So, to make up for months of no update (prior to the last one) have a SUPER LONG ONE. I wanted to put more in this but it ended up being so much that I couldn't. Got to save some for later, yeah?

Anyways, this was great fun to write. And it did make me feel rather sorry for Varice.

Enjoy.

She awoke in Arram's bed again. This time, her mind was still too occupied to truly focus on that or feel the guilt that had assuaged her the last time she'd been in this situation. She'd needed to get her mind off of things, he clearly had, too. And there was now a good chance that they would soon be on opposing sides of a war. She found no reason to feel guilty for what had happened.

But she loved him and she was becoming increasingly aware that that feeling was not mutual between themm. He liked her; that was apparent through their conversations and her ability to still get a smile – however strained – from him in stressful situations. And there was enough attraction there, as this was the second night he'd taken her to bed. But friendship, if it could even be called that, and sex wasn't love.

Varice sighed, silently and waited for Arram to wake up, meanwhile rehearsing a way to make a hasty exit. Whether she was guilty or not, she still did not want to have any sort of discussion about what occurred between them now that it was over. There was another extravagant banquet that night; she could claim that she needed to get ready for it. It would have the merit of being entirely true and keep from sounding too much like the retreat it was.

He stirred and sat up reluctantly, looking like he did not sleep well. How anyone could rest easy, Varice didn't know. She'd considered taking something to help her sleep, but had a feeling that wouldn't do anything to help her already manic emotions. She sat up, too, holding the blanket against her and wondering if she should wait for him to speak first.

Thankfully, she didn't. "Varice," Arram began before pausing. It became clear in a matter of seconds that he was thinking of the least rude way of asking her to leave. Instead of being insulted, though there was a touch of hurt, she was mostly relieved as now it would not look as if she were running away. And even if it did, it seemed as though he wished to run from it as well.

She smiled, best she could in this situation. "Should I go?" She asked, too innocently.

He winced, just a little and after clearly taking his time thinking over how to answer he replied, "Your- Carthak's delegates have allowed our party a look into some of your spells. Today is the only day we're allowed to them so-"

Mage things. She truly had no interest in that. That and the fact that perhaps he only needed her to go because of duties and not because he wanted her, too… oh she was completely contradicting herself and knew it.. She came to grips with the idea that he did not love her, but wanted to believe he didn't want her to go. This was hopeless and the sooner she got out of the room the better.

"No, go right ahead," she said frivolously. She got up then paused, extending an accusatory finger at him, "Don't get too wrapped up and forget to eat." The banquet was early for a dinner, which meant no official lunch would be served to the delegates. Forgetting to get his own food was all too in character for the mage.

He gave her a small smile, "I think I can promise that."

She lingered in the doorway more than she wanted to admit, "Well, alright then." She gave the room one more sweeping glance and made the vague observation that the dead vulture mounted on his wall before was now gone. Odd... She shook herself and left.

In the common room area, Varice blushed to find that another member of the delegation was awake. Namely, Alanna the Lioness. She'd never considered the redhead a beauty, and now she seemed even more exhausted. Clearly this trip was weighing on more than just Arram. She felt a prick of sympathy mingle with acute embarrassment.

The Lioness didn't seem to bother with such emotions, simply sitting at the small table at the center of the room and glancing at Varice like she was something she saw everyday. Varice took a breath and moved to exit, with only the smallest of nods to acknowledge of the other woman. However, just before she was safely out Alanna's voice caught her, "Varice?"

Unsure what she could possibly want, she turned and asked, "What is it?" In what she hoped was the most cool self-assured voice possible.

Alanna rubbed her temple with her left hand, "Take- Take the slaves with you, would you? Please – I don't care what you send them to do, just as long as it's not here."

She blinked at the request before realizing it was a completely natural thing for a northerner to ask. She'd lived in Carthak all her life, though her parents had been northerners, so while she was not entirely fond of slavery, she was at least numb to it. She nodded slowly, "Certainly."

It only took a few words to the five or so that worked in the quest wing of the palace. They left and Alanna gave Varice a nod of thanks that also served as a dismissal. She left quickly, now with a train of slaves behind her. Thankfully no one questioned her. Confining – and rather frightening – as being in service to Ozrone was, it did give her certain liberties and a fair bit of privacy.

Her entire day was spent preparing the cake for the evening's banquet. Through all her turmoil of emotions and fears and anxieties, it was the one thing she could actually find joy in, some level of peace. For the hours she spent working and speaking to His Majesty's chefs and watching the confection – which looked like art to her – take shape, she felt like herself again. She pushed aside thinking about Arram, about whether or not he'd made up a reason to get her to leave, about whether or not he cared for Daine as a student or as a friend or as more, about whether or not Carthak would go to war or if the gods were or were not punishing the country. She shoved it all away and felt, for the first time in days, calm. Maybe even happy.

