, end up being the one who hurts you the most?"

She allowed her last question to hang in the silence and listened as a squirrel chattered its way up a tree.

"Well thanks for listening, Ange. Even though you could never say anything back, it's nice to know I still have you to vent to. Until next time…"

Brennan turned and followed her footprints back out of the cemetery. She paused to visit her mother's grave, silently wishing that she too had never died. And then her phone was vibrating in her pocket…again. She knew it was Booth without even checking it. She let it go to voicemail…again. But as she turned to leave her mother's grave, it started up yet again.

With a groan, Brennan fished it out of her pocket, struggling with the touch screen with her gloved hand.

"What?" she demanded into her phone.

"We have a body," Booth said, almost with an edge to his voice.

"Can't you take one of the interns with you?"

"You're that mad at me, you won't even come do your job?"

"The interns need more field time. I think it's about time they get some experience outside of the lab. Take Fischer; he's next in the rotation."

"Bones –"

"What?"

"Are…are you coming home tonight or are you going to sleep at your apartment?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Well, will you let me know what you do so I don't think you're lying in a ditch somewhere?"

"Why would I be lying in a ditch?"

"Just call me all right? Can you do that?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

He hung up. Brennan sighed, shoving her phone back down in her pocket. Was he really mad at her? She hadn't done anything. He was the one who hurt her, not the other way around. It was enough to make her decide to just sleep at her own apartment tonight. Let him struggle with getting Katie to sleep; it was his own damn fault for pushing her away. She decided to wait to inform him of this until he was home so he could put Katie on the phone for her to say goodnight to. That little girl was all she had left after all.

AN: Brennan's breakdown in the cemetery inspired by Piper in "Hell Hath No Fury." Holla at my Charmed fans!

And okay yes, you hate me right now. But do we not all hate Shonda for finally allowing Lexie to pour her heart out to Mark only to kill her off in a plane crash? Did we not all hate Marlowe for introducing Josh right after Castle ended things with Gina? And of course, did we not all hate Hart from the end of "The Parts in the Sum of the Whole" up to the last mention of Hannah? And yet, we always come back don't we? The fluffy, happy times will come. Just stick with me.