It was clear, as the banquet began, that she was likely the only individual who was so, and it sobered her nearly instantly when she looked upon the strained and tired faces of those surrounding her. She picked up bits of talk as people were served – the talks had reached a stalemate. The emperor hadn't even shown up that day. Something to do with fishing rights and the Prince's arranged marriage to the young Princess Kalasin of Tortall – something no one wanted to do.

The cold that spending the day in the kitchen had fended off settled back in her stomach. She tried to push it away, speaking lightly to Arram as he ate – slow as ever – but it wasn't easy. If the emperor was avoiding the peace talks, and after the anger and not-so-subtle threats from the night before… it boded disaster.

She refused to think of it, and continued to reassure Arram, who after being coaxed into telling her of His Imperial Majesty's absence, hadn't been in any mood to talk. In the back of her head Varice had a feeling her methods of trying to make him relax were foolish sounding and, well, rather annoying. She refused to think too hard on that as well.

Thankfully, she was diverted by the presentation of the cake that had taken up her entire day. The idea that it could – and did – momentarily take people's attention away from the talks of peace made her all the more proud of it. She stood to present it properly. Standing aside the cart it sat on, she took a sweeping glance at people's faces. Daine looked like she was impressed in spite of herself, as Prince Kaddar said something quietly to her, smiling with a touch of pride. Arram was smiling, nothing more than a twitch of his lips, but there.

Unfortunately, the emperor had to stand with her, too. Rules in place, she offered the ceremonial knife to him, hoping her hands didn't shake. Thankfully he waved her off with a gracious smile that didn't touch his eyes. Still, trying to steady her hands, she returned to cutting into the cake,

And then, she screamed.

Rats. That was the only thought she had. There had to be thousands of them, pouring out of the cake – more than a cake that size could ever hold. She felt dizzy and sick. Her vision blurred as she watched, unable to understand what was happening. How this could be happening. Her head spun and her stomach lurched as rats continued to leap from her cake. Some latched on to her dress but she was too stunned and frightened to respond other than another scream.

There were shouts and cries all around her, but loudest of all was the young Daine's "Stop!" She repeated the order several times before the rats indeed stopped their frantic climbing and scampering, however reluctantly. Varice's dizziness threatened to consume her, but she was able to form one hazy thought; that Daine did indeed look like a Demi-goddess. Her arms raised and her young face set in a cold, calm, and commanding expression. Varice suddenly felt small and weak. And promptly fainted.

She came to, to the disgusting smell of Wakeflower. Glancing around dizzily, she caught sight of the ruin that was her cake. The cake that was the one small bit of control and peace she'd made in her life. It was ripped apart, beyond repair. She felt tears sting her eyes, and felt even weaker for them. It hurt to look at it, but she couldn't stop.

And when her eyes tore away from it, it was to no better a view. Arram stood before his student, his hands on her shoulders, looking into her face worriedly. She was his first concern, of course. What upset her more was the calm on Daine's face, as if this was something that happened everyday to her. She was so strong, so powerful. It was no wonder Arram was so close to her, they suited one another.

Varice had never felt so useless. She knew her power was small, and she wasn't good for very much but she'd never wanted to do more. She still wasn't sure she did, but that didn't stop the tears from spilling over.

When Arram did come to check on her, there was nothing that could stop her from breaking down. He awkwardly held her, not bothering to say anything. Nothing would have helped. She felt overwhelmed and powerless and the embarrassment she felt at sobbing while a fifteen-year-old girl could control herself only made her cry more.

She eventually contained herself, sniffing awkwardly. Arram was looking at her, but she didn't want to hear whatever he was going to say. She didn't expect it would make things any better.

"Thank you," she said roughly, making a useless attempt to sound calm. "I'm going to go to my rooms now."

He didn't stop her, just gave her a small nod and squeezed her shoulder the way he would casually do to a friend. She didn't meet his eyes and ungracefully fled from the room.

It was too early for sleep, but the thought of confronting anyone, even a stranger, even a slave, was unbearable. She went to shut herself away from everything and simply tried to breathe.

She knew it was a foolish thought at this point, but she truly didn't believe anything could get worse than it was.

And then it did.

Suddenly, RATS! Thousands of them!

Also, this scene was hard to write because it's hard not to see Varice as weak and silly as Tammy writes her here. 'hysterical; clinging to Numair; ect'. But again, taking this from her mind, you have to realize this is scary stuff - rats notwithstanding, still just about everything normal in this lady's life is falling apart. I'd cry, too.

Next post will be Daine's 'running away' among other things.

Thank you for your patience, and do review. I love it